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Review of Ancient Aliens S14E14 "The Nuclear Agenda"

9/6/2019

105 Comments

 
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​After fourteen weeks of the current season of Ancient Aliens, I confess to feeling fatigued. Each week it becomes harder to muster the energy to find something new to say about the show, particularly when it tries so hard to avoid saying anything new itself. Fortunately, we have a month off before the next new episode. ​The topic of the current episode, “The Nuclear Agenda,” ought to be familiar to any viewer who has seen the show over the past five or six of its fourteen seasons. That’s because it has already covered this material many times over, in greater or lesser detail, and repeating it here doesn’t really do a lot to make it interesting. Worse, since the topic deals with the supposed interest of flying saucers in nuclear weapons after 1945, there isn’t much here to capture my interest in things ancient. All I could think is that this same show suggests that aliens have mastered wormholes and can channel world-destroying dark matter from other dimensions and have piezoelectric space lasers and can direct asteroids to kill whole species, and somehow they are worried about a nuclear bomb? 
​Segment 1
The first segment discusses the recent Navy guidelines for reporting UFO encounters, and it falsely alleges that the guidelines are a sea-change in government policy. The guidelines weren’t intended as such, and the opening gambit has no connection to anything that follows. Instead, we start talking about the early stages of the U.S. nuclear program, followed by the results of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings, which at one point they illustrate with a computer-generated illustration of Hiroshima’s ruins on fire. The talking heads discuss how strange lights in the sky were seen around nuclear test sites, and it relates Kenneth Arnold’s sighting of nine arc-shaped small objects (wrongly described as discs) to the Hanford plutonium processing center. It claims that this center was “near” the Arnold sighting, but their own map shows it being hundreds of miles away. After this, the show returns to the fake Roswell Incident, which has been debunked too many times to deal with here.
 
Next, the show repeats material from their show about Soviet UFO encounters, and their claims about the “Russian Roswell” are no more convincing this time than the last two or three times they made them.
​Segment 2
My critics might scream bloody murder that Ancient Aliens isn’t meant to appeal to old conservative men, but why then are all the commercials for pick-up trucks, “made in America” pick-up truck accessories, beer, dress suits, meat, and hunting goods?
 
Anyway, the second segment begins with Soviet nuclear research and the subsequent Cold War nuclear competition between the superpowers. An old Look magazine article from the 1950s claiming that the Air Force gave out cameras to help servicemen capture UFOs on camera near nuclear sites is cited as proof that aliens are obsessed with nukes, but it’s really just evidence that the Air Force tried to determine whether the reports the public made about UFOs had any reality to them, and if that reality was a national security threat. When they figured out it wasn’t, they stopped.
 
Relating a story from the 1960s about a UFO supposedly caught on a military film of an ICBM launch, the show realizes that they had to actually label their video a “recreation” because it would be unethical to pretend otherwise. No such video exists in reality, according to the Pentagon, but the show tells us that it must because somebody once said it did. It’s thin gruel to build a case on.
​Segment 3
The third segment covers the 1967 incident at Malmstrom Air Force Base, a story that has expanded in the telling over the decades. The modern version is that UFOs disabled the nuclear weapons site and shut down its nuclear missiles. Skeptics claim that the event was actually due to an electrical failure. Giorgio Tsoukalos goes out to the Minuteman National Historic Site, a museum preserving a 1960s-era nuclear site, in order to “investigate” the incident by listening to the testimony of a UFO believer who was a member of the Air Force working at Malmstrom in 1967, some 52 years ago. Not to put too fine a point on it, but as I discovered this week, even those of us with sharp, clear memories can be blindsided to discover that our memories don’t match the past. After five decades, I credit his testimony less than I do my own memory of just two decades ago—and I apparently remembered only partial, whitewashed versions of events I thought I knew backward and forward. The segment ends by alleging that the government conspired to cover up the story.
​Segment 4
The fourth segment continues the story of Malmstrom, alleging that an investigation found no electrical problem and that the government ordered everyone involved to stay silent. Honestly, all I could really think about during this dull segment of evidence-free walks down memory lane was that Giorgio Tsoukalos has put on weight and his hairline is retreating faster than a UFO in the presence of a video camera. I say this as someone who went nearly bald at 30. Anyway, the show claims that Malmstrom might have been an “attempt” by aliens to force us to abolish nukes.
 
