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I Didn't Get the Ancient History Show Hosting Gig

11/14/2014

39 Comments

 
My website and my email address are my name, so I’ve always wondered how people can confuse me for the stars of the History Channel. I’ve had people mistake me for Giorgio Tsoukalos and Scott Wolter, but today was a first: I received my first email mistaking me for Jim Vieira! The confused letter-writer asked Jim to look into a particular “giant” report from her hometown that she remembered from Coast to Coast AM years ago because she’s infuriated that the government is “burying” the truth about a case she could find no more information about. She thanked Vieira for his TV show and concluded: “I appreciate the work you are doing. It must be great to do something you love.”
Sadly, that was much more pleasant that the rest of the past 24 hours. After posting my review of Paul Roland’s Curious Case of H. P. Lovecraft, I received a sternly worded note from the publisher of the book, Plexus, which I am now ethically bound to disclose, in which the company expressed its displeasure that I “felt” I had to acknowledge our prior correspondence in my review. The company feels that I misrepresented our email exchange and requested that I remove the final four paragraphs of my review or modify them to acknowledge that Plexus at no time attempted to influence my review. (I did not think I had implied that they did.) They also felt it was unfair of me to describe the message Paul Roland sent to me via the publisher as “unsolicited contact” because Roland did not directly communicate with me but sent the message through a third party. I explained to Plexus that they did nothing wrong, but that in America it is conventional for reviewers to avoid contact of any kind with the authors they review before their reviews are published. (For example, I wrote and submitted my review of Scott Sigler’s Ancestor prior to interviewing him about the book so that there would be no potential influence, even though the two pieces ran side by side.) However, due to Britain’s notorious libel laws, there isn’t a lot I can do, so I have reluctantly added a disclaimer to the review clarifying that Plexus did not behave unethically.

So, while I am pissing people off, I might as well go all in: Yesterday I had a telephone audition with Left/Right Productions for a television program on ancient ingenuity that a casting director for the production company had contacted me about earlier in the week. According to the production company, H2 is looking for a new flagship series with a dynamic host who can become the “face” of the network. The production company wants to provide them with that face. (I guess that means that Scott Wolter and Giorgio Tsoukalos will see their stars dim.) It was the shortest audition I’ve ever had. The audition lasted a total of 3 minutes. Needless to say, I will not be getting the job.

The casting associate I spoke with told me that the production company is planning to pitch a new series to the H2 network with the concept of looking at ancient achievements in engineering, science, etc. in order to explore and discover how they were done. I’m sure you can already see two reasons that this would not result in a TV program for me, even before the casting associate suggested that aliens and Atlantis might be an explanation for ancient genius on their show, “where relevant.”

My first question was to ask how their proposed program differs from Ancient Impossible, which already airs on H2, but hails from a different production company. According to the casting associate, she had no idea and wasn’t familiar with Ancient Impossible. I also asked the casting associate if the production company had done any research on me at all, such as reading anything on my website. No, they had not, and the flattering email about how much they enjoyed my work wasn’t based on actually reviewing any large amount of my work. Neither she personally nor the production team were aware that I review H2 shows, that I am critical of them, or that A+E Networks threatened to sue me last year on behalf of H2 star Scott Wolter’s alleged intellectual property. Obviously, I’m not hiding any of this, and I felt it was important to disclose the information before spending hours or weeks waiting for them to discover it.

The moment I mentioned my past interaction with A+E Networks, the casting associate’s tone changed, and she hustled me off the phone in less than 30 seconds without even the cursory “we’ll be in touch.” But just to avoid lawsuits: She acted professionally the entire time and way pleasant on the phone.

It’s one of the ironies of my position that the only reason I am getting inquiries from television shows is because I write reviews of current fringe history programs, the most popular feature on my website and the engine that drives traffic to me. At the same time, being critical of corporate products also disqualifies me from producing other products for those same corporations. This creates a perverse incentive to lie for cash in order to get in the good graces of amoral corporations that honestly could not care whether their documentaries are good or true so long as they make money. And the programs that make money do so because of the choices these same corporations make about what to show and how to market it. In other words, their patronage of crazy ideas creates a mutually reinforcing network of crazy ideas that in turn generates larger audiences for those ideas from people who see the ideas on TV and come to accept them, at least until fatigue sets in and the merry-go-round stops, as it largely has for ghost-themed shows.

