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Review of Ancient Aliens S07E04 "Alien Encounters"

8/15/2014

28 Comments

 
Since the first three episodes of this season of Ancient Aliens has had very little to do with anything ancient or extraterrestrial, it seems that the producers decided on a course correction for episode four. S07E04 “Alien Encounters” takes us back to a more “classic” form of ancient astronautics, one in which any god is necessarily an alien, with the exception of Jesus, and UFOs are found anywhere and everywhere lights shine in darkness. In other words, this is still more repetition of what we’ve heard many times before.
We open with an examination of the 2011 Japanese earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear disaster. Since this is too recent to be ancient, the only connection to the show’s theme comes from an assertion that flying saucers were seen near the Fukishima nuclear plant. William Henry thinks that the aliens “stabilized” the nuclear plant to prevent a meltdown, and David Childress says the same thing in the form of a question but without the inflection of a question. Supposedly, UFOs were also seen at Chernobyl during its nuclear meltdown. Aliens love nuclear power, as we all know, but there isn’t even a hint of evidence for any of this. Cameras were trained on Fukishima during the meltdown crisis, and yet there is no video of these flying saucers…

David Wilcock, who believes that Jewish financiers and Reptilians are planning global genocide, says that the aliens control and plot out human history. It must be exhausting for them, planning out every YouTube video, meme, and wardrobe malfunction to keep our society moving in their preferred direction. The narrator tells us that to understand how it all works we need to review the “earliest alien encounters ever recorded”—which is a stretch since ancient astronaut theorists tell us that they need to interpret ancient texts because ancient people didn’t realize they were talking to aliens and therefore didn’t record talking to aliens.

So, we here these familiar chestnuts repeated almost verbatim from earlier episodes:

  • Yahweh is actually a UFO that hovered over Mt. Sinai (S05E07)
  • Gabriel is an alien who spoke to Muhammad (S05E09)

After the break, the ancient astronaut theorists discuss Constantine’s vision of the cross before his climactic battle against Maxentius at Milvian Bridge. Giorgio Tsoukalos says that Constantine saw an airplane, its wings forming a cross. The vision of Constantine is more ambiguous that the show pretends. Constantine’s contemporary Lactantius, writing in On the Death of the Persecutors 44.5, is commanded in a dream to inscribe a cross on his shields. Eusebius, another contemporary, is silent on any vision at all in his Ecclesiastical History, but in his Life of Constantine he gives the famous account of the sky vision:
But at the time above specified, being struck with amazement at the extraordinary vision, and resolving to worship no other God save Him who had appeared to him, he sent for those who were acquainted with the mysteries of His doctrines, and enquired who that God was, and what was intended by the sign of the vision he had seen. They affirmed that He was God, the only begotten Son of the one and only God: that the sign which had appeared was the symbol of immortality, and the trophy of that victory over death which He had gained in time past when sojourning on earth. They taught him also the causes of His advent, and explained to him the true account of His incarnation. Thus he was instructed in these matters, and was impressed with wonder at the divine manifestation which had been presented to his sight. Comparing, therefore, the heavenly vision with the interpretation given, he found his judgment confirmed; and, in the persuasion that the knowledge of these things had been imparted to him by Divine teaching, he determined thenceforth to devote himself to the reading of the Inspired writings. (trans. Ernest Cushing Richardson)
The trouble is that this is almost certainly Christian propaganda. It doesn’t appear in the contemporary Lactantius, who was a counselor of Constantine and would have had something to say about it beyond “it was all a dream.”

After this we discuss the Virgin of Guadalupe, a vision of a woman in white seen in Mexico in 1531. David Wilcock claims that splotches of paint in pupils of the famous image of the Virgin contains a photographic image of the people who first saw the painting. The show fabricates this with computer graphics, and everyone on the show decides that the vision of the Virgin must be real but has to be (a) an alien or (b) evil because the Virgin’s teachings do not match those of a certain interpretation of the Bible. But if the story is fake, then we don’t have to worry about any of that at all.

