Evangelicals Hold Infomercial to Accuse Catholics and Nazis of Secretly Using Nephilim to Control the World
I think that Ancient Aliens has had a lot more influence in crazy culture than it might seem. Yesterday, con artist preacher Jim Bakker devoted yet another hour of his program to an infomercial for the evangelical answer to Ancient Aliens, and filmmaker Tony Alberino specifically identified his DVDs about ancient history as containing information that the History Channel won’t tell you, specifically that cyclopean architecture the world over is “pre-Flood construction” that was “built by a hybrid race.” He then went on to discuss Ancient Aliens specifically:
Some of you have probably seen the Ancient Aliens series that’s on—I don’t know if it’s on the History Channel, the Discovery Channel—but there’s many programs coming out now dealing with this topic, but what they’re not doing is they’re not telling you the whole truth. They’re just telling you part of the truth because the whole truth is contained within the pages of scripture.
This is a very telling statement because it shows that the increasing Evangelical obsession with giants and antediluvian civilization is building directly on Ancient Aliens because the Evangelicals believe that they can use popular culture to drive people to their fundraising—er, “love offering”… no, ministry. The sincerity of their desire to save souls through fringe history might come across more seriously if the program did not constantly assert that the “truth” is available for a “love offering” of just $30 or $120. Even L. A. Marzulli only charges $19.95 to blast you with quasi-Christian fakery.
Albertino is working with Steve Quayle to create a series of DVDs called True Legends, in which the pair assert that the Smithsonian Institution and the Vatican are conspiring to hide the bones of giants. Quayle is also promoting his new book, Empire Beneath the Ice, about the imaginary Nazi Antarctic Nephilim research station. Yes, the creaky old ufology and ancient astronaut obsession has been Christianized, and the otherworldly entities that ancient astronaut theorists Jacques Bergier and Louis Pauwels suggested were in league with Hitler have now become literal demons.
“This is crazy stuff!” Bakker said, before realizing that he accidentally spoke some truth. He immediately backed off and praised Quayle for revealing that the Nazis actually won World War II with the help of Fallen Angels.
Maybe someday we’ll get a debate between Nephilim theorists and ancient astronaut theorists on whether otherworldly beings are really Fallen Angels or space aliens.
Quayle repeats the story we just heard in L. A. Marzulli’s Watchers X that the U.S. military encountered a 12-foot-tall giant in Afghanistan a decade ago.
Bakker informs his audience that they should have “your kids and your teenagers” study fringe history and conspiracy theories in order to learn the truth about giants. Albertino believes that a network of institutions—all connected to the Vatican—are working to cover up historical truth about lost civilizations, Fallen Angels, and giants. He claims that the Catholic Church is trying to conceal the truth about history in order to prevent people from learning about the coming Apocalypse and the return of the Nephilim.
“You cannot really understand the prophetic future,” Albertino said, “unless you understand the prehistoric past.”
Bakker concurred, adding that the world will become again as it was in the days of Noah, and thus meaning that the Giants would walk the earth again. He is speaking here of Jesus’ words in Matthew 24:37-39:
But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.
Most mainstream scholars believe that Jesus meant that people would not be aware of the coming judgment, just as they were not aware of the coming Flood. Our crew, however, believe that the passage means that history will literally repeat itself, with rampaging giants and wild angel-on-human sex.
If all of this sounds familiar, it’s because this is Quayle’s usual shtick. He’s been telling the same stories and making the same claims for years now, often in the same words. In that, he proved that he has internalized the most important lesson of Ancient Aliens: Don’t ever come up with something new when you can recycle and resell the same old stuff.
7/20/2016 11:22:24 am
“This is crazy stuff!”
7/20/2016 11:50:31 am
"the Nazis actually won World War II with the help of Fallen Angels"
7/20/2016 11:58:51 am
I wonder if the USSR did not collapse and they won the Cold War as well, you know, with the help of fallen angels and giants.
7/20/2016 12:52:01 pm
Does that mean South Vietnam won the Vietnam War?
7/20/2016 12:58:46 pm
That might just be the case, which means we probably also lost in Korea.
7/20/2016 03:29:55 pm
Now we realize that it was the Royalists (with the help of the Vatican, naturally) who won the English Civil War. So they could keep covering up evidence of Nephilim at Stonehenge, of course.
7/20/2016 07:57:10 pm
But most importantly, the South won the Civil War!
