Great Moments in Ancient Astronautics: Santa Is an Alien Robot

As we prepare for the imminent return of Ancient Aliens this Friday, let's look at another of the ancient astronaut theory's most outrageous claims. Today's Great Moment in Ancient Astronautics comes from Bruce Rux's 1996 book Architects of the Underworld: Unriddling Atlantis, Anomalies of Mars, and the Mystery of the Sphinx. Rux is a former actor, a follower of Zecharia Sitchin, and a conspiracy theorist who believes that Hollywood uses movies and TV shows about UFOs to aid the government in covering up alien visitation now and in the past, as detailed in his book Hollywood vs. the Aliens (1998). He also believes that ancient astronauts and current “grey” aliens are in fact robots sent by the real aliens from their home planet.

According to Rux, references to the Underworld in ancient mythology are code for the planet Mars. His evidence is that the Underworld is usually thought of as laying in the far west and is associated with the color red: “Since ‘sea’ or ‘ocean’ can also mean ‘[outer] space,’ and there is no up or down in space, it is certainly possible that this Underworld is actually beneath the earth—another planet” (364). Since the Underworld’s color is red (usually thought to represent the sunset), this planet must be the Red Planet, Mars.

The aliens’ robots, who appeared to ancient humans as gods, created the doctrine of the bodily resurrection of the dead because they engaged in cloning and took tissue samples into deep space for cloning (since bodily transport requires too much fuel), an idea proposed by Erich von Daniken in the 1970s and developed by Alan Landsburg extensively in The Outer Space Connection, the book that claimed aliens would come back for the clones on Christmas Eve 2011.

By Rux’s analysis, the color red is closely associated with white and black in alien cosmology, so therefore, such figures as (and I am not making this up) the Red Cross (red symbol on a white background), the country of Japan (red sun disc on a white flag), Easter Island’s statues (which once wore red hats), and Santa Claus (because of his clothes) are all part of the aliens’ secret plans directed from their Martian base.

Yes, you heard it right: the Red Cross, Japan, Easter Island, and Santa Claus are all part of an alien conspiracy overseen by the U.S. government, a secret guarded so carefully that only someone as clever as Bruce Rux was able to identify it.

So I guess that’s where Futurama got its evil robot Santa idea. No, wait… wouldn’t that be part of the conspiracy from Hollywood vs. the Aliens? My God, the aliens have gotten to Bruce Rux! His theory is actually helping the conspiracy! He must be one of Them!