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Review of Ancient Aliens S06E09 "Aliens and Forbidden Islands"

11/30/2013

21 Comments

 
As Ancient Aliens grows older, it is noticeably struggling to find new ways to present the same claims. The topics for the show have grown more diverse and less focused on aliens. The topic for S06E09 “Aliens and Forbidden Islands” is islands—simply an entire category of landmasses. We can look forward next season, I suppose, to “Aliens and Mountains,” “Aliens and Really Tall Trees,” or “Aliens and Pleasant Lakes.” At least this time the show tries to connect the subject to aliens, positing that islands worldwide are ancient alien bases.

Note, though, that the “forbidden” islands are so “forbidden” that not only did Ancient Aliens get to them but they are also mostly open for tourism.

We open in March 1963 near Puerto Rico, where Richard Dolan tells us about a sonar artifact the U.S. Navy tracked under water for four days. Mike Bara chimes in, too, but this is not ancient so I’m not sure what its relevance is. From this, Nick Redfern explains that Puerto Ricans believe that a UFO base is located near the island, but since that claim is rather easy to test it is surprising that they don’t bother to conduct even a cursory dive to go looking for one.

Tim Swartz of The Conspiracy Journal seems to be a new face on the show, and he explains why underwater UFO bases are such a great choice for aliens. Where do they get their air from, presuming they breathe air? Where do their waste products go? Surely we should be able to test for this sort of thing and find these bases. Somehow alien technology manages to account for every such possibility.

We next look at the Aleutian Islands in 1945 and yet another UFO sighting. Interestingly, the various talking heads tell us now that the “sighting” was of a disk-shaped flying craft, but Richard Dolan—one of those talking heads—wrote in his 2002 book UFOs and the National Security State that it was a “dark sphere” rather than a disk. Sadly, this story is not precisely as described; the “sighting” wasn’t reported until 1959, long after the UFO craze began and far too long after the fact to be taken as unambiguous evidence.

Giorgio Tsoukalos tells us that this is relevant because the islands’ native people, the Aleuts, in their origin story tell us that they originated from a dog who fell from heaven, which he interprets as genetic seeding from aliens. However, this is only one of many variants of the Aleut creation myth, which anthropologists also found in many versions that do not have any heavenly dog. One version uses only a pair of earthly dogs, and another a female dog and an old man who walked to the islands from the farthest north.

We move on to the Isle of Man and, of course, the Tuatha De Danann—which this week the show asserts arrived in “cloud of mist,” while last time (as in the previous episode) that very same cloud of mist was a UFO that blacked out the sun! They can’t even get their story straight in successive episodes. The show discusses fairy abductions and, instead of doing like most scholars (such as Thomas E. Bullard) and seeing this evidence that UFO abduction myths are modern folklore, they instead claim that fairies and little people are alien children.

The show attempts to describe the three-legged “fiery wheel” of Isle of Man lore, and asserts that it is a spaceship. This is a rather convoluted story, but the ancient astronaut theorists fail to note the origin of the story: The early legends of St. Patrick say that he found the island inhabited by three-legged men who walked in circles, revolving like wheels. From this early story came the modern myth, which was recorded by Joseph Train in the Historical and Statistical Account of the Isle of Man (volume 2) in 1845. It is therefore a very late derivative:

The natives say that many centuries before the Christian era the Island was inhabited by Fairies, and that all business was carried on in a supernatural manner. They affirm that a blue mist continually hung over the land, and prevented mariners, who passed in ships that way, from even suspecting that there was an Island so near at hand, till a few fishermen, by stress of weather, were stranded on the shore. As they were preparing to kindle a fire on the beach, they were astounded by a fearful noise issuing from the dark cloud which concealed the Island from their view. When the first spark of fire fell into their tinder box, the fog began to move up the side of the mountain, closely followed by a revolving object, closely resembling three legs of men joined together at the upper part of the thighs, and spread out so as to resemble the spokes of a wheel. Hence the Arms of the Island. (p. 144)

This is only one variant of the story. Another variant dispenses with the sky wheel and makes the fisherman find only a fairy fire on the beach. These stories, as Train observed, reflect the well-documented Druid practice of lighting a wheel aflame at the solstices as a symbol of the sun. The stories are also rationalizations of the arms of the Isle of Man, which show three legs in a pinwheel shape and derive from pagan solar symbols, in turn coming from the ancient Indo-European description of the sun as a wheel, something found in all Indo-European cultures.

Picture
Flag of the Isle of Man (Wikipedia)
Instead, Ancient Aliens simply asserts that the “revolving object” is a wheel and therefore the wheels of Ezekiel and a UFO.

After the commercial, we go to Guadalcanal to listen to myths about giants that are supposedly still living in tunnels beneath the island. Again, the show chooses not to go find them, or their bones, or the remains of their food, or any other trace of them. Instead, the show tells us that these giants are Sasquatch-like creatures and they are related to UFOs—just like the “Aliens and Bigfoot” episode of Ancient Aliens! We hear more claims about alien abductions and UFO sightings in the Solomon Islands, but not a shred of proof is offered that such stories are true.

[Note: This passage has been edited to remove incorrect information. I originally thought they had digitally altered Jacob Zahn's 1696 image of a mermaid to make it look fishier, when in fact they used Guillaume Rondelet's 1554 engraving of the same, which is apparently Zahn's source. I had no idea Zahn stole his mermaid from an earlier work. I apologize for the error.]
After the commercial, the second half of the show opens with Nan Madol and its massive basalt ruins constructed atop 92 manmade islands off Pohnpei. The show argues that the people of the city, being primitive brown people, simply could not have built them on their own because the blocks are too heavy for ancient people to lift and transport using muscle, ropes, levers, and boats. That’s just silly! Instead, sorcerers used “auditive levitation” to fly the stone using magic sound waves. Remains of this sound wave technology, of course, conveniently disappeared without a trace. The show asserts that the city is cursed and that the German governor died in 1907 the day after visiting the site as a result of the curse. Dr. Viktor Berg, the German colonial deputy governor of Pohnpei at the time, in fact died of sunstroke and exhaustion, according to the official records, shortly after excavating the tomb of Isokelekel. Later excavators of the tomb suffered no ill effects. The show fails to note that the “curse” was invoked at the time because Berg had been hated by the natives for his imposition of harsh German colonial policies, including disarmament and restrictions on cultural expression. It was part of native efforts to resist colonial rule, a constant source of tension during the German administration of the island.

The “second,” sunken city off Nan Madol offered up by David Childress does not exist. Repeated dives have found only natural rock formations.

After this we hear about Sandy Island, a cartographic mistake. Captain Cook recorded the existence of an island at one spot, which was never confirmed, but after 1876, a whaling ship asserted, through an apparent mistake of measurement, that it was located at a different spot four degrees of longitude away. Because Australian navigational policy at the time required all potential hazards to be marked, it entered Australian maps and thus continued its half-formed existence until 2013, since no one bothered to check if the 1876 report was correct. Map makers did, however, note it as “ED” (“Existence Doubtful”) from 1879 to 2013. The 1876 report likely inaccurately reported the location of the Chesterfield Islands, 100 km away. Ancient Aliens instead tells us that the aliens are cloaking the island with secret technology that bends light.

If Ancient Aliens were a drinking game, and one had to drink each time Childress says “you have to wonder,” we would all be dead by now. Also: Did you notice that Jason Martell is now wearing the same “Columbian flyer” lapel pin as Tsoukalos, and that they both have the same jacket and open shirt combination? Coincidence or alien sartorial plot?

Tsoukalos describes the Greek mythological falling star islands, which I covered the first time he discussed them.

We finish with Hy-Brasil, a mythic island in the Atlantic. Early navigators tried to find it, but the show is wrong to say John Cabot landed there. Instead, Pedro de Ayala identified the new lands Cabot found in America with Hy-Brasil. John Nisbet claimed that large black rabbits lived on the island—and the show uses its graphics to imply without words that these were aliens with large, floppy antennae. As with so many other legends, the story is nothing more than a combination of wishful thinking, distorted mythology, mirages, and mistakes—and more than a little hoaxing.

21 Comments
Only Me
11/30/2013 05:02:42 am

I've found that the one way to make this program tolerable, is to reply to their "what if" questions with the same reply Giorgio makes in answer to his own questions...."Of course not!"

