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Ancient Astronauts or Time Travelers? HuffPo Blogger Gives Just Two Choices

12/4/2013

14 Comments

 
Two topics for today: First, some bizarre news, and then more depressing crap about UFOs and ancient astronauts.

Deadline reported yesterday that the History channel has teamed up with producers of major horror movies to create a new drama series about the “lost years” of Jesus, in which the young adult Savior will battle the forces of darkness in a horror-themed exploration of exorcism. The producers involved are Eli Roth of the Hostel franchise and Eric Newman of The Thing, who both teamed up to produce The Last Exorcism. They will be working with Scott Kosar, who wrote the remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror, and The Crazies. Kosar reportedly came up with the idea for horror-exorcist Jesus.

The New Testament narratives of the life of Jesus contain no explicit discussion of his activities between the ages of 12 and 30, leading to medieval speculation that Jesus traveled to Britain (expanded in modern times to include a Druid education) and to modern speculation that he studied in India, speculation founded on a forgery (the hoaxed “Life of St. Issa” written by Nicholas Notovitch in 1887) and the fictional Akashic Records, allegedly “channeled” by Theosophists from the spirit world.

Kosar based his screenplay on the idea that Jesus would have performed exorcisms in his youth that parallel the many exorcisms listed in the three synoptic Gospels.

I can’t imagine how this project could turn out well, but at least it’s being marketed as fiction.

Now the depressing material on ancient astronauts.

The Huffington Post is one of the most popular destinations on the web, with 74 million unique visitors over the past thirty days, according to Quantcast. That means that its site is seen by nearly 74 times as many people as Ancient Aliens on H2. Therefore, it is disturbing to see the site, which has frequently been criticized for its antiscientific and New Age content, running an article offering a false dichotomy about the ancient astronaut theory and time travel. Studies have repeatedly found that many readers are unable to distinguish between news coverage, journalistic opinion columns, and non-journalist guest opinion columns, and the similar design of news and opinion pages on the Huffington Post makes it still easier to confuse them.

Mystery-mongering internet radio personality Rob Szarek of LiveParanormal.com and a four other fringe science and fringe history online properties posted a blog on HuffPo last night asking whether ancient aliens are in fact really human time travelers from the future. HuffPo does not pay contributors for blog content, and the piece was very obviously written to promote Szarek’s internet radio station, which features programs by a Syfy Fact or Faked host, a pet psychic, a cryptozoologist, and others who profit from declaring mainstream science and history to be a conspiracy to suppress the truth.

Szarek begins by describing the “growing” popularity of the ancient astronaut theory, thanks to Ancient Aliens, and he summarizes the main ancient astronaut arguments: namely, that ancient art is too weird for modern people to understand without appeal to aliens, that buildings with heavy rocks require spaceships to build, and that human DNA is ennobled by sexual contact with extraterrestrial beings. His summary sounds like it says something, but he carefully attributes every statement to an unnamed “some” who think it, absolving himself from having said anything at all.

He continues the trend by “bringing up” the Roswell UFO crash to help make a half-formed case for time travel from the future. Instead of making any assertions, Szarek asks a series of questions, to which he offers no answers, and then uses the questions as the basis for concluding that we should trust George W. Hoover, a deceased Navy commander, that the Roswell spacecraft (which Szarek never bothered to assert actually existed) was in fact a time machine from the future. Szarek leaves out the fact that this claim was made in 2010, while Hoover died in 1998. The claim comes indirectly from Hoover’s son, who shares his name, recalling an alleged conversation he had with his father sometime in the 1960s.

Father and son were immediately confused, and UFO conspiracy theorists announced that the deceased Hoover had “come forward” with tales of time-traveling aliens, claims that the younger Hoover did not actually make. The younger Hoover stated in his first set of claims that his father was “convinced” that the Roswell object was not a balloon, but that he refused to tell his son what it really was. Somehow this turned into time traveling aliens thanks to ufologist and former UFO Hunters star William J. Birnes, who—despite fruitlessly searching for evidence of Roswell for decades—declared that he too had heard this from the elder George Hoover before his death in 1998 and simply decided not to report it for more than a decade because they were “private” and “off the record” conversations about material Hoover Sr. failed to share with his own son. All this, of course, occurred while Birnes was actively telling his viewers and UFO Magazine readers what, if we take this story literally, he knew to be lies about the “truth” behind Roswell.

Szarek fails even the most basic elements of journalism and deceives his readers into thinking that the story attributed to the elder Hoover is well-grounded and independently confirmed. Instead, he takes Birnes’s opportunistic claims as reason to leap to an evidence-free conclusion, which he immediately softens by retreating to the old standby of fringe theorists: it “could” be true, but doesn’t have to be!

Hoover’s story mirrors other stories from some ufologists and many UFO abductees that aliens may have been, and still may be, humans of the future who have found the technology to overcome the limitations of light speed and time travel paradoxes that keep present day humans from breaching the boundaries of time. Their often-humanoid appearance may suggest a link between the way we look today, and what we might look like thousands of years from now. Ancient aliens may, in fact, be future humans. It's a mind-bending idea, but not an entirely impossible one.

I don’t really understand how Szarek moved from ancient astronauts to modern UFO abductions without ever making a connection between the two. Why, for example, did the aliens need “helmets,” as he claims, to breathe in the Bronze Age but somehow can walk around without them in modern times? Why did the aliens fly around in complex, ornate “chariots” in Vedic times but now have sleek, saucer- or triangle-shaped space cruisers? Are the Roswell time travelers the same as the Puma Punku and pyramid builders?