My talent apparently is for killing TV shows and segments. I’m the Ted McGinley of fringe TV. After talking with me, Destination America decided not to go ahead with their archaeology documentary series. After the Science Channel talked with me about a documentary on the alleged Smithsonian conspiracy to cover up giants, they seem to have dropped that segment. I’ve also had segments involving me killed on National Geographic, History, History Canada, ITV, and the BBC. Now it looks like the “ancient ingenuity” series will be undergoing some retooling to make it different from Ancient Impossible.

Finally, there is this: If H2 really is looking to find a new face for their network, then Scott Wolter better make good use of all the government-funded goodies he’s currently getting. For a man who claims that the United States government, as well as parts of the Minnesota government, are actively trying to destroy his career, he isn’t shy about using government-funded forums. According to an article from KEYC-TV, the Minnesota Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund, paid for by Minnesota tax dollars to promote “high-quality arts experiences,” paid the Blue Earth County Library System to bring Scott Wolter to the Verizon Wireless Center in Mankato last night to give a talk about his fringe theories and promote his television show. Hilariously, the article (attributed to anchor Mitch Keegan but taken verbatim from a notice on the county website, which is not accessible as of this writing but visible on page 8 of this newsletter) describes Wolter as a “world renowned forensic geologist” and the inventor of “a new science called archaeopetrography.”

The justification for Wolter’s visit was that he is prima facie credible because he’s on TV. Didn’t Blue Earth County get the memo that there’s a conspiracy to suppress the truth?

So, what I’ve learned over the past day is simple: To succeed, I need to lie through my teeth, embrace hypocrisy, withhold as much information as I can get away with to make myself look good, offer praise to our corporate masters, accuse everyone of conspiring against me, and treat the audience like children who can’t be trusted with all the facts. It’s a guaranteed path to success!
39 Comments
EP
11/14/2014 06:16:57 am

This, in a nutshell, is why I'm Jason's fan.

Reply
Brent
11/19/2014 08:04:38 am

Word.

Reply
Rev. Phil Gotsch
11/19/2014 03:58:30 pm

Wired.

Clint Knapp
11/14/2014 06:23:46 am

Well, I wish I could say I was surprised and sorry for the loss of your chance to host a show, but I think we all understand it was just a pipe dream anyway. It'll never cease to be entertaining how these production companies, and the occasional misguided fans, can be so utterly dense as to who you are and what you do, though.

I can only speak for myself, but I'm sure others will agree, when I say there are at least some of us out here who enjoy and appreciate your work for what it really is.

It's a goddamn shame the people in charge of these networks and production companies would rather spend so much time and money on lie peddling and so little on the actual history or truth of the stories they espouse. One could almost make the argument that there really is a conspiracy to suppress the truth in media, if one weren't acutely aware of just how oblivious these people really are to what's true and what's fantasy.

Reply
Only Me
11/14/2014 06:35:46 am

"For a man who claims that the United States government, as well as parts of the Minnesota government, are actively trying to destroy his career, he isn’t shy about using government-funded forums."

But, Jason, Scott Wolter is "99.5% honest in his dealings and relationships"! ;)

On a more serious note, you've earned my respect. You understand the fuel that drives the woo machine is money, but you're unwilling to compromise your principles for your share of the fuel. You're representative of what's becoming a rare breed.

This whole affair reminds me of Pandora's Box. The craziness of fringe ideas have been unleashed, but the one thing of value, truth, was left in the box. Keep prying open the lid, so everyone can get a peek at what's inside.

Reply
EP
11/14/2014 06:40:27 am

TRUTH AND THE TRAVELLER (Aesop)

A man travelling in a desert met a Woman.

"Who art thou?" asked the Man, "and why dost thou dwell in this
dreadful place?"

"My name," replied the Woman, "is Truth; and I live in the desert
in order to be near my worshippers when they are driven from among
their fellows. They all come, sooner or later."

"Well," said the Man, looking about, "the country doesn't seem to
be very thickly settled here."

