Who says that watching cable crap is a waste of time? According to an article in the Sarasota, Florida Herald Tribune, my coverage of the premiere episode of Hangar 1: The UFO Files last year helped prompt a showdown between MUFON and the History Channel when my discussion of fabricated documents producers created for the program without disclosing they were fakes had MUFON executives scrambling to save their credibility—or at least that’s the implication of an article discussing a feud between MUFON and Robert Hastings, who cited me in discussing the show’s missteps. The newspaper says that MUFON’s executive director, Jan Harzan, told them that “as a result of season one’s accuracy problems, he told History he needed a MUFON review board to preview each episode to minimize mistakes.” Harzan added, though, that the program isn’t meant for people who value accuracy. “If you’re a stickler for details like Robert is, then it’s just not going to work for you.” That description could apply equally well to any given episode of Ancient Aliens. This episode, however, bothered me for a different reason. S08E02 “NASA’s Secret Agenda” seemed like it would be a retread of S04E05 “The NASA Connection” from 2012 until it revealed itself as a different angle on previous episodes attributing genius to psychic alien signals. Apparently the producers thought their audience would not know the name of Wernher von Braun, so they gave it a deceptive name based on the more famous NASA, an agency that features in only about half the episode, with a secret agenda discussed only in the last thirteen minutes of the hour. In other words, it is another bait and switch. Segment 1 Over the past few seasons, Ancient Aliens has tried to tell us that geniuses have no actual genius but instead channel their insights from space aliens. They’ve applied this Theosophical dogma to Albert Einstein and Nikola Tesla, and tonight they add Wernher von Braun to the list. The show portrays von Braun as the driving force placing public opinion squarely on the side of exploring space, attributing this to the educational films he made for Walt Disney, a company that owns half of the network this show airs on. The narrator suggests to us that von Braun’s father’s praise of his talent (“I don’t know where it comes from!”) was not the usual parental puffery but instead some sort of vague reference to aliens, and they say that he likely developed his interest in space from contemporary science fiction novels and movies of the 1920s. Nick Pope offers two choices: von Braun developed an obsession with space from science fiction or aliens. David Wilcock speculates that von Braun might have had an alien encounter, but this conclusion, as Giorgio Tsoukalos concedes, is based entirely on the circular logic of ancient astronaut theorists’ own claim that humans are incapable of independent genius, as their own ramblings repeatedly prove. Segment 2 In 1937 von Braun joined the Nazi party, by command according to von Braun, but he would later misrepresent his party membership to the American government. In 1940, he joined the Allgemeine SS, which had half a million members, but he was eventually arrested as an alleged communist sympathizer. During his work with the Nazis, he developed the V-2 rocket, the first manmade object to enter space. The narrator asks whether this achievement occurred entirely due to an investment of resources and money, or whether the Ahnenerbe—the Aryan archaeology unit of the SS—gave von Braun ancient rocketry tips, since aliens, as we know, travel between worlds with mid-twentieth century rocket technology. David Childress asserts that Ahnenerbe archaeologists discovered alien artifacts that von Braun reverse engineered. David Wilcock then gives us the story of the crash of a UFO in Poland recovered by Nazis. You’ll remember this story because it is a Polish-Russian adaptation of a nearly identical story invented by a Neo-Nazi named Jan van Helsing in one of his racist books, one cited on Tsoukalos’s In Search of Aliens last year. Ancient Aliens dumps the van Helsing version (set in the Black Forest in Germany) and instead endorses the version set in Czernica in what is now Poland (on the property of the parents of Eva Braun no less!), a story with no factual evidence to support it. Nevertheless, Childress rhapsodizes about how advanced the Nazis were, and whether intentionally or due to bad editing, Childress—who in his books identified the white race as the ancient master race of Atlantis and Mu, ruling over the black race—seems to be praising the Nazis. Segment 3 This segment describes von Braun’s work in the United States after the war, and it covers the claims of Roswell conspiracy theorist Philip Corso that von Braun worked on the recovered Roswell disc at