Kewaunee Lapseritis: Bigfoot Told Me He Works the Mines for Inter-Dimensional Alien Environmentalists
This morning Jane-Anne Shaw, a PhD student in Classics in Britain, posted a five-star review of my Jason and the Argonauts through the Ages on Amazon.co.uk. Hers is, so far as I know, the first review of my book, and I’m glad it was a nice one:
This is an extremely readable new paperback volume on an old myth. To examine, classify and rationalise the ancient figure of Jason (aka Iason - no ‘J’ in Classical Greek) Colavito has amassed a huge amount of material from the archaic Greek Mycenaean period down to our own era. […] It is not a heavy read - Colavito is clear and lucid - albeit stylistically I would place it towards the academic end of the Classical Studies spectrum. This does not detract from it at all - it is not a specialist book, and I imagine it will be of use to students as well as any general reader interested in the myth of Jason and the Argonauts.
A bit of disclosure: Several weeks ago Shaw asked me to put her in contact with my publisher so she could request a review copy. We did not discuss my book or my thoughts on Jason before she reviewed the book.
Bigfoot and Flying Saucers Redux
Regular readers will remember that last month I made several posts on the history and development of the alleged connection between Bigfoot and UFOs. Therefore I read with interest the utterly baffling ramblings of Jack “Kewaunee” Lapseritis, a self-described holistic health adviser and master dowser who claims that not only are Bigfoots real but that they are inter-dimensional beings who have communicated with him telepathically for more than 35 years. As a result, Lapseritis claims to have developed psychic powers of his own.
Lapseritis is the author of The Psychic Sasquatch and Their UFO Connection (1998), which has to be a candidate for one of the best-ever fringe science titles. He followed it up with The Sasquatch People and Their Interdimensional Connection.
According to Lapseritis, Bigfoot has a message for humanity: that human activity is destroying the planet. It’s not particularly surprising that a creature associated with the forest is somehow imagined to be concerned about environmental issues.
Last week Lapseritis presented a UFO festival and gave an interview to Willamette Week, a newspaper in Portland, Oregon. Some of what he said shocked even me in its hodgepodge of random fringe ideas slapped together into a vast conspiracy.
The first thing that was surprising is that Lapseritis claims that he experienced what in another context we would describe as a religious experience and attributed the writing of Psychic Sasquatch to a supernatural command. He says that in 1979 he was on “Native American property” when he encountered a psychic Bigfoot, and this animal served as herald for his almost-theophany:
And minutes later, an ET started talking to me, and I said, “I don’t see you.” And he said, “Well, I’m in what you people call a UFO. I’m just above you, in another dimension.” They told me to write a book about it, which I did. I’ve written two now, and they want me to write a third book.
The claim is immediately reminiscent of religious claims. Lapseritis claims to be in a sacred, liminal space (“Native American property”) not unlike Moses on Sinai or Muhammad in his cave at Mt. Hira. Like those prophets, Lapseritis claims to have been commanded to deliver a message. Moses, of course, recorded the word of the Lord (Exodus 24:4), while Muhammad was tasked with recording the Qur’an (Qu’ran 96). The invisibility of the ET is a difference from traditional accounts, where Moses met with God on Sinai, Muhammad met with Gabriel in his cave, and Joseph Smith had regular conversations with the angel Moroni. But it is similar to claims that the invisible Holy Spirit visits authors and inspires them to write, as Bill O’Reilly recently claimed for his book Killing Jesus, or as given in the Nicene Creed: “We believe in the Holy Spirit […] He has spoken through the Prophets.” (This is the Episcopal version, but the Catholic translation is nearly the same.) The ET claiming to inhabit a dimension above Lapseritis recalls nothing more than God and his angels in the empyrean above the earth.
It is perhaps unsurprising that Lapseritis claims he is a servant of God (“my life is devoted to God”) as well as a faithful “middleman” for the aliens. His self-described role as a man who receives revelations from the aliens, translates them into human language, and redacts them to conform to the aliens’ strict demands places him in the tradition of latter-day prophets, substituting aliens for angels. And like angels, he claims the aliens have powerful healing abilities, curing him of a brain tumor.
We might easily ask why the alien-angels would want to reveal their message through a largely unread book when they could more effectively utilize, say, television.
It is probably not surprising that Lapseritis claims to have learned about the Bigfoot-ET connection in 1979, right at the time when the claim hit the fringe science circuit, thanks to The Six Million Dollar Man (1976) and nonfiction works by the team of Jerome Clark and Loren Coleman (1977) as well as Leonard H. Stringfield (1977).
But this answer really takes the cake:
There are many different beings living in our forests, not just Sasquatch. Many different ones. They’ve been here for millions of years but they use portals to go in and out of. [sic] And the ETs use the portals, too. So when the ETs need help doing mining work for different minerals on our planet, they ask the Sasquatch to help because they’re so super-powerful and they can move gigantic rocks and stuff to help them.
The incoherence is striking. The ETs have portals but somehow lack the technology to drill for minerals without strong workers to life rocks for them. (And why do they need minerals?) The ETs are concerned that humans are destroying the planet, and yet they are strip mining the earth for minerals! The story seems suspiciously similar to Zecharia Sitchin’s Anunnaki, who similarly have a servant race (humans) to do the heavy lifting and dangerous mining work as they empty our planet of gold.
I am an author and researcher focusing on pop culture, science, and history. Bylines: New Republic, Esquire, Slate, etc. There's more about me in the About Jason tab.
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