I certainly hope that no one here reads all of the comments on every blog post I’ve put up over the past three years, but all of them get sent to me and I’ve noticed some trends. Over the past two weeks, for some reason my blog has been inundated with creationists who are exceedingly upset about my posts, particularly about Ancient Aliens. This come as something of a surprise to me since I rarely write much about evolution or cosmology. I am not a biologist or a physicist and can’t really do justice to the finer points of the science. Except for when the ancient astronaut theorists propose alien genetic engineering, it isn’t even relevant to most of what I discuss here, and at any rate I would have thought creationists would oppose ancient astronauts since the ancient astronaut nonsense blatantly contradicts biblical fundamentalism. But I’m wrong. I’ve gotten weird comments from creationists who seem to see ancient astronaut speculators as fellow combatants in the war against Darwin. And then there are the terrible ones who are apparently Christian in everything but the spirit of generosity and goodwill. The following is an edited comment left by a creationists last night, which I have altered to remove vulgar personal attacks, remove racist faux-Ebonics (because, of course, anything one disagrees with must be associated with racial minorities), and to shorten its excessive length. The creationist is reacting to part of my review of Ancient Aliens S04E10 “Aliens and Dinosaurs” where I wrote “Prior to the nineteenth century, people believed in all manner of gigantic, imaginary beasts, not least of which were the biblical Leviathan and Behemoth, which creationists often wrongly call dinosaurs.” Wow, idiot. So no matter how many eyewitnesses tell stories of seeing giant sea creatures, and no matter how much archeological evidence, which includes countless amounts of fossils on dry land masses, including up on the mountains, including those giants found buried on a mountain top, moron Jason the God-hater here just pretends no one’s ever said anything about any extremely large creatures. What an idiot. […] Learn to listen, Jason, instead of convenient[ly] ignoring, like the Ancient Aliens idiots, what doesn’t fit into your feelings-based version of reality. And learn what logical fallacies [are] already, your credit-thieving atheist friends already collected extensive lists for you to read. I don’t really follow this, to be honest. Since when are facts based on feelings? The creatures Leviathan and Behemoth, as described in Job, do not match any known animal, though Behemoth is frequently argued to be inspired by a hippopotamus. Even if you want to identify Behemoth with a dinosaur, this entirely depends on Job 40:17, where the usual translation says his tail sways like a cedar and thus like a sauropod dinosaur. But Stephen Mitchell says this line can also be read as referring to his penis becoming as erect as cedar when seen in combination with the rest of the verse, referencing the creature’s “stones,” which the King James version translated as “thighs” but are otherwise testicles. Since Isaiah 27:1 says that Leviathan is still alive under the sea and will be until Judgment Day, the creationists can prove us all wrong by going out and finding our friend Leviathan. He’s got to be around here somewhere, unless of course the Biblical description is wrong, as fellow creationist Darek Isaacs worried about Revelation’s dragon earlier this week. But even if Leviathan were a real creature, how does that translate into the reality of other “extremely large creatures,” or to such creatures as proof of creationism? Theoretically, there is only one Behemoth and one Leviathan mentioned, and other unrelated creatures would not therefore be proof of these two. Eyewitnesses have indeed seen large sea monsters, which Henry Lee explained more than 120 years ago were usually the result of sightings of whales, narwhals, giant squid, etc.—all of which are very large and very real. Yes, too, fossils of sea monsters have been found “on dry land,” though again these are long-extinct sea creatures whose bones the Greeks and Romans often mistook for more recent monsters. Some ended up on mountaintops due to the uprising of land due to plate tectonics, another science creationists are not fond of. If you don’t believe in geology or paleontology, there isn’t any way to profitably discuss fossil evidence. That, of course, is the whole point: If you are a fundamentalist, you are essentially (if I may blaspheme) enacting the apocryphal reply of the Caliph Omar in response to a question of what to do with the books in the Library of Alexandria: “If these books agree with the Koran, they are useless; if they disagree, they are pernicious: in either case, they ought to be destroyed.” This is the problem with fundamentalist efforts to convince the secular of creationism: They want to appeal to the authority of science, but only selectively, accepting that fossils exist, but not their age; that the bones represent lost species, but not that sequences of such bones display evolution. But such cherry-picking is par for the course among fundamentalists. One-third of Americans claim that they believe the Bible is literally true and must be taken as true word-for-word (and depending on what tradition you belong to, your Bible will have different books in it—which must make for fun times when deciding which truths are true!). Of those Americans, virtually none actually lives by that claim. Otherwise we would hardly have a stitch of clothing left in America, thanks to the ubiquitous cotton-poly blend (Leviticus 19:19), nor would newspapers be littered with the horoscopes that nearly one third of Americans believe to be true (Leviticus 19:26), nor hotel conference rooms jammed with psychics helping good Christian men and women talk to their dead relatives (Leviticus 19:31). Let me say this to the creationists complaining on my blog that I hate God, am cursed by God, or am otherwise hellbound: Follow the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:5-6 literally: When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. Otherwise, if you feel compelled to pray about my debunking of ancient astronauts in public, you are welcome to call up Michael Cremo, who also hates evolution as much as you do, and you can debate whether Yahweh or Krishna is behind it all, since Cremo is a Vedic (Hindu) creationist and also supports Ancient Aliens. He believes evolution is a conspiracy foisted upon the Hindus to perpetuate British rule in India. Oh, right: Cremo also believes humans are millions or billions of years old. You’ll have to work out between yourselves how he uses the exact same evidence as you to reject young earth creationism and instead argue for an earth (and humankind) many, many times older than modern science suggests.
