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Articles

EXTRATERRESTRIAL EVOLUTION?

Jason Colavito
2001


Author Alan F. Alford claims to be the "Voice of Common Sense" when it comes
to ancient aliens. We take a look at his decidedly non-sensical views on evolution.


Notes
  • This article first appeared on my old website, Lost Civilizations Uncovered, in 2001.
  • A version of this article appears in my book, The Cult of Alien Gods.


INTRODUCTION

Alan F. Alford calls himself the "voice of common sense" on his website where he publishes many articles about his books, which include Gods of the New Millennium and The Phoenix Solution. He is one of the few authors in the alternative history genre to say that he firmly rejects the ancient astronaut concept after doing extensive research in the field. He has determined that the "gods" were not flesh-and-blood aliens, but exploded planets instead: "I have argued that the religions of the ancient Near East were 'exploded planet cults' and that the priests popularised their religion by telling the celestial story with human-like imagery. In other words, the ancient priests 'dumbed down' their religion." Of course, appearances can be deceiving, and the ancient astronaut theory does not die such an easy death.

While there exists no scientific evidence to back up the claim of planets blowing up willy-nilly across the solar system, as Alford suggests, it is his shameful lack of knowledge about evolutionary theory that has led many of his readers into believing that our own species, Homo sapiens, was the genetic legacy of advanced residents of an exploded planet, a process he calls Interventionism: "For me, the most intriguing aspect of Interventionism is the possibility that ancient astronauts interfered with the evolution of the hominids on Earth, thus giving rise to Homo sapiens." The ancient aliens are back again in force.

The 40-year-old Alford became interested in ancient mysteries by reading alternative literature, according to his website: "The Ancient Astronaut Hypothesis has intrigued me for 15 years, ever since I read the books of Erich von Däniken. It was the writings of von Däniken, [Zecharia] Sitchin and other ancient astronaut writers which really got me hooked on the subjects of religion and ancient history." While he supposedly rejected this philosophy, even today he claims on his website to show that man is not descended from apes, but is the product of Interventionism from above. Whether the product of God or aliens is for the reader to decide. With this background in mind, let us examine Alford's arguments.

1. THERE IS NO MISSING LINK

Alford uses selective quotations from scientists like Stephen J. Gould (called "America's evolutionist-laureate" by Alford) to build a case that science has no concept of human origins. He quotes Gould as saying humanity is "an awesome improbability" without mentioning that Gould does not treat this as anything other than a mathematical fluke; winning the lottery is an awesome improbability, but someone wins somewhere in America every week.

Of the earliest of man's ancestor species, Alford says "It is also important to emphasise that many of these finds have skulls more like chimpanzees than men." Far from being a strange fact, this is precisely what one would expect from ancient ancestors, that they would be most like the apes from which they diverged millions of years ago. There is no mystery here.

Alford then cites a newspaper article as evidence that the human family tree baffles scientists, who he says cannot find a connection between the mysterious chimp-like creatures and modern man: "The missing link, however, remains a mystery. In 1995, The Sunday Times summarised the evolutionary evidence as follows: 'The scientists themselves are confused.'" Of course, as Stephen J. Gould or any number of evolutionary biologists will testify, this is not true. While the human family tree is complex and often incomplete, it is not without the general trend of ape-like to man-like creatures. Australopithecines gave way to Homo erectus and then modern man. This is fairly well-established, and Alford offers no evidence that this is wrong; therefore, we must conclude this argument does not hold water.

2. HUMANS HAVE NO HAIR

"Today, four out of ten Americans find it difficult to believe that humans are related to the apes. Why is this so? Compare yourself to a chimpanzee. Man is intelligent, naked and highly sexual - a species apart from his alleged primate relatives," Alford says. This is demonstrably false.