After the break, we talk about the storm that destroyed the Spanish Armada in 1588. Why? Weather is apparently controlled by aliens. The show blames Dr. John Dee because he claimed to be in communication with angels, and we all know that angels are really aliens. He’s been discussed on the show before, too (S06E04). Jason Martell seems to think that Dee had real contact with otherworldly beings, but no one quotes a word of Dee’s writings. Instead, Wilcock explains that the aliens (i.e., Jews) wanted to keep the English monarchy intact in order to protect Shakespeare and Newton, whose future works the aliens already planned because aliens are Anglophiles. You see, the English are the chosen people of the earth (at least until 1776), and were protected by a divine force from what William Henry calls the “darkness” of the Catholics and the Latin peoples of southern Europe.

After the next break, we discuss the origins of Mormonism. Joseph Smith made many different claims about the visions he supposedly saw at the founding of his faith, but the show pretends that none of the many variants exist and instead accepts the story of Smith’s visit with Moroni in the canonical form told by Mormons today. In other versions, every detail was different, down to the name of the angel and even the number of angels. But we know this because this segment is a recapitulation of an earlier discussion from S05E07. This leads to a discussion of angels and whether angels are really aliens in disguise. Moroni is said to have come from the Pleiades, but I’m not sure that this is an actual Mormon teaching since I see references to it only in anti-Mormon tracts from the nineteenth century. At any rate, the show insists that Moroni came to bring humanity to spiritual enlightenment, but they don’t explain why the aliens felt compelled to lie to humanity by filling the Book of Mormon with archaeologically unsupportable notions. Do ancient astronaut theorists support the claim that the Jews were the first inhabitants of America? Or that dark-skinned Native Americans committed mass genocide against white Jews? My guess is that none of them read that far to realize that’s what it’s about.

In the next segment, we talk about the way the Greek Fates controlled human destiny and compare this to other concepts of destiny and fate around the world. David Childress mentions the goat-headed goddess Mamitu and asserts that she lives in the sky with the Anunnaki. That isn’t true. She lives underground in the Underworld with the subterranean Anunnaki, the chthonic deities. (Marduk sent half to the sky and half underground at the creation.)

Not interested in pursuing this any further, Kathleen McGowan Coppens, who believes she is the reincarnation of Mary Magdalene, tells us about John Parkinson’s dream that helped inspire the M-9 anti-aircraft weapon systems of World War II. There’s nothing to this story other than the assertion that in addition to manipulating all of world history, extraterrestrials also speak to us in our dreams, like Cthulhu: “the Great Old Ones spoke to the sensitive among them by moulding their dreams; for only thus could Their language reach the fleshly minds of mammals.” After the break, more dreams are discussed and claimed to be the result of alien transmissions that stimulate specific cells in our brains (through what, the “vibrations”?). So why did the aliens need to show up in their flying saucers and walk around in space suits if they could also mold the “fleshly minds of mammals” in their sleep? Aliens are weird.

The aliens are cosmic guidance counselors who want us to improve our technology, David Wilcock says, apparently unconcerned that he also preaches that aliens are plotting to kill us all when he’s on Russian television and on his website.

So, in sum, we (re-)learned:

  • Aliens control not just our technology and our environment, but also our thoughts.
  • All gods, demigods, and prophets are aliens or in league with aliens except for Jesus, but especially anyone associated with Judaism and Islam.
  • There is no difference between a god and an alien except for whether they have a spaceship, and the aliens don’t always need spaceships anymore anyway.

The show claims humanity has a teleological path of ascension that will reunite us with the aliens in a quasi-spiritual New Jerusalem. Don’t tell that to David Wilcock or Jim Marrs. They still think the aliens are plotting to kills us all.



28 Comments
BillUSA
8/15/2014 03:36:11 pm

Y'know, there was this guy who thought he saw a UFO trailing an incoming comet.....

Do you sometimes wonder that these "xenotheorists" could invent stories ad infinitum despite the mountains of logic and evidence placed before them?

