"Ancient Aliens" Launches New Novelty Product Line; Plus: Travel Channel Visits Kensington Rune Stone

10/1/2016

Let’s start today with depressing news from the world of cable fringe history. A+E Networks, the parent company of the History Channel, announced that it’s creating a new line of novelty toys and gifts based off of their hit series Ancient Aliens to be sold in Spencer Gifts. If there is any good news from the announcement, it’s that the merchandise will be sold at Spencer Gifts, a retail store in those weird, abandoned ritual centers known as “malls” that have become archaeological sites since their wholesale abandonment a decade ago.

“As fan enthusiasm for Ancient Aliens continues to move from strength to strength, we are thrilled to partner with a retail trend leader like Spencer’s to develop a product line around the property’s totally unique appeal,” A+E Networks Brand Licensing vice president Jill Tully said in a press statement. “From science fiction to memes, the range of merchandise is a really fun way to extend the brand.”

I’m not sure whether it’s more depressing that the History Channel consider lies to be a “brand,” or that they are happy to mislead viewers as long as it makes money.

To that end, I was somewhat surprised that the PR team for History’s Ancient Aliens fan convention, Alien Con, contacted me three times to ask if I would be willing to talk with the Alien Con team for a potential blog post about the upcoming convention. I called their bluff yesterday and said that I would be delighted to speak with them about the convention. The PR guy told me that he would try to find someone who was “willing” to speak with me about Alien Con by phone, and then I heard nothing the rest of the day. I’ll follow up on Monday, but it seems that my reputation precedes me.

Speaking of cable’s interest in fringe history, last night Mysteries at the Museum on the Travel Channel offered a segment on the Kensington Rune Stone as the lead off segment to its newest episode, “Kensington Runestone, Smile! You’re being Hijacked and Harriet the Spy,” which sounds more like a Chinese spambot than a TV show title. The episode opens with Alexandria’s giant Viking statue, followed by a trip to the Runestone Museum.

I have never been to the museum, so I was, frankly, a bit surprised to see its strip-mall aesthetic, and I’m not sure I would have held up a canoe and a bicycle as prized possessions. The narrator didn’t quite explain what any of those objects have to do with the Kensington Runestone (KRS), but I gather that the museum offers a mix of Minnesota history and Scandinavian history to complement its most famous artifact.

David Krueger, who wrote a book about the stone last year that I greatly enjoyed, appears on the show as the sole talking head to discuss the stone. The narrator calls the KRS “bizarre,” which seems about right, if somewhat inappropriate. Some cheap reenactments tell the familiar (to us) story of how the stone was uncovered in 1898, but it’s clear that Mysteries at the Museum didn’t spend too much time or money on the segment. The Runestone was discovered in the fall of 1898, but the reenactment clearly was filmed in early summer, complete with lush grass and verdant trees. The jaunty music also suggests that the producers didn’t take the story very seriously, either.

The narrator relates the story told on the KRS, namely that it tells of a Norse expedition to America in 1362, and the show explains some of the early controversies over whether the stone was a genuine medieval artifact or a modern hoax. The production relates the early analysis that the KRS contains runes inconsistent with a fourteenth century date, making it a hoax. There is no mention of any geological evaluation, secret codes, Templar land claims, or Jesus’ secret kids.

The segment concludes with a sop to true believers by saying that “no one knows” whether the KRS is genuine, and, having thrown its hands into the air, the show takes off for more pleasant climes in Miami. The impression it gave, however, from the only evidence the producers chose to include, is that the stone is a hoax but that those with “Scandinavian heritage” in Minnesota don’t want to accept this.

All in all, it was a slight, rather superficial segment.

22 Comments

Gunn

10/1/2016 12:19:46 pm

"I’m not sure whether it’s more depressing that the History Channel consider lies to be a “brand,” or that they are happy to mislead viewers as long as it makes money."

Herein lies my same angst against Big Ole and the Kensington Runestone Museum you mentioned. Alexandria presents itself stupidly as the Birthplace of America, via Big Ole, standing tall over the museum and the KRS.