White Sands, thus giving him the technology needed to build America’s rockets. Because alien ships are powered by rockets. We also review Ancient Aliens’ favorite Nazi artifact, the imaginary “Bell” time-travel device, which never existed. Even if it did, Ancient Aliens and In Search of Aliens both told us over the past few years that it traveled through time from 1944 to the 1960s, when it crashed in Kecksberg, Pennsylvania. It can’t be lost in space-time and in von Braun’s possession! Segment 4 This segment covers von Braun’s work with Walt Disney to develop public support for space exploration, though von Braun was neither the first nor the only person so working, nor was the desire to reach space confined to the United States. As the program obliquely notes, the Soviets had some interest in space, too. Were the aliens helping them? The narrator is silent on how the Soviets managed to get Sputnik into space on their own while von Braun needed aliens to help America catch up in the space race. Nick Pope feels that exponential developments in technology are confusing, because he doesn’t understand exponential growth, or how discoveries build on each other at ever-increasing rates. The narrator next tells us that math is hard. That’s why we have aliens. How else, the narrator asks, could von Braun have determined as far back as the benighted 1950s things like the gravitational force of the moon, or how to time out a mission to make sure the spacecraft met the moon? Certainly, it couldn’t be done by calculation… No, it had to be aliens! Segment 5 In the last quarter of the episode, Ancient Aliens ran out of things to say about Wernher von Braun, so they switch to conspiracy theories about NASA and the moon. Why? Well, for one things government agencies, like dead people, can’t sue for libel, so they can say anything about them without needing to fact check or get legal clearance. For another thing, they need to justify the title of the episode somehow, since there has so far been no NASA secret agenda discussed. At the moon landing, NASA left a small gold olive branch representing peace (gold because gold does not tarnish) and a recording of greetings. Ancient astronaut theorists suggest that this was meant to communicate with aliens, and that von Braun knew that aliens would someday wage war on us. (That’s a misunderstanding of his belief that nuclear war was unthinkable and would only occur against an outside threat to earth.) Then we hear some various conspiracies about how astronauts supposedly investigated a hexagonal feature on the moon to recover alien artifacts, and that another crater has rocks that Mike Bara thinks look like technology and a metal skull when raw photo negatives were enhanced and manipulated beyond their original resolution. Bara claims that the crater was formed by an explosion that blew up some humanoid metal robots. Bara is seeing things in ambiguous images of randomly shaped rock fragments—pareidolia. Segment 6
History’s new schedule of running Ancient Aliens three minutes past 10:00 PM to goose the ratings of Missing in Alaska annoys me because it messes up my DVR recordings while I review this steaming turd. As we approach the top of the hour, the show asserts that von Braun is somehow responsible for private space exploration companies, and they seem upset about the idea that someone other than the government might be up in space. But why? First the government is somehow evil and trying to suppress the truth, but now the government is the only legitimate space explorers? Apparently private companies have a “breakaway civilization” in which the super-rich will float off into the heavens to live with the aliens, while the schmucks left on earth will wallow in oppression on a poor, dying planet. It doesn’t take much to see social anxieties about economic inequality reflected in this, which I admit to describing a bit less subtly than the ignoramuses on Ancient Aliens did, largely because they don’t seem to be aware of their own underlying anxieties. The show finishes with a rapid-fire recap of famous claims about Martian monuments, and they tell us that NASA has uncovered alien artifacts from such ruins. David Wilcock asks if there is a secret moon colony that is “classified” and we aren’t allowed to know about. But I thought that the one percent in their breakaway civilization were behind it all. Why would NASA help carry their water when they somehow stopped NASA exploration in its tracks decades ago as part of a nefarious agenda? Conspiracies on top of conspiracies! Good thing Wilcock gets support from the Russians to appear on their programs, too, and accuse America of wrongdoing. You never can be too careful about which oppressive, tyrannical regime is really in charge. Best to work both sides.
