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Review of Ancient Aliens S11E14 "The Returned"

8/26/2016

29 Comments

 
I’m not very excited for this episode of Ancient Aliens. We’ve done abduction episodes many times before, and I can’t say that I am more excited about rehashing that than I was about the fascinating material I learned from the FBI’s files on Amazing Stories editor Ray Palmer and Shaver Mystery author Richard Sharpe Shaver. Sadly, because of Ancient Aliens, I’ll have to postpone my discussion of what I have learned for another day.
Segment 1
We start with an account of the longstanding claim by Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the president of the autonomous Russian Federation republic of Kalmykia, first voiced in 2001, to have been abducted by aliens, which I covered last year. He believes, for example, that maize was created by space aliens. They name-check Betty and Barney Hill but don’t bother to talk about their abduction, lest they have to contend with its science fiction trappings. After describing a “typical” alien abduction, the show contradicts the idea that there is a template for such abductions by comparing them to the heavenly journeys of prophets, gods, and various heroes of myth and legend. None of them ever received an anal probe, despite the show’s claim that stories like those of Enoch and Ezekiel are “identical” to modern alien abductions.
 
To expand on this, the show tells us about the discovery of Angkor Wat in Cambodia because legend says that the architect of the temple rose up to heaven and returned with the building’s plans so that it could serve as a palace for the god Indra’s son Precha Ket Mealea. Giorgio Tsoukalos calls this the “best” story to prove the ancient astronaut theory. The trouble is that the architect of legend, Brah Bisnukar, is transparently a transcription of Visvakarman, a Hindu god of architecture repurposed for the new story. That his legend predates the existence of Angkor does not say much for its literal truth.
​
Segment 2
The second segment tries to convince us, based on the work of John Mack, that alien abduction is real because a lot of people believe they were abducted by aliens. This fallacious argumentum ad populum is not strictly speaking logical since many people believe in things like astrology and homeopathy despite their manifest untruthfulness. Abduction may be “real” in the sense that many people believe it happened to them, but their belief does not translate into objective reality, even if George Noory believes that hypnotic regression is a reliable method of recalling the past. Science tells us that this is not so, and Barney Hill’s recollection of The Outer Limits under hypnosis as his own abduction pretty much tells us that hypnosis isn’t going to lead us to aliens.
 
The show alleges that according to an International Community for Alien Research study of 34,000 abductees, people with green eyes and Rh-negative blood are more likely to be abducted, with 75% of abductees having blue or green eyes. The show returns to its fascination with Rh-negative blood from earlier episodes in this season, adding nothing to their earlier claims. Sadly, the ICAR study this is based upon is methodologically unsound, based as it was on online self-reporting conducted via a web survey on their website and Facebook and MySpace pages. Those self-reporting in an online forum about aliens are likely to share certain traits, such as being white people from Irish, Anglo-Saxon, or Northern European backgrounds, which over-represents blue and green eyes. Online poll takers are also more likely to lie.

Segment 3
The third segment has Whitley Streiber on to describe his abduction experience. He was famously anal-probed, and his probing inspired the 1990s wave of anal probing reports. The show doesn’t care about this, though, and instead tries to find evidence of alien implants in abductees. The various bits of metal and other debris are not terribly impressive, but the show alleges that the objects are of meteoric origin. I doubt that, honestly, and would need to see proof. In 2007, I cut my finger on a lamp, and a shard of metal became embedded in my finger. Doctors took x-rays and failed to find the shard. I continued to suffer pain, and a year later, the shard showed up on an x-ray, but the doctors said that surgery would likely cause nerve damage. It took three years, but the piece of metallic alloy finally worked its way out of my finger in a painful and creepy way. I had a small piece of metal cutting through my finger like a tiny claw. If I hadn’t remembered cutting my finger on the lamp, and didn’t know that’s what it was, surely this could have been passed off as an alien implant of strange unnatural metal.
​
Segment 4
The fourth segment had Linda Moulton Howe discuss her favorite 1990s abduction story, that of Jim Sparks, a man who claimed to have been abducted starting in 1988 and to have had visions of previous lives going back to pre-human times. As always, there is no evidence to support the story, but that’s par for the course with alien claims. Sparks offers a lot of claims, but talk is cheap. Surprisingly, the aliens managed not to provide him with actionable information that could prove communication with entities from another world, only the same drivel that anyone with an internet connection could Google. The segment concludes by teasing the next segment, about alien hybrids.

