Ancient Aliens has talked about Hawaii many times over the years, and they have similarly covered Polynesian cultures from across the Pacific, which means that more than other episodes, this one really felt like David Childress’s vacation videos. He was the lucky ancient astronaut theorist chosen for the free vacation and luxury spa package in exchange for listening to the time-share pitch and filming an hour of pointless blather. As is standard, the show alleges that Hawaiian deities were actually space aliens or interdimensional beings. It’s not entirely clear how the Hawaiian “cultural advisor” the show speaks to came up with this idea, since the records of Hawaiian mythology show that early myths said that the god Lono placed the stars in the sky, which means that the gods couldn’t have come down from the stars. Martha Beckwith’s major work on Hawaiian myths specifically states, contrary to Ancient Aliens that there are no Hawaiian myths of gods incarnating from the stars or humans becoming stars. Instead, the scholarly literature says that the gods were imagined as coming either from a distant land beyond the sea or from the heavens, but there was no consistent agreement on the matter. My review of the literature finds no reference to star people in historic accounts of Hawaiian mythology, but news reports from the past few years have quoted Hawaiians who referenced star people, mostly in the wake of the creation of the Star Visitor Sanctuary by Native Hawaiian UFO believers a few years ago.
Then, just for the heck of it, Childress and the show falsely declare the nineteenth century Theosophical version of the fictitious continent Lemuria to be the same as a trans-Oceania story of a landmass that once connected the Polynesian cultural centers. It’s fairly clear that the Polynesian myth is a story meant to tie together the peoples of distant lands. Childress and the show do not reveal that Childress was a for a long time a promoter of the Lemurian Fellowship, whose cult texts he used as the basis for his early books.
The show then asserts that the Akua or Atua gods are “star people,” though the words refer only to a deity or supernatural entity, not specifically to beings from the stars. Polynesian gods, like other polytheist pantheons, were located all over the visible world. Famously, the octopus war gods of Polynesia lived under the sea in stone temples.
Childress and Michael Salla tour Hawaii to look for evidence that space aliens lived in Hawaii. They observe some tiki statues, and based on the large, round eyes and bulbous heads, they declare them Grey space aliens. Akua statues with rictus grins are declared a second species of alien, and Salla then claims that the Hawaiian “little people,” the Menehune, are genetically engineered dwarves, as were the Greys, intended to serve the Akua. The Menehune were ascribed authorship of several stone structures, including a large water channel. If the Menehune and their stone water channel sound familiar, it’s because Scott Wolter did an episode of America Unearthed about it, in which he declared without proof that the Menehune were pre-Hawaiian civilizers from across the ocean. Or maybe you remember them from Carl Barks’ Scrooge McDuck story about them in the old Disney comics, Uncle Scrooge No. 4, Dec. 1953-Feb. 1954. It’s a much better yarn than the one Salla and Childress struggle to spin from a rather weak foundation.
In the third segment Childress speculates that the Earth has continents that rise and fall—though he falsely implies this happens quickly in historic times—and alleges that many “lost civilizations” remain to be found. The narrator discusses Atlantis and then we get back to Lemuria, which Salla and other talking heads simply assert existed, though it never did. The show happily conflates Lemuria with Mu, following some of James Churchward’s speculations. It’s probably worth noting that Mu was postulated to exist in the Pacific, but the original Lemuria—before Churchward and others moved it—was supposed to be in the Indian Ocean. Salla and Childress claim that Atlantis and Lemuria had a war and the Lemurians his in lava tubes under Hawaiian volcanoes. These sorts of claims exist on the wildest fringes of the internet, and they reflect some of the Lemurian Fellowship nut-jobbery, but even after fourteen seasons, it is still shocking to hear a mainstream cable channel with a straight face assert that Atlantis and Lemuria fought a war and that its survivors hid under volcanoes. If I recall correctly, the Atlantis-Lemurian war from this show is actually based on racist ancient astronaut theorist Robert Charroux’s 1967 claim that Atlantis and Mu engaged in a nuclear war. Or maybe they got it from Andre Norton’s 1967 novel Operation Time Search, whose plot revolves around an Atlantis-Mu war.
In the fourth segment, Childress claims that Hawaiian petroglyphs are “identical” to the Rongrongo writing of Easter Island, though he later walks this back to “very similar.” They are not the same except that they use geometrical and curvilinear forms. This leads, for some bonkers reason, to a discussion of wormholes and whether Hawaii is a place where interdimensional beings pop in and out from other worlds. The show wonders if the geology that creates volcanoes under Hawaii are generating piezoelectric magnetic fields capable of opening wormholes across the universe. Funny how those portals never seem to suck stuff in from Earth but instead let space aliens pop on over for a visit. Michael Salla says that the portals are “happening now,” though he expresses no interest in trying to prove this and make scientific history by identifying one.
