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Review of Ancient Aliens S14E06 "Secrets of the Maya"

7/5/2019

25 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Originality has never been the strong suit of Ancient Aliens, a show that was born as a TV adaptation of Chariots of the Gods and has spent most of its decade on the air finding new ways to repeat claims that were already hoary with age when Chariots author Erich von Däniken copied them from earlier authors in his own books in the late 1960s and early 1970s. But the marketing for this episode took a certain degree of chutzpah that this lazy show rarely rises to. For a week before this episode aired, the History Channel and Ancient Aliens promoted an online streaming playlist of the show’s fifteen best episodes about the Maya ahead of this episode’s Maya reprise. Conceding that you have covered the same topic at least fifteen times before while remaining confident that your core audience will tune in to watch the same thing yet again provides a delicate cameo of the Ancient Aliens phenomenon. Now, if only the episode had anything to do with the Maya and was not just another racist bait-and-switch.
​Segment 1
We open with a discussion of the Spanish conquest of Mexico, particularly Diego De Landa’s efforts to erase native cultural beliefs and practices and replace them with the Spanish version of Catholicism. De Landa’s efforts resulted in the burning of countless Maya books and threatening the Maya with death if they did not confess belief in the Christian God. The show chooses to illustrate the discussion with a strange mixture of Maya, Aztec, and other Mesoamerican art, either because it doesn’t know the difference, or it thinks the audience does not. The show suggests that the destroyed Maya codices contained evidence of what Jason Martell calls “a lost race, particularly extraterrestrial in nature.” The various talking heads mix and match elements of Mexican mythologies to argue that the Maya had a myth that “sky gods” from across the ocean gave them civilization, which they imply are aliens.
 
The show then dances along to the Olmec, who were not Maya, and Hugh Newman repeats the old canard that the Olmec stone heads were of sub-Saharan Africans while their other statues are Asian or Caucasian. David Childress is very excited by this and blathers on about “racial characteristics,” which leads the narrator to state that Mesoamerican culture originated in the Old World. But the Olmec statues show the same people that still live in the same region of Oaxaca, with their same lips and noses and eyes, and they are decidedly not African. This claim goes back to the late nineteenth century, when racists like Ignatius Donnelly suggested that Native Mexicans made statues of the slaves of their white Atlantean masters. It was racist then and it remains racist now.
 
Giorgio Tsoukalos claims that the Olmec had airplanes and jet packs and flew around the world, somehow failing to spread plants or diseases as they flew and leaving no trace except for their “racial characteristics.” 
​Segment 2
In the second segment, David Childress travels to Colombia to meet Praveen Mohan, a Hindu “historian” (actually a YouTuber) who appeared on Ancient Aliens in 2016. The two men visit ancient Colombian stone art in a remote area of the Colombian rainforest known as San Agustín Archaeological Park, and it is rather strange that Childress’s comportment and accent seems to have undergone a bit of a transformation, more of a 1930s stuffed shirt stock character from a screwball comedy than the midwestern schlub he began the series as. Anyway, the two men repeat a strange and stupid claim that the Colombian sculptures are “so Hindu” because they use rather common cross-cultural motifs such as groupings of three or a necklace with a skull or a bird eating a snake. (Mohan is shocked to discover that this last motif is so common that it appears on the Mexican flag, drawn from Aztec mythology. “How is that possible?” he asks of the supposed “connections” to India.) The “evidence” for Hindu gods in South America is unconvincing, and Mohan is really stretching to relate every carving to something Indian. That’s not to say that academics have not from time to time argued for Southeast Asian influences on Mexican culture, but despite these occasional arguments, none has found general acceptance due to the lack of any archaeological evidence to support the suggestion.  At any rate, Ancient Aliens is convinced that the Maya and their ancestors were too dumb to have developed their own culture and therefore it had to come from somewhere else, whether that be India, Atlantis, or Alpha Centauri. 

