ALTERNATIVE AUTHORS' QUOTATION FRAUD
Jason Colavito
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Authors of alternative history and ancient astronaut theories routinely employ slipshod scholarship to make their case for the existence of Atlantis, aliens, and other nonsense. In some cases, their sloppy methods cross the line into outright distortion and fabrication of the historical record. This page will collect examples of alternative authors manipulating, distorting, or hoaxing material they present as direct quotations in support of their theories. New examples will be added as they are uncovered.
So get ready to play everyone's favorite alternative history game, Fake That Quote! |
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ALLEGED TEXT OF THE MAHABHARATA ON PREHISTORIC NUCLEAR BOMBS
David Childress, Lost Cities of Ancient Lemuria and the Pacific (1988), pp. 72-3. Gurkha, flying a swift and powerful vimana, hurled a single projectile charged with all the power of the Universe. An incandescent column of smoke and flame, as bright as ten thousand suns, rose in all its splendor. It was an unknown weapon, and iron thunderbolt, a gigantic messenger of death, which reduced to ashes the entire race of the Vrishnis and Andhakas. The corpses were so burned as to be unrecognizable. Their hair and nails fell out. Pottery broke without any apparent cause, and the birds turned white. …After a few hours, all foodstuffs were infected… …to escape from this fire, the soldiers threw themselves in streams to wash themselves and all their equipment. See here for more on this false quotation. |
ACTUAL MAHABHARATA PASSAGES EXCERPTED AND COMBINED BY CHILDRESS
Ganguli Translation When the next day came, Camva actually brought forth an iron bolt through which all the individuals in the race of the Vrishnis and the Andhakas became consumed into ashes. Indeed, for the destruction of the Vrishnis and the Andhakas, Camva brought forth, through that curse, a fierce iron bolt that looked like a gigantic messenger of death. The fact was duly reported to the king. In great distress of mind, the king (Ugrasena) caused that iron bolt to be reduced into fine powder. (Mausala Parva, sec. 1) Day by day strong winds blew, and many were the evil omens that arose, awful and foreboding the destruction of the Vrishnis and the Andhakas. The streets swarmed with rats and mice. Earthen pots showed cracks or broken from no apparent cause. At night, the rats and mice ate away the hair and nails of slumbering men. […] That chastiser of foes commanded the Vrishnis to make a pilgrimage to some sacred water. The messengers forthwith proclaimed at the command of Kecava that the Vrishnis should make a journey to the sea-coast for bathing in the sacred waters of the ocean. (Mausala Parva, sec. 2) While the worlds were thus afflicted, Sakra, surrounded by the Maruts, battled against the three cities by hurling his thunder upon them from every side. When, however, Purandra failed to pierce those cities made impenetrable, O king, by the Creator with his boons, the chief of celestials, filled with fear, and leaving those cities, repaired with those very gods to that chastiser of foes, viz., the Grandsire, for representing unto him the oppressions committed by the Asuras. […] (Karna Parva, sec. 33) Thus equipped, that car shone brilliantly like a blazing fire in the midst of the priests officiating at a sacrifice. Beholding that car properly equipped, the gods became filled with wonder. Seeing the energies of the entire universe united together in one place, O sire, the gods wondered, and at last represented unto that illustrious Deity that the car was ready. […] Then He called Nila Rohita (Blue and Red or smoke)--that terrible deity robed in skins,--looking like 10,000 Suns, and shrouded by the fire of superabundant Energy, blazed up with splendour. […] The triple city then appeared immediately before that god of unbearable energy [Maheswara, or Siva], that Deity of fierce and indescribable form, that warrior who was desirous of slaying the Asuras. The illustrious deity, that Lord of the universe, then drawing that celestial bow, sped that shaft which represented the might of the whole universe, at the triple city. Upon that foremost of shafts, O thou of great good fortune, being shot, loud wails of woe were heard from those cities as they began to fall down towards the Earth. Burning those Asuras, he threw them down into the Western ocean. (Karna Parva, sec. 34) |
