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Review of Ancient Aliens S14E02 "The Badlands Guardian"

6/7/2019

62 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
​I’d say that Ancient Aliens is scraping the bottom of the barrel, but to be frank, we dug down through the barrel year ago and are now somewhere past the Earth’s crust and deep into the mantle. This week’s episode is named for the “Badlands Guardian,” a geological formation in Alberta, Canada created by the action of wind and water on the soft soil. It takes on the appearance of a human face in profile only in certain lighting, when an optical illusion makes the concave feature appear convex, in what is known as the Hollow-Face Illusion, as the feature’s Wikipedia page notes. It’s an interesting optical illusion, but that’s all it is, a bit of pareidolia discovered with Google Earth. It was discovered 13 or 14 years ago and became an online sensation a few times, most recently last fall, but now optical illusions are evidence of space aliens as this series struggles to come up with new ways to repackage old material, sometimes for the third or fourth time.
Picture
The Badlands Guardian as seen on the CBC.
​Segment 1
I still hate the new opening sequence, especially its invocation of the Twilight Zone by using “There is a door…” and imagery recalling Rod Serling’s title sequence. It’s not wholly inappropriate, though, since Serling was an ancient astronaut believer who hosted In Search of Ancient Astronauts, the ancestral TV special that eventually gave rise to Ancient Aliens, both being adaptations of Chariots of the Gods.
 
Anyway, the first segment tries to make the case that the Badlands Guardian is an intentional carving and not a natural formation, and David Childress shows up to tell us that archaeologists are “often mistaken” about what is artificial and what is natural. For no good reason, they use part of the time to give us a history of the carving of Mount Rushmore, which is a mountain carved from stone, while the Badlands Guardian is made from soil and clay. William Henry and Giorgio Tsoukalos claim that only space aliens could provide the answer. Henry says that humans could not have made a geoglyph on their own and needed aliens to do it for them, while Tsoukalos differs and says that First Nations people in Alberta carved it themselves because they were trying to signal space aliens. The show presents these mutually exclusive ideas as though they were harmonious.
 
The show had an expert use computer simulations to try to argue that the formation was intentionally created, and it’s interesting that the show refers to skeptical views of the Guardian as an optical illusion with the word “apophenia” (seeing patterns that don’t exist) instead of “pareidolia” (seeing familiar patterns in vague, abstract, or natural patterns). I can’t help but think that’s because the Guardian’s Wikipedia page refers to apophenia.  
​Segment 2
The second segment tries to make an argument by analogy, asking viewers to assume that the existence of geoglyphs elsewhere on Earth proves that the Guardian is an artificial geoglyph. This leads to yet another discussion of the Nazca Lines, a subject that has appeared on Ancient Aliens with depressing regularity since the show debuted a decade ago. The discussion of global geoglyphs ranges from the mundane to the nonsensical, and most of the show’s usual talking heads, including Nick Pope and Hugh Newman, try to claim that what they call geoglyphs (some of which are actually earthworks) were intended to communicate with space aliens who were looking at Earth from other galaxies. If the aliens can see a small geoglyph from that distance, they could see cities and other signs of human habitation, so this argument seems weak. The show repeats the lie that a geoglyph of a fisherman in Peru is really a space alien, a claim debunked many years ago.
 
The show seems to struggle with the idea that the Badlands Guardian looks like the head of a stereotypical First Nations person (the show says “Native American,” but the formation is in Canada) in profile in what looks to be a realist nineteenth century art style, which is vastly different from the style of any other geoglyph. They try to make this out to be a sign of specialness or superiority, but surely even they realize that the enormous difference suggests that they are simply seeing things.
​Segment 3
The third segment visits Canada (well, through photos and stock footage) to view First Nations petroglyphs about a hundred miles from the Guardian. The show claims that indigenous references to any being from the sky or from a plane above the Earth is necessarily a space alien, and they believe that rock art showing any stylized human that doesn’t seem photorealistic is consequently a space alien. William Henry tells us that the “headdress” of the Guardian figure, which resembles feathers, was a helmet that functioned as an “antenna” to communicate with space aliens. He claims that shamans’ feathered headdresses are similarly antennas for tuning in to alien signals via feathers. If feathers get you alien ham radio, what must life be like for birds?
 