Reply
Only Me
11/14/2014 07:16:04 am

Raw ass dose of reality right there.

EP
11/14/2014 07:39:29 am

Aesop is one of the top ten literary badasses of the ancient world. Though certainly ranking below, say, Hesiod or my current obsession, Enheduanna. (Look her up; she be like: "I just composed hymns for all the Mesopotamian cults, systematizing the mythos of our civilization in the process. Ain't no thing. Oh, and I also invented devotional poetry just so I could bring divine wrath down on my political enemies.")

CFC
11/15/2014 04:32:36 am

Only Me wrote: "This whole affair reminds me of Pandora's Box. The craziness of fringe ideas have been unleashed, but the one thing of value, truth, was left in the box. Keep prying open the lid, so everyone can get a peek at what's inside."

The Daily Show's John Stewart in an interview with Charlie Rose about his new film, Rosewater said "the cure for ignorance is great journalism".

Cable television and particularly, A&E - History, H2 and their group of independent producers are in the business of exploiting ignorance. Jason and his outstanding journalism is the cure.
Keep seeking and writing the truth Jason.

Reply
Harris
11/14/2014 07:29:34 am

http://www.mixcloud.com/KTOE/11-12-14-scott-wolter-interview/

Here is an interview Wolter had on local Mankato radio, note the "there people who have dedicated websites and blog sites to attacking everything we do" "they really can't punch holes in the evidence, so they go after the messenger." I attended since it was free, and also noted the discrepancy of using Minnesota arts and culture money while disparaging the MHS and Smithsonian so strongly. Basically everything was from his latest book, including the hidden oreo secrets, but it is true he is a very engaging speaker, easy to see why libraries invite him; he attracted an audience of around 150-200, pretty respectable numbers for this type of author event.

Reply
EP
11/14/2014 07:33:07 am

He's right, you know. You can't punch holes in something that doesn't exist :)

Reply
Only Me
11/14/2014 08:15:17 am

Scott's still complaining about "dedicated websites and blog sites...attacking everything we do"? This from the man who explicitly attacks government, the Smithsonian Institute, academia and his critics during his radio interviews, podcasts and on his show.

A word of advice, Scott: When you throw the first punch, you don't get to whine like a bitch when you're losing the fight.

Reply
Jason Colavito link
11/14/2014 09:11:46 am

It must irk him that my website is not actually "dedicated" to attacking him but treats him alongside the entire circus of fringe history, from ancient astronauts to Afrocentrism to gigantology.

EP
11/14/2014 09:13:50 am

Though it could use more Afrocentrism, I my opinion :P

Only Me
11/14/2014 10:57:56 am

I suppose, in his mind, his inclusion in such "august" company is enough to constitute dedication.

Clete
11/14/2014 07:52:48 am

Look on the bright side. TLC recently cancelled "Honey Boo Boo". I am sure that if you lived in a trailer and exploited your children you would be contacted about a replacement for that show.

Reply
John Dunham
11/14/2014 08:01:27 am

As someone who is accused of shilling all of the time I know how hard it is to promote facts over the "generally understood" fictions that abound in the world.

I still believe that there is enough truly interesting stuff out there that is real - and quite mysterious - Hashima Island in Japan, coral castle in Florida, Mesa Verde in Colorado, Easter Island.

You dont need to bring in giants, aliens or atlantis to make a place or a ruin and the story behind it interesting.

hat makes America Unearthed interesting is not Wolter - he's actually pretty boring - but the interesting places that they go to.

Is the Newport Tower ancient? I don't know im not an archaeologist, but i know its interesting with or without a conspiracy theory.

Come up with a real show that looks at real stuff and it will have a larger audience than a nut suggesting that the freaking Knights Templer built everything in the country.

Reply
PaulN. link
11/14/2014 09:36:00 am

For those of us who grew up in the 1950's&60's, it was Bill Burrud who epitomized this form of television. He coined the 'Traventure' for his travelogues and adventures. With a photogenic face and smooth narrative style he would take us on adventures that might be light on facts but full of great photography (well for 1950's black and white television).
One of my favorites was Treasure. This set pf programs covered everything form looking for lost gold mines in Death Valley, to the Lost Dutchman Mine and many others. Even one on Oak Island and another on the search for the Holy Grail.
So it would seem that nothing really changes, they just slap on a new coat of paint, give it a new title and see if ti still flies.