7/20/2016 10:38:34 pm
This is wonderfully handy. The 49ers actually won the Super Bowl after all, with the help of fallen angels....
7/25/2016 03:02:16 am
I'm pretty sure Vietnam actually did win the Vietnam War.
7/20/2016 11:56:39 am
Jim learned his lesson well.
7/20/2016 12:42:20 pm
I will make an offering to him of my Love, for whatever that is worth. However, I draw the line at offering him actual money. I figure that if I offered him money, he would use it to purchase "love" at the current going rate from Wilma's house of pleasure.
7/20/2016 12:59:34 pm
The rates have gone up since the 1980s, so he needs all love offerings people can supply.
7/20/2016 01:31:17 pm
I KNOW that it's useless to point out these little contradictions to Fringe-types, but if the Bible is THE WORD and contains EVERYTHING about history from the moment of Creation, how can there be a "prehistoric past" to learn from, given that "prehistoric" means "before recorded history?"
7/20/2016 01:36:50 pm
And how can Neanderthals have lived in caves that were carved out of sediments laid down by the Flood?
7/20/2016 02:42:09 pm
Are the Smithsonian archaeologists considered to be one of our government's conspiracies, or are they papist pawns that work independent of our government?
7/20/2016 02:47:34 pm
The answer is...yes. That's the beauty of conspiracy theories; they can be altered to fit the specific audience yet remain "true".
7/20/2016 03:47:43 pm
Just say the magic word "Bilderberg" and any apparent paradox disappears.
7/21/2016 09:49:26 pm
I've got it, I've got it! They're papist pawns who have independently INFILTRATED our government in order to cause the conspiracy.
7/20/2016 07:05:34 pm
If he was sincerely wanting to put a Christian alternative to ancient aliens out there, he'd slide me some money at ancient aliens debunked.
7/21/2016 01:07:12 am
i can't think of any difference between fringe history, fringe astronomy, religion,and all other fringe items. if the term "fringe religion" were ever used, it would be redundant. it makes no sense to me to discredit fringe crazy people and then attend your places of worship.
7/21/2016 07:45:14 am
Fringe history, fringe astronomy and other fringe items should not be equated with religion. "Fringe items" are a perversion of science. Religion is a structure of beliefs that nurture the emotional and spiritual aspects of humans. Science and religion can exist simultaneously. And you can accept one or the other, neither or both. Some religions embrace reason and science as an article of their faith, and denying the scientific method and it's results is, in fact, unfaithful.
7/21/2016 10:54:35 am
With all due respect, Kathleen, "a structure of beliefs that nurture the emotional and spiritual aspects of humans" applies to fringe beliefs and their believers (although not to the hucksters who prey on them) as much as to religion. The difference is WHICH emotional and spiritual aspects are nurtured; and given the egregious behavior that has been justified throughout history in the name of religion, and continues to be to this day, religion can't claim the high ground. The similarities of religious and fringe belief - to their respective adherents - have been illustrated repeatedly on these pages.
7/21/2016 11:41:00 am
sorry, kathleen, i just can't buy into your explanation.
7/21/2016 11:58:27 am
Thanks Uncle Ron, you make good points. I'll have to think about what I was trying to express. I agree with much of your post.
7/21/2016 12:04:29 pm
Sorry orang, I didn't do a good job of expressing myself. Please don't take any offense.
7/21/2016 12:38:56 pm
I believe in a perversion
7/21/2016 04:28:16 pm
Oh my! So many Kathleens, so little time!
7/21/2016 10:17:44 pm
It's one thing to post under a variety of pseudonyms to create the illusion that you are one of a group of like minded individuals (when you are, in fact, a single troll). It's an entirely other thing to post under another's pseudonym (Kathleen's) to subvert their sincere contributions to the discussion.
7/21/2016 10:10:45 pm
Orang, "fringe" means "not mainstream." Ergo, whatever the mainstream religion(s) are, there can still be "fringe religions." The state of their craziness really isn't applicable.
7/22/2016 07:05:06 am
That was quite a good display of your limited ordinary thinking, V.
7/21/2016 01:49:33 am
Or you could buy The Mountains of Madness audio drama from the HPL Historical society, $12, or $20 with props. Higher production values, guaranteed!
7/21/2016 12:36:18 pm
The so-called "historical" Christ is an air-drawn fabric and the figment of a religious imagination, The original Jesus Christ was incorporeal and the resurrection from the dead is the psychedelic drug experience. Jesus Christ is a deity that is consumed by his believers in the ceremony of the mass.