This leads to a discussion of supposed modern UFO sightings in western Canada, and William Henry says that this might suggest that “aliens have a continuing interest in this area.” Childress adds that part of western Canada must be “a portal” with an interdimensional stargate to other realms.
 
This show is getting stupider by the minute, and their utter refusal to even pretend to find evidence in support of their rankest speculation rankles me. You have to wonder if the space between the ears of ancient astronaut theorists is an interdimensional portal, seeing as it would otherwise be a vacuum and nature abhors a vacuum.
​Segment 4
In the fourth segment, a computer artist claims that mapping the geoglyph onto a real human would prove that the Badlands Guardian is really someone with an elongated skull, a meaningless claim since the Guardian isn’t an intentional piece of art, nor is it intended to be proportional or in the realist style. To “prove” that the geoglyph was modeled on an alien-human hybrid, you have to move through the various stages of proof, from proving the geoglyph artificial to proving that the art style accurately represents its subject in the realist style. This whole segment is a set of stacked ethnocentric assumptions that Giorgio Tsoukalos simply can’t contemplate, despite the fact that his own towering hairstyle belies the fact that a drawing of something large atop a figure’s head necessarily implies an elongated skull.
​Segment 5
The fifth segment returns to another old chestnut, the so-called Face on Mars—long debunked but here assumed to be an alien monument. For reasons that are never made clear, the imaging expert who “analyzed” the Badlands Guardian earlier in the show attempts to analyze the Face on Mars using blurry old Viking photos rather than more recent and higher-resolution photos. The expert alleges—bizarrely—that the difference between the 1976 photos and the more recent ones is due to “erosion” over time! For that to be true, that would mean that the face could only have been built a few decades or a century or two at most before, if it crumbled half to dust in three decades.
 
All of this leads to a repeat of the show’s frequent claims that Ancient Egypt had some sort of esoteric alien connection to Mars, with Martian pyramids corresponding to those of Egypt—a claim invented in 1898 when Garrett P. Serviss made it up for a novel.
 
The show, which previously claimed the Badlands Guardian was Native American, now claims that the Guardian is Akhenaten, the heretic pharaoh. Henry tells us that a statue of Akhenaten is “identical” to the Guardian, even though, objectively speaking, they bear no resemblance to one another in terms of facial features or physical proportions.
 
But points for completely voiding their entire effort to give Native Americans / First Nations people credit for something, even if it was a natural formation, to score a cheap point about Akhenaten and offhand claim that First Nations people had been subject to alien hybrid rulers from Egypt.
Segment 6
As this turkey comes in for a landing, we see another example of people seeing things in random shapes. Now we hear that a bunch of splotches and grooves on Mars is a face of an old man with an underbite wearing a helmet. It’s a bit cartoonish, but I guess it looks something like a person, but when Childress alleges that “we have similar structures on Mars and on Earth” because Martian humans moved to Earth, I really felt that this claim needed something more than a blurry photo of a rock that the show thinks looks like the Maya pyramids at Tikal to support that claim. In the final moments, the show asks if crop circles are modern versions of the geoglyphs, and the show simply assumes that crop circles are the work of aliens. The show also doesn’t bother to address the point that they claimed geoglyphs to be the work of human beings (well, all except Henry, who is in his own world) while they imply crop circles are made by aliens. So who is communicating with whom an why? Surely this show isn’t doing a very good job of it.
62 Comments
Hal
6/7/2019 10:19:13 pm

Sadly, very sadly I must agree that this episode was a huge dud. For once you are right.

Reply
The theme from the movie shaft
6/7/2019 11:40:43 pm

When even this blindly believing buffoon is jumping ship, you know that things must be getting pretty bad.