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ALLEGED QUOTATION FROM THE KEBRA NAGAST ON FLYING CARS
Erich von Däniken, Signs of the Gods (1981), p. 51 “But the King . . . and all those who obeyed his word, flew on the wagon without pain or suffering, and without hunger or thirst, and without sweat or exhaustion, and travelled in one day a distance which (usually) took three months to traverse.” |
ACTUAL PASSAGE FROM THE KEBRA NAGAST
Chapter 94 E. A. Wallis Budge Translation (1922) “But King David, with his soldiers, and the armies of his soldiers, and all those who obeyed his word, ran by the wagons without pain or suffering, and without hunger or thirst, and without sweat or exhaustion, and travelled in one day a distance that [usually] took three months to traverse.” |
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ALLEGED QUOTATION FROM ANGE-PIERRE LECA ON ALIEN HYBRID TWO-HEADED BULLS
Erich von Däniken, Twilight of the Gods (2009) “...again it seemed to be just one single bull, but again we found the bones of seven animals... including one huge old bull. A third animal must have had two skulls.” |
ACTUAL WORDS OF ANGE-PIERRE LECA ABOUT ARTIFICIAL EGYPTIAN BULL MUMMIES
The Cult of the Immortal (1980) “Inside a second seeming bull, the embalmer had mixed the bones of seven animals of which one was a two-year-old calf and one an enormous old male. A third held two skulls.” |
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ALLEGED QUOTATION FROM MAUD MAKEMSON'S TRANSLATION OF THE CHILAM BALAM OF TIZMIN
Erich von Däniken, Odyssey of the Gods (2012 eBook) "They came down from the stars…they spoke the magical language of the stars.” |
ACTUAL WORDS FROM MAUD MAKEMSON'S INACCURATE TRANSLATION OF THE CHILAM BALAM
Book of the Jaguar Priest (1951) “There will be the majesty of him who speaks the magic language of the stars of heaven submerged in blue water…” |
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ALLEGED QUOTATION FROM CHILAM BALAM
(EDITION AND TRANSLATION UNSPECIFIED) Peter Kolosimo, Not of This World (1970) "Creatures arriving from the sky on flying ships ... white gods who fly above the spheres and reach the stars." (Original Italian: «Esseri scesi dal cielo su navi volanti... dèi bianchi che volano su cerchi e toccano le stelle») |
This quotation does not exist in any published edition of the 14 Chilam Balam books but appears to be a distortion of passages describing the advent of the Spanish and French in the sixteenth century.
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ALLEGED PARAPHRASE OF AN ANCIENT "HISTORIAN" ON ALEXANDER THE GREAT'S UFO ENCOUNTER
Frank Edwards, Stranger than Science (1959) Alexander the Great was not the first to see them nor was he the first to find them troublesome. He tells of two strange craft that dived repeatedly at his army until the war elephants, the men, and the horses all panicked and refused to cross the river where the incident occurred. What did the things look like? His historian describes them as great shining silvery shields, spitting fire around the rims… things that came from the skies and returned to the skies. |
ACTUAL ANCIENT TEXT ON THE "SHIELD" INCIDENT
Quintus Curtius Rufus History of Alexander 4.3 Clipeos vero aereos multo igne torrebant, quos repletos fervida arena caenoque decocto e muris subito devolvebant. Nec ulla pestis magis timebatur: quippe, ubi loricam corpusque fervens arena penetraverat, nec ulla vi excuti poterat, et quidquid attigerat perurebat, iacientesque arma laceratis omnibus, quis protegi poterant, vulneribus inulti patebant. Corvi vero et ferreae manus tormento remissae plerosque rapiebant. (Further, the besieged heated brazen targets [i.e. shields] to a red heat, which, filled with burning sand and boiling slime, they suddenly discharged from the walls. None of their pestiferous devices was more terrible: whenever the burning sand insinuated between the armour and the body, it was impossible to dislodge it; and where the caustic touched, it consumed the flesh: the wretches tortured by it, flinging down their weapons, and tearing off every defensive covering, lay, unrevenged, receiving incessant wounds. The crows and grappling-irons shot from engines swept off a number of men.) (anonymous 1809 trans.) |