He is far more dangerous than I since he had major media coverage, popular books, and influence among the ancient astronaut-alternative history crowd. Have fun with that one.
18 Comments
Tara Jordan
8/17/2013 08:13:12 am
Today,Creationism is essentially the product of Evangelical Protestantism (not even real Christians).According to the Catholic Church & the Vatican,there is no conflict between Christianity and the theory of evolution.Catholics went as far as creating a new concept which reconciles the scientific explanation to the Origin of Species & theology(Theistic evolution).The Evangelicals are swimming at the bottom of the gene pool,& are considered heretical by traditionalists.We shouldn't waste our time with these obscurantists.Evangelical Protestantism is to Christianity what Salafism & Wahabism are to Islam.
Reply
8/17/2013 12:14:23 pm
The entity we call young-earth creationism (YEC) is actually not so much a product of evangelicalism but of Seventh-Day Adventism. That history is well demonstrated by Ronald Numbers in the book "The Creationists." So, when you run into a YEC, call them a heretic and an Adventist. I wonder if that will work better than throwing fossils around, a la Lewis Black : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKA1UNAu-dc
Reply
Tara Jordan
8/17/2013 06:03:05 pm
Seventh-Day Adventism is a Protestant denomination & Protestantism is a refuge for individuals who express anti social behavior & quasi insane belief systems(creationism,speaking in tongues,snake handling,faith healing.televangelism,megachurch movement etc...).I am atheist but religious people do not bother me as long as they keep their spirituality for themselves.When they try to force their lunacy upon the rest of us & on secular society, I feel I have to react,but usually I am pretty tolerant. I consider they have the right to believe whatever they want.For me,the Ancient Aliens crowd,the new agers,the alternative history aficionados are far more dangerous.They are infecting the very fabric of modern societies,perverting the essence of intelligence & polluting the minds of millions individuals with pseudo scientific-historical garbage.A secular society can deal with religious interferences,there is an extensive corpus of laws that regulates & prevents organized religions from meddling with the State.There is no defensive system to prevent societies from being contaminated with pseudo science & fake science.Scott Wolter is far more dangerous than Pat Robertson...
Clint Knapp
8/17/2013 09:36:22 am
Growing up I was made to attend a Baptist church and the pastor was not a fan of my interest in paleontology and myth. In an attempt to sway me from this obviously heretical course a book outlining how dinosaurs and man had always lived together was lent to me. I read it, and even at 11 years old I knew it was a bunch of rubbish.
Reply
The Other J.
8/19/2013 10:46:13 pm
"Creationists, AA talking heads, conspiracy theorists, alien abduction "survivors", and our good friends the historical revisionists all seem to share the same fundamental personality traits, and as we see all to often one typically overflows into the other."
Reply
kennethos
8/17/2013 09:57:51 am
Jason, welcome to the fringe of creation that those of us holding to special, divine creation of the natural order, have to deal with!
Reply
Dave Lewis
8/17/2013 02:02:19 pm
I wish I could express my opinions more eloquently like others who post here.
Reply
kennethos
8/17/2013 05:04:40 pm
@Dave:
Reply
Dave Lewis
8/19/2013 05:22:26 pm
I enjoy reading Mike Heiser's blog daily.
Dave Lewis
8/17/2013 02:21:05 pm
I recently read an article entitled JEWISH AND CHRISTIAN ASTROLOGY IN LATE ANTIQUITY - A NEW APPROACH by Kocku von Stuckrad in Numen: International Review for the History of Religions, 2000, Vol. 47 Issue 1. The author gives his opinion on how astrology came to be understood by Jewish and Christian monotheists.
Reply
Uncle Ron
8/17/2013 02:40:06 pm
Today's newspaper (yes, I still read stuff printed on paper) contains a review of the new book "Zealot", a biography of Jesus Christ, by Reza Aslan. The review written by Lesley Hazelton of the San Francisco Chronicle contains the following:
Reply
Fortunately, not all Christians are crackpots like those who call themselves "creationists". I've posted on my blog before about how these people have commandeered the term "creationist" and turned it into some perverse caricature of the truth.
Reply
varika
8/18/2013 02:35:57 pm
I've always loved this quote from Robert Heinlein: "There is no conclusive proof of life after death. But there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know--so why fret about it?" It seems pertinent to this discussion. ;-)
Reply
Tara Jordan
8/18/2013 03:59:43 pm
Varika.I am quite confused.As a "Pagan" how can you can reconcile your own religious beliefs with scientific materialism?.
Only Me
8/19/2013 12:09:20 am
Let me preface this by saying I was bored. I checked out the comments on some of the AA reviews following the release of this post....holy deep-fried pork butts. I didn't know you could both feel and hear your own brain cells dying, until I read those comments.
Reply
The Other J.
8/19/2013 10:12:54 pm
"I felt a great disturbance in the Brain, as if millions of neurons suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."
Reply
Only Me
8/20/2013 03:12:01 am
Ha! I see that "wit is strong with this one." Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorI am an author and researcher focusing on pop culture, science, and history. Bylines: New Republic, Esquire, Slate, etc. There's more about me in the About Jason tab. Newsletters
Enter your email below to subscribe to my newsletter for updates on my latest projects, blog posts, and activities, and subscribe to Culture & Curiosities, my Substack newsletter.
Categories
All
Terms & ConditionsPlease read all applicable terms and conditions before posting a comment on this blog. Posting a comment constitutes your agreement to abide by the terms and conditions linked herein.
Archives
November 2024
|