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New Revisionist History Paints America as an Ancient European Dumping Ground for Obese Romans

3/6/2016

38 Comments

 
I received a series of emails this week from a self-described member of the Sinclair family who really wanted me to review his website, which is called Voyage of the Thunder Gods and exposes how Europeans were the true Native Americans. I’m not sure what to make of it, and I can’t quite tell whether it is meant seriously or is kind of an elaborate joke. Sinclair assured me that he is serious, so I suppose I need to take him at his word. All the same, I find it weird that he bases his revisionist history of the world on obesity. It’s certainly a … unique ... claim.
According to Sinclair, we have completely misunderstood all of world history because of a scientific conspiracy centered on carbon dating, which evil scientists use to deny Europeans their rightful role as the founders of all pre-Columbian American civilizations. He recalls being baffled by the process of carbon dating, which he claims (wrongly) to have witnessed firsthand when an archaeologist “carbon dated” a rock right in front of him in the field to 3400 BCE instead of 10,000 BCE or older, as he preferred. (Carbon dating doesn’t work on non-organic matter like rocks.) 
The reality was... a religious zealot needed to support a timeline for his ‘scientific’ theory of Indians crossing an ice bridge over the Bering Sea. Did anyone ever ask him, “How did the Indians get to the island of Cuba... in the Tropics?”  Science became a corrupt way of burying the truth, to erase a history belonging to someone else.
Thus, for Sinclair, all of the events of history took place in a different order from the one we are familiar with, starting around 5000 BCE, when the Druids emerged in Greece and started history on its forward march. He believes that around 1200 BCE the Norse discovered America and began American civilization. Some rogue Vikings became the “Clovis Indians.” Meanwhile, Europeans also traveled to Asia and founded the “Asian states.” Naturally, the Knights Templar are somehow involved, though placed in the early centuries BCE. Somehow various racial groups are thought to mix together through intentional admixture, thus causing the ancient (presumably white) master race to break down into sub-races defined by their degree of admixture with different types of non-white people.
 
Against all of this, Sinclair proposes that fat people played a major role in shaping world culture. He claims that in 133 BCE Tiberius Gracchus sent all Roman citizens over 300 pounds (in another place, he claims they were “300 men”) to America, and that again in 64 CE Nero repopulated Mexico with overweight people. He further maintains that Jesus was the son of a Greek god “who was expelled from the Greek world for being overweight.” Sinclair says that fat gods were shipped off to India to get down to a healthier weight.
 
Sinclair has a few different versions of his chronology. One appears on his website, and he sent me another by email, which I reproduce here since it focuses on building history toward its greatest culminating event, the carving of the Kensington Rune Stone:
1.  America was discovered between 1300-1200 BC by Phoenicians, the Greenland Sagas commenced in 1200 BC.
2.  Tartarus (Pre-Egypt) was moved to America in 1100 BC.  A formation of Knights were created to police America.
3.  The Gaul Knights were defeated in 754 BC giving rise to the Roman Republic & Empire that defeated Carthage in Punic Wars.
4.  Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus, the Roman Zeus from Carthage, shipped all men over 300 pounds to America in 133 BC.
5.  Odin's Cobblestone Court was brought to America at the turn of the century.  Mecca memorialized his departure as Allah.
6.  The Kingdom of Naples was sent to Arcadia (Florida) in 79 AD when Mt. Vesuvius erupted & covered Herculaneum with ash.
7.  Teotihuacan (The Religion of Thor) operated until 791 AD when it was defeated at the Battle for Uppsala Sound in Sweden.
8.  A Skraelingar and Stave uprising took out every Viking ship as they descended from Vineland Station to Roanoke Island
9.  Lief Ericsson's ship was the only one to survive, he entered America through the Templar portal in Hudson Bay Canada
10. Retrieving all the men from the Midgaard Serpant (Mississippi River) the Nordic bloodline was preserved in 985 AD.
11. The Alamo Incursion occurred in 1002 AD, and the Indians of South America swarmed into North America.
12. A Federated States of Amerigan began in 1040 AD, the Vikings were crushed in 1066 AD by the Norman Conquest.
13. Mounds Park Minnesota is the site for which the Battle of Hastings took place.
14. The St. Clare Expeditions returned the Europeans to America in 1255 AD.
15. The men of the Sinclair Expeditions were found dead in 1362 AD.
16. In 1402 AD, Henry Sinclair was on his deathbed.  He commissioned his son to return to America.
17. The Kensington Runestone was the centerpiece of a circular memorial erected at the lines intersecting the 2 Templar portals.
18. As America was being colonized, the Runestone was buried to avoid its destruction.
19. A tree was planted on its location when the Sinclair family returned to its homeland.
20. It was intentionally dug up to show evidence of America's earliest beginnings.
To the degree that this is of any interest, it’s interesting to see how Sinclair has mixed and matches a wide array of fringe claims and placed euhemerism alongside diffusionism and more than a dash of Fomenko-style randomized chronology in a riot of fact and fantasy, revised and rewritten to glorify none other than the Sinclair family. 
38 Comments
KMC
3/6/2016 09:45:20 am

So European-Americans aren't content with taking away Native American land, culture, and language, now they take away their history, too!? btw: how do all these idiots explain away smallpox? Surely if there had been so much European contact prior to 1492, 90% of native populations wouldnt have been killed off by exposure to a new & deadly disease. They would have been exposed already. Have you run into any "fringe" explanations for that?

Reply
Time Machine
3/6/2016 09:48:08 am

>>>wanted me to review his website<<<

Rationalism is beyond most homo sapiens.
Objectivity lies beyond all grasp.

Reply
Clay
3/6/2016 11:52:17 am

I grew up near Mounds Park (the site of some Indian burial mounds), which is in St. Paul, Minnesota. I never realized it was the site of the Battle of Hastings. Hastings, Minnesota is a small city about twenty miles south of St. Paul, so perhaps that is somehow involved.

Reply
Time Machine
3/6/2016 12:05:48 pm

>>> Battle of Hastings<<<

Actually happened in Penvensey

Reply
Time Machine
3/6/2016 12:13:59 pm

Pevensey (correction)

Stephen Morillo, The Battle of Hastings: Sources and Interpretations (The Boydell Press, 1996)

Reply
herm
3/6/2016 12:34:08 pm

Copy paste. Copy paste. No thing new. Yawn bore.

Reply
tm
3/6/2016 03:04:00 pm

At least "Sybil" was actually clever.

Yawn...

Reply
Only Me
3/6/2016 04:05:34 pm

I guess toads and dragons aren't the only ones with rocks in their heads.

Asthix
3/6/2016 12:41:54 pm

"Teotihuacan (The Religion of Thor) operated until 791 AD when it was defeated at the Battle for Uppsala Sound in Sweden."

Wow, this is when I had to consider if you are indeed being trolled.

Reply
Time Machine
3/6/2016 12:49:52 pm

Tlaloc, god of storms, rain, and fertility was an Aztec version of Thor, Indra, and King Arthur

Didn't you know that...?


Reply
Only Me
3/6/2016 04:02:08 pm

I'm sure he/she does. The point is, every culture had gods that shared similar characteristics; that alone doesn't validate Sinclair's claims.

We're talking about a guy who thinks you can carbon date a rock and believes ancient fat people disproves current history.

Time Machine
3/6/2016 04:44:05 pm

It was a sarcastic remark demonstrating the illogic of the distorted reasoning...

Time Machine
3/6/2016 04:46:41 pm

Richard Leviton, "Walking in Albion: Adventures in the Christed Initiation in the Buddha Body" (iUniverse, 2010)

Only Me
3/6/2016 08:07:56 pm

*Sigh*

Yes, but such a demonstration is unnecessary. Jason's article more than suffices in showing the utter bullshit.

Time Machine
3/7/2016 12:03:06 pm

Come on put your thinking cap on - I was responding to Asthix and not to the Blog article

Time Machine
3/7/2016 12:07:21 pm

Richard Leviton writes crap books where he conflates elements together that he considers to be similar --- then when other people read those books --- who cannot judge for themselves that Richard Leviton is a romantic and not a serious writer --- use his books as a platform for their own fantasies.

Joseph Campbell is probably the best example of this scatterbrained phoney "scholarship".

Only Me
3/7/2016 12:56:32 pm

"I was responding to Asthix"

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Time Machine
3/7/2016 01:05:50 pm

I can say exactly the same thing about your stuff, why do you do it, when the Blog article suffices.

Only Me
3/7/2016 01:44:41 pm

For the same reason everyone else does, including you. Because I can.

Time Machine
3/7/2016 04:36:22 pm

So can I

Clete
3/6/2016 03:10:20 pm

Jason, whoever sent you this I would like to contact. Whatever he's smoking, I want some.

Reply
Jonathan Feinstein
3/6/2016 04:25:32 pm

"(Carbon dating doesn’t work on non-organic matter like rocks.) "

Not to mention it's not something that can be done in the field. Kind of hard to tote a C14 dating lab around on your back.

Reply
Tony
3/6/2016 08:08:00 pm

"Sinclair says that fat gods were shipped off to India to get down to a healthier weight."

Wouldn't it have been a lot cheaper to make them walk to India?

Reply
Gary
3/8/2016 01:04:26 pm

And they would have been skinny by the time they got there.

Reply
Pacal
3/6/2016 11:43:37 pm

This guy's ideas are so off the wall that I also suspect he is trolling. however I've also learned by bitter experience that sometimes things that seem like trolling are in fact meant seriously.

In this case the thing that makes me suspect that possibly this guy is serious is This:

"According to Sinclair, we have completely misunderstood all of world history because of a scientific conspiracy centered on carbon dating, which evil scientists use to deny Europeans their rightful role as the founders of all pre-Columbian American civilizations."

This sort of thinking is in fact unpleasantly common among some fringe theorists and of course once again amounts to trying to steal the heritage of Native Americans. So I am not entirely convinced that this guy is indeed a troll.

Reply
Jonathan Feinstein
3/7/2016 06:34:38 am

Just reread this entry and, just... wow.

At one point or other I wrote a short satirical history based on "Asterix" comics (leaving out the names of the comic book characters). It made more sense as a history than this does even with the Gaulish invasions of Egypt and the Americas, not to mention the Gaulish superiority at the Olympic Games.

As a writer of SF and fantasy, I am expected to craft coherent worlds with histories that make sense. If set in the future, it is important not to get so exotic that the readers have trouble relating and if set in a magical world it is vital not to make magic the solution to all problems physical and personal - otherwise all you need is the right magic wand or unique amulet or whatever. In short you have to deal with real people and realistic accomplishments within the context to make the story believable.

In contrast,it seems the fringe writers do just the opposite. The more outlandish and unbelievable the claim, the more strenuously they will assert it. I am obviously in the wrong business. Maybe it's time to write a book I have had on my mind for years; "So... You Want to Start a Cult?"

Reply
Shane Sullivan
3/7/2016 12:26:23 pm

"... Gaulish superiority at the Olympic Games."

Well, that's just a historical fact. I mean, according to Steve Quayle, the Gauls were biblical giants, so they surely would have dominated the puny human-sized Greeks in athletic competition, what with their superior strength and longer stride.

Reply
Jonathan Feinstein
3/7/2016 12:59:17 pm

Maybe, but I don't recall any instance in which they attended the games, much less participated... well, outside of "Asterix and the Olympic Games"

Shane Sullivan
3/7/2016 01:16:16 pm

That's just what the Smithsonian wants you to believe. =P

Justin Demetri link
3/7/2016 07:11:31 am

This has to be a joke right? He must be trying to get his website noticed. After all, none of us would have visited it if he didn't contact Jason. Mr. ahem "Sinclair" has to do a better job of covering his tracks though. His PPC Preservation Society is registered to a Eric J. Andrisen in Oakdale MN. I assume Mr. Andrisen, E.J. Andrews, and Eirik Sinclair are one and the same, too many Eric's spoil the broth...Also looks like he has at least one bankruptcy under his belt too.

Reply
Jason Colavito link
3/7/2016 02:58:42 pm

Thanks for finding that information! I had thought "Sinclair" was a pen name, but I hadn't found the registration. Is there something in the water in Minnesota?

Reply
Justin Demetri link
3/7/2016 06:13:47 pm

I blame the lutefisk, all that lye...

David Brody
3/8/2016 10:06:41 am

So, in the interest of fairness and accuracy, perhaps you should make a notation on your original post that this "self-described member of the Sinclair family" may actually not be?

Bob Jase
3/7/2016 08:37:24 am

Its a poe - no real historical account would leave out the founding of Oz by the Picts.

Reply
DaveR
3/7/2016 09:46:16 am

It's amazing the ability some people have to completely ignore all evidence contradicting their claims.

Reply
Time Machine
3/7/2016 01:10:59 pm

>>>It's amazing the ability some people have to completely ignore all evidence contradicting their claims.<<<

The evidence does not sell books, does not provide sufficient material to produce 10 Seasons of "Ancient Aliens", and more to the point, the evidence cannot be recycled and copied & pasted ad infinitum.

Because evidence is without entertainment value.

Reply
DaveR
3/8/2016 09:25:09 am

Personally I find a lot of entertainment value in evidence.

On the rare occasions I watch AA I alternate between laughing and cringing.

Reply
Christine Erikson link
3/13/2016 02:57:09 pm

"Sinclair proposes that fat people played a major role in shaping world culture."

I suppose he is maybe 300 pounds or more and trying to feel better about himself?

Reply

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