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ALLEGED ENCOUNTER OF HANNIBAL WITH A UFO AT THE BATTLE OF CANNAE IN 216 BCE
Cielo e Terra (August 1967) During the famous battle of Cannae (August 2, 216 BC), which saw the Romans routed by the army of Hannibal, a mysterious phenomenon was observed: “The day of the battle, in the sky over Apulia, round objects were seen in form of ships. The prodigy continued to repeat itself throughout the night. Aboard these objects they saw men dressed in white, like priests around an altar.” (my trans.) |
ACTUAL TEXTS OF LIVY USED TO FABRICATE THE UFO CLAIM
Livy, History of Rome, 21.62, 22.1, 24.10 21.62 (entry for 218 BCE): A phantom navy was seen shining in the sky […] in the territory of Amiternum beings in human shape and clothed in white were seen at a distance, but no one came close to them. 22.1 (entry for 217 BCE): At Arpi shields had been seen in the sky and the sun had appeared to be fighting with the moon. 24.10 (entry for 210 BCE): At Hadria an altar had been seen in the sky with men clothed in white standing round it. (translated by the Rev. Canon Roberts) |
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ALLEGED QUOTATION FROM HECTOR BOECE ON A ROMAN "UFO" ENCOUNTER IN SCOTLAND
Harold T. Wilkins, Flying Saucers on the Attack (1957) When the Roman Emperor, Agricola was in Scotland (Caledonia), wondrous flames were seen in the skies over Caledon wood, all one winter night. Everywhere the air burned, and on many nights, when the weather was serene, a ship was seen in the air, moving fast. […] In Athol, shower of stones fell from the sky into one place, and a shower of paddocks (frogs) fell on one day from the sky. And high in the air, at night, there raged a burning fire, as if knights in armor and on foot or horse fought with great force. |
ACTUAL TEXT OF HECTOR BOESE
Historia Gentis Scotorum 4.58 (1527) Multa et varia prodigia facta in Albione paulo ante quam Galdus cum Romanis pugnam iniret nostri tradunt annales. Ignitas acies (cyparissas vocant) per aera discurrisse, magnam Calidoniae partem visam noctu incensam, interdiu autem ab igne intactam, navium speciem in coelo apparuisse, in Atholia pluisse lapidibus, in Horestia ingentem ranarum multitudinem in pluviae formam e summo aere decidisse. Natum Tulinae (de quo oppido in superioribus est mentio habita) Hermaphroditum monstrum aspectu undiquaque foedum, idque ne hominem offenderet oculos illico necatum. Perculerunt ea prodigia multis mortalibus animos, atque in diversas traxerunt sententias: nonnullis ut fit ea in melius, alius in deterius interpretantibus. Our annals record that a large variety of prodigies had occurred in Albion a little before Galdus’ battle with the Romans. Flaming brands were seen to fly through the air, a great part of Caledonia appeared to be ablaze at night, but to be untroubled by fire in the daytime. Phantom ships appeared in the sky, in Athol it rained stones, and in Horestia there was a torrential downpour of frogs. At Tulina, a town I have already mentioned, a hermaphrodite was born, a foul monster in every respect, and was put to death lest it offend men’s eyes. These prodigies troubled many men’s minds and divided their opinions: as happens in such situations, some put a good interpretation on them, and others a bad. (source) |
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ALLEGED STATEMENT OF IBN BATTUTA ON HERMES
Peter Tompkins, Secrets of the Great Pyramid (1971) The famous traveler ibn-Batuta, writing 730 years after the Hegira, says that Hermes Trismegistos (the Hebrew Enoch), “having ascertained from the appearance of the stars that the deluge would take place, built the pyramids to contain books of science and knowledge and other matters worth preserving from oblivion and ruin.” |
ACTUAL STATEMENT OF IBN BATTUTA