33 Comments
Hugh
8/1/2015 12:24:26 am
Regarding your review of AA last week, I've watched it 3 times now and cannot find any segment discussing the Bimini Wall where you say that Collins said it was 12,000 years old. Bimini isn't mentioned at all! It does talk about an underwater form at Andros and Collins said that it was above water during the last Ice Age. Where is the Bimini Wall mentioned?
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8/1/2015 02:18:50 am
They don't mention it by name. They show a picture of it, or something very much like it, and talk about "archaeological finds in the Bahamas." I took it that they intended us to read all of the natural formations around the Bahamas as part of one sunken Atlantis.
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bkd69
8/1/2015 12:51:39 am
And no mention of Goddard? That could have padded things out nicely, and made a nice tie in to the NASA segments.
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dlefhcie
8/1/2015 03:31:04 am
I had the same thought about the Soviets that you had while I was watching the show. They put the first human in space, somehow without Wernher von Braun and his secret alien information. But that kind of thinking requires logic and common sense, none of which we will ever find among the talking heads on Ancient Aliens.
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Duke of URL
8/1/2015 05:31:03 am
That's because all the Russians in charge ARE aliens. You don't believe me? Google up some photographs of Breznev, Khrushchev, Gorbachov and more - LOOK at those heads - /Now/ try and tell me they're human!
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Duke of URL
8/1/2015 05:33:50 am
"a hexagonal feature on the moon" ... Damnit, I TOLD the Council "Build in irregular shapes, NOT perfect circles or Mogen Davids!" I told them and told them, that will tip off the subjects.
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Shane Sullivan
8/1/2015 05:41:27 am
Pfft, Wilcock says he's had "insiders" tell him that they've worked on the breakaway civilization's space station. Well, the Cosmic Serpent appeared to me in a dream--not my dream, but *its* dream--and told me there is no breakaway civilization.
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spookyparadigm
8/1/2015 06:04:43 am
"Apparently private companies have a “breakaway civilization” in which the super-rich will float off into the heavens to live with the aliens, while the schmucks left on earth will wallow in oppression on a poor, dying planet. It doesn’t take much to see social anxieties about economic inequality reflected in this, which I admit to describing a bit less subtly than the ignoramuses on Ancient Aliens did, largely because they don’t seem to be aware of their own underlying anxieties."
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FrankenNewYork
8/2/2015 06:32:29 am
If I had a source that was connected with a breakaway civilization I would never be satisfied with being told about it, I'd want to be shown proof. (I'd really want to be brought into it and if I couldn't be I'd be truly sullen and resentful.) Wilcock is either completely credulous, and should be sold several bridges and some "secret" islands in the Pacific, or is so jaded he doesn't care what he says to make his paycheck.
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FrankeNewYork
8/1/2015 11:27:02 am
I was very upset when NASA announced they were discontinuing the Saturn V program, I couldn't see the logic in ending the heavy lifters when we still wanted to explore space. The Shuttle was a bus that sat in low Earth orbit, an orbit so low you couldn't see the whole planet from the altitudes it moved through. That being said the Saturn V never represented a gigantic leap in human technology it used conventional materials and principals to achieve a goal that was considered difficult but achievable. If he had pulled an anti-gravity drive out of his hat and sent us out of the Solar System and got us back, I might be more open to the idea that he was inspired by "something beyond" but I'd still be hard pressed to believe it. They should rename the program "Argument Out Of Ignorance" (We can't explain it so, aliens)
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the grim
8/2/2015 04:00:44 am
THIS SHOW IS SO DUMB! I GOT MY SONS 7 FRIENDS TO STOP WATCHING IT AFTER THE LIES GOT EXPOSED ON ANCIENT ALIENS DEBUNKED!