It's like a virus that can mutate in defense of itself every time a new cure is found.

Reply
EP
8/15/2014 03:43:45 pm

Jason, I think I have a hypothesis about the Mormon-Pleiades connection. According to their scriptures, Moroni is hails from Kolob, which is a star or planet closest to God. God's seat, in the Mormon cosmology, is at the center of the universe, which locates Kolob, as the place closest to God, near the center of the universe.

Now the Pleiades were thought by some 19th century astronomers to be the geometrical center of the universe. This idea was embraced by the early Jehovah's Witnesses, apparently leading them to place their God there as well. At least one Mormon text, "The Book of Abraham", seems to associate Kolob with the Pleiades.

(Commence waiting for the thread to be shat up by spammers...)

Reply
dan reilly
3/21/2021 10:04:56 pm

thanx, i've been looking for anything that addresses david wilcock's assertion....i just wanted to know where wilcock got this idea, which two other ancient alien commentators also parroted...and you say he got it from the book of abraham, but you also say it only SEEMS to associate kolob with the pletdes.... what does SEEMS mean? can you tell me the actual passage and quote it and tell me the mormon equivalent of the chapter and verse or the page number in the book of abraham. millions watch ancient aliens and i'm sure many would like to take them to task for their conclusions. e-mail an answer if you know where the quotation from the book of abraham is.

Reply
Only Me
8/15/2014 03:55:28 pm

I guess Wilcock and Marrs didn't get the memo. Yes, the aliens have to kill us...so we can reunite with them in that "quasi-spiritual New Jerusalem".

When they're not screwing with our dreams like interstellar Sandmen.

Reply
EP
8/15/2014 03:59:03 pm

No man, it's like this: The Jew-aliens that are planning to kill us. The Aryan-aliens are all ascendy and enlighteny like.

Reply
Only Me
8/15/2014 04:16:27 pm

Oh, right. The (BUM-BUM-BUMMM!) Jew-aliens. I wonder if this and the Ark having a Star of David-shaped keel aren't people remembering a fucked up version of the movie preview in "History of the World, Part 1".

You know, "Jews in Space", where they flew around in starships shaped like the Star of David (Starships of David)?

EP
8/15/2014 04:28:37 pm

I wanted to write something witty in response, but my heart's just not in it after "." evacuated all over my awesome "hooked x" trademark observation... :(

(I don't normally let shitposters get to me... But this one... someone hold me...)

Oh, yeah - your comment highlights the whole "people didn't know what the Ark looked like" absurdity... sigh...

EP
8/15/2014 07:20:10 pm

I recommended Jason consider Disqus. I don't see why everyone wouldn't be better off with something like it. (Everyone except for the likes of ".", I mean.)

.
8/15/2014 04:55:06 pm

whatever it was that Saint Constantine saw, somehow i
doubt it was an airplane or UFO for there is an etherial
aspect to the vision he and his army saw. the science guys
of the Enlightenment did not have an answer for this phenom!

Reply
Ken Ham v. Bill Nye link
8/16/2014 05:41:55 am

YO! Explain this!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3013146.stm

http://www.sott.net/article/148199-Did-a-meteor-over-central-Italy-in-AD-312-change-the-course-of-Roman-and-Christian-history

http://www.spacetoday.org/SolSys/Earth/Meteorites/MeteoriteChristians.html

http://www.lpi.usra.edu/meetings/lpsc2007/pdf/1092.pdf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sirente_crater

Reply
!!!!
8/15/2014 05:03:15 pm

forget what i have said about Claudius the Second
and Constantine and dynasties... or even nepotism...

GT just drafted an entire very militant Christian army

into GT's religious theology without their permission!


Reply
Ken Ham v. Bill Nye
8/16/2014 05:45:55 am

Jets have vapor trails, meteors have vapor trails
but most UFOs are said NOT to have vapor trails
as they make abrupt turns. The vapor trails of jets
and meteorites are often very linear and straight.

