Acting Attorney General's Bigfoot and Time Travel Claims; Plus: Kentucky's Governor Blames Zombie TV for Mass Shootings

11/15/2018

Despite the fact that the History Channel and I don’t have the best of relationships, it seems that their publishing partners at the Atlantic Monthly Press didn’t get the message. The publisher just sent me an advance copy of the History-branded The Curse of Oak Island tie-in book by journalist Randall Sullivan, due out just in time for Christmas. I only received the book Tuesday night, so I haven’t had time to read much, but I have to say that the introduction and opening chapter left me baffled. I suppose this must be a book for super-fans of Curse, since my general but not particularly deep knowledge of the “mystery” of Oak Island was not enough to make sense of the barrage of names and dates, or the convoluted history thrust upon me with little authorial guidance.

The book is also 400 pages long, so it’s going to take me a bit to get through, but let me say this: It makes me angry when a lazy author or publisher chooses to include a photograph of an article instead of retyping and printing the article in a way that can be read. Put it in an appendix. What am I supposed to do with 6-point photo-reduced type?

For your edification, I have added the article to my Library. If I can get the text put together in half an hour, surely a publisher with months or a year to work on this could have typed it out, too.

Remember how funny it was when the secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Ben Carson, claimed that the Giza pyramids were storehouses for Joseph’s grain, following a 1500-year-old medieval myth? Another member of Pres. Trump’s cabinet has been revealed as a crackpot straight from cable TV central casting. acting Attorney General Mark Whittaker is a believer in both Bigfoot and time travel, according to a Washington Post report, and attempted as a member of the board of a company later shut down over claims of fraud to sell products and services to fellow crackpots who are steeped in cable’s brand of lunacy. As the Post reported, Whittaker:

Claimed that “DNA evidence collected in 2013 proves that Bigfoot does exist,” had a website selling Bigfoot paraphernalia and planned a celebrity event called “You Have Been Squatched!”
Asserted that “time travel” could be “possible, perhaps within the next decade” and tried to raise money using bitcoin for time-travel research by one of Whitaker’s fellow board members. The company suggested users might “relive moments from your past” or “visit your future.”

He also promoted a patent application for an extra-large toilet for men with large penises.

Meanwhile, Kentucky’s Republican governor, Matt Bevin, claimed in a radio interview that zombies have played at least as important a role in the current wave of mass shootings as guns. Speaking with radio host Leland Conway, Bevin claimed that zombie television programs were ubiquitous and representative of a culture of death: “It starts with everything from the type of entertainment that we focus on,” Bevin said, according to USA Today. “What’s the most popular topic that seems to be in every cable television network. Television shows are all about, what? Zombies! I don’t get it ... that’s what we are.”

By my count, there are actually only three cable shows about zombies, airing on two channels: The Walking Dead, Fear the Walking Dead, and Z-Nation. Broadcast TV also has iZombie, a dramedy, and streaming has The Santa Clarita Diet, also a comedy. Ash vs. Evil Dead might have counted, but it was canceled. I guess you could extend the list to any show where an undead creature appears, such as Game of Thrones, but it starts to stretch the definition a bit.

Contrast that with the nearly 100 series about law enforcement and emergency services, many of which, particularly on CBS, fetishize the authority of the state. I’ve written in the past about the disturbing authoritarian tendencies of shows like the revived Hawaii Five-0, which celebrates police brutality and law enforcement operating without oversight under unilateral, unchecked executive authority. I’m not sure it’s an even balance with three zombie shows in terms of influencing public opinion.

Bevin went on to compare zombie television shows to abortion, claiming that both celebrate death and lead to a devaluation of human life. “When a culture is surrounded by, inundated by, rewards things that celebrate death, whether it is zombies in television shows, the number of abortions ... there’s a thousand justifications for why we do this," Bevin said, referring to mass shootings.