Reply
Fair Witness
6/8/2019 07:30:03 am

"For once you are right." Right back atcha.

Reply
Riley V
6/7/2019 10:27:49 pm

Say what you will. I am convinced that this is a crater in the soil caused by a Nephalim-First Nations hybrid giant stuck here when his ship ran out of Unobtainium fuel and pretzels. While following a map clearly emblazoned with a “Hooked X” the hybrid was struck down by Vikings looking for the Northwest Passage. What we see is the impression of his face plant after being hit with Thor’s hammer.

Did I leave anything out?

Reply
Bill
6/7/2019 10:48:32 pm

"Did I leave anything out?"

You forgot the Templar and Masonic connection. Maybe as well throw in a reference to Oak Island too ;)

Reply
John
6/10/2019 02:45:53 am

Don’t forget some mention of a rune stone. Maybe when the giant fell his face created the rune stone. Oh and don’t forget it aligns perfectly with Orion’s Belt.

Gavin
6/12/2019 06:36:56 am

You do realize that Oak Island actually exists and there is SOME validity that something, perhaps a silver coin or two, is actually burried there or at least WAS buried there and then dug up.

Joe Scales
6/12/2019 10:52:45 am

No Gavin. There is absolutely no reason to believe anything of any value was ever buried at Oak Island. Zero evidence. Nothing. Nada. Goose-egg. Squat. Zip. Zilch. If you truly wish to learn about the history of the hoax, you can start here:

http://www.criticalenquiry.org/oakisland/index.shtml

But if you come back and still want to argue about someone burying the greatest treasure ever known to man... and then leaving a tackle block hanging up over the burial site... well, save your breath. I'll just call you an imbecile and we'll both move on.

TONY S.
6/26/2019 06:20:11 pm

Joe: you referred me to that web page a while ago, I remember we had a discussion about Oak Island. It has excellent information, I never thanked you for recommending it.

Matt
6/12/2019 06:46:04 am

The map was retrieved from the Akashic record and is alleged to have been written by Toth-Hermes himself.

Reply
Tim Mobbs
8/9/2019 11:55:48 am

You forgot to mention the Pyramids!

Reply
Jim
6/7/2019 11:14:14 pm

Help Wanted
Looking for a few robust individuals to help construct crop circles near the Badlands Guardian. (Alberta)
Bonus paid to experienced crop circle technicians.
Must be willing to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

Reply
Crop Circles
6/7/2019 11:37:29 pm

Dave Chorley and Doug Bower confessed to having started the practice as a hoax from the get-go during the early 1990s on a BBC Farming Television series and gave a demonstration of how easy it was done.

Reply
Crop Circle Believer
6/8/2019 06:59:45 am

Saying it over and over doesn't make it true.

CROP CIRCLES
6/8/2019 07:07:14 am

It was Dave Chorley & Doug Bower that said and demonstrated it. On film.

Before it even took off.
Before anyone had heard about it.

Crop Circle Believer
6/8/2019 07:33:15 am

Saying it over and over doesn't make it true.

CROP CIRCLES
6/8/2019 08:52:33 am

They haven't managed to prove anything and what you're saying is known as special pleading.

Crop Circle Believer
6/8/2019 10:58:08 am

"Special pleading" doesn't mean what you think it means.

CROP CIRCLES
6/8/2019 12:59:14 pm

You don't know what Blind Faith means

Crop Circles Replier
6/11/2019 06:51:41 am

The crop circles they make destroy the plants in a different way than unexplained crop circles. Look up about the elongated nodes on the plant.

Crop Circle Believer
6/11/2019 09:17:06 pm

Like the crop circle hoaxers I've been faking it, and the idiot who didn't figure that out is just an idiot. You too are an idiot.

David Evans
6/8/2019 05:24:20 am

The Badlands Guardian is the SAME COLOR as the Martian surface. Coincidence? I think not.

