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Micah Hanks Recycles Poe Conspiracy; Plus: Horror Movies to Be Made by Computer Data Analysis. Scary!

7/27/2016

13 Comments

 
I ran out of time today thanks to a Kafkaesque nightmare spurred by a faulty lock. My garage door’s lock needed replacing because the key broke and to rekey the lock would cost ten times what it costs to replace the doorknob. I had replaced the lock last month with a Kwikset, and it seemed fine. Then last night the lock stopped working. The latch would only come out halfway and was drooping about 20 degrees from its correct position. I didn’t have the receipt, but I still had the original package and the “lifetime” warranty. Home Depot said they wouldn’t take it back, even though it had their stickers and barcodes on it, without either the receipt or the original credit card number used to purchase it. 
I didn’t have the credit card number because last week someone stole my credit card number and used it to buy breakfast in South Carolina. The credit card company canceled the card and gave me a new one with a new number. So I had to call the credit card company, and after screaming at their automated phone tree to get me to a goddam person because, no, my question was not one of their 24 most common options, they wouldn’t give me the old number unless I could tell them the “security word” I had selected when I applied for the card—in July 1999. Since I didn’t remember it, I had to speak to the fraud department, who told me they couldn’t speak to me until I gave them—you guessed it—the security word. After half an hour on the phone with them I finally got them to give me the old credit card number so Home Depot would exchange the lock (They still wouldn’t give me money back because the card doesn’t exist anymore!) and I could reinstall a new lock on the door.
 
And all of this because I can keep replacing shitty locks over and over for less than it costs to make a key for the old lock that actually works.
 
That was my morning.
 
Speaking of broken junk…
 
Everybody knows that fringe history has a recycling problem, but I swear that the internet is making the lather-rinse-repeat cycle shorter than ever. Back in November Micah Hanks published an article on Mysterious Universe in which he asked whether Edgar Allan Poe was a time traveler who had advanced knowledge of the cannibalism death of Richard Parker, which he then included in his novel The Narrative of A. Gordon Pym. (He didn’t; the details, aside from the name, are entirely different.) Today Hanks recycled the same material from his November article, and pretended to be shocked to read about the time travel conspiracy theory in a different November 2015 article (which he calls “recent”). He also admits that he is recycling the content, yet again, from the first time he wrote about it in Fate magazine back in 2007!
 
Now, there isn’t anything inherently wrong with revisiting stories. Heaven knows I’ve talked about the same material more than once. But what’s galling is that there is never anything new in a Hanks recycling job. He doesn’t revisit stories to update them, to provide new insights, or to correct errors; he just repeats the same topics at random, like a very limited iTunes playlist on “Shuffle.” The reader doesn’t learn anything, but Hanks gets paid again!
 
In fact, it would seem that fringe sites could cut out the middle man and save money by using bots to generate computer-written material by remixing content from their archives. It would probably save money without altering the quality at all. Indeed, there is a Canadian movie production company that is currently using a computer to generate the plot and aesthetics of a new horror movie based entirely on audience reaction to earlier horror movies.
 
“It not only evaluates and suggests plot twists and deviations,” said Jack Zhang, the founder of production company Greenlight Essentials, “it also suggests which type of actors and actresses would make the movie more appealing, specific plot and cast combinations and even helps us find the right target market for the film to be successful.”
 
The computer’s “potent data processing” determined, for example, that to reach women under the age of 25, the movie must feature a ghost, family relationships, a score composed for piano, and a scene set in a bathtub. I’m not sure how processing data and delivering a spreadsheet counts as artificial intelligence, but press releases are not known for their accuracy.
 
The trouble I see from this is that the computer can only process data based on what has already been done. It can tell you how to remix and recycle, but it doesn’t seem to be designed to generate anything new. After a few iterations, it will be spitting out the same story over and over based on the highest-scoring data and then filmmakers will wonder why audiences stop responding to it. It may seem “data-driven” now, but so did the brain trust that gave us wall-to-wall sequels. And eventually audiences caught on to that and stopped responding to it. At least some element of originality and surprise is necessary to make a movie worth caring about—and here I define that very loosely. The recent remake of Macbeth, after all, is about as familiar a story as one can find, but it applies the aesthetics of Game of Thrones to the story, which is at least a bit of originality, or at least interest. 
13 Comments
Matt Mc
7/27/2016 01:56:22 pm

Not sure how different the computer algorithm is from what Roger Corman has done his whole career by by his checklist or things that need to happen (sometimes at certain time markers) in a film to reach his desired audience. This time instead of a focus group or studying audiences, well I guess it is still studying audience by the comments they make online, the computer is collect and analyzing the data. Overall the practice is just a update of a long history of filmmakers doing the same thing, something that is commonly taught in film school for at least 50 years, and regularly practiced by all the networks who track twitter, FB and other social media in real time to determine the audience reaction to news and sports commentary and shows. When I worked on PTI and Around the Horn we would have daily meeting based on the tracking reported the day before and tailor the show to better meet the demands of our target audience. And then there is SNAKES ON A PLANE an TUSK both of which were born out of messageboards and emails to the creators which in turn helped shaped the plot and key scenes in the movies.

