"Christian Truther" Alleges That Scientists Are Working to Resurrect Nephilim, Summon Demons to Earth
As we approach the holidays, I’d like to put in a pitch for donations to help keep this site running ad-free. At the end of the month, my subscription payments for the premium level services that keep the site ad-free and running smoothly will come due. As most of you know, I don’t make any money off of this website, and I have made the conscious choice to avoid placing advertising on the site, both because it doesn’t make as much money as you’d think and because it makes the user experience significantly worse, which in turn makes the information I provide less effective in reaching audiences. If you can find it in your heart to chip in a few dollars to help offset the costs of my web hosting services, I would be greatly appreciative! As Wikipedia and Firefox like to say, if everyone reading this chipped in just $3 or $5, the fundraising drive would be over instantly!
Meanwhile, to entertain you today, I thought I’d talk about a humorous math joke on Facebook that was unfortunately marred by being terribly sexist. The form of the joke, however, could be applied to just about any subject, and the sexism was entirely the choice of the joke-teller. That said, it dawned on me that it could be profitably rewritten to “prove,” humorously, that advocating fringe history theories is evil. Here’s how it goes:
First, we must state that the production of fringe history requires time, which its practitioners hope to recoup in monetary profit, represented by a multiple of the time spent.
The profit made from fringe history can be expressed, consequently, as the fringe history end product divided by the amount of time required to produce it, since, of course, the more time spent means the less profit made per unit of time worked:
MONEY = FRINGE HISTORY ÷ TIME
Therefore, expressing the same thing differently: FRINGE HISTORY = TIME × MONEY
Second, using the well-known principle of fringe history that folklore and ancient wisdom are indubitably true, we introduce Benjamin Franklin’s dictum from Advice to a Young Tradesman, Written by an Old One that “Time is money.”
Therefore: FRINGE HISTORY = MONEY × MONEY
Or, in other words: FRINGE HISTORY = MONEY²
Now, following the same principle as above, we must agree that “money is the root of all evil” (1 Timothy 6:10, with St. Jerome’s Vulgate translation reading).
Therefore: FRINGE HISTORY = (√EVIL)²
So, we are logically compelled to conclude:
FRINGE HISTORY = EVIL
Before you start writing comments: Of course, it’s a joke and not logically sound, and yes 1 Timothy 6:10 specifies that the love of money is the root of all evil, though that is not how the proverb has since developed. I thought it was amusing enough to share in a non-sexist form, since the original had “girls” where I have “fringe history.” The joke is no more illogical, however, than fringe history claims themselves.
We can all use a laugh, especially after hearing what Christian conservative conspiracy theorists had to say this week. Nate Brown of the Christian Truther website, a conspiracy and fringe history site from a Christian perspective, had weird things to say about the Nephilim. Brown is worried that genetic engineering will allow scientists to resurrect the Nephilim. Brown read the recent reports that scientists were planning to revive extinct species through the use of genetic engineering, and he focused particularly on the use of single skin cells to spur the formation of an embryo with neither egg nor sperm. Brown is particularly concerned because George Church of Harvard Medical School suggested that Neanderthals could be resurrected from DNA extracted from bone samples and injected into a stem cell, which he would inject into a human embryo in order to dehumanize it.
In an ungrammatical conclusion, Brown claims that scientists will use “very, very old and dead skeletons” of the Nephilim to recreate the giants of old: “In reality scientists are set to bring back the Nephilim, what say you reader?”
This isn’t the first time that the Christian Truther has alleged that scientists are working on behalf of Satan. A few months ago, another writer for the same website claimed that CERN’s Large Hadron Collider is “magnetically calling demons from the abyss,” while only days ago Brown himself adopted David Wilcock’s recent and false claim that an antediluvian city is being excavated under Antarctic ice. Both claims come to us through the mediation of the History Channel’s Ancient Aliens, but they have passed through a veil of Christian dogma that transforms aliens into demons and science into magic. Indeed, the CERN article explicitly claims that particle physics is a fraud and is in reality nothing more than the “Egyptian magic” that Moses railed against in the Biblical texts. “This report will expose scientific dogma for the satanic lie that it is and explain the true occult belief system that backs this science from hell.”
The articles are short and of low quality, pure clickbait, but they represent a bit of an evolution among Christian fringe history writers in terms of outright appropriating Ancient Aliens and its ilk for polemical purposes. I guess Christians have their own crappy version of the always awful Ancient Code!
12/19/2016 10:36:41 am
Great joke... well adapted...
12/19/2016 12:56:17 pm
I do like it when people tell Jason what to do.
12/19/2016 10:41:12 am
Donated. Thanks for your work!
12/19/2016 11:35:49 am
I remember hearing the sexist version of that joke as a kid.
12/19/2016 11:48:54 am
It looks like the kind of thing that's been around for a while. I will confess to not researching the joke's origins. Some things I just can't bring myself to care about too much!
12/19/2016 12:29:07 pm
Don't ruin jokes by explaining all the suppositions, especially what the Bible verse really says. The joke was hilarious!
12/19/2016 12:30:15 pm
Donated! Not much, I'm afraid, but hopefully there are many more small donations to come!
12/19/2016 01:10:23 pm
I would have thought that supposedly being christians they might have paid more attention to Chris White's excellent debunking of Ancient Aliens and would not inclined to adopt any of its claims.
12/19/2016 01:18:53 pm
Speaking as a scientist, I want to know how to get involved in the secret Evil Science Magic and Backengineering Alien Technology projects. Is there a website you apply at? Do they have a table at a career fair? Maybe you leave your CV in your library's copy of the Satanic Bible and wait for them to contact you?
12/19/2016 01:19:55 pm
well if I filled out the form correctly there should be a small addition to your Christmas blog stocking for a bigger shovel ... take care and carry forward into the New Year
12/19/2016 02:53:25 pm
Well, according to these same Nephilim obsessed goofballs, women *are* evil. Money, however... Yeah, money's okay, because reasons.
12/19/2016 03:01:51 pm
To believers all reality is the devil's ding-dong.
12/20/2016 12:31:50 am
I'm confused. Why would the scientists resurrect Nephilim when they're still hiding among us?
12/20/2016 01:13:42 am
Those evil scientists need all the Nephilim they can get ahold of if they want to complete their dastardly schemes.
Day Late and Dollar Short
12/20/2016 09:52:00 am
Heck yes I'll support the site. Please continue to do what you do.
12/20/2016 01:14:33 pm
Donated. Thanks for all that you do. Keep up the good work!
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I am an author and researcher focusing on pop culture, science, and history. Bylines: New Republic, Esquire, Slate, etc. There's more about me in the About Jason tab.
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