Reply
Kent
6/8/2019 06:57:31 am

The problem with "humans" on Mars is not just the lack of oxygen but the extremely low air pressure. A manned mission to Mars is a bugaboo, a shiny object to distract from actual problems here.'

Better to invest in New Improved Joker Robots.

Reply
Mission To Mars (and back)
6/8/2019 07:08:37 am

That's a very long time without nuptials.

Reply
Doc Rock
6/8/2019 10:16:22 am

The lips of the figure are distinctly negroidal. Clear proof of Olmecs migrating to the north to take advantage of lands left vacant following the Dryas Impact.

Reply
Accumulated Wisdom
6/9/2019 03:01:08 am

Doc Rock,

"The lips of the figure are distinctively negroidal."

Where I come from, those are called "DSLs". A fact, I am comfortable conveying as, the figure is clearly a woman. The Carver's even gave her a beauty mole by her eyebrow.

Reply
Robert Redford and Clint Eastwood
6/9/2019 07:33:56 am

Because men don't have moles? Good to know.

You missed the point of the article. There were no "Carver's".

Accumulated Wisdom
6/10/2019 12:40:53 am

Brewbaker and Beto,

Are you so old, you couldn't follow along with the JOKE, Doc Rock started.

This stuff is Psychology 101

Robert DeNiro You missed the point of the article. There were no "Carver's".
6/10/2019 03:06:28 am

If you have to explain it and belittle the other guy it's not a joke, it's just you being ....you.

"Where I come from, those are called "DSLs". A fact, I am comfortable conveying as, the figure is clearly a woman."

Homophobe. Scared of men coming from the four quarters to S his D with their L's.

You missed the point of the article. There were no "Carver's".

Why Anthony Warren is the Best
6/10/2019 08:46:20 am

Anthony Warren was High School Champion of Everything.
Upon graduating college Anthony Warren opened a nursery school.
"Zealots" stole Anthony Warren's Yahoo email account.

Accumulated Wisdom
6/13/2019 03:22:31 pm

Of course, this feature has carvers. Their names are Wind, Water, and Time. Duh! Hobbs and Pale Rider didn't get the joke.

E.P. Grondine
6/10/2019 10:01:59 am

The "Dryas Impact" ? Very funny way of calling attention to the confusion over the two Holocene Start Impact Events -

https://youtu.be/TbM4vHcRyz0

Reply
No one cares
6/10/2019 10:25:22 am

No one cares.

Paul
6/8/2019 10:24:51 am

Clearly the infinite monkey theorem applies here. Or alien woo. Your choice.

Reply
An Anonymous Nerd
6/8/2019 10:57:32 am

[[To “prove” that the geoglyph was modeled on an alien-human hybrid, you have to move through the various stages of proof, from proving the geoglyph artificial to proving that the art style accurately represents its subject in the realist style.]]

One implication of this that doesn't get enough attention is that we somehow know what an alien/hybrid would look like. And then that can discern how a given culture would attempt to portray that realistically. It's an awful lot of knowledge that we can't possibly have.

Interestingly enough there's an episode of "Star Trek: Voyager" where a plot point is that one character makes an assumption about who her baby's father is on the basis of appearance (human vs some kind of alien). And the ship's doctor points out "we haven't seen this kind of hybrid before so we don't know what it's supposed to look like."

-An Anonymous Nerd

Reply
Ted Knight First Starman
6/8/2019 11:03:28 am

Also look at Jeff Bridges in Starman. Dreamboat!

Reply
W
6/8/2019 12:28:01 pm

Yeah this one was really sad. No archaeological digs have been done? Any sign of old settlements or human activity? Tools? The show doesn't talk about any of that. Sad episode.

Reply
You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me
6/8/2019 12:58:39 pm

I’m curious how many (and which ones) of the talking heads on this show believe this garbage vs willing to say anything for money. I mean can they really be that stupid?

Reply
Can they really be that stupid
6/8/2019 01:00:42 pm

There's lot worse than Scott Wolter

Reply
Doctor Phil
6/10/2019 01:31:59 pm

That's like saying there is lots worse than a suppurating lesion on your left buttock.