When they started talking about "disappearing islands", I thought, "Hey, this is something new." Of course, they immediately dove head first into the Kool-Aid, suggesting the use of alien technology. As you mentioned, this should be easy to test. Even if an island is cloaked, it's still a physical object, interacting with waves and currents. If it can't be seen, what happens when a boat collides with it? What if, during the search for them, an aircraft flies low and smacks into a cliff? Cloaked doesn't equal intangible.

Next, we're supposed to believe that some of these islands are free-floating around to new locations, with no reports existing of anyone observing this...even in a digital age with satellite surveillance. Somehow, we can track icebergs--but not *islands*.

Just to put the final nail in the coffin, their own narration said that Hy-Brasil could be seen, but *could not* be reached, only to turn a 180 and claim that different explorers landed there and brought back gold!

This show has scraped the bottom of the barrel, chipped through it, and has started scraping the bottom of the barrel under the first.

Reply
Chief
12/9/2013 07:59:35 am

I'm pretty sure they use this. I don't know if you can get links in these comments, if not it's "Sea Monster, illustration from 'Libri de Piscibus Marinis' by Guillaume Rondelet, published 1554 (engraving)" on Bridgeman Art Library.

http://www.bridgemanart.com/en-US/asset/444352/french-school-16th-century/sea-monster-illustration-from-libri-de-piscibus-marinis-by-guillaume-rondelet-published-1554-engraving?search_context=%7B%22url%22%3A%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bridgemanart.com%2Fen-US%2Fsearch%3Ffilter_group%3Dall%26filter_text%3Dsea%2520monster%26sort_order%3Dbest_relevance%22%2C%22filter%22%3A%7B%22filter_bw%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_colour%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_creator_id%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_footage%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_group%22%3A%22all%22%2C%22filter_horizontal%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_image%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_illustration%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_location_id%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_object%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_orientation%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_photograph%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_square%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_supplier_prefix%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_text%22%3A%22sea%20monster%22%2C%22filter_text_within_new%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_text_within_queue%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_vertical%22%3Anull%2C%22filter_web_category_id%22%3Anull%2C%22original_filter_text%22%3A%22sea%20monster%22%2C%22filter_searchoption_id%22%3A%224%22%7D%2C%22num_results%22%3A%22401%22%2C%22item_index%22%3A%22126%22%2C%22sort_order%22%3A%22best_relevance%22%2C%22search_type%22%3A%22search_assets%22%7D

Reply
Jason Colavito link
12/9/2013 08:06:45 am

Thank you for the information. I have corrected the text above to reflect this. I apologize for the error; I had no idea Zahn had stolen his famous drawing from an earlier, near-identical one.

drew hempel link
11/30/2013 08:19:27 am

http://innersoundqigong.blogspot.com/2013/11/blog-post.html

Qigong Master Telekinesis aka psychokinesis videos - a compilation: Skeptics debunked!

Yeah it's easy to debunk the ancient alien b.s. but even easier to ignore the pink elephant in the room.

Reply
Clint Knapp
11/30/2013 05:12:40 pm

I'm still waiting on my distance-healing diagnosis. I had a cold last week, so I assume you have not yet begun your work. I'm not sure why you feel the need to push your anecdotal superpowers around for all to marvel at if you're not going to actually do anything but complain about not being given equal debunking time...

For that matter, if these mighty powers are so real and so infallible, why bother with skeptics and the internet at all? Shouldn't such marvelous abilities demand that one put them to use altruistically in every conceivable manner instead of debating whether they exist with people who don't care about the debate?

Reply
drew hempel link
12/1/2013 03:03:46 am

You could have just called 952-593-5555 to get a phone healing! Do it and then report back what you feel. As a skeptic you're the perfect candidate to disprove the placebo effect. haha. Until then your tactic of willful ignorance only will delay the truth.

Gary
12/1/2013 03:30:08 am

These guys could have easily won the JREF million dollars. What happened? Are they too busy and too uncharitable to bother to win it to give to the needy?

Reply
drew hempel link
12/1/2013 07:12:23 am

James is the real fake. http://www.dailygrail.com/features/the-myth-of-james-randis-million-dollar-challenge

http://stevevolk.com/archives/1040

Gary
12/1/2013 08:03:15 am

I don't find that one sided article convincing. Why go on about "odds" unless you are in a guessing game. Either you can clearly demonstrate a skill or you can't. The charlatans don't like it when they don't control their illusions, just as any stage magician would not like it. The tricks just don't bear close examination.

drew hempel link
12/1/2013 03:06:17 am

The qigong master I know does tons of free healing all the time. But I'm not gonna give out his personal phone number. haha. Sorry! They do need money to survive so you have to call the qigong center to get healed. But there is a "Free Friday" once a month if you want to travel to the center to get a free sample healing.

Reply
Kevin
12/3/2013 03:00:57 am

I like this show. They do dive into "ALIENS. IT SOUNDS LIKE A MECHANICAL SPACECRAFT" too quickly, almost to the point of it being comedic.

What I like about it is, it shows cool things and mysterious places/events, and then they say "Aliens could have done this" which isn't necessarily true.

Take for example this episode and the island of Pohnpei. They did not once say anything about how "primitive brown" people couldn't have fashioned man made islands. You're putting words in their mouths. They were simply marvelling at the fact that in times before advanced machinery, human beings some how managed to construct islands and lift gargantuan amounts of stone to build tall structures. The fact is, no matter how it they were made, nobody can recreate it today using the methods thought to have been available to these people at the time, and it's amazing and impressive to think about HOW it was done.

Reply
Jason Colavito link
12/3/2013 03:28:39 am

They did not marvel that humans built Nan Madol; they specifically argue how alien technology was responsible! That's the complete opposite of marveling at human achievement.

Reply
Only Me
12/3/2013 06:53:48 am

This, "nobody can recreate ___ today" (and its variants), is my favorite saying from AA supporters.

Nan Madol, Puma Punku, Stonehenge, the moai of Easter Island, the pyramids of Giza, the stones at Baalbek, etc., CAN NOT be reproduced by man today, with modern technology. Yet, ancient man did all these things. And no mention of other such achievements, such as, oh, I don't know....Roman aqueducts, the Parthenon, the Great Wall, the Colosseum, the Pantheon, amphitheatres, The Seven Wonders of the World!

I truly feel sorry for anyone who can look at these things and honestly believe that they were beyond human scope. That only extra-terrestrials are deserving of the emotions invoked by such majestic products of genius.

Alien Master
12/7/2013 07:55:09 pm

Because we descend from extra-terrestrials so of course we are marveling at human achievement until religion decided to hide the truth of our origins.

Reply
Aliens are real link
5/26/2015 03:39:41 pm

So true. Right on!! My favorite show, they make so many valid good points, and scientist can't explain most of what happened in ancient times, like their theory that they used rocks and twigs to build astounding structures, using 100+ ton rocks stacked one on top of another or how they moved them from 300 miles away without the wheel! And oh yeah, supposedly no writing or math was involved in some of the buildind of these structures. Yet we couldnt do that today WITH our technology. I'm telling you guys...aliens are real!! Lol :)

Reply
LS
12/11/2013 01:06:48 pm

Its always a shame to see serious academics including some top scholars, appear on Ancient Aliens because the show just uses them to set up the talking heads so they can shout "aliens!" Ronald Hutton who appears briefly to explain Manx faery mythology, is one of the foremost scholars of Neo-Paganism specifically on Gerald Gardner and the development of Wicca. That said I feel particularly sorry for their regular academic supporting cast, the classicist, the foklorist, the physicist etc.

Reply
JP
7/26/2014 04:15:56 am

I hear talking, but no ones walking. Bring in the engineers and lets have a reality show.

Reply
KTKelley
5/29/2015 03:15:44 am

One question people if aliens are not real then explain puma punka the precision cut andocite one of the hardest stones on the planet the inverted right angles the precision cut interlocking notches this particular structure has been studied for decades and nobody has been able to provide any scientific answer for these extra ordinary building methods that provided pre fashioned uniform building blocks that interlocked to provide many different possible configurations to be built with a zero tolerance clearance on every joint not even a human hairs width if somebody has an answer id love to hear it

Reply
Sekhmet
8/15/2015 08:45:19 pm

Easy, those stones were NOT precision cut and archaeologists do know how they were built using the stone DNS copper tools of the day. The Ancient Aliens morons never present both sides of an argument or even a halfway competitent version of their own.

Reply
Catchphrase Jackson
9/27/2015 07:18:48 pm

When are you going to continue reviewing these H2 shows again?

-Ducks don't quack if the flipper don't flap.

Reply
Disbatch7
1/15/2019 10:18:26 pm

The term theory is used throughout all the episodes.

Reply

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