There is some irony there considering the most popular zombie show, The Walking Dead, was seen by the 2016 Trump campaign as a conservative program and one specifically targeted for campaign ads, according to no less an authority than Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, who explained the approach to Forbes last year. But he has one point: Zombie shows are certainly big on shooting, hacking, and otherwise mutilating human bodies for entertainment. He should know all about that, of course. It was popular entertainment in the South long before The Walking Dead. Indeed, George Romero folded it in to the ending of the very first modern zombie movie, The Night of the Living Dead.

48 Comments

Scott David Hamilton

11/15/2018 10:08:40 am

I don’t think it’s fair to say Whittaker ever stated a belief in Bigfoot or time travel. Those things were mentioned in the press release where it was announced Whittaker was joining the board, but Whittaker didn’t write that, presumably the words were those of Scott Cooper, the CEO. Certainly it’s fair to question Whittaker allowing himself being associated with such an obvious scam, but I don’t see any evidence that his reasons for joining the company were other than naked greed.

Joe Scales

11/15/2018 10:16:08 am

"As the Post reported, Whittaker:
•Claimed that “DNA evidence collected in 2013 proves that Bigfoot does exist,” had a website selling Bigfoot paraphernalia and planned a celebrity event called “You Have Been Squatched!”
•Asserted that “time travel” could be “possible, perhaps within the next decade” and tried to raise money using bitcoin for time-travel research by one of Whitaker’s fellow board members. The company suggested users might “relive moments from your past” or “visit your future.”

He also promoted a patent application for an extra-large toilet for men with large penises."

There you go Jason, playing fast and loose with your sources once again. What the post reported was actually this:

"During the current U.S. attorney general’s time on the company’s advisory board, from 2014 onward, World Patent Marketing:" {did those things you credit Whittaker for}

So yeah, he did legal work for World Patent Marketing and they named him to their advisory board. But hey, don't let that stop you from making a politically driven smear based on a hit piece article that you wholly exaggerated.

Debunking and partisan politics don't mix Jason. But again, hey... it's only your credibility that's on the line.

Jason Colavito link

11/15/2018 11:20:48 am

I'm not sure that admitting him to be an opportunistic grifter is really a step up from believing in this; but, the article I linked to contains links where he discusses these subjects in old interviews, where he seemed to be less than neutral on the subject.

11/15/2018 11:39:40 am

"Seemed to be" ??? As their attorney, he's their advocate. Do you not know how legal representation works? They are paid to represent their clients' position. Only on TV does a lawyer have to believe in what they're doing.

Just correct your error. Or don't. Again... it's only your credibility on the line.

11/15/2018 03:06:15 pm

Joe, in the real world, a lawyer still needs to think about how their representation of a client will make THEM look. The undeniable fact is, he represented a company that defrauded millions. If he DIDN'T know that anything skeevy was going on, then he, as their lawyer, was not doing his job, and thus is unqualified for his position. If he DID know that skeevy stuff was going on, then he's unqualified for his position for being complicit. Likewise, if he hawked this stuff truly believing in it, he's a crackpot, and if he hawked it not believing in it, then he's sheisty as shit.

Either way, Jason QUOTED A SOURCE, accurately, which says PRECISELY what Jason said it did. YOU are the one who is in error, here, honey. Because you seem to be so dead set on defending Trump that you have completely blinded yourself to ANYTHING even REMOTELY wrong, in a way that seems frankly in need of serious counseling.

11/15/2018 03:31:38 pm

"Either way, Jason QUOTED A SOURCE, accurately, which says PRECISELY what Jason said it did."

V honey, you don't need to shout. I hear you. But no, Jason personally attributed to Whittaker things that the article in question attributed to a company he was only associated with as an attorney. Failing to correct it simply means that his politics trump his ability to be accurate. Not a good thing for a debunker. That you'd miss it yourself, and hysterically defend it, says much in your regard as well.