Dateline NBC
6/10/2019 01:58:14 pm

So when did you meet Anthony Warren and start hunting together?

James
6/8/2019 03:26:29 pm

When this show first aired it came off as an interesting expression of intriguing riddles of history that I found interesting. But now after watching this episode, I realize these are all paid government shills tasked with artificially building up and then destroying and then mocking anything linked to alien theories to continue the decades old campaign of misinformation. Siting evidence from fat Canadian grandmothers from Saskatchewan was it, even for me.

Reply
Lots more rubbish
6/8/2019 03:36:41 pm

There's the Trinity Broadcasting Network - now there's something to put holes into people's heads....

Reply
Where “Disco” lives forever!
6/8/2019 04:42:03 pm

Thanks James for explaining that it was something interesting that you found interesting.

Stuart Gibson
6/8/2019 06:15:27 pm

Yup, they're now clutching at straws to keep the series going.
In the early seasons it was actually interesting, some strange unexplained stuff going on..... Now here's proof cos some erosion looks like a face. I'm just waiting for the episode that they spend looking at the picture of an alien on some burnt toast.

Reply
Jim
6/8/2019 06:44:09 pm

I'm just waiting for the episode that they investigate the Man in the Moon.
Scott has copies of copies of ancient documents that seem to indicate it carved by time traveling redhaired Templar Native American Vikings who were giants.

Reply
Hans
6/9/2019 01:32:25 am

Jason,
If Ancient Aliens is scraping the bottom of the barrel - why are people still watching it? I will tell you:
Scores of Americans have decided to leave the dull reality and are now living in an exciting make-believe world full of wonders, aliens, and government conspiracies.
We have a deeper problem here and it is going to destroy us.

Reply
Response
6/9/2019 02:02:20 am

Are you saying that the Bible is not equally escapism?

Reply
DM
6/9/2019 03:39:59 am

The Bible is neither here nor there, really; a red herring in this context - no need to try to argue whether humans just now developed a capacity and propensity to cope with dreadful reality in a certain way. Let's just agree that Hans makes a good point and see whether it takes us - it's more relevant to a big-picture discussion, one that merits attention and some thought, certainly more, I'd think, than this episode, which you, Jason, have so adeptly and coherently skewered. Really admirable work IMHO, demonstrably so as it sparked insight, potential or genuine. So much more satisfying than Ancient Aliens precisely because you're both unafraid to apply your minds to a thing rationally. So refreshing these days.
Getting back to Hans' comment - I had the same thought about the enduring and apparently growing zombie obsession.

RESPONSE
6/9/2019 06:32:07 am

The Bible originates from the same place as all other pseudo histories. No difference. Same thing.

Scorekeeper
6/9/2019 06:42:39 am

Do you know what "Scores" means? Stay cooool, my baby!

Reply
caralex
6/9/2019 04:52:31 pm

It's a depression, anyway, not a mound: https://photos.wikimapia.org/p/00/02/57/04/43_big.jpg

Reply
Caretaker
6/9/2019 05:00:26 pm

Note the word "concave" in the article.

Reply
JQDavies
6/9/2019 06:17:00 pm

The Guardian is clearly using an iPod ear bud, and the headdress is the partially emerging head of Will Ferrell.
A) Apple is an alien/Masonic cabal;
B) Will Ferrell is Steve Jobs.

Weird times.

Reply
What an Idiot
6/10/2019 10:59:55 pm

AnonymousJune 10, 2019 at 11:04 AM
The Georgia Guidestones is an incomplete monument. The current structure is only the center cluster. Someone needs to complete the structure by adding the lunar alignments. Think "Aubrey Holes".

I used to put a lot of stock into prehistoric civilizations. Mainly due to the high level of astronomy, it seemed likely that at least a high-level astronomer priesthood had survived a human learning, Reset Event. Understanding the true purpose of the Guidestones, I realized no one Priesthood needed to survive. Monuments with, or without instructions, and the abilities of the human mind are all that is needed. When one surviving group understands the instructions, they have obtained absolute power, and the ability to restart civilization. I wonder if, the Etruscans left instructions for their augmentation of Stonehenge???