The idea that Native American civilization is a decadent form of Hindu culture was a popular belief in the early 1800s, particularly as advocated by Caleb Atwater. That is because the racists of the era thought that the Hindus were originally white and that Sanskrit and Hinduism were the mother culture of European civilization (an early form of Indo-European theory, with more racism). The claim remains racist today.
​Segment 3
In the third segment, Childress and Mohan continue to attribute various pieces of ancient Colombian art at San Agustín, which date to c. 1 to 400 CE, to Hindus in ways that are both extreme and ridiculous, without much reference to the Maya or explanation of why nearly half a show putatively about the Maya is devoted to India and Colombia. Mohan, bizarrely, tries to allege that the vimanas of (pseudo-) Hindu belief (many reference to these mythological flying craft are derived from a modern hoax text) are Kukulkan, the feathered serpent of Maya lore. They also try to say that the ancient gold bug known as the Colombian “flyer” and worn by Tsoukalos and Martell as a lapel pin is not just an airplane but also a vimana. The show alleges that the name Maya found in Indian mythology must be the origin of the name Maya in Mexico. This makes as much sense as claiming that the female name Maya (a variant of Maia or Maria) is also “connected.” Not all shared syllables have a common origin.
​Segment 4
The fourth segment keeps pushing the Hindu origins of Native American civilization angle, this time to argue that Colombia was a hotbed of Hindu action because it has a place where three rivers meet, similar to one in India, which the Hindus discovered by flying their aircraft over the jungle. Really? Why not just use their satellites? It would make as much sense. As Mohan vomits out bonkers interpretations of Native American art, Childress’s face is contorted in nearly orgasmic ecstasy, for these claims hark back to his earliest efforts at fringe writing, when he produced books about how Caucasians dominated the world with their superior ancient culture. Childress states that the Spanish did not know about San Agustín, but since he doesn’t define his terms, he is wrong. A Spaniard viewed and wrote about the statues at the site in 1756, the first Westerner to do so. Presumably, Childress meant the Spanish of the 1500s, but the show is none too careful about terminology and probably doesn’t realize that Spanish people still exist.
​Segment 5
The fifth segment features Childress red-faced and sweaty with excitement as he talks about race, one of his favorite topics. He alleges that the Cham people of Vietnam were actually a pan-racial coalition of Old World peoples brought together by space aliens to migrate to America and civilize the red savages who were too dumb to have a culture of their own. Mohan returns to the idea that Asian people flew giant airships to the Americas, and he misplaces the Mahabharata to 3000 BCE, though scholars say that it actually dates to around 400 BCE for its oldest layers. The text as we have it dates from after 400 CE. The show then ventures into anti-Catholic conspiracy theories by alleging that the Maya texts were not destroyed as commonly thought but rather were sent to the Vatican so that the “secrets” of the Maya faith could be “controlled” and locked safely away in the Secret Archive. Neat trick since Maya hieroglyphs weren’t readable by Europeans until the twentieth century. I suppose that’s just another secret we aren’t “supposed” to know about. 
Segment 6
In the sixth segment, which is really just a hodgepodge of unrelated thoughts on a rough theme, Childress tells us that eventually the ancient empires of the alien-supported Hindus collapsed, and the aliens withdrew their technology to let humans fend for themselves. The show gives a confused account of archaeologists discovering Maya artifacts at Teotihuacan, demonstrating a connection between the two cultures. The show, characteristically, misidentifies the Teotihuacan culture as “Aztec,” despite the six-century difference between them. It’s not entirely clear what the show means for this to prove, since Teotihuacan and the Maya were located on the same continent on a contiguous landmass, but they next seem to suggest that using satellites will somehow uncover secret alien bases or something like that. It’s more of an emotional argument than a logical one, and it makes less sense the more you think about it.
25 Comments
Accumulated Wisdom
7/5/2019 11:07:42 pm

Ancient Groundhog Daliens

The supposed "Vatican Secret Archive" was allegedly sent to British Columbia, Canada during World War II.

Reply
Kent
7/5/2019 11:39:18 pm

Not even "allegedly". Sei un imbecille.

Reply
Accumulated wisdom
7/6/2019 01:14:57 am

Kent “allegedly” is smart enough to figure out how to press the reply button.

Reply
Riley V
7/6/2019 02:30:05 am

So does this Maya - Hindu connection mean Columbus was right? Are Indians really Indians?

What a load of poop.

Reply
Accumulated Wisdom
7/6/2019 02:59:46 am

Dear Imposter,

Please quit using my username to provoke "Kent".

Reply
Kent
7/6/2019 04:28:59 pm

Or at, least use commas in, the approved Anthony Warren, manner.

Reply
Aaa
7/6/2019 05:21:23 am

This Colavito dude has a serious issue with “racism” seeing it everywhere as something bad.

Reply
NOBODY CARES
7/8/2019 03:59:36 pm

I saw that too. Why not just explain that the similarities between San Agustín and Hindu stone art are at best based on anecdotal evidence? The dude sees evil white man heads popping up out of the every nook and shadow. I must have rolled my eyes a dozen times reading this. I respect the guy, but damn.

Reply
A Mennonite
7/8/2019 05:06:40 pm

And India is South Asia, not Southeast Asia.