As for my politics, I am and always have been an independent. If this blog went the other way politically and it affected the judgment, credibility and accuracy of the host, I'd be making the same complaint. But the political bent is fairly set in stone at this point at this venue.

T. Franke link

11/15/2018 06:33:59 pm

V is basically right, here.

An Anonymous Nerd

11/15/2018 07:32:36 pm

Key to Mr. Scales's argument is that Mr. Whitaker was acting as a lawyer, and therefore can't be held responsible for the claims his clients made.

I note first that, according to the article that Mr. Colavito linked to, he wasn't their lawyer, he was a member of the advisory board. A different thing.

I note second that even if he were their lawyer, he's not some regular lawyer looking for a regular legal job, who can make the claim "I did great for these crackpots, I will do great for you." He is, at present, the Acting Attorney General of the United States. I hope it is self-evident why this job is not quite the same as a normal legal job and, I suggest, requires a different sort of person held to a different standard.

I note third that the article Mr. Colavito linked to also links out to appropriate sources. I'm watching their time travel commercial as I type this. It's pretty nuts given that it's a way different thing to say "time travel may be possible according to the science" versus "time travel is commercially viable. Part of the commercial suggests messing with the timeline ("how would you make the world better").

All told it is not Mr. Colavito's credibility that's in question here.

-An Anonymous Nerd

11/16/2018 10:13:15 am

"V is basically right, here."

Franke,
Jason credits the Post in reporting that Whittaker personally made claims and assertions that the article most certainly does not do. Period.

Jockobadger

11/16/2018 05:53:51 pm

There's also the minor matter of at least one letter that Whitaker (one k) wrote to an investor who had the temerity to file a complaint with the BBB. The letter referenced his service as a former AUS in Iowa and was written in a distinctly threatening tone. Read it.

This guy has absolutely no business being appointed AAG. It was done for one reason and one reason only - to do the bidding of trump - to rid the king of this meddlesome priest. Speaking of which, he also believes in a religious test for all judges - need to adhere to biblical principles, by God! Sorry, not in this country. Not yet, anyway, though God knows Sessions was trying. This meathead won't last another month.

11/17/2018 08:25:53 am

Jocko,
If you don't want Whittaker as acting AG, that's fine. What isn't fine however, is attributing to him actions and beliefs in an unfair, sloppy and ignorant manner that have no basis given a claimed source and done with partisan fervor. I mean, let's face it. The Washington Post article was a hit piece designed to be misinterpreted by partisans in a light most unfavorable to their perceived foes. And Jason fell for it as he paraphrased its points not only unfairly, but inaccurately. His defense? His politics. The defense given by others, including you? Politics.

As I warned him long ago, politics will make him sloppy and give him the appearance of ignorance.

11/17/2018 05:56:14 pm

Joe - thanks for the reply.

I admit that my post was political - how not under the circumstances? I will also admit that the WaPo piece was a “hit piece” bc that’s exactly what it was.

Question: Did you read my post? You didn’t respond to my points re: the “AAG’s” letter to that hapless investor nor did you address the notion that it’s ok to apply a biblical test to our judges.

C’mon Joe. You are really ok with a theocratic judiciary? WWJD bracelets all around?

Jesus H Christ.

11/18/2018 10:08:07 am

I read it. Red herrings.

11/18/2018 03:26:59 pm

Sorry Joe. I call bullish-t. Gigantic steaming piles of it. Hoooly Crap.

Red F-ing Herrings! That’s it!
That’s the best you have in your quiver?

You want a religious test for judges?? This bullet-head said it! Multiple times. On. the. record. You are seriously ok with that?

Threatening/bullying a complainant using his remarkably slender quals as an AUS?

I’ve been reading this blog for a long time - only recently started writing a bit. I’ve read your stuff and you have not struck me as a typical Trumpian urophile.

C’mon man! You’re better than this, right? Adam ‘Schitt’?? You’re ok with that stuff too? Is that decorum in the WH? Admit what’s obvious to anyone with a whiff of education/common sense.