If the tradition of building these structures holds, there should be another one somewhere else.

Anthony Warren

Reply
Chris
6/13/2019 11:33:44 am

I love some ancient aliens but this episode bothered me so badly that I had to look around to see how many others agreed and i found this page. The Badlands guardian? Really? They were grasping at straws all over the place and just released an episode making themselves look like a joke. I know the show has had alot of repetition and covered some outlandish things once in a while. But this was just ridiculous. I thought they would spend 5-10 min max on this and move on but a complete episode... Cmon now. I do not understand all this repetition and even wasting money on something like the Badlands guardian. There's soooo many new and old things out there to cover... Get ya stuff together AA. As someone said above... DUD huge dud of an episode... Like I just dropped a dud like that in my toilet that was more interesting and looked like the Badlands guardian.

Reply
jan brewer
6/15/2019 07:37:04 pm

If you closely behind the image "carved from erosion" you will see the Badlands Beaver head!!! It was chewed by beavers millions of years ago!!!!
But for real. More shows like this one will discredit a large amount of positive thinking in this area.
Sad show

Reply
jan brewer
6/15/2019 08:02:25 pm

There is also another face going the opposite direction coming light of the "medicine hat"
LMAO

Reply
Real archaeologist
7/4/2019 07:21:40 am

I have a second degree in archaeology and I believe that today there are ufo . I am not sure if the ufos are not man made.

I am quite sure there were advanced cultures many thousands years ago in several places in earth . I saw part of hundreds of objects made from bronze in a very sophisticated technique during several decades in a very small and remote place more than 6000 years ago. The technology of creating these objects disappeared for almost 4000 years before similar objects discovered.

It does not mean that aliens made them. Of course not.

But there was amazing advance in this area of metallurgy in a very short period of time and then the knowledge was lost.

I believe that you can gain this kind of knowledge by remote viewing the future. I can and do it myself for other purposes. Everybody can do it . It is very easy and you can see the results on the first try if you do it right according to free protocols published by us after decades of using remote viewers for intelligence purposes.

Anyway The formation shown in the episode is 100% natural.

It does not look like a face at all.


Reply
Fools will scoff
7/13/2019 12:47:59 pm

Fools will scoff at wizdom and the belligerent and profane will never received the knowledge of light and knowledge of self

Reply
James L. Coster
10/13/2019 01:22:23 am

i have an Ivy League education and have been a trial attorney - primarily in jury trial doing criminal defense work - for some 30 years. i agree that one must never suspend "reality" and "rational thinking" for any topic presented to humans. forming a "logical" argument based upon "evidence" or "reasonable conjecture" has been the foundation of my legal practice. as to "entertainment", i watch the TV show Ancient Aliens on a regular basis. some of the topics and conclusions are obviously open to a wide range of analysis and debate. however, there is also a substantial portion of topics presented in that show that IS "troubling" in relation to human explanation. i have watched that show for years because i find intriguing the arguments that the producers present that are based upon factual evidence and visual, real-time observations. it is foolish, and frankly, uninformed to discount and dismiss that show out of hand as "bottom of the barrel" childishness. i regularly make arguments before juries based upon observations, logical evidence and reasonable conclusions from that data. much of the show Ancient Aliens includes the same kind of analysis. automatically rejecting all of the ideas presented in that show could only be expected from a person who lacks advanced intelligence and formal academic training.

Reply
Shawn Womack
11/9/2019 06:35:34 pm

Everyone deserves their own view points, and in a capatalist world eveyone is fighting to put their material out their for the masses, real or not. To say its the bottom of the barrel, when you use that show for a new blog post, you are both stroking your egos to an extint. We only have an idea of what is... GOD OR ALIENS? Both mythology to me till the day the sun kisses the earth.

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