Oh, it’s getting ridiculous. The New York Daily News ran a tongue-in-cheek piece about the alleged UFO cave art in India reported in the Times of India, and rather than suggest that maybe the story isn’t quite solid, they decided to take the opposite tack and tell readers that the find had been “confirmed.” The paper then suggested that Ancient Aliens would be the right place to “investigate” it. At least they got that right.
The Times of India reported that archeologists in Chhattisgarh have confirmed that cave paintings of UFOs and aliens (of the outer space kind) decked out in space suits are about 10,000 years old. Since, shockingly, Chhattisgarh doesn’t have any UFOlogists on er, board there, they are bringing in NASA. What? Why don’t they call on Giorgio Tsoukalos and Erich von Daniken? Not only would “Ancient Aliens” pay for the research, we loyal viewers could discover once and for all whether Giorgio’s hair is alien or human. Better: If that shirt that “Aliens” contributor David Childress never takes off is also 10,000 years old.
The Daily News misread the Times of India report and suggested falsely that NASA was actually planning to investigate the cave art. The original report said only that the archaeology department of Chhattisgarh “plans to seek” help from NASA, which is a far different thing.
The funniest part is when the paper suggested that Ancient Aliens would ever pay for original research! That’s hilarious!
Speaking of Ancient Aliens, the H2 network is launching the show’s seventh season tonight as part of a three-hour block of original ancient astronaut programming. Well, sort of original. The first hour will be an Ancient Aliens Special Edition clip show, followed by the season premiere, covering (but of course) “The Reptilians.” Suggested by Theosophy, developed by Robert E. Howard, and popularized by He-Man and V, the Reptilians are the go-to aliens for anti-government conspiracy theorists. I’m surprised that Ancient Aliens hadn’t gotten to them before.
But the climax of the evening is going to be Giorgio Tsoukalos’s new show, In Search of Aliens. The six-part series will send the Ancient Aliens star on field excursions to find “evidence” for subjects not typically associated with aliens so he can then assert a relationship with aliens. The topics are to include such well-worn saws as Atlantis, the Loch Ness Monster, and Bigfoot. The show hits the sweet spot between America Unearthed and Ancient Aliens, as though the two had an alien love child.
But the best part of the show must be the instant-rerun factor: It’s built out of spare parts, so it already feels like we’ve seen it all before. Giorgio Tsoukalos is an over-exposed figure reprising his Ancient Aliens schtick. The subject matter is so well-worn that it will already be familiar to all but the most naïve H2 viewers. Even the title of the show is recycled: In Search of Aliens instantly recalls the 1980s syndicated series In Search Of…, and its progenitor In Search of Ancient Astronauts. This is doubly appropriate since In Search of Ancient Astronauts was an authorized adaptation of Erich von Däniken’s Chariots of the Gods, and Giorgio Tsoukalos began his ancient astronaut career as von Däniken’s spokesperson and disciple.
So, I’ve been trying to come up with a plan for how I want to deal with this. I obviously can’t sit through three hours of this crap all in a row. My plan is to do a brief summary of Special Edition, but since my Ancient Aliens reviews have suffered declining readership since they peaked in season four, for season seven I think I’ll have shorter reviews that highlight key claims rather than exhaustively chronicle everything the show says. If I can type fast enough, these two reviews will go up tonight. Then, tomorrow I will spend more time analyzing Tsoukalos’s new show, both because it is new and also because Atlantis is more interesting to me than lizard people. To do, this, however, I’ll need more time, so that review will likely run tomorrow. I don’t think that in future weeks, however, I’ll be doing separate reviews of the two shows and might combine them as a fringe block omnibus.
7/25/2014 06:16:17 am
You're doing Grodd's work, Jason: watching humans do stupid things, then smashing them.
7/25/2014 06:24:26 am
Pounding shots? Like hell! Both series could be turned into a drinking game that will have your liver seeking a new address. Just make the rules up as you go.
7/25/2014 06:52:04 am
>>> rising tide of bullshit to come.
7/25/2014 07:38:42 am
No one said they didn't. Reading comprehension is really hard for you, isn't it?
7/25/2014 06:20:08 am
"Then, tomorrow I will spend more time analyzing Tsoukalos’s NEWS show."
7/25/2014 06:53:24 am
A most unfortunate typo. I've fixed it!
7/25/2014 10:07:12 am
... or is it? <Twilight Zone music>
7/25/2014 06:23:15 am
Any idea of the current viewership (season 6)? I have to believe it's falling faster than the readership of your reviews
7/25/2014 06:30:06 am
I wonder if the two are connected somehow...
7/25/2014 06:24:34 am
7/25/2014 06:32:40 am
I'm also surprised AA never covered Reptilians. Infact, when I read they were going to, I thought, "again?", before I realized that they hadn't.
7/25/2014 07:30:13 am
I suspect a lot of those interested in Reptilians think they have something closer to do with cobbled together conspiratorial American folk Christianity (that makes room for jinn, Annunaki, etc., as versions of things in the Bible). That's more likely who they don't want to lose.
7/25/2014 10:15:31 am
If I recall correctly, they *did* "cover reptilians"... at least insofar as season 4, which had an idiotic hodgepodge of various "alien types" (including reptiles).
7/25/2014 10:23:54 am
They've mentioned Reptilians off and on. They just never devoted an episode to them before. They also never devoted an episode to the Nordic/Aryan aliens, but I imagine we can guess why.
7/25/2014 03:06:24 pm
Jason... am hoping that Gunn's display of his age in a thread
7/25/2014 03:13:43 pm
dang my almost dyslexic tyPoes ---- Hydra, Modern ...and
7/25/2014 02:44:24 pm
"Howardian" = R.E Howard, sci-fi writer, whose modern
7/25/2014 06:52:33 am
Ka nama kaa lajerama.
7/25/2014 11:49:57 am
I don't know if this has been brought up before, but I think the ancient lizard people believers may have been confused after reading this...http://www.taylorandersonauthor.com/2007/01/the-world-of-the-destroyermen/
7/25/2014 03:29:42 pm
duckies--- "V" the '80s tv series wuZ a rip~off of Gene R's
7/25/2014 03:36:39 pm
JMS's BABYLON FIVE had very very intelligent reptile aliens.
7/25/2014 05:32:52 pm
All I saw was "New York Daily News" and.....
7/26/2014 06:57:28 pm
the new GT blog just got up to 100 postings!
8/15/2014 07:53:49 am
1.) i really hope "EP" is not a Nazi spy whose great-uncle
8/15/2014 08:15:25 am
duckies ---- A&E could use all of your comments in a legal
8/15/2014 08:28:09 am
if y'all think my gonzo is a difficult read,
8/15/2014 08:32:07 am
i wisely said 9000 SOLAR years...
8/15/2014 08:35:32 am
you do know that the film version of
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I am an author and researcher focusing on pop culture, science, and history. Bylines: New Republic, Esquire, Slate, etc. There's more about me in the About Jason tab.
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