The Journey (c. 1356) They claim that all the sciences that existed before the Flood were written down by Hermes the Elder, who lived in Upper Egypt and was called Khonodkh (this is the same figure as Idris, or Enoch). In their view, he was the first who discoursed on celestial movements and the higher substances, the first who built temples and there glorified the divine. He predicted the Flood to men, and fearing the loss of science and the destruction of the arts, he built the pyramids and temples on which he represented all the industrial arts and their equipment, and recorded the sciences so that they might be preserved forever. (my trans.) The language Tompkins used came from an 1840 summary of Al-Maqrizi's quotation of Abu al-Salt al-Andalusi found in Col. Vyse's Operations of 1840: "The author then observes, that it has been mentioned, that Hermes, called Trismegistus, and, in Hebrew, Enoch, having ascertained, from the appearances of the stars, that the deluge would take place, built the Pyramids to contain his treasures, and books of science and knowledge, and other matters, worth preserving from oblivion and ruin." |
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ALLEGED STATEMENT OF JACQUES DU CLERCQ ON THE UFO OVER ARRAS, FRANCE IN 1461
Luc Mary, Le temps manipulé (1996) On this day of Our Lord, All Saints Day, there appeared in the sky an object as bright as burning steel, as long and wide as half of the moon. It was stationary for fifteen minutes. Suddenly, the strange object began to spiral upwards and then it spun around and rolled over like a loose watch spring, after which it disappeared in the sky. Translated by Jacques Vallée and Chris Aubeck in Wonders in the Sky (2009). |
ACTUAL STATEMENT OF JACQUES DU CLERCQ ON THE METEOR OVER ARRAS, BURGUNDY IN 1461
Memoires 4.37 It is said that in the year one thousand four hundred and sixty one, on the night of the day of All Saints, in the town of Arras and the surrounding countryside, there was seen in the sky a burning thing like a very long and thick iron bar, of four toises [about 8 meters], and about the same thickness, resembling the half-moon; it was in the sky for a long time, for the space of half of a quarter of an hour. And it appeared as bright as the full moon, or more so. At last this bar, which for a long time was meandering in such a manner [here the author draws a spiral], went up into the heavens; people from around and within the city all saw it. Translated by Jason Colavito (source, p. 189). |
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ALLEGED STATEMENT OF CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS ON FINDING AN ANCIENT MOSQUE IN CUBA
Youssef Mroueh, "Pre-Columbian Muslims in the Americas" (1996) Columbus admitted in his papers that on Monday, October 21, 1492 CE while his ship was sailing near Gibara on the north-east coast of Cuba, he saw a mosque on top of a beautiful mountain. |
ACTUAL STATEMENT OF COLUMBUS
Recorded by the ship's chronicler Journal of the First Voyage (October 29, 1492) Remarking on the position of the river and port, to which he gave the name of San Salvador, he describes its mountains as lofty and beautiful, like the Pena de las Enamoradas, and one of them has another little hill on its summit, like a graceful mosque. The other river and port, in which he now was, has two round mountains to the S.W., and a fine low cape running out to the W.S.W. |
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ALLEGED QUOTATION FROM PEDRO PIZARRO ON BLOND-HAIRED, WHITE PEOPLE IN PERU
Pierre Honoré, In Quest of the White God (1963) The ruling class in the kingdom of Peru was fair-skinned with fair hair about the color of ripe wheat. Most of the great lords and ladies looked like white Spaniards. In that country I met an Indian woman with her child, both so fair-skinned that they were hardly distinguishable from fair, white men. Their fellow countrymen called them 'children of the gods'. |
ACTUAL TEXT OF PEDRO PIZARRO