Then the show repeats material about the Rendelsham Forest incident and the Byelokoroviche, Ukraine incident, a weird story first reported by ABC News in 1995. As I discussed when Unexplained Files used these exact same examples in their episode on the same topic, “The first version of the story made the UFO 2,900 feet wide (yet somehow unseen except by about four people) but said that just one missile had a signal light briefly light up for less than 15 seconds, indicating that a launch code had been entered; now the story has grown into a much more frightening myth of imminent nuclear catastrophe.”
​Segment 5
The fifth segment revisits the very familiar claim seen in episodes stretching back to the 2009 pilot that Mohenjo Daro was destroyed by nuclear weapons, its buildings vitrified into glass, its people massacred. As I wrote in my review of a 2017 episode on the same topic:
In this version of the telling, the show sees no contradiction between asserting than only 43 (actually 37) skeletons have ever been recovered from the city and William Henry telling us that many bodies were found and some bodies were found arm-in-arm where they fell during a nuclear blast. (They were not; the bodies found were not contemporary with one another, and they were buried in graves.) We hear that the site was “vitrified” through supernatural or nuclear explosion, but as the video clearly shows, the buildings of the city are not all turned to glass. There is some vitrification, but it isn’t of building but fire-hardened pottery, from a dumping ground where vitrified pottery was buried. The nuclear explosion must have been pretty special if it left the entire city standing, and its mud brick buildings unburned, un-cracked, and still in good condition down to this very day.
​Childress repeats the lie that archaeologists found thousands of people dead in the streets. As mentioned, only 37 skeletons had been found, and they weren’t lying dead in the street, holding hands, as Childress claims. His claim that the skeletons were radioactive was Russian propaganda, which the show repeats uncritically because Ancient Aliens has a long history of displaying love for Russia.
 
The claim that Sanskrit texts provide accurate descriptions of nuclear fallout and radiation poisoning is a lie that I exposed almost a decade ago by actually reading the real texts. Ancient Aliens is repeating Soviet propaganda and lies from Morning of the Magicians that should have been obviously false even in the 1960s.
Segment 6
The final segment repeats material from “The Alien Agenda” episode from 2017, giving credence to Paul Hellyer’s paranoid ranting. He may have once been a Canadian government official in the 1960s, but he didn’t become a UFO believer until the 2000s, when he saw a Peter Jennings UFO special and decided that Earth was involved with multiple species of alien. Linda Moulton Howe confidently asserts that aliens are mad because nuclear weapons are “tearing into other dimensions” where “intelligences” live. I’d love to hear what her source is for that bit of fact-free garbage is. Did she interview an alien? Or did an intelligence from the Phantom Zone tell her to kneel before Zod?
 
I don’t know about you, but I will take the next month away from the show to enjoy my Friday nights. If last week’s audience of just 869,000 live plus same day viewers is any indication, the fact that fewer than 900,000 people have been watching the show for the past month suggests that a third of the show’s usual audience of 1.2 million have already preceded me in taking an Ancient Aliens holiday.
105 Comments
Hal
9/6/2019 10:53:53 pm

Review of review: admitted protector of pedophiles and rapist resorts to mentioning how a person looks heavier and is losing hair.

Reply
Kent
9/7/2019 02:25:52 pm

I look forward to your account of that time Jason raped. Your move.

Reply
Hal
9/8/2019 01:54:51 pm

Sorry, I got confused. I'm the rapist.

Reply
Harry Henderson
9/10/2019 11:12:25 am

Really, I don't think that farmer who's male ram you screwed will ever press charges.

Redactor
9/7/2019 12:50:38 am

I like the attempt at tying Hanford in the late '40s into a conspiracy theory. It was one of the most important places on Earth at that time and deserves to be mentioned in historical fiction.

Reply
Anonymous antifa member
9/9/2019 11:32:28 pm

Today, the federal government effectively subsidizes the Tri-Cities area by funding the Hanford Plant for purposes of cleanup and containment of nuