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Review of Ancient Aliens S03E10: Aliens and Evil Places

9/29/2011

7 Comments

 
At this point in the run of Ancient Aliens, more than halfway through its third season, it has become clear that the producers never expected the series to last this long. Where the early episodes of the series moved quickly and covered the “classic” ancient “mysteries” of the ancient astronaut theory, more recent episodes have slowed the pace considerably and spend increasing time talking to people other than ancient astronaut theorists. This seems to be a confession on the part of Prometheus Entertainment (who, as of this writing, has still refused to speak with me about the show) that they are running out of material.

How else to explain last night’s embarrassing hour of television, “Aliens and Evil Places,” which even by the low standards of cable mystery-mongering failed the first function of television: to entertain. Since the production was so lazy, I find it difficult to muster up the energy to watch it again to pull out quotations. I think I’ll just wing it. Heaven knows they were.

The premise of “Aliens and Evil Places” is that some places around the world “feel” charged with evil energy, and this evil energy comes from the long ago presence of extraterrestrials (or as Giorgio Tsoukalos puts it, “extraterrestrials”), preserved in folk memory as frightening, scary creatures. Or maybe it has to do with alien uranium mines, or alien missile defense shields. One of those, definitely. But mostly the “feeling” part.

Now, it wasn’t that long ago that Ancient Aliens claimed that alien visitation made places sacred (S03E03, “Aliens and Sacred Places,” August 11, 2011), so it is somewhat disconcerting to see the same “experts” argue with equal vehemence that ancient people thought aliens (whom, we must remember, they are supposed to have viewed as “gods”) made places “evil.” The apparent explanation is the un-evidenced supposition that there are multiple groups of aliens, some good and some evil, and usually at war. To put this in even geekier terms, this is something like discussing the battles of the war between the Green Lanterns and the Sinestro Corps without ever bothering to establish whether Green Lanterns exist (hint: they don’t).

But no matter; because the criteria for judging an alien presence has been downgraded from physical evidence or even textual evidence to merely a “feeling” that a place is “creepy” or “evil,” ancient astronaut theorists are now free to see aliens everywhere without fear of having their alleged evidence actually examined. How can one argue with a feeling?

Of course, if a creepy feeling is all it takes to prove aliens were involved, then nearly every town in America must be infested with extraterrestrials.

Ghost House
The Ghost House at Fort George Island, Fla. in 1886, an eerie ruin believed to be haunted. If the ancient astronaut theory is true, such eerie ruins mark the spots where aliens spent the night, like those inns that claim Washington slept there. (Library of Congress)
Every town has a house like the one above, an abandoned old place usually known as a “ghost house” or a “witch house,” the alleged site of eerie events. Such houses are found everywhere, and they certainly cannot all be built on the sites of alien encounters. Instead, the answer is to be found in Edmund Burke’s 1756 treatise On the Sublime and Beautiful, where he argued that large, imposing ruins and dark, eerie nights are elements that induce a feeling of the sublime. In other words, sites have stories attached to them because they make us feel a connection to the sublime; they do not become sublime through the stories circulating around them. This is the feeling that the ignorant “experts” on Ancient Aliens tried and failed to describe, for they had not the words to express a philosophical concept at odds with the dull literalism of the ancient astronaut theory.

Finally, the whopper of the week: In discussing Australian aboriginal mythology, the narrator of Ancient Aliens asked whether the “rainbow serpent,” a flying Aboriginal mythic figure, was in fact an alien spaceship. A clue to why this is not true can be found in the name of the creature.

The rainbow serpent is actually believed to live underground, not in the sky. He can be found primarily in waterholes and derives from the rainbow formed when sunlight strikes the water, making little ripples that look like the body of a Technicolor serpent moving beneath the surface. This serpent is a creature of deep water, not deep space, and is obviously immensely different from flying saucers, rocket ships, and other things that streak across the daytime sky.
Rainbow Reflection
Ok, so that's a rainbow in the sky. That means the thing in the water is...wait....yes...an alien spaceship! (Image: Commander John Bortniak, NOAA Corps)

Of course, if we seriously hold that Aboriginal people cannot distinguish between a rainbow in a puddle and a flying saucer in the sky, then quite clearly the famous internet meme Nyan Cat is also a symbol of ancient aliens. Think about it: The cat bears an uncanny resemblance to the “gray” species of alien. His pop tart is quite clearly an ignorant artist’s attempt to depict a flying saucer, while the rainbow emerging from behind Nyan Cat (flying through space no less!) clearly represents the light trail burned into the eyes of those who dare stare at the quick-darting brilliance of the extraterrestrial feline traveler. On what grounds can we deny that Nyan Cat is clear and unambiguous evidence of extraterrestrial intervention in cyberspace?
Nyan Cat
Nyan Cat: Ancient Astronaut. (© Chris Torres)
7 Comments
xover
3/26/2013 09:39:48 am

as much as i enjoy your blog you left out a refutation of the only thing that is actually compelling evidence for ancient aliens. and it was in this episode, the metal cauldrons in siberia russia, well documented metal cauldrons, that the explorers actually find in this episode, why can you do with that?

Reply
Daniel Knight link
8/11/2014 05:35:25 pm

So called skeptics avoid truth.

Reply
Mike
1/31/2015 10:12:10 am

See below, they are a story that has no evidence of being true (they were never found). If I tell people there is a crashed UFO in my shed, but never provide evidence, it doesn't become true no matter how much time passes.

Reply
Nomnomnom
1/6/2014 09:30:51 am

I was hoping that you'd talk about the Siberian portion as well. I didn't find much on them when I went looking (admittedly, I didn't look for very long) and I was hoping that you had more information or credible sources that you could link

Reply
Jason Colavito link
1/6/2014 09:47:32 am

I wish I could help you out, but no one has proved these cauldrons actually existed (they are first mentioned only in the 1930s, after the beginnings of science fiction literature), and even if they did, they are not beyond the metal-casting talents of the Asian peoples. Back in the 1930s and 1940s the Soviets were keen on promoting these kinds of legends, going so far as to fabricate them, in order to promote secularism and their version of science. Magic metal cauldrons that kill people who get too close? Why the Ark of the Covenant isn't so special! See, our communist science found that God isn't behind it at all!

On the show, though, please note that the show did not actually find the cauldrons. It found some sinkholes that had hard bases. This isn't the same thing. The pictures they showed were computer-generated.

The Fortean Times sent an investigator to look for them in 2007 and came up with nothing.

Reply
Rob
6/28/2014 03:04:49 am

All anybody has to do when they watch these things, is to not listen to the opinion that are given, just weigh the evidence for yourself, research it and then form your own opinion. Some of these things I believe to be fact but
some of it I think is absolutely rubbish. Not everything presented to us is fact, a lot of it is sensationalized rubbish. Do your research and make up your own mind.

Reply
Kris
10/30/2015 04:52:30 am

Funny outlook on them not expecting the series to last this long. To be honest I've always had trouble with the majority of reaching that's done and then chalked up to aliens. I was shocked to realize that there was a relatively intelligent guy I met who believed our ancestors were actually slaves of aliens, siting different developments that are out of the realm of human thinking such as the Pyramids but avoiding Stonehenge or other Ancient Womders like the Hanging Gardens...I guess those weren't out of comprehension at least in the area of use; a garden in a calendar right? But the pyramid could have been an accent power plant! Okay, yea. He never went there I just knew a little about it. It's amazing how dumb humans apparently were previous of the 20th century!
Ones that I still find amazing is the 90 degree cuts at one of the sites and even more impressive was the molds that seem like acid must have made them fit so snug. But did an alien use a death ray to melt, I'm afraid the measure of faith I was given may not reach there;)
But yes, it seems they just are grabbing anything now-a-days..frankly it always grabbed anything. They have Lazarus Jesus commands to come forth from the grave and cut to commercial thanks ETs were behind it, too. Talk about "drinking the cool aid"..I'm afraid they are a couple steps away.
And to think this all started from a book "Chariots of the Gods". The author is lifted up by others in the "field" like Anton LaVey was by his claim to fame he authored in 1969.

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          • W. Scott-Elliot >
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        • The Mutinous Sea
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      • Extreme History >
        • Roman Empire Hoax
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        • Historical Chronology of the Mexicans
        • Maspero on the Predynastic Sphinx
        • Vestiges of the Mayas
        • Ragnarok: The Age of Fire and Gravel
        • Origins of the Egyptian People
        • The Secret Doctrine >
          • Volume 1: Cosmogenesis
          • Volume 2: Anthropogenesis
        • Phoenicians in America
        • The Electric Ark
        • Traces of European Influence
        • Prince Henry Sinclair
        • Pyramid Prophecies
        • Templars of Ancient Mexico
        • Chronology and the "Riddle of the Sphinx"
        • The Faith of Ancient Egypt
        • Remarkable Discoveries Within the Sphinx (Hoax)
        • Spirit of the Hour in Archaeology
        • Book of the Damned
        • Great Pyramid As Noah's Ark
        • The Shaver Mystery >
          • Lovecraft and the Deros
          • Richard Shaver's Proofs
    • Alien Encounters >
      • US Government Ancient Astronaut Files >
        • Fortean Society and Columbus
        • Inquiry into Shaver and Palmer
        • The Skyfort Document
        • Whirling Wheels
        • Denver Ancient Astronaut Lecture
        • Soviet Search for Lemuria
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        • Unidentified Flying Objects (Abstract)
        • "Flying Saucers"? They're a Myth
        • UFO Hypothesis Survival Questions
        • Air Force Academy UFO Textbook
        • The Condon Report on Ancient Astronauts
        • Atlantis Discovery Telegrams
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        • Noah's Ark Cables
        • The Von Daniken Letter
        • CIA Psychic Probe of Ancient Mars
        • CIA Search for the Ark of the Covenant
        • Scott Wolter Lawsuit
        • UFOs in Ancient China
        • CIA Report on Noah's Ark
        • CIA Noah's Ark Memos
        • Congressional Ancient Aliens Testimony
        • Ancient Astronaut and Nibiru Email
        • Congressional Ancient Mars Hearing
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      • Ancient Extraterrestrials >
        • Premodern UFO Sightings
        • The Moon Hoax
        • Inhabitants of Other Planets
        • The Fall of the Sky
        • Blavatsky on Ancient Astronauts
        • The Stanzas of Dzyan (Hoax)
        • Aerolites and Religion
        • What Is Theosophy?
        • Plane of Ether
        • The Adepts from Venus
      • A Message from Mars
      • Saucer Mystery Solved?
      • Orville Wright on UFOs
      • Interdimensional Flying Saucers
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      • Flying Saucers Are Real
      • Report on UFOs
    • The Supernatural >
      • The Devils of Loudun
      • Sublime and Beautiful
      • Voltaire on Vampires
      • Demonology and Witchcraft
      • Thaumaturgia
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      • Religion and Evolution
      • Transylvanian Superstitions
      • Defining a Zombie
      • Dread of the Supernatural
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      • Science and Fairy Stories
      • The Cursed Car
    • Classic Fiction >
      • Lucian's True History
      • Some Words with a Mummy
      • The Coming Race
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      • An Inhabitant of Carcosa
      • The Xipéhuz
      • Lot No. 249
      • The Novel of the Black Seal
      • The Island of Doctor Moreau
      • Pharaoh's Curse
      • Edison's Conquest of Mars
      • The Lost Continent
      • Count Magnus
      • The Mysterious Stranger
      • The Wendigo
      • Sredni Vashtar
      • The Lost World
      • The Red One
      • H. P. Lovecraft >
        • Dagon
        • The Call of Cthulhu
        • History of the Necronomicon
        • At the Mountains of Madness
        • Lovecraft's Library in 1932
      • The Skeptical Poltergeist
      • The Corpse on the Grating
      • The Second Satellite
      • Queen of the Black Coast
      • A Martian Odyssey
    • Classic Genre Movies
    • Miscellaneous Documents >
      • The Balloon-Hoax
      • A Problem in Greek Ethics
      • The Migration of Symbols
      • The Gospel of Intensity
      • De Profundis
      • The Life and Death of Crown Prince Rudolf
      • The Bathtub Hoax
      • Crown Prince Rudolf's Letters
      • Position of Viking Women
      • Employment of Homosexuals
    • Free Classic Pseudohistory eBooks
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