The fifth segment repeats Richard Hoagland’s false assertion that there is a geological and cosmological significance to 19.47 degrees north and south latitude on other planets. We’ve heard this before, just last month over on Graham Hancock’s author of the month blog—where it was posted right at the time that this show was being produced, according to the dates included in the episode. The show repeats claims from that blog post, and it seems fairly obvious that the producers simply read it and ripped it off for this episode. The show alleges that the false magic of 19.47 degrees means that Hawaii has extra mystical energy for creating interdimensional portals. The show then discusses UFO sightings in Hawaii to support this goofball claim.
The sixth segment discusses the Star Visitor Sanctuary, and Giorgio Tsoukalos falsely claims that all Hawaiian mythology is based on stars and star lore, which is not supported by anthropology, folklore, or history. Michael Salla claims that aliens from the Pleiades came to Hawaii and created humanity. The show then repeats some of its claims as summary before suggesting that humans can use Hawaiian alien portals to “colonize the very universe.”
8/23/2019 10:17:37 pm
You forgot to mention the absurd suggestion that there was a war between the Lemurians and the Atlantians which caused the end of the Lemurian culture and forced them into the lava tube caves on Hawaii.
8/23/2019 10:40:09 pm
Pasting error. I missed a segment in pasting in my notes. It will be right up.
8/24/2019 05:04:52 am
I suppose it would have broken the pseudoscience code of ethics to ask a real physicist what it takes to create a wormhole and keep it open (hot lava won't do it)
8/24/2019 07:52:00 am
Michael Salla is on this show now? Good grief. I’ve read one of his books, and he’s either a scammer who thinks very little of his audience, or credulous to an alarming degree. And I lean towards the latter. I can’t imagine how even other UFO people could take home seriously.
8/24/2019 08:05:07 am
Dolores Cannon’s books still a recommended reading, especially Convoluted Universe 1-5.
8/24/2019 08:48:19 am
What's old is new again.
8/24/2019 10:03:36 am
"from the stars", "from the heavens", potato / tomato.
8/24/2019 11:24:58 am
Wow. Gilgamesh was 1/3 man and 2/3 god (or vice verse, can't remember), so this means that Gilgamesh was from Hawaii.
8/24/2019 11:41:35 am
With descent in sexual reproduction coming in powers of two although even that has an "-ish" factor past one generation that conception must have been some wild party.
8/24/2019 12:41:57 pm
People from Xenu going into and out of volcanoes is from scientology. Seems they're borrowing from that.
8/24/2019 09:58:20 pm
19min into islands of fire there was a grey creature walking into a volcano can you tell me what this thing is https://youtu.be/5XVkmS7Acnc is a youbtube link anagin 19min if thia post is to blurry lmk
8/24/2019 01:55:15 pm
I eschewed watching Ancient Aliens and instead dined out for a meal of sriracha burritos and refried beans — but this morning my own bathroom was turned into a another kind of “Islands of Fire”!
8/25/2019 10:23:24 am
Why Sriracha? Might as well just pour sugar on your food. That's really what it is. Sugar.
8/25/2019 02:20:03 pm
So, you are to this blog site like sugar is to Sriracha. You ruin everything.
8/25/2019 02:32:59 pm
Piss-poor Yoda are you.
8/25/2019 03:03:12 pm
Joe, not only are my taste buds ruined, but my bathroom is a disaster area!
8/25/2019 09:58:06 pm
Thankfully, both palates and bathrooms can be cleansed.
Jr. Time Lord
8/24/2019 04:18:47 pm
I'm extremely curious to know how the ratings breakdown in states where marijuana is legalized. Do the most loyal viewers reside in legalized States?
8/24/2019 04:27:24 pm
KIds, ask your parents' permission first!
Jr. Time Lord
8/24/2019 04:32:44 pm
Still Mocking You
8/24/2019 05:16:02 pm
And the button is connected to a battery, hence electricity, hence "sparking up". At least Goofus isn't an idiot.
Jr. Time Lord
8/24/2019 10:04:59 pm
If your battery "sparks up"... You're in trouble. Search: e-cigarette explodes in man's pocket
8/24/2019 10:29:56 pm
If the vape pen malfunctions it's not because there was a spark inside the battery. People spark up, batteries don't. You really are stupid. Usually when you press a button in an electric circuit there's a spark. You really are stupid.
Jr. Time Lord
8/26/2019 07:25:46 pm
Your convoluted attempt to explain away your archaic slang aside, my question still stands. Is there a correlation between ratings and legalized States? Wasn't it within few days of mushroom decriminalization in Colorado that DeLonge announced a Colorado concert? I would rather go to Branson Missouri with my in-laws than his concert. I would rather have a colonoscopy, root canal, and a lobotomy than attend that concert.
8/26/2019 08:00:48 pm
No one cares about your question Anthony.
Jr. Time Lord
8/27/2019 01:52:16 am
8/24/2019 09:47:30 pm
I'm so stocked to see you blog so at 19min into island of fire episode s14 ancient aliens there was a strange creature walking into the volcano did you see this here is a youtube link to it tell mw what youhttps://youtu.be/5XVkmS7Acnc think
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I am an author and researcher focusing on pop culture, science, and history. Bylines: New Republic, Esquire, Slate, etc. There's more about me in the About Jason tab.
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