Alford maintains that the work of Sir Arthur Keith in 1911 demonstrated that the human was "nearly three times more distinctive than any other ape." He based this on "generic characters" that supposedly measure the distance between species. Alford shows his ignorance here, since 1911 was long before scientists learned that genetics, not noses or fur color, determined the relationships among the species. Therefore, Keith's study, while good zoology, is bad taxonomy.

"Darwinism has yet to produce a satisfactory answer as to how and why man lost his hair," Alford says. Strictly speaking, this true, since there is more than one possible explanation. Alford ignores volumes of scientific literature and attributes the furless human skin to sex and sexual selection. Among many explanations, one theory says hair loss came from a need to sweat to cool the body when tree-dwelling apes, who were in the shade, ventured to the savanna where a hot sun beat down on the body. Fur caused overheating, so a naked skin cooled the body. Alford ignores such ideas, saying "The one conclusion that can perhaps be drawn, based on the principle of gradiented change, is that man spent a long time evolving, either in a very hot environment or in water." Yes, exactly. Anyone who has traveled to the African savanna knows it is hot. Paleoclimatology says that 100,000 years ago, it was even hotter.

3. HUMANS LIKE TO HAVE SEX

Alford says that humanity has is different from all other animals because Homo sapiens has "unique human features such as extended foreplay, extended copulation and the orgasm." Unfortunately for Alford, foreplay, copulation and orgasm are not uniquely human. The bonobo (pygmy chimpanzee) engages in near constant foreplay with frequent and sometimes homosexual sex. The rhinoceros copulates for hours at a time. Lastly, if animals had no orgasms, why would they have sex? Obviously and biologically sex is enjoyable for most mammals.

He goes on to say that hidden ovulation, the fact that women do not advertise their periods of fertility as other apes do, is an "evolutionary enigma that cannot be explained by natural selection." Once again he is wrong. Concealed ovulation and open ovulation are used variously by different species, and evolutionary histories suggest that species go back and forth between the two as environmental situations warrant. Concealed ovulation leads to constant sex and a reinforcement of pair bonds. There is nothing unnatural about that.

For much of the above, Alford relies on the work of Desmond Morris. Morris, however, is not an evolutionary biologist but a zoologist with no special training in evolution. In fact, the biography Morris' agent provides says specifically that Morris "reminds us that man is relative to the apes--is in fact, the greatest primate of all." This is a far cry from the implication in Alford's work that Morris finds faults with the relationship between man and ape.

4. OTHER HUMAN PARTS ARE INCORRECT

Alford then complains about "the appalling ineptitude of the human skin to repair itself." Anyone who has had a cut or bruise can agree that skin can and does heal, and since most of us are not covered in scar tissue from cuts, the skin heals quite well.

Another problem for Alford is our eating habits: "Whereas most animals will swallow their food instantaneously, we take the luxury of six whole seconds to transport our food from mouth to stomach." He says humans had no place to develop this "luxury." Apparently the apes in the forest are flukes, too. Let's not leave out the pandas. These animals take time to swallow and have no problems with evolution.

5. THE BRAIN IS UNIQUE

He then argues that the complexity of the human brain shows that evolution could not create it. He even says that it is so complex that "it is so complex and unique that there is no chance of reverse engineering the evolutionary process that created it." Yet he expects us to believe that this miracle of complexity was bestowed by the aliens which apparently were able to grasp this self-same process of complexity creation.

6. EVOLUTION IS TOO SLOW

Alford then says, "It is widely accepted that we are the descendants of Homo erectus (who else was there to descend from?) but the sudden changeover defies all known laws of evolution." It does not. Here again his ignorance shows. All it takes to start a new species is two animals with the same mutation. He then says, "The experts all agree with Darwin's basic idea that natural selection is a very slow, continuous process" He obviously ignored the previously-quoted Gould's puntuated equilibrium which shows that great changes happen very rapidly followed by long periods of stasis. Thus, a lack of smooth transition is expected.