Red Herring!!!! Jesus H Christ.

Address my 2 questions please. “Red Herrings” is so lame!!!!

11/18/2018 06:12:32 pm

Red herring because your dicta had nothing to do with any point I've made. Still, I told you above that if you didn't want Whittaker as acting AG, I was fine with that. But rather than leave it at that, you want to argue your bullshit politics with me. No thanks. Just having to explain the obvious to you is trying enough.

American Cool "Disco" Dan

11/18/2018 07:28:30 pm

"You want a religious test for judges??"

Sorry, we already de facto have one. Name one federal judge or President, forget that, presidential candidate who publicly admitted to being an atheist.

bezalel

11/18/2018 08:48:50 pm

"Sorry, we already de facto have one. Name one federal judge or President, forget that, presidential candidate who publicly admitted to being an atheist."

De facto maybe, but you know better. The whackjob religious fringe-fundys in this country aren't satisfied with de facto.
You know very well we don't want an OFFICIAL test...ever. Our Constitution does not allow it. This is the gravity of Jocko's point.

Donald J. Fucktard Trump is potentially allowing these whackjobs to erase 500 years of progress in religious freedom (nearly perfected by Jefferson and Madison) within a half term of his effed-up presidency like a 3000 pound bull running 100 miles and hour in the wrong direction. Doesn't help that he appears to be appointing fringe nuts to high office all over the damn place.

These people do not see that removing religious influence from government actually protects individual religious freedom in the private sphere. But you do know that.

He doesn't know what he's doing in this regard, and that makes him very bad for this country; much worse in fact than the morons promoting the pseudo-scientific fringe or the brain dead neo-nazi imbeciles.

11/19/2018 01:01:15 pm

Well, Joe, I'm sorry you don't care to engage in discussion re: the obvious danger presented by this President and many of his appointees - Whitaker being the most recent and glaring example.

For a man that appears to be as well-educated as you, Joe, and as well-written, I'm surprised that you just refuse to grasp the nettle. Why? Do you really believe that trump is doing good things? I watched a bit of his interview with Wallace yesterday. It's astounding to me that the man can sit there and lie like he does - and that his supporters don't give a damn. I really hate the way-overused word surreal, but it's appropriate here.

Bezalel is absolutely right - the fundamentalist GOP pols in this country e.g. Sessions, will never be satisfied with a de facto "test." Whitaker has stated openly and on the record that judges need to do their judging using "biblical principles." He's serious and that is truly bloody scary. Use a jot of Leviticus here, a tittle of Revelations there, and pretty soon we're stoning gay people and starting the final war in the god damn "holy land.'

"Name one federal judge or President, forget that, presidential candidate who publicly admitted to being an atheist." Well hell...that's the whole point, Disco. We should not need to do that, nor should we care what someone else professes in the private life. I don't care if someone, for instance, drives their car using "biblical principles." Might even be a good idea. But we cannot allow state-sponsored religion to get a foothold in our country, and we're certainly headed in that direction right now (at 100 mph, per Belazel.)

It appears that somewhere around 25 percent of the US population are pig-headed supporters of our swine-in-chief who refuse to engage in constructive dialog, swallow his lies, and will follow this deranged moron as he tries to wreck our country. I'm sure glad that some of us are fighting back.

11/20/2018 10:59:15 am

"It's astounding to me that the man can sit there and lie like he does - and that his supporters don't give a damn."

Are you just now learning that Trump lies? When man bites dog then you'll have a story.

I watched that same interview. Did you catch the part where Trump said "You can keep your doctor" 17 times?

Bezalel

11/21/2018 04:59:50 pm

""You can keep your doctor" 17 times?"

That wasn't a lie
Rather it was complete misinformed incompetence

11/22/2018 04:35:15 pm

No, it was a lie told 17 times by Obama.