Segment 5
The fifth segment discusses last year’s bizarre story of Jeffrey Lash, the man who believed himself to be an alien hybrid in the government’s employ. Sadly, the show doesn’t admit that the man was mentally ill. They believe, for example, that he lacked fingerprints because he was an alien and not because he had purposely altered his fingers out of paranoia. The various talking heads are convinced that the entire Earth is lousy with hybrid aliens, though they don’t seem to be too bothered about it in real life. Surely, if they think that aliens are everywhere they would be a bit more worried. An “expert” tells us that hybrids are identical to humans but have sociopathic—sorry, telepathic—abilities to manipulate “real” humans. 
​
Segment 6
An apparent joke that the prime minister of Russia told in 2012 about getting a folder with alien secrets in it is taken for a fact, with the talking heads telling us that Dimitri Medvedev’s dry humor is actually serious statements of fact. The talking heads suggest that aliens want to replace us through breeding us out of existence, which is a strange parallel to white Americans’ fear that ethnic minorities will outbreed the white race. Apparently the all-white cast of the show is just as worried as white nationalists that Caucasians are too fragile to continue ruling the world. There is always a political dimension, and here it seems to be a fear that the old ruling class is not in charge any more.
29 Comments
Templar Secrets
8/26/2016 10:30:55 pm

3 forthcoming books by Nick Redfern

Women In Black: The Creepy Companions of The Mysterious M.I.B.

Immortality of The Gods: Legends, Mysteries, and The Alien Connection To Eternal Life

Secret Societies: The Complete Guide To Histories, Rites, and Rituals

Reply
Weatherwax
8/27/2016 01:08:10 am

Do you actually sit around waiting for the next blog post so you can immediately post pointless and unrelated comments?

Reply
Nanny Ogg
8/27/2016 03:40:35 am

Don't be a hypocrite Esme.

Templar Secrets
8/27/2016 07:26:43 am

Why are you posting
Don't post

Templar Secrets
8/27/2016 07:29:44 am

I see lots and lots of serious and technical messages about bullshit topics.

Weatherwax
8/27/2016 02:01:16 pm

"Why are you posting"

To ask why you keep obsessively posting of topic nonsense.

There are other places for that.

Templar Secrets
8/28/2016 06:33:19 am

No - not nonsense

Centuries of Biblical scholarship is nonsense.
Including the sceptical and critical Biblical scholarship of the 19th century.

Templar Secrets
8/28/2016 06:38:31 am

Flying Saucers
The subject matter was either invented by Ray Palmer and Ken Arnold - or Palmer exploited Arnold - take your pick

As for Roswell, that originated with a disappointed Radio Announcer who was rejected for promotion within the military and the press decided to exaggerate the radio broadcast, This fossil was later discovered by gullible phycisist Stanton Friedman when researching some other UFO author, (Note that Carl Sagan always avoided mentioning this person's name)

There is nothing nonsensical about these straightforward conclusions,

Clete
8/27/2016 12:47:00 pm

What makes you think that any of the regular readers of this blog would have any interest in reading books written by Nick Redfern?

Reply
Only Me
8/27/2016 02:16:40 am

Okay, if the aliens want to breed us out of existence, why are they abducting so many humans with blue or green eyes? If these hybrids are identical to humans, how do the "experts" know they are hybrids? Additionally, if the hybrids are manipulating humans via telepathy, how are the "experts" aware of this?

So, so much bullshit. I'm now waiting for a rehash episode that deals with people disappearing while exploring the mountain strongholds of aliens on islands that also disappear.

Reply
Templar Secrets
8/27/2016 07:28:06 am

The aliens previously bred Jesus Christ through Archangel Gabriel,

Reply
Only Me
8/27/2016 08:23:14 am

What interesting fanfiction you have there.

Templar Secrets
8/27/2016 01:51:43 pm

Why isn't Christianity more screwy than Flying Saucers?

Do you believe in the resurrection?
Yes, I believe in it,

Do you believe George Adamski met Venusians?
No, that's fringe.

Only Me
8/27/2016 09:48:56 pm

Why do you care? I thought no one could take me seriously (your words). Why bother me when you don't want to listen to anything I have to say?

Bad2g4e
8/27/2016 06:32:40 am

I thought I heard them say "hazel eyes," but that doesn't matter. Lovely article. My youbger sibling watched this with me last night & completly freaked out. I did a couple of Google searches and let her read this article. Thanks.

On another note, does anyone find the moderator of this show absolutely hilarious? EXTRA.TERRES. TRIAL. BEINGS!!!😅😅😅😅

Reply
Jason Colavito link
8/27/2016 11:37:04 am

You heard correctly. They switched between green, blue, and hazel interchangeably, just to confuse the issue more.