Relation of the Discovery and Conquest of the Kingdoms of Peru (1571) Las indias guancas y chachapoyas y cañares eran las comunes: las mas hermosas y pulidas. El demas mugeriego comun deste reino eran espesas, no hermosas ni feas sino de un mediano parescer. Esta gente deste reino del Perú era blanca, de color trigueño, y entre los señores y señoras eran mas blancos como españoles. Yo vide en esta tierra una muger india y un niño que de blancos y rubios casi no vian. Estos decian ellos que eran hijos de los ídolos. (in Colección de documentos inéditos para la historia de España, vol. 5, p. 380) The Indian women of the Guancas and Chachapoyas and Cañares were the common women, most of them being beautiful. The rest of the womanhood of this kingdom were thick, neither beautiful nor ugly, but of medium good-looks. The people of this kingdom of Peru were white, swarthy in colour, and among them the Lords and Ladies were whiter than Spaniards. I saw in this land an Indian woman and a child who would not stand out among white blonds. These people [of the upper class] say that they were the children of the idols. (trans. Philip Ainsworth Means, 1921, p. 430) |
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ALLEGED TESTIMONY OF GARCILASO DE LA VEGA ON THE CAUCASIAN MUMMY OF CUZCO
Pierre Honoré, In Quest of the White God (1963) Quite unconsciously, he stopped before one of them which had hair ‘white as snow,’ in contrast to all the other mummies. [Polo de] Ondegardo told him it was the mummy of the White Inca, eighth ruler of the Sun. As the White Inca was said to have died very young, this cannot have been the whiteness of old age. It must mean his hair was not black to start with, and got even lighter over the course of the centuries; whereas the other mummies originally had black hair, which did not fade to such a light color. |
ACTUAL TESTIMONY OF GARCILASO DE LA VEGA ON THE MUMMIES HE SAW IN CUZCO
Royal Commentaries of Peru (1609) At length the Inca Viracocha, in the Height of Majesty, and Zenith of his Prosperity, submitted to the common fate of Mankind; he was generally lamented, and bewailed by all the Empire, and adored afterwards as a Child of the Sun, to whom they offered Prayers and sacrifices. He left to Pachamec, his Eldest Son, the inheritance, besides whom he had many legitimate Sons and daughters of the Royal Blood, with others born to him by his Concubines: he conquered and reduced Eleven provinces, four of which were to the South of Cuzco, and seven towards the North. It is not certainly known to what age he lived, nor how long he reigned, though according to common report, he governed above fifty Years and so he seemed to me to have been an ancient man, when I saw his Body at Cuzco, about the beginning of the Year 1570, which was the time when I was upon my departure for Spain and then I remember, that going to take my leave of the Governour, or Chief Justice of the City, called Paul Ondegardo, a Native of Salamanca; amongst other Favours which he did me, he was pleased to lead me into an inward room, and there tell me, that before I departed it would be convenient for me to have a sight of some of my relations, that so I might have another Story to tell of them in Spain; with that he shewed me five Bodies of Incas, three of Men, and two of Women; one of which the Indians report to have been the Body of Viracocha, which seemed to be very aged, the hairs of the Head being as white as Snow: The second they say was the Great Tupac Yupancpi, who was great Grandson to Viracocha: The third was Huayna-Capac, the Son of Tupac Yupanqui; and Grandson of the Fourth Generation to Viracocha the two last were Men with Gray Hairs, yet did not seem so aged. (Trans. Sir Paul Rycaut, Source) |
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ALLEGED TESTIMONY OF PEDRO DE CIEZA DE LEON ON THE LAKE TITICACA "SPACESHIP"
Alan and Sally Landsburg, In Search of Ancient Mysteries (1974), pp. 35-36 These Indians say that their ancient ones hold it to be the truth that there rose from this island of Titicaca a resplendent sun. |
ACTUAL TESTIMONY OF PEDRO DE CIEZA DE LEON ON PRE-INCA MYTHOLOGY