11/25/2018 10:50:02 pm

No
It wasn't

Just because he was too stupid or lazy to realize that what he said could not be supported in many cases within the law, does not make it a lie. He had no clue.

Lying is deliberately misrepresenting...
willfully stating...
a falsehood, which cannot be proven; hardly ever

Get familiar with basic legal shit, get less stupid, stop watching Columbo and Matlock and for god's sake stop voting until you improve.

DO NOT VOTE

Doc Rock

11/15/2018 10:31:15 am

For the first several years after the Walking Dead series came out it was super popular among many of my very left-leaning colleagues and students. So, it came as a big surprise to me to seeing the series being denounced for trafficking in fascist tropes starting back around 2015-2016.

I only followed the series sporadically and haven't actually seen a new episode in two or three years. Think I will have to play catch-up before assessing whether Walking Dead= Actual Fascism or Walking Dead= Fascism just because there are mean people with guns in it.

It is interesting to note that the series did result in a flurry of memes about self-reliant rednecks as saviors in the zombie apocalypse. On the other hands films such as World War Z provide rather different representations.

E.P. Grondine

11/15/2018 11:15:33 am

@Doc -

You need to spend less time watching television, and more time reading good books, such as "Man and Impact in the Americas".

11/15/2018 11:32:14 am

Well, considering that, as I stated, I haven't seen any of the last two or three seasons of WD one might suspect that I don't spend a lot of time glued to the tube. Or, at least I am not glued to it long enough to prevent me from reading 3-5 books a week and too many peer reviewed journal articles and book reviews to keep track of. That is, depending on how well lit my favorite watering hole at the time happens to be.

But I will be sure to add your book to my long-term reading list.

Fast Eddie Tilson

11/15/2018 09:12:04 pm

I have never seen "The Walking Dead". I refuse to watch a show about the Republican Party.

PaulN. link

11/15/2018 11:57:28 pm

For a counterpoint, here is Bob Hopes take on zombies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a6YdNmK77k

11/15/2018 10:53:26 am

Re: Mr. Whitaker -

https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/09/politics/matthew-whitaker-dark-money/index.html

It promises to be an interesting winter.

Ms. Clinton's vast right wing conspiracy vs. Ms. Clinton, at the same time the investigation into the Russian operation continues. The later most likely ran through the Mercers and Bannon, but we'll see.

I thought "Them" was far better than "Night of the iving Dead".

11/15/2018 11:09:43 am

a little more on this -

https://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/whitaker-background-conservative-fact

Has anyone compared Trump's pay for play with Clinton's?

11/15/2018 11:33:35 am

And a little more -

https://web.archive.org/web/20150724184044/http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/02/donors-trust-donor-capital-fund-dark-money-koch-bradley-devos

11/16/2018 08:25:29 pm

See my reply to Doc Roc above. Jesus H Christ. If I was a believer I’d say God help us.

11/16/2018 08:30:08 pm

My mistake - not responding to Doc Roc but rather Herr Scales. Very sorry. Lashings of strong drink after a hard day should not excuse it, but....

Keep up the good work.

11/15/2018 11:35:20 am

More sloppiness:

"There is some irony there considering the most popular zombie show, The Walking Dead, was seen by the 2016 Trump campaign as a conservative program and one specifically targeted for campaign ads, according to no less an authority than Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, who explained the approach to Forbes last year."

From the Forbes article:

"This wasn't a completely raw startup. Kushner's crew was able to tap into the Republican National Committee's data machine, and it hired targeting partners like Cambridge Analytica to map voter universes and identify which parts of the Trump platform mattered most: trade, immigration or change. Tools like Deep Root drove the scaled-back TV ad spending by identifying shows popular with specific voter blocks in specific regions--say, NCIS for anti-ObamaCare voters or The Walking Dead for people worried about immigration. Kushner built a custom geo-location tool that plotted the location density of about 20 voter types over a live Google Maps interface."