As for interesting stuff being done by computer

http://www.vox.com/2016/6/1/11787262/blade-runner-neural-network-encoding

this is a lot more interesting a computer was asked to watch the film and then reconstruct it based on its interpretation of the film.

Reply
crainey
7/27/2016 02:27:13 pm

The article actually says a "piano scene." A bathtub scene I can understand but a piano scene? And it says those two scenes need to be in the trailer. Only the trailer?

Reply
Only Me
7/27/2016 02:28:02 pm

I don't mean to make light of your morning, but I couldn't stop laughing. I've been there, done that more times than I care to admit. Experience has taught me, sometimes it's just easier to pay the extra cost for less frustration down the road.

Given the current state of Hollywood movies, I seriously doubt anyone would notice the difference if a movie was made based on compiled data via computer.

Reply
orang
7/27/2016 02:46:58 pm

I bet that they gave you store credit, didn't they?

For new ideas inserted into an old genre, I like Z-Nation. It has used radioactive zombies, pothead zombies, there was a guy who was creating a zombie museum with the different species of zombies that had evolved, and the main character is a guy who is transforming into a zombie and has some psychic control over them and over some humans too.

Reply
RiverM
7/27/2016 06:33:18 pm

Season 2 of Z-Nation was excellent. Each episode was a rehash or had roots from previous television, film or stories of differing genres. Maybe the writers smoked Z-weed, leading to results.

A computer generated movie can no doubt be as great as one created by humans, but until the computer is truly involved in all aspects of production besides plot and casting, said computer is nothing more than a bean counter good with databases.

Reply
orang
7/27/2016 07:58:39 pm

what do you mean? what about that 2 episodes where there was a massive zombie migration (new idea, i think) and they led them over a cliff like indian buffalo hunters used to do. i think that's pretty original.

orang
7/27/2016 08:01:10 pm

i will admit that the zombie-nado episode was copied from sharknado.

Reply
Ph
7/28/2016 02:26:50 am

"The trouble I see from this is that the computer can only process data based on what has already been done. It can tell you how to remix and recycle, but it doesn’t seem to be designed to generate anything new."

Although you are right, they can actually seem to be new concepts.
If you would take the entire library of movies concepts, you have enough to chose from that most people haven't seen, thus seeming to be new.
Most european/american are not really that familiar with the japanese or hongkong productions, especially not the earlier rougher works.

Then add some thesaurus function, bath might be beach or jacuzzi.
Jack the Ripper is waiting around the dark corner for pokemon go players etc.

It wil start to become fun when the server can get realtime feedback data about his and other movies through beta brain waves or similar with real test audiences.

Reply
Documentary series cancelled
7/28/2016 07:58:49 am

http://www.tvwise.co.uk/2012/03/exclusive-syfy-cancels-reality-adventure-series-legend-quest/

Reply
Uncle Ron
7/28/2016 10:29:54 am

CGI is getting better all the time. Eventually it will be so good that audiences will not be able to tell CGI characters from real recorded actors. A "movie" (let's call this new genre an "art-vid" for artificial video - the irony of no art content whatsoever is too good) could be made starring Humphrey Bogart and Matt Damon. The audience reaction will be monitored and the action will be altered in real time to attempt to create the type of reaction the "director" wants. The movie will evolve during each showing as the audience reaction tweaks the events. You will be able to go back a week later and see a different version with possibly a different ending. ($$$!) Then critics will argue the merits of a "classic" version such as the one shown on May 16 with the current September 10 version.

Eventually characters will be totally artificial and no real people will be required (so long SAG) and wealthy people will be able to pay to have their likeness coded into an "on-screen" avatar for their own amusement. Lawsuits will ensue when jilted lovers have their ex's likeness' uploaded into a steamy porn art-vid.

Reply
DaveR
7/28/2016 11:15:28 am

How about a movie where a twenty year old returns home from college and discovers her family home is haunted. The ghost, a former composer in Europe, teaches her to play the piano. Her family thinks she's on drugs and stages an intervention. She goes to take a bath and eats ice cream while the ghost explains to her that he knew Mozart. A cat sleeps on the large towel at the foot of the tub, purring contentedly.

Reply
Day Late and Dollar Short
7/28/2016 12:38:17 pm

It almost feels like someone said, "How can we make Michael Bay and Nicholas Sparks movies without Michael Bay and Nicholas Sparks?"

Reply
someone
10/29/2018 06:05:46 pm

manufactured horror mythology in the phake news

bitshoot /video/HDfLqP5ed7O7/

Reply

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