Chronicle of Peru, 2nd. book, chapter 5 (1540) As quoted in the Landsburgs' source, National Geographic, February 1971: These Indians say that their ancient ones hold it to be the truth that for many days the world was in darkness, and while they were all in blackness and obscurity, there rose from this island of Titicaca a resplendent sun. As given in the original and a standard translation: Antes que los Incas reinasen en estos reinos ni en ellos fuesen conocidos, cuentan estos indios otra cosa muy mayor que todas las que ellos dicen, porque afirman questuvieron mucho tiempo sin ver el sol, y que padeciendo gran trabajo con esta falta, hacian grandes votos é plegarias á los que ellos tenian por dioses, pidiéndoles la lumbre de que carecian; y questando desta suerte, salió de la isla de Titicaca, questá dentro de la gran laguna del Collao, el sol muy resplandeciente, con que todos se alegraron. Before the Incas reigned in these kingdoms, or had ever been heard of, the Indians relate another thing much more notable than all things else they say. For they declare that they were a long time without seeing the sun, and that, suffering much evil from its absence, great prayers and vows were offered up to their gods, imploring for the light they needed. Things being in this state, the sun, shining very brightly, came forth from the island of Titicaca, in the great lake of the Collao, at which everyone rejoiced. (Second Part of the Chronicle of Peru, chapter 5, trans. Clements R. Markham) |
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ALLEGED ASSOCIATED PRESS ACCOUNT OF CHINESE ALIEN-HYBRID DWARF VILLAGERS
Hartwig Hausdorf, The Chinese Roswell (1998) But the Associated Press, in a November, 1995 article, reported that some 120 dwarfish beings had been discovered living in Sichuan Province in Central China, the tallest of them being no more than three feet ten inches in height, and the shortest adult measuring two feet one inch. |
REPRESENTATIVE ACTUAL NEWS REPORT
Toronto's Globe and Mail (November 11, 1995) (Note: No AP story appears in Lexis-Nexis, see here) Scientists are baffled by a population of dwarfs in China. Of 120 villagers in 32 households in a hamlet in Zhizhong county in Szechuan province, 32 are dwarfs shorter than 3 feet 10 inches, reports Xinhua news agency, and one is only 25 inches tall. Chinese experts say an unidentified disease struck the children of the village in the 1930s and 1940s, causing pain in the joints of their legs and feet. Although it disappeared after two years, the children had ceased to grow. In the late 1950s, some people aged about 50 reported similar pains in their legs and feet and more than 10 of them were crippled. The drinking water is suspected as a cause of both outbreaks. |
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ALLEGED STATEMENT OF PROCLUS THAT THE GREAT PYRAMID WAS AN OBSERVATORY.
Robert Greaves, Pyramidographia (1688) [The Great Pyramid] ends not in a point, as mathematical pyramids do, but in a little flat or square. […] By my measure it is thirteen feet, and 280 of 1000 parts of the English foot. Upon this flat [top], if we assent to the opinion of Proclus, it may be supposed that the Aegyptian Priests made their observations in Astronomy; and that from hence, or near this place they discovered, by the rising of Sirius the [Sothic cycle]. […] That the priests might near these Pyramids make their observations, I no way question […] But that these pyramids were designed for observatories […] is no way to be credited upon the single authority of Proclus. |
ACTUAL TEXT OF PROCLUS ON EGYPTIAN PRIESTS
Commentary on the Timaeus of Plato, Book 1 (The source Greaves cites in his footnote) For extending to the Egyptian priests the most ancient transactions of the Greeks, he [Solon] leads them to the narration of their antiquities; of which the Egyptians participate in a remarkable degree, as they survey without impediment the celestial bodies, through the purity of the air, and preserve ancient memorials, in consequence of not being destroyed either by water or fire. (emphasis in original) (Greaves appears to have meant that Proclus uniquely stated that the Egyptian priests, contrary to popular opinion, were astronomers; the pyramid claims are Greaves' own. Later writers, including Richard Anthony Proctor, Robert Schoch, and Robert Bauval failed to recognize this distinction turning Greaves' passage into a retroactive false quotation.) |