Did Kushner actually confirm they used the Walking Dead to seek conservatives in this manner, or was it simply used as a for example as expressed by the article's author? Doesn't matter to you, because you saw a Trump ad while watching Walking Dead, so there you went. From this you now claim Walking Dead viewers are conservatives who crave violence akin to lynchings of the past. This despite The Walking Dead featuring numerous bi-racial pairings and wholly developed gay characters which would seemingly tilt the scale in the other direction.

Yeah, it's beyond sloppy at this point Jason. It's ignorance. Plain and simple.

11/15/2018 03:10:02 pm

Joe, seek help. Your vitriol and nastiness are worrisome.

11/15/2018 03:35:11 pm

It's called debunking V. Often debunkers get called hateful by those whose views are criticized. And now you're one of those V. You and Wolter.

RiverM

11/16/2018 04:01:43 pm

V, How about debating Joe's points? A common theme with those who disagree with anyone who isn't a socialist today is to attack one's character because they cannot provide an argument.

11/16/2018 08:45:40 pm

Hey RiverM, just did - see above. There are several responses. Whitaker has no business being AAG. Period.

11/18/2018 04:34:25 pm

[V, How about debating Joe's points?]

I can't speak for V but to my mind Mr. Scales doesn't really have any points in this instance -- I debunked this particular assertion he made in my post with the timestamp "11/15/2018 07:32:36 pm"

[A common theme with those who disagree with anyone who isn't a socialist today is to attack one's character because they cannot provide an argument.]

I haven't experienced much of this with the Left, actually, but I've experienced it with the Right, and from their allies from elsewhere on the Fringe, for decades now. For the latest example note the plethora of "so and so owns the libtards" videos on Youtube. For earlier examples, note the existence of the term "libtard" with no parallel term on the Left that I'm aware of; the Supreme Court career of Antonin Scalia (wherein he benefited mightily from the US's cultural association of meanness and intelligence); the broadcast career of Rush Limbaugh (all comes down to the insults); the political career of Newt Gingrich (all comes down to the insults and there are examples of this in his career going back to the 1980s, see Tip O'Neil's book 'Man of the House); the academic career of Jordan Peterson (all comes down to insults and his assertion of his own ideology as representing an academic consensus); etc.

And don't even get me started on the bizarre and baseless over-use by the Right of the term "socialism" or "socialist." The way you all use it these days it's basically "anything you dislike."

-An Anonymous Nerd

orang

11/15/2018 05:58:33 pm

Joe,
Please get your head out of Trump's butt and take a breath of fresh air. It'll help you think.

11/16/2018 10:20:50 am

Putting your rectal fantasies aside for a moment, politics is doing a disservice to this blog. On this post alone, you've been shown two instances of our host playing fast and loose with his sources; and in both instances, solely to make political smears. So whose head is up where?

11/15/2018 06:36:55 pm

And here, Joe Scales has a point.

Pipi

11/15/2018 11:07:57 pm

How you figure? That they targeted other viewers as well?

11/16/2018 07:30:14 am

[And here, Joe Scales has a point.]

Not really. Mr. Colavito's point is that there's a certain irony in being targeted for ads by one Conservative (Mr. Scales's favorite reality show star) and targeted (ridiculously, I add) for blame by another.

Against this Mr. Scales has questioned if it really was targeted for ads by his favorite reality show star, and questioned if the show really does have Conservative leanings.

The second point isn't quite relevant. The issue isn't how Conservative the show really is. It's how Conservative the audience and the ad people thought it was.

The first point simply fails. The quote he provides simply doesn't make sense if the show were a purely hypothetical, made-up example. Why that show specifically used? Why not, say, some cop show, or Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.? No, it makes more sense if the show was cited by Mr. Kushner, then cited by the author of the piece as being one of a list of shows cited by Mr. Kushner. If it turns out to be purely hypothetical I'll be very surprised.

So, no, Mr. Scales really doesn't have a point here.