Reply
Chris
8/16/2014 03:53:46 am

Jason,

Not to nitpick (as I did not watch the show nor am I familiar with all the ancient sources) but didn't Constantine supposedly put a Chi Rho on his standards, not a cross? If so, this would make Tsoukalos's airplane theory even more preposterous than it already was.

Reply
Not the Comte de Saint Germain
8/16/2014 05:49:27 am

Yes.

Reply
EP
8/16/2014 05:51:24 am

Um... well... Chi sorta *looks* like a *kind* of cross... Erm... (tough crowd)

Jim
8/16/2014 08:03:36 pm

The Chi Rho kind of looks like an X-Wing fighter from Star Wars, which proves Constantine did in fact see a space ship. Furthermore, as shown in the Empire Strikes Back, Luke piloted his X-Wing fighter from Hoth to Dagobah and then to Cloud City, so they are capable of interstellar flight.

Reply
Chopper Pilot
8/16/2014 08:07:56 pm

It is actually a logo for a helicopter.
it has four blades and a compartment
for the pilot and at least a passenger.

Only Me
8/16/2014 10:46:48 pm

@ Chopper Pilot

How many aliases are you going to use, J.A. Dickey?

EP
8/17/2014 09:44:26 am

And yet you manage to be a 1000x worse poster.

.
8/16/2014 04:29:22 am

yes... the CHI-RHO was on their shields
and this was done before the advance to the
Liri River. Cornell Wilde, who is usually
a very wooden actor, did an excellent bio-flic
that is loosely based on Eusebius. the AA
theory does not let etherial visions or mystical
insights remain inside their respective religious
denominations. Do not think the recent movie
CONSTANTINE is a about the Roman emperor.
Clearly there has not been a decent biography
on him with an adequate profit margin for about
a half century. Hollywood is perhaps very remiss.

Reply
Franken New York
8/16/2014 08:53:01 am

The show says Watson (or Crick) claimed to have seen the Double Helix in a dream but it has been widely accepted for a long time that Crick and Watson stole the idea (and possibly physical proof) of the Helix from Rosalind Franklin. So AA is just passing along a plagiarizing thief's long debunked cover story.

Reply
gabriel darke link
8/16/2014 09:26:17 am

Why is this series not dead already? I have a hard time taking titles such as 'author and researcher' seriously. Apparently because you've written a book or books, not necessarily scholarly, good or truthful, based on information you've studied that is not necessarily accurate, unbiased or complete, makes you an authority on this subject.

Oh, wait a second . . .

Yes, it does!

They really should've stopped after the miniseries back in 2009, or whenever the hell that was. Earnestness does not make up for a lack of scholarship, factual evidence and credibility.

It's gotten to the point where it isn't even entertainment any more.

Reply
Harry
8/17/2014 04:40:18 am

If the God of Israel is an alien and Jesus is his Son, then it seems to me that Jesus must necessarily be an alien too.

Jason, has AA stated that Jesus is not an alien, or are they merely silent on that issue?

Reply
CHV
8/18/2014 11:37:08 am

I'd never thought I'd say this, but AA is so extreme in terms of logical gymnastics that it makes Scott Wolter seem clear-headed and reasonable by comparison.

Reply
CHF01
8/19/2014 07:48:03 am

Yeah...it's almost like they are spinning stories and releasing new episodes as quickly as possible to capitalize on the money making machine.

Reply
CHV
8/19/2014 10:49:59 am

I'm sure that's the case. I just don't understand who the demographic audience is for these shows as they're so ridiculous. Whichever it is, I can't see them having much more than a basic high school education with the reasoning skills of a turnip.

CHF01
8/21/2014 12:11:47 pm

next up: Aliens and Superheroes <rolleyes>

Doug DeLong
1/23/2015 12:19:38 pm

Your discourse on the Mormon faith is flawed, disrespectful and filled with errors. Freedom of speech allows us to publish whatever we wish but for those who cherish the truth: the author is entirely unacquainted with that concept.

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