Reply
.
11/14/2014 09:46:15 am

true...

Kal
11/14/2014 09:57:34 am

I was going to quote Star Wars and say, 'It's a trap!' but clearly it wasn't, just merely a big executive who claimed not to know the blogs you post, which they did, they just didn't think they'd make money. They wouldn't have called you if they didn't know exactly who you were. Go work for another network. Then years later they might make you an offer.

Reply
Shane Sullivan
11/14/2014 11:12:05 am

I should audition. I've been told I have a voice for radio, but that my mannerisms are "exhausting", "suspicious", and "like a character from a Coen brothers movie".

I may not be a real-life Indiana Jones, but I think I can pull off a convicing real-life Barton Fink.

But this truth-versus-entertainment thing reminds me of several years ago, when a certain mixed martial arts match--I think it was one of Nate Marquardt's--was proclaimed by the promoters to be "too technical" to headline, or to air on the telecast. I wish I remembered more of the details, as I can't even recall whether it was announced before or after the fight, but the long and short was that the promoters identified "technical" with "boring"; much like history, combat sports are apparently only marketable when done badly. I remember journalist Josh Gross found that just as distasteful and disturbing as you find this.

Reply
Fr. Jack Ashcraft link
11/14/2014 12:17:44 pm

These production companies are quite interesting. When you don't say what they want to hear (essentially the lies you mentioned in your closing comments, Jason), they tend to drop you like a hot rock. I've been there myself with two production companies. Apparently not finding demons under every doorstep and insisting on psychological and medical evaluations of claimants doesn't sit well with fringe programming. It isn't simply a problem with networks, but the companies producing such tripe, as well as a viewership more interested in entertainment (even if complete fiction) than substantive investigation. Excellent blog post, Jason.

Reply
Intelligentheating
11/14/2014 01:07:32 pm

"So, what I’ve learned over the past day is simple: To succeed, I need to lie through my teeth, embrace hypocrisy, withhold as much information as I can get away with to make myself look good..."

BBC2 have done some good shows in the past debunking fringe history. I remember they did a show called "History of a Mystery" where they took apart the Tomb of God book which came out in the 90's.
It featured the art historian Martin Kemp and another historian whose name escapes me.
At any rate, this other historian essentially said that he saw pseudo history become ever more popular at the expense of proper research.

It's a shame they don't commission a few more shows like this!

Reply
Mark L
11/16/2014 09:09:07 pm

They did a fantastic program dismantling Graham Hancock's nonsense, as well. I think he sued them over some incredibly minor mistake, won, and was allowed to then say he'd sued the BBC to shut up about him.

Reply
Only Me
11/15/2014 10:21:49 am

Jason, I consider your observations following your audition to be par for the course. You've already written about past guests on Ancient Aliens and America Unearthed being unhappy with how they were presented. You've even revealed how the production crew for AU withheld information from Scott Wolter, to get a visceral reaction from him for heightened drama.

After exchanging emails with Father Jack Ashcraft, he kindly gave me permission to mention his experience as a guest on Ghost Adventures. As he explained:

"Certainly editing was done to make things more interesting (the show is entertainment more than reality after all). I don't want to go so far as to suggest I was misrepresented, but the situation itself was obviously creatively handled."

He further stated:

"I don't think there is any question that events are presented in such a way as to make them as marketable as possible, and therefore to make money."

I'm thinking this has a lot to do with your audition being so short, once you explained what it is you actually do.

It does seem that cable channels could care less about the content of their programming, because: money. If, in Fr. Jack's case, GA is willing to pressure him to do an exorcism on a man that even the show's hosts believed was faking demonic possession, what would have been expected of you as a host?