7/21/2016 04:22:43 pm
Jason, where are you with your delete key for off-topic rants from Time Machine?
An Over-Educated Grunt
7/21/2016 04:52:42 pm
This is actually a massively condensed version of a 30-odd-long thread. It still relies on bad logic ("well if theologians can't explain this passage I must be right!") but it's more cogent than anything else we've gotten.
7/22/2016 06:49:00 am
No, it is not "bad logic"
7/22/2016 06:54:56 am
Clete, this was not an "Off-topic rant"
An Over-Educated Grunt
7/22/2016 07:36:26 am
I gave a rant, huh? Kind of like your tightly reasoned argument that every politician everywhere at all times was a mason?
7/22/2016 07:40:36 am
What's the problem - can't stop repeating the fact that George Washington laid the cornerstone of the House of Congress in the form of a Masonic ceremony on 18 September 1793 and that American society following its independence exists on Masonic values?
7/22/2016 07:10:19 am
Let me guess. Only Me, V, Clint Knapp, Kathleen and possibly some others sent PMs to Jason Colavito to delete my messages.
7/22/2016 08:38:11 am
No need to tattle, Jason is able to see when you have gone too far. But he has moved on. So have I. So should you.
7/22/2016 10:20:27 am
An Over-Educated Grunt
7/22/2016 08:45:34 am
No... mostly you're just really terrible at this game.
7/22/2016 10:21:47 am
No, Time Machine, just no.
7/22/2016 10:25:33 am
Show one example from Christian texts of the first century giving a reference to the Second Coming.
An Over-Educated Grunt
7/22/2016 10:35:44 am
Supply one unambiguous example of drug Jesus that is exegesis and not eisgesis.
7/22/2016 10:40:12 am
I rest my case in relation to Only Me.
7/22/2016 10:44:37 am
Both the Old and New Testaments operate on two different levels.
7/22/2016 10:46:09 am
Show one example of your core argument that isn't dependent on the work of the same scholars you accuse of incompetence.
An Over-Educated Grunt
7/22/2016 10:49:50 am
How am I supposed to take your arguments seriously when you don't understand what "I rest my case" means?
7/22/2016 12:00:00 pm
No mainstream scholar anywhere can justify their claim that a reference to the Second Coming exists in a first century text.
7/22/2016 12:17:41 pm
And you can't justify your drug-based theory, as you have never offered any proof...that you claim to have.
7/22/2016 01:35:07 pm
Of course there's proof.
An Over-Educated Grunt
7/22/2016 01:41:25 pm
Which have existed, unchanged and inerrant, with no linguistic drift, no mis-translation, no propagated transcription errors, no palimpsests, for all of recorded history. Uh huh.
7/22/2016 01:46:52 pm
But your proof hinges on your words: "I believe." You have no proof that has been accepted by science.
7/22/2016 01:53:50 pm
"was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell."
An Over-Educated Grunt
7/22/2016 02:00:18 pm
So you're saying that George Lucas is a drug prophet coding secret messages into Star Wars?
7/22/2016 03:22:02 pm
"Banal and mundane experiences recognised the world over by drug takers, ethno botanists and psychologists."
7/22/2016 04:21:01 pm
Sure psychologists are riddled with quacks and charlatans.
7/22/2016 04:33:21 pm
And we're back to changing the topic again. I'll just leave this here:
7/22/2016 06:36:18 pm
terry the censor
7/24/2016 10:56:16 pm
In university in the late '80s, a friend and I did a weekly humor show on student radio. Half scripted, half improvised. One of our semi-regular features was a dramatic reading from a less-than-holy book. One of our favourites was "Move That Mountain" by Jim Bakker. All he writes about is putting together a TV studio. It's absurdly unspiritual. So we'd hit the "record" button on the tape machine, my friend would use the "church organ" setting on his keyboard, and I would open the book at random and read aloud, adding or changing text to fit with Bakker's various scandals.
7/25/2016 02:27:01 am
That's a tough one to call. Just look at all the memes with a person/character mimicking Giorgio Tsoukalos with "Aliens" beneath them. I suppose one could argue most of these guys are parodies themselves.
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I am an author and researcher focusing on pop culture, science, and history. Bylines: New Republic, Esquire, Slate, etc. There's more about me in the About Jason tab.
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