But, Vikings represented paganism, not Christianity, and there is substantial evidence in the message of the KRS to show that the KRS is a medieval Christian document (in my opinion).

The museum sells plenty of Big Ole trinkets without caring about the damage being done to kids and to the greater community. They are marketing lies as much as the example you just gave, of alien-related lies being popularized by merchandize in Spencers.

To make matters even worse in Minnesota, Runestone Hill has equally stupid signage that includes a false take on what stoneholes in the area were created for...apparently mooring big Viking ships! They also have an old plaque telling about Holand's take on Paul Knutsen's mythical search for the lost Greenlanders, which they incorrectly suppose brought the KRS party here.

So, I guess lies and merchandizing falsehoods can go together pretty well for profiteers not a bit interested in history or the truth.

David Bradbury

10/1/2016 02:10:31 pm

Don't forget that Leif Erikson's famous luck helped him persuade his fellow Greenlanders to become Christian, over 300 years before 1362 !

10/1/2016 06:12:31 pm

Hi David. Certainly, there would have been some confusing crossover time when Vikings were being Christianized, but one has to wonder whether these new converts could still be called Vikings, even at the end of the Viking Age, if the term Viking usually denotes ripping other people off.

In this vein, the 1362 KRS is thoroughly outside the Viking Age by a few hundred years. I suppose it's always possible Norsemen were exploring around this region well before the KRS arrived, though, perhaps as early even as the end of the Viking Age.

I personally believe Norsemen probably arrived near the MN/Dakotas border via Hudson Bay before explorations came westward from Vinland via the St. Lawrence Seaway.

But, any Norsemen exploring deep into America's interior still likely would have arrived after the pagan Viking Age, it seems. That's not to say that pagan Norse chieftains or "minor" kings may not have explored around here on their own during the Viking Age. Scandinavians seem to have been land-grab happy during this era before disease devastated Europe and plenty of vacant land was suddenly available.

It surely looks like Norsemen were interested in America's interior several hundred years before the later French arrived, if one could behold all the many evidences up in this region at the same time: the KRS, the many aged triangular-shaped stoneholes, the many metal artifacts, some with good legal affidavit provenance, besides the several Norse-appearing, aged petroglyphs in this region.

I think there is a good case to be made that there were likely several expeditions into this region, some likely well before the KRS was deposited where Scandinavians were expected to come back...for some reason.

10/1/2016 06:25:03 pm

Leif Erikson was almost certainly a first-generation Greenlander. It is most unlikely that any Greenlander could strictly be called a Viking. Quite the opposite if anything, they were peaceful settlers sometimes troubled by raids from "remigantibus" ("rowers", per Adam of Bremen).

Time Machine

10/2/2016 06:53:21 am

Hey David Bradbury,

We don't know for sure who discovered America.
It could have been the Chinese (who first landed on the Moon 50 years later).

10/2/2016 06:58:13 am

Hey Gunn,

The petroglyphs on Dighton Rock prove that America was discovered by the Phoenicians, long before the rubbish claim about Prince Henry Sinclair.

Ezra Stiles, then President of Yale College, believed the petroglyphs to be Hebrew.

flip

10/2/2016 05:30:18 am

It's becoming clear to me that for Gunn, aka Bob, proving the KRS real has nothing to do with pre-Columbus explorations by Vikings but very much about proving Christianity was the 'original' established religion in the Americas.

This is no different than Mormonism and gold plates.

FSM forbid that we acknowledge Native Americans were there first and that America is not Jerusalem or you know, that the First Amendment exists for a reason. FSM forbid the pagans got there *second*.

10/2/2016 12:12:24 pm

Hi flip, you seem to have flipped your lid. I don't need to "prove" the KRS; it proves itself quite handily, since it has never been proven to be a hoax...and...right, it never will.

If part of the KRS's inscription has been understood by many over the years as bearing evidence of Christianity, how is it egregious for me to go along with the same conclusion? If pre-Columbus explorations point to Christianity, so be it. I have no hidden agenda as you incorrectly judged.

I have my own views quite separate from others. For instance, it's pretty well understood by now that humans of asian stock of one kind or another first arrived in the Americas. So, who discovered America? Those first-arriving humans from who-knows-where, but with former connections to asia, most likely. I don't have any hang-up's about who discovered America or when.

Neither am I a racist of any sort, as some might suppose, if I choose to look into the local history of the place I live(d), which gives off very strong indications of a medieval Norse past.

Don't confuse my beliefs with those of Wolter, please. Although the concept of a "New Jerusalem" may seem valid in some imaginary renderings, such as connected with the Knights Templar or post-Knights Templar, I personally think the medieval Norse activity farther west near the MN/SD border had more to do with simply recognizing that a great ocean-to-ocean waterway circle was hooked together, or completed here.

The land-spot of this waterway circle coming together could have been deemed special enough to want to concentrate on efforts to settle here...as quite a lot of evidence seems to be pointing out, especially along SD's Whetstone River.

This is my theory, and the likely medieval Norse "Code-stone" I found last year most likely ties into this, via medieval waterway surveying and marking. Hopefully, time will tell, as professionals descend upon the scene, finally, with great expectations....

(I guess a little bit of humorous rabble-rousing never hurt, right?)

10/2/2016 06:57:34 am

10/2/2016 12:21:47 pm

How about if Time Machine skips down the Yellow Brick Road to get new clock-related innards from the Wizard of Oz (Maybe Sinclair in disguise)? While there, ask the Wizard why there are no more templar secrets. (And please tell Toto hi for me, too....)

Ken

10/1/2016 12:23:01 pm

I can't wait to invest in a Giorgio Tsoukalos action figure. If I hold on to it until aliens actually do get here, I can probably get $1.27 for it.

PaulN. link

10/5/2016 01:07:35 am

I want the David Childress squeeze dool. Press it's tummy and it's ears, eyes, and tongue pop out and it squeaks "Aliens did it"

Kathleen

10/1/2016 01:28:49 pm

I can only imagine the squeek of dismay when someone up the chain of command finds out that the PR guys offered to get you involved in AlienCon.

Shane Sullivan

10/1/2016 01:36:36 pm

Frankly, I'm just glad Mysteries at the Museum talked about the anachronistic runes, and pretty much left it at that.

10/1/2016 07:33:31 pm

I think Jason was kinda harsh about the reenactment. Unless the actors were wearing hoodies and Nike sneakers, I don't think Average Joe viewers care about accuracy

10/2/2016 07:10:46 am

Good job there's an afterlife.

Clint Knapp

10/1/2016 07:09:07 pm

Wait. What the hell did Harriet the Spy have to do with it all, then?

Are her adorable sleuth shenanigans part of the cover-up? Is she a secret disinformation agent working against the Scandinavians to deny them their claim to sovereignty over the holy land of Minnesota and the bloodline of Jesus?

Was Louise Fitzhugh encoding secret messages about the truth of the runestone?

10/2/2016 06:51:17 am

Hey Clint old boy

I like these conspiracy theories and think there is absolutely nothing wrong with them.

Stop spitting your fire and brimstone.

Jim

10/2/2016 08:11:54 am

"Jesus’ secret kids",,, They are still out there you know ? In the sixties three of them formed a folk group and sang about puffing on magic mushrooms or something.

10/2/2016 08:21:44 am

You can't put the genie back into the bottle once it's out.
Whatever you can dream of, it will continue to exist forevermore.
There's a whole school of theological scholarship arguing that Jesis Christ was gay and there's nothing in the Bible condemning gays - indeed there is a queer version of The Bible.

10/2/2016 08:41:34 am

The pronouncements of Professor Morton Smith and Jens Jorgen Thorsen during the 1970s about the sex life of Jesus Christ, and Scorsese's 1988 film "Last Temptation of Christ" -- that caused much controversy, all seem millions of light years away in 2016.

Mike Morgan

10/5/2016 02:43:05 am

Ha ha ha ha, oh stop Scott, you're killing me!

"I can't even watch crap television like that, ugh... ".

From his comment concerning the episode made October 2, 2016 at 7:20 AM, under his blog of Saturday, July 2, 2016, "Kensington Rune Stone Inscription Finally Solved!"