But Alford has another card up his sleeve: "If the evolution of a species is a time-consuming process, then the separation of one species into two different species must be seen as an even longer process." Here again he is wrong. As the artificial production of new plant species shows, new species can be created in a single generation. A mutation affecting sexual organs can do the same. He then claims, "Today, however, it is impossible to pinpoint a single example of a species which has recently (within the last half a million years) improved by mutation or divided into two species." Sea-gulls are dividing into not two, but multiple species as we speak. So far, those gulls can mate only with geographic neighbors; sea-gulls from farther away are too genetically distant and cannot mate. This is speciation.

Of course, the human birth canal is too small for babies' heads, so it is "extremely doubtful that natural selection would have favoured a gene for large brain size, with its potential harmful consequences to both mother and child." He forgets that the large brains made primitive humans survive on the savanna, a very useful trait. Those who lived got to mate, regardless of brain size. It just turns out that big brains are smart enough live longer.

That brain is too complex, Alford argues again, because it has programming for "non-essential abilities in art, music and mathematics." He forgets that those abilities are all related to spacial perception, a key necessity for living in a three-dimensional world.

7. THE CULT OF DARWINISM

Alford plays numbers games and makes many other arguments derived from "creation science" literature, but at this point we see how his thinking goes. It should not surprise us then that he finishes his essay by claiming "Clearly everything is not 'hunky dory' with Darwinism." He calls for an "alternative" to Darwinism, which is his label for science with which he disagrees. He even says that evolution's "general principles are of great value in explaining the evolution of animals and specific organs such as the eye, but severe doubts surround its practical application to man." If it can explain all of man's organs, then, pray tell, why not man? The answer for Alford is that an "intelligent extraterrestrial species migrated to the Earth." He believes that this is much more scientific than a century and a half of evolutionary research. Needless to say, he does not say whether the aliens evolved.