An Anonymous Nerd
7/10/2019 07:53:56 am

[ issue with “racism” seeing it everywhere as something bad. ]

Racism is bad, yes. Sort of sad that I have to point this out, but that's where we are.

As to Mr. Colavito seeing it "everywhere?" He has explained adequately why it's a topic here and besides: It was the show that brought this stuff up. It's the Fringe that focuses on this kind of material. It's that that's the problem -- not rational folks like Mr. Colavito pointing it out and pointing out its implications.

Once again, sort of sad that I have to point this out, but that's where we are.

-An Anonymous Nerd

Reply
Asdf
7/11/2019 11:13:53 am

Black men run faster 100 meters. Fact or racism?

Jimmy the Greek
7/11/2019 01:57:59 pm

''The black is a better athlete to begin with, because he`s been bred to be that way, because of his high thighs and big thighs that go up into his back and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs, you see. . . .''

''This goes back all the way to the Civil War when . . . the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid. . . .''

Jockobadger
7/11/2019 04:31:43 pm

Ah yes! Jimmy the Greek! Nice find. I happened to be watching the game with my Dad when that nugget popped out. We both looked at each other and chuckled. Bad Jimmy! Bad. Youse in trouble now.

I waited on Jimmy the Greek and Al Davis with their two blushing brides one rainy Monday Night in Seattle. Yep, Seahawks vs. Raiders on MNF in the old Kingdome. I worked at Umberto's when I was in college, tending bar and waiting tables.

Jimmy drank 4 double martinis before dinner was served. Al too. Mind you this was before the game! He was just plain poopoo-faced when they staggered out. Nice people. $100 tip that smelled like Eau Sauvage. Thanks for the memories!

An Anonymous Nerd
7/11/2019 06:37:33 pm

[Black men run faster 100 meters. Fact or racism?]

A very strange non sequitur.

-An Anonymous Nerd

ASDF
7/12/2019 09:16:34 am

A very strange nonsense.

NOBODY CARES
7/18/2019 05:48:36 pm

"He has explained adequately why it's a topic here". It's definitely a topic here, but I'm not sure there is any adequate explanation as to why. Granted, the show is ridiculously speculative. There are a thousand reasons why it's important for someone like Jason Colavito to take the time to research and meticulously document the countless reasons why this series is sensationalistic (vs. scientific). He does that and he does it well. Also, if the claim is that the talking heads and authors of Ancient Aliens are unscrupulous profiteers who take advantage of the ignorant and uninformed, I think few on this site would argue. But to say that they're motivated by racism? Really? You might as well say that they are closet-Nazis. After all, the signs are there, so it must be true. Right? But isn't that the exact same logic that Ancient Aliens uses to convince its viewership that Great Pyramid was built by hybrid giants from Sirius. Admittedly, I have not read every article, but (of the ones that I have read) there seems to be an unusual focus on convincing his readers that the entire show is driven by racism. He appears to weave the race topic into a high percentage of his content. So, since speculation is clearly on the table; here's what I think. Jason Colavito suffers greatly from white guilt. After all, he is himself a white male and the signs are there - so I must be right. Right?

A Buddhist
7/6/2019 10:34:13 am

The female name Maya is also an Indian name that is not a variant of Maia or Maria. The Buddha Shakyamuni's mother's name was Maya.

Reply
A Christian
7/7/2019 03:48:37 pm

The word you're looking for is "Māyā"...

Reply
A Buddhist
7/7/2019 05:32:43 pm

Tue enough, but the diacritics are difficult to place using standard keyboards and are often omitted in all but the most technical Anglophone works.

A Christian
7/7/2019 06:20:23 pm

You could just copy and paste from Wikipedia. First thing I would have done would be to check and see if I had it right. Which I did by checking in an online Pali dictionary. No diacritics is Satan's path to the wrong word.

A Buddhist
7/7/2019 09:02:49 pm

I just shat out some “diacritics” after reading your comment.

A Mormon
7/10/2019 07:54:11 pm

Herein a certain recluse or brahmin is dull, stupid. And by reason of his dullness and stupidity, when questioned on this or that matter, he resorts to verbal jugglery or eel-wriggling.

- Brahmajalasutta

Reply
Matt
7/11/2019 10:53:50 am

I've noticed that some people wriggle their eels and some people don't, now I know why. You learn something new every day.

Harvey the White Rabbit
7/7/2019 07:08:40 pm

Frankly, I never encountered a Maya who could keep a secret.

Reply
TONY S.
7/10/2019 01:17:38 pm

Ah, the Maya. One of the AAT's greatest hits!

Reply

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