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The troll Krampus
8/2/2015 12:56:48 pm
THANK FUCKING GOD! PRAISE BE! <sarcastic mode:OFF> Seriously though, that's good.
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Al Macias
8/2/2015 04:13:31 am
This show is so retarded! Really aliens sending message to Von Braun! How frikkin dumb! My son is a 4.0 med student guess aliens are sending him messages too! what crap!
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The troll Krampus
8/2/2015 01:03:59 pm
Retarded show it is.
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Jennygirl00
8/2/2015 06:57:00 am
Wait a minute... When Von Braun jumped the Nazi ship to become a US scientist he must have brought his alien connections to the US. I bet Obama had alien luncheons all the time. Least we can thank the nazis for that..... ( joking)
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Tony
8/2/2015 09:44:50 am
"How else, the narrator asks, could von Braun have determined as far back as the benighted 1950s things like the gravitational force of the moon, or how to time out a mission to make sure the spacecraft met the moon? Certainly, it couldn’t be done by calculation… No, it had to be aliens!"
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Clete
8/2/2015 10:53:31 am
Please, don't give these guys ideas for any more episodes. They are all ready scraping the bottom of the barrel as it is. I await their episode "Ancient Aliens and toilet paper rolls".
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Dave
8/3/2015 01:41:07 am
Where is the historical evidence showing the development and testing of toilet paper rolls? It's as if toilet paper rolls simply came into existence fully formed and functional without any testing or failures. How is this possible? Georgio knows the answer.
Jennygirl00
8/3/2015 01:19:48 pm
Ideas for new episodes? Thats a joke right ... Lol.. I haven't seen a new idea in the last 4 seasons not to mention if you watch Giorgios show it's the same exact topics. Until they actually come up with some new theories or ideas Ideas for new episodes? Thats a joke right ... Lol.. I haven't seen a new idea in the last 4 seasons not to mention if you watch Giorgios show it's the same exact topics.
Dave
8/4/2015 01:42:31 am
Hey Jenny,
JJDow
8/3/2015 12:31:35 am
I gave up on this and Hangar 1 long ago. I've kept up on them and their idiocy via your summation and comment. Jason, I have to say that I feel grateful to you. You subject your self to the pain and suffering of these shows on our behalf. You must be a beneficiary of the Alien intelligence boosting, as I would have thought watching just a few episodes of these shows would turn anyone's brain to mush.
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8/3/2015 07:48:25 am
I joined the Illuminati and all I got were these lousy sheeple.
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8/3/2015 05:14:34 pm
I, too, joined the Illuminati and all I got was the clap.
The troll Krapmus
8/4/2015 02:15:48 am
You're a scamming piece of shit. No clear headed person would fall for such thing. You need to go and kill yourself for being a lying, cheating scumbag.
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Jennygirl00
8/3/2015 01:42:15 pm
Have to say at least Hangar 1 changes it up every week. I would love to know what half these people are seeing ... Can they all be lying ...any thoughts
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Dave
8/4/2015 01:48:02 am
I've never watched Hanger 1, but I know for a fact that the Ancient Aliens crew flat out lies. Even trying to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they believe what they're saying doesn't help because when I see them lying I believe they have to know they're lying.
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For good parody nothing beats Tom Leher song "Werner von Braun" from his album "That was the Year that was". As for receiving his knowledge from alien influences, if we take alien to mean anything none German, then yes, he received his information from the works of Professor Robert Goddard. Professor Goddard had not perfected and launched the first liquid fuel rocket in 1924, but had continued his work on rocketry thru 1920's and 1930's. He published widely on his results, but was generally ignored. American military intelligence was not only surprised but somewhat abashed when the German rocket scientists readily admitted they their got start from the work of Professor Goddard.
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AuthorI am an author and researcher focusing on pop culture, science, and history. Bylines: New Republic, Esquire, Slate, etc. There's more about me in the About Jason tab. Newsletters
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