Reply
Clete
8/27/2016 11:54:31 am

Missed the majority of the episode, only managed to see the segment about Jeffrey Lash. When the episode reported that a police investigation revealed he possessed over 1200 weapons, seven thousand pounds of ammo and two hundred and thirty thousand dollars in cash, my thought was this man is a complete and utter lunatic who evidently had serious mental problems.

Reply
Shane Sullivan
8/27/2016 12:27:45 pm

Back in the 70s, my dad was in a band with a Vietnam vet who had been badly injured in a grenade explosion during the war. Over the following years, every once in awhile a piece of shrapnel would work its way to the surface. He was told that that could happen, and to see a doctor if it did, but usually he removed them himself with a pocketknife.

Long story short, yes, there are all sorts of ways for little bits of metal to wind up in your body, none of them having anything to do with eksa-terrestrials.

Reply
TopCat
8/27/2016 01:02:32 pm

Oh man. Oh man! There is no proof of any of this. None. 0. Nada. I now officially want to exact vengeance on someone or something when I hear Childress sputter out. " You have to Wonder..."
This show belongs on E!. Alien Con? I'd go just to mess with Giorgio's hair crap.

Reply
A Buddhist
8/27/2016 02:50:11 pm

Jason,

To describe fellow Buddhist Kirsan Ilyumzhinov as given to strange ideas is fair, but at least he remains within Tipitakic orthodoxy by not attributing these things to any form of Supreme Creator God.

But he is more than a provincial governor. He was the President of Kalmykia, the most fortunate region in Europe, and a subject republic of Russia. Kalmykia, land of chess tournaments and Buddhism, is a republic within the Russian Federation, not a Province of Russia.

Reply
Jason Colavito link
8/27/2016 04:28:24 pm

Technically, every U.S. state is a republic within the American federal system, too. I know that there are a large number of different types of jurisdiction within the Russian federation, but functionally, despite the title, he acts as a governor. Even the media reports quoted on Ancient Aliens described him as such, so it seems to be a common way of trying to translate his position into Anglo-American terms.

Reply
A Buddhist
8/27/2016 05:12:41 pm

And many ignorant people talk about Buddhist teachings about souls - yet they typically talk about Geluk, rather than Pudgalavadan or even Jonang heresies.

Within the system of Russia, his title is president. In contrast, all executives of States in the United States are called governors, even when their states are commonwealths. Please, for the love of all pedants and this Buddhist assemblage of aggregates, modify the article - even adding what you wrote in reply to my comment in ther blog post would be very good.

Jason Colavito link
8/27/2016 05:31:36 pm

I amended his title above.

Tom
8/27/2016 03:32:25 pm

Surely an Alien civilisation capable of interstellar travel would have a nano technology and use microscopic "probes" likewise it would certainly not need to bother with abducting people, As fot hybrids, if Aliens were so like us to interbreed (bearing in mind even a different blood group can lead to fatalities) why would they want to breed a sickly sort of changeling when they themselves could wander about? (think Neanderthal) These "investigators" seem to have lively but very limited imaginations.

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GEE
8/27/2016 09:43:10 pm

Excellent review as usual Jason., I look forward to my notifications so I can see what you have been up to! :-)

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GEE
8/28/2016 05:40:22 pm

My chances of being abducted are extremely high, I have hazel green eyes and I have RH negative blood type.. I never thought of my self as a "Rare Mutation" .. the Aliens made me and I am part of the long term agenda.. this is amazing

Reply
Assonaut Exaterressial
8/28/2016 11:21:07 pm

Scott Wolter loves Templar secrets.
Templar Secrets is a troll.
Ergo, Scott Walter loves trolls.

Reply
Denise
8/31/2016 03:09:19 pm

Well I guess my husband must have been "abducted" many times. He is constantly picking pieces of metal out of his skin (as in Jason's description), you can even see some beneath the surface, X-Rays show thousands of tiny spots, and MRIs give him issues.

But of course he is not an abductee (maybe he should pretend to one...fame and fortune?) he was caught in a cannon explosion at Pirate Land back in 1972, almost lost his leg (thank whatever that his second visit to the ER had an Ex MASH Doctor on duty). Every time he sees a new Doctor, they look him over (he's 15 years older than I, and yes was a hippie) ask: son where you in 'nam or did you get shot with a shotgun?

The fun thing is that he is one the of the State of Georgia's Historic Weapons Instructions. Every class he is used as a living walking example of why things are done in certain ways.

Reply
Denise
8/31/2016 03:26:14 pm

Of course I meant Instructor, I wish there was an edit function for replies.

Reply

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