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        • Ancient Greece
        • Ancient Near East
        • Ancient Americas
      • Supernatural History
      • Book Image Galleries
    • Videos
    • Collection: Ancient Alien Fraud >
      • Chariots of the Gods at 50
      • Secret History of Ancient Astronauts
      • Of Atlantis and Aliens
      • Aliens and Ancient Texts
      • Profiles in Ancient Astronautics >
        • Erich von Däniken
        • Robert Temple
        • Giorgio Tsoukalos
        • David Childress
      • Blunders in the Sky
      • The Case of the False Quotes
      • Alternative Authors' Quote Fraud
      • David Childress & the Aliens
      • Faking Ancient Art in Uzbekistan
      • Intimations of Persecution
      • Zecharia Sitchin's World
      • Jesus' Alien Ancestors?
      • Extraterrestrial Evolution?
    • Collection: Skeptic Magazine >
      • America Before Review
      • Native American Discovery of Europe
      • Interview: Scott Sigler
      • Golden Fleeced
      • Oh the Horror
      • Discovery of America
      • Supernatural Television
      • Review of Civilization One
      • Who Lost the Middle Ages
      • Charioteer of the Gods
    • Collection: Ancient History >
      • Prehistoric Nuclear War
      • The China Syndrome
      • Atlantis, Mu, and the Maya
      • Easter Island Exposed
      • Who Built the Sphinx?
      • Who Built the Great Pyramid?
      • Archaeological Cover Up?
    • Collection: The Lovecraft Legacy >
      • Pauwels, Bergier, and Lovecraft
      • Lovecraft in Bergier
      • Lovecraft and Scientology
    • Collection: UFOs >
      • Alien Abduction at the Outer Limits
      • Aliens and Anal Probes
      • Ultra-Terrestrials and UFOs
      • Rebels, Queers, and Aliens
    • Scholomance: The Devil's School
    • Prehistory of Chupacabra
    • The Templars, the Holy Grail, & Henry Sinclair
    • Magicians of the Gods Review
    • The Curse of the Pharaohs
    • The Antediluvian Pyramid Myth
    • Whitewashing American Prehistory
    • James Dean's Cursed Porsche
  • The Library
    • Ancient Mysteries >
      • Ancient Texts >
        • Mesopotamian Texts >
          • Atrahasis Epic
          • Epic of Gilgamesh
          • Kutha Creation Legend
          • Babylonian Creation Myth
          • Descent of Ishtar
          • Berossus
          • Comparison of Antediluvian Histories
        • Egyptian Texts >
          • The Shipwrecked Sailor
          • Dream Stela of Thutmose IV
          • The Papyrus of Ani
          • Classical Accounts of the Pyramids
          • Inventory Stela
          • Manetho
          • Eratosthenes' King List
          • The Story of Setna
          • Leon of Pella
          • Diodorus on Egyptian History
          • On Isis and Osiris
          • Famine Stela
          • Old Egyptian Chronicle
          • The Book of Sothis
          • Horapollo
          • Al-Maqrizi's King List
        • Teshub and the Dragon
        • Hermetica >
          • The Three Hermeses
          • Kore Kosmou
          • Corpus Hermeticum
          • The Asclepius
          • The Emerald Tablet
          • Hermetic Fragments
          • Prologue to the Kyranides
          • The Secret of Creation
          • Ancient Alphabets Explained
          • Prologue to Ibn Umayl's Silvery Water
          • Book of the 24 Philosophers
          • Aurora of the Philosophers
        • Hesiod's Theogony
        • Periplus of Hanno
        • Ctesias' Indica
        • Sanchuniathon
        • Sima Qian
        • Syncellus's Enoch Fragments
        • The Book of Enoch
        • Slavonic Enoch
        • Sepher Yetzirah
        • Tacitus' Germania
        • De Dea Syria
        • Aelian's Various Histories
        • Julius Africanus' Chronography
        • Eusebius' Chronicle
        • Chinese Accounts of Rome
        • Ancient Chinese Automaton
        • The Orphic Argonautica
        • Fragments of Panodorus
        • Annianus on the Watchers
        • The Watchers and Antediluvian Wisdom
      • Medieval Texts >
        • Medieval Legends of Ancient Egypt >
          • Medieval Pyramid Lore
          • John Malalas on Ancient Egypt
          • Fragments of Abenephius
          • Akhbar al-zaman
          • Ibrahim ibn Wasif Shah
          • Murtada ibn al-‘Afif
          • Al-Maqrizi on the Pyramids
          • Al-Suyuti on the Pyramids
        • The Hunt for Noah's Ark
        • Isidore of Seville