Reply
Matt Mc
11/15/2014 10:31:32 am

I would agree with your assessment Only Me, the only program I have worked on that was like these shows that Jason reviews was one of the Halloween Ghost Hunter live specials ( I was a tape and playback operator using a EVS system as we use in live sports) and we did a hell of a lot of playing footage off tape for something that was supposed to be live and a lot of the dialogue was scripted, in a very loose sense, but scripted and done with multiple takes picking the best on for the "live" broadcast. The broadcast itself was on about a five minute delay from really being "Live"

Reply
Matt Mc
11/15/2014 10:47:29 am

I should add that the episode was the infamous Ft. Delaware episode and to the best of my knowledge and everyone else who was on the truck with me the producers had nothing to do with Grants jacket being tugged.I am not saying it was not but that if it was staged it was not made privy to everyone involved in the shoot that evening.

Only Me
11/15/2014 05:17:04 pm

That jacket tug was almost as bad as this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SbOIVwNPvs

spookyparadigm
11/15/2014 12:29:39 pm

Let's just be blunt: Reality TV is union-busting

http://www.thebaffler.com/salvos/looks-like-a-duck-quacks-like-reality-tv

If the networks could fill their time-slots with the likes of Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead for the same cost as getting Childress to go on about whatever (ie, next to nothing) or Tsoukalos to wander around on-location shots without (almost next to nothing), with no writers' guild, no actors' guild, etc., they would.

Given the option of cheap crap and expensive goodness, most slots are filled with the former.

The article I linked focuses on class and spectacle of freak shows (like Honey Boo Boo).

A cynic might argue that reality shows look for those chasing the likes of Oreo cookie conspiracies because if they act out a fantasy world, they don't have to pay writers.

Think about how stupid Fox was with the X-Files. They spent millions each episode to simulate the paranormal community and their beliefs. They should have just gotten a couple of folks who wanted to promote books and work the convention circuit to run around in the dark with flashlights (or night vision today). Show wouldn't have lasted as long, but it would have been a fraction of the cost.[/sarcasm]

Reply
Not the Cote de Saint Germain
11/15/2014 02:21:38 pm

Oh, I realized that long ago. The broadcast networks produced a flood of reality shows in the early 2000s, in the wake of Survivor's initial success, as much because they were cheap as because they were popular. After two or three seasons, they realized that not all reality shows would draw the ratings they wanted, even when taking the lower costs into account, and they started to be a bit more selective.

Cable channels have lower budgets than broadcast and lower expected viewership, so it's inevitable that they'll mostly produce cheap sludge.

Reply
EP
11/15/2014 02:37:40 pm

I agree with NtCSG. Moreover, one of the reasons for the rise of reality TV was an actor strike happening around that time (or was it a writer strike?) and the networks needed to find something cheap and non-union to make up for absence of new shows.

Reply
Matt Mc
11/15/2014 02:41:04 pm

I was indeed a writers strike and the networks wanting to try to recreate the success of American Idol.

Not the Comte de Saint Germain
11/15/2014 05:00:54 pm

(I mis-signed my name last time and became "Not the dimension of Saint Germain").

The only recent writers' strikes I know of were in 1988 and 2007, so I'm not sure what you're referring to. There was a strike of commercial actors in 2000, but I don't see how it would have affected scripted programming.

EP
11/15/2014 05:18:24 pm

It affected unscripted programming. By making TV turn to it.

Not the Comte de Saint Germain
11/15/2014 07:55:16 pm

How would it have made networks turn to reality shows if it only affected commercials?

EP
11/16/2014 03:12:18 am

Sorry, I missed "commercial". There definitely was a strike involved, however. I don't remember which one, like I said.

Rev. Phil Gotsch
11/16/2014 11:26:12 am

ALL TV shows -- good, bad, best and in between -- are produced and provided to try to attract and hold the attention of a viewing audience …

This is true for 60 Minutes, Duck Dynasty, Tony Bourdain's No Reservations, The Real Housewives of [………….], Storage Wars, NOVA and America Unearthed …

*shrug*

Reply
RonNasty64
11/20/2014 12:52:53 am

Hey, Ted McGinley! I just want to say thanks for being the voice of reason. "I want to believe", but I also want the truth. Keep up the good work.

Reply
Rob
12/13/2014 04:08:26 pm

"To succeed, I need to lie through my teeth, embrace hypocrisy, withhold as much information as I can ... It’s a guaranteed path to success!"

Yes, it's called politics. It happens any time you put two or more primates in a single room. ;P

Reply



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