-An Anonymous Nerd

Frank

11/16/2018 10:49:50 am

"Please get your head out of Trump's butt and take a breath of fresh air. It'll help you think." Idiots can never think, they just "follow the leader."

And talk about getting one's head out of someone else's butt, and idiots. What about our T. Franke?

T. Franke
11/15/2018 06:36:55 pm

And here, Joe Scales has a point.

Talking about advocates, how does the mighty Joe Scales feel about being defended by an idiot? Will the mighty sage lend any weight to the words of those he calls idiots?

Perhaps T Franke wants to put his head up Joe's butt, so as to get a future pat on the back from him. Just like with Atlantis, T Franke can never take any side, as he is always flying around like a flag on a pole on a windy day. He blows in the wind in which way the wind blows.

T. Franke
11/15/2018 06:33:59 pm

V is basically right, here.

And as far as being independent, one must be able to reason, besides rendering unbiased opinions. Anyone with their head up anyone's butt cannot be independent, especially if it's Trump's butt...the shittiest butt of them all. And it does not take much to debunk Trump's nonsense, or for that matter, debunk anyone Trump selects. They are hypocrites. Whittaker pushes the Bible and the Ten Commandments, while being a co-conspirator in defrauding the public....albeit, a naive public. Who but the naive would buy into that nonsense of Bigfoot, time-travel, and extra-long penis commodes? And who would buy the idea that Trump did not put Whittaker there to protect his interests? Only those who are naive, or those who have their heads up Trump's butt, or both...whichever comes first, if you know what I mean.

11/19/2018 02:40:57 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-4uKgXRnpI

11/16/2018 02:02:36 pm

Of course time travel is possible. Don't you remember those freemasons showing up in 2010 to buy all that worthless bitcoin?
Yeah, we needed funds for our time machine so we could travel back to ~3.8 billion BC and hollow out the moon, morons.

You don't remember that?
Yeah, we cashed out the stupid bitcoin in 2017 so we could buy gold and then sell that in 2028 for about 22000x. Almost no gold left in 2028 because of the yuge heat shield we needed for the upper atmosphere.

Space Force built that one, bitches.

Anyhoo, we needed to push the moon's orbit out way back in 3.8 billion BC so it would block the sun more precisely, not to mention lessen the size of earth's tides, so we mined the moon out from the middle. Fallout from that was we inherited a bunch of rare earth elements. How'd we get those?

Simple, moron, we just lifted up the moon material till it would then fall to earth as meteorites, where you think all those goddamn craters came from? That's right, we make it RAIN comets, meteors and other shit you idiots.

Why did we want rare earth elements?

Magnets for superconductors

So we can build more time machines.

What, why didn't we just get the rare earths from the asteroids you say? Because, moron, the asteroid belt wasn't there in 3.8 billion BC! Those asteroids used to be a planet. Yeah, we blew it up and that fucked up our pyramid projects on Mars, which used to be the moon of the planet we blew up; THAT sucked big time. A few of us got banished for that little mistake.

Not much rare earths in those asteroids either, but who knew?

Yeah, that's right. If it weren't for freemasons, the tides would be yuuuuge and evolution wouldn't have happened. You're welcome idiots.

We made eclipses possible
We made time machines
We terra-formed the solar system, bitches

2028 is the past, try to keep up. Eff you. Join the freemasons, we are always fucking busy; got stuff to do.

Kevin D. Randle link

11/19/2018 05:36:28 pm

I am outraged. I can't believe they sent you a book on Oak Island when I have been writing about these adventures for years. Maybe it's because I believe Joy Steele actually solved the mystery. There is no treasure as the Laginas have proved time and again. There never was a treasure. Maybe that's why I didn't get the free book. They know that I know something about the topic.

harry

5/2/2019 10:35:30 am

Dont you find it so easy to condemn others who are capable of thinking outside the box? Yeah, thoight so

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