        • Book of Liang: Fusang
        • Agobard on Magonia
        • Book of Thousands
        • Voyage of Saint Brendan
        • Power of Art and of Nature
        • Travels of Sir John Mandeville
        • Yazidi Revelation and Black Book
        • Al-Biruni on the Great Flood
        • Voyage of the Zeno Brothers
        • The Kensington Runestone (Hoax)
        • Islamic Discovery of America
        • The Aztec Creation Myth
      • Lost Civilizations >
        • Atlantis >
          • Plato's Atlantis Dialogues >
            • Timaeus
            • Critias
          • Fragments on Atlantis
          • Panchaea: The Other Atlantis
          • Eumalos on Atlantis (Hoax)
          • Gómara on Atlantis
          • Sardinia and Atlantis
          • Santorini and Atlantis
          • The Mound Builders and Atlantis
          • Donnelly's Atlantis
          • Atlantis in Morocco
          • Atlantis and the Sea Peoples
          • W. Scott-Elliot >
            • The Story of Atlantis
            • The Lost Lemuria
          • The Lost Atlantis
          • Atlantis in Africa
          • How I Found Atlantis (Hoax)
          • Termier on Atlantis
          • The Critias and Minoan Crete
          • Rebuttal to Termier
          • Further Responses to Termier
          • Flinders Petrie on Atlantis
        • Lost Cities >
          • Miscellaneous Lost Cities
          • The Seven Cities
          • The Lost City of Paititi
          • Manuscript 512
          • The Idolatrous City of Iximaya (Hoax)
          • The 1885 Moberly Lost City Hoax
          • The Elephants of Paredon (Hoax)
        • OOPARTs
        • Oronteus Finaeus Antarctica Map
        • Caucasians in Panama
        • Jefferson's Excavation
        • Fictitious Discoveries in America
        • Against Diffusionism
        • Tunnels Under Peru
        • The Parahyba Inscription (Hoax)
        • Mound Builders
        • Gunung Padang
        • Tales of Enchanted Islands
        • The 1907 Ancient World Map Hoax
        • The 1909 Grand Canyon Hoax
        • The Interglacial Period
        • Solving Oak Island
      • Religious Conspiracies >
        • Pantera, Father of Jesus?
        • Toledot Yeshu
        • Peter of les Vaux-de-Cernay on Cathars
        • Testimony of Jean de Châlons
        • Rosslyn Chapel and the 'Prentice's Pillar
        • The Many Wives of Jesus
        • Templar Infiltration of Labor
        • Louis Martin & the Holy Bloodline
        • The Life of St. Issa (Hoax)
        • On the Person of Jesus Christ
      • Giants in the Earth >
        • Fossil Origins of Myths >
          • Fossil Teeth and Bones of Elephants
          • Fossil Elephants
          • Fossil Bones of Teutobochus
          • Fossil Mammoths and Giants
          • Giants' Bones Dug Out of the Earth
          • Fossils and the Supernatural
          • Fossils, Myth, and Pseudo-History
          • Man During the Stone Age
          • Fossil Bones and Giants
          • American Elephant Myths
          • The Mammoth and the Flood
          • Fossils and Myth
          • Fossil Origin of the Cyclops
          • Mastodon, Mammoth, and Man
        • Fragments on Giants
        • Manichaean Book of Giants
        • Geoffrey on British Giants
        • Alfonso X's Hermetic History of Giants
        • Boccaccio and the Fossil 'Giant'
        • Book of Howth
        • Purchas His Pilgrimage
        • Edmond Temple's 1827 Giant Investigation
        • The Giants of Sardinia
        • Giants and the Sons of God
        • The Magnetism of Evil
        • Tertiary Giants
        • Smithsonian Giant Reports
        • Early American Giants
        • The Giant of Coahuila
        • Jewish Encyclopedia on Giants
        • Index of Giants
        • Newspaper Accounts of Giants
        • Lanier's A Book of Giants
      • Science and History >
        • Halley on Noah's Comet
        • The Newport Tower
        • Iron: The Stone from Heaven
        • Ararat and the Ark
        • Pyramid Facts and Fancies
        • Argonauts before Homer
        • The Deluge
        • Crown Prince Rudolf on the Pyramids
        • Old Mythology in New Apparel
        • Blavatsky on Dinosaurs
        • Teddy Roosevelt on Bigfoot
        • Devil Worship in France
        • Maspero's Review of Akhbar al-zaman
        • The Holy Grail as Lucifer's Crown Jewel
        • The Mutinous Sea
        • The Rock Wall of Rockwall