His argument makes no coherent sense unless you already believe that there is a single extraterrestrial (or extra-temporal) phenomenon occurring across time and space, and that ancient people communicated regularly with them but modern governments decided, sometime around the founding of America by Freemasons, to suppress this knowledge in an attempt to preserve religious orthodoxy—the same orthodoxy that somehow emerged and thrived despite the continued and active presence of the same ancient aliens that now threaten it.

But The Huffington Post delivered millions of eyeballs to a blog post promoting Ancient Aliens and other paranormal programs.
This is how ideas leak from the fringe into the mainstream, drip by drip, one page view at a time.

14 Comments
Only Me
12/4/2013 07:20:56 am

Why am I not surprised that good ol' Bill Birnes is involved? He never met an alien or alien-inspired conspiracy story he couldn't subsume and promote.

And the Huffington Post, IMHO, isn't even fit to line a bird cage.

Reply
Shane Sullivan
12/4/2013 07:22:14 am

Eli Roth producing a horror show about Jesus? Eh, if he were playing Jesus, I'd watch.

Reply
Dave Lewis
12/4/2013 12:48:28 pm

Eli Roth couldn't portray a credible Jesus because he's Jewish and everybody knows Jesus was a Christian, right?

So, does that make me dumb enough to be a talking head on Bible Secrets Revealed? They could bill me as Dave Lewis, GED, author of the wikipedia article, "Jesus was a Christian".

Reply
StrongStyleFiction link
12/4/2013 10:40:58 am

If it was Dr. Who, then they would both be right.

Reply
charlie
12/4/2013 02:13:13 pm

I have been baffled by the folks who read Huff & Puff and say it is a "liberal" site. I remember the first time Airhead-Anna (Areanna) {I don't know how to properly spell her name, sorry, and too lazy to look it up.} was in the news. She was (may still be) married to a Michael Huffington who tried to buy a US Senate seat in an election in California. Yes, Mike was a member of the Republican party. His wife was a supposed "true blue conservative Republican also. Now, she is a "liberal standard bearer"? OK, so, maybe a leopard CAN change its spots after all. Still I have had serious doubts about that site since it first hit the net.
Politics aside, much of what is posted there, as was stated above, is not worth using to line a bird cage, nor, for a person who is fond of cats, to line a cat sand box. I do like all animals, even snakes in their place, not in my home. Cats and dogs are the most popular pets for most of us and I like both, but still would rather have a cat.
Ms. Huffington is long past her "sell by" date, and I wonder how much longer her site will keep making money for her.

Reply
The Other J.
12/4/2013 04:41:08 pm

The site will go on for some time yet, if on inertia alone. They've added a video component recently (can't stand it). Arianna Huffington changed her political positions, I believe she jumped ship after the Iraq invasion debacle, so she's a relatively new convert to "liberalism," as it were, but I tend to think her main interest is in liberal markets -- ones she can participate in, and liberals she can sell to.

They have a few token liberal, or at least investigative, journalists who think they're in the Woodward and Bernstein mode, but they don't take up the majority of the column inches. The thing I don't get about people calling it liberal, though, is that a quick perusal of the comments of a political piece usually has more actual liberals finding fault with the piece and calling articles out for sensationalism or a lack of rigor. So the site ends up carrying this "liberal" moniker, because it's called that by others who are more centrist or conservative, but more often than not it serves as a liberal straw man for others to knock around. If more conservatives wanted to distance themselves from the Tea Party, all they'd need to do is write blog posts there about their new diet trends or their favorite yoga pose for vigor in bed. They'd be the new centrists, despite their policy positions.

Reply
Drew
12/5/2013 12:15:09 am

Huffington Post got bought out by AOL a few years back so the site doesn't really need to keep making money for her so much as spread her brand. Of course, if we put our Wolter Hats on, we note that AOL's old logo was a lot like an Eye in the Pyramid which means they were a front for the Illuminati therefore Templars for reasons something something.

Reply
Harry
12/4/2013 04:13:40 pm

This idea sounds suspiciously like a TV movie I once saw in which alien abductors turned out to be future humans trying to find a cure for a plague (hence the medical probes). It is possible, therefore, that this is another example of sci fi and pseudoscience cross-polinating.

Reply
nablator
12/5/2013 02:29:35 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuKV2Z3eYTY

Reply
titus pullo
12/5/2013 05:52:54 am

What's next..John the Baptist Nazi Slayer?

Reply
Varika
12/5/2013 08:26:14 am

Oooh, with his amazing CYBORG BODY from which he can detach his head and it flies around shooting lasers from his eyes?

Reply
Brent
12/6/2013 12:17:02 am

I would watch this movie. It sounds like Zabogar (an amazing piece of cinematic mastery) meets Inglorious Bastards.

Steven
12/6/2013 01:48:33 pm

Oh goody! With any luck some "Christians" will be beheading people in Hollywood for defaming Jesus!

Reply
Only Me
12/6/2013 02:25:30 pm

Not a good idea. I'd be afraid the vacuums in the heads of most in Hollywood would create an immense gravity well, from which no matter and no one would return. Beheadings are off the table.

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    • Miscellaneous Documents >
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      • James Dean's Scrapbook
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      • The Amazing James Dean Hoax!
    • Free Classic Pseudohistory eBooks
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