        • Fabulous Zoology
        • The Origins of Talos
        • Mexican Mythology
        • Chinese Pyramids
        • Maqrizi's Names of the Pharaohs
      • Extreme History >
        • Roman Empire Hoax
        • American Antiquities
        • American Cataclysms
        • England, the Remnant of Judah
        • Historical Chronology of the Mexicans
        • Maspero on the Predynastic Sphinx
        • Vestiges of the Mayas
        • Ragnarok: The Age of Fire and Gravel
        • Origins of the Egyptian People
        • The Secret Doctrine >
          • Volume 1: Cosmogenesis
          • Volume 2: Anthropogenesis
        • Phoenicians in America
        • The Electric Ark
        • Traces of European Influence
        • Prince Henry Sinclair
        • Pyramid Prophecies
        • Templars of Ancient Mexico
        • Chronology and the "Riddle of the Sphinx"
        • The Faith of Ancient Egypt
        • Spirit of the Hour in Archaeology
        • Book of the Damned
        • Great Pyramid As Noah's Ark
        • Richard Shaver's Proofs
    • Alien Encounters >
      • US Government Ancient Astronaut Files >
        • Fortean Society and Columbus
        • Inquiry into Shaver and Palmer
        • The Skyfort Document
        • Whirling Wheels
        • Denver Ancient Astronaut Lecture
        • Soviet Search for Lemuria
        • Visitors from Outer Space
        • Unidentified Flying Objects (Abstract)
        • "Flying Saucers"? They're a Myth
        • UFO Hypothesis Survival Questions
        • Air Force Academy UFO Textbook
        • The Condon Report on Ancient Astronauts
        • Atlantis Discovery Telegrams
        • Ancient Astronaut Society Telegram
        • Noah's Ark Cables
        • The Von Daniken Letter
        • CIA Psychic Probe of Ancient Mars
        • Scott Wolter Lawsuit
        • UFOs in Ancient China
        • CIA Report on Noah's Ark
        • CIA Noah's Ark Memos
        • Congressional Ancient Aliens Testimony
        • Ancient Astronaut and Nibiru Email
        • Congressional Ancient Mars Hearing
        • House UFO Hearing
      • Ancient Extraterrestrials >
        • Premodern UFO Sightings
        • The Moon Hoax
        • Inhabitants of Other Planets
        • Blavatsky on Ancient Astronauts
        • The Stanzas of Dzyan (Hoax)
        • Aerolites and Religion
        • What Is Theosophy?
        • Plane of Ether
        • The Adepts from Venus
      • A Message from Mars
      • Saucer Mystery Solved?
      • Orville Wright on UFOs
      • Interdimensional Flying Saucers
      • Flying Saucers Are Real
      • Report on UFOs
    • The Supernatural >
      • The Devils of Loudun
      • Sublime and Beautiful
      • Voltaire on Vampires
      • Demonology and Witchcraft
      • Thaumaturgia
      • Bulgarian Vampires
      • Religion and Evolution
      • Transylvanian Superstitions
      • Defining a Zombie
      • Dread of the Supernatural
      • Vampires
      • Werewolves and Vampires and Ghouls
      • Science and Fairy Stories
      • The Cursed Car
    • Classic Fiction >
      • Lucian's True History
      • Some Words with a Mummy
      • The Coming Race
      • King Solomon's Mines
      • An Inhabitant of Carcosa
      • The Xipéhuz
      • Lot No. 249
      • The Novel of the Black Seal
      • The Island of Doctor Moreau
      • Pharaoh's Curse
      • Edison's Conquest of Mars
      • The Lost Continent
      • Count Magnus
      • The Mysterious Stranger
      • The Wendigo
      • Sredni Vashtar
      • The Lost World
      • The Red One
      • H. P. Lovecraft >
        • Dagon
        • The Call of Cthulhu
        • History of the Necronomicon
        • At the Mountains of Madness
        • Lovecraft's Library in 1932
      • The Skeptical Poltergeist
      • The Corpse on the Grating
      • The Second Satellite
      • Queen of the Black Coast
      • A Martian Odyssey
    • Classic Genre Movies
    • Miscellaneous Documents >
      • The Balloon-Hoax
      • A Problem in Greek Ethics
      • The Migration of Symbols
      • The Gospel of Intensity
      • De Profundis
      • The Life and Death of Crown Prince Rudolf
      • The Bathtub Hoax
      • Crown Prince Rudolf's Letters
      • Position of Viking Women
      • Employment of Homosexuals
      • James Dean's Love Letters
      • The Amazing James Dean Hoax!
    • Free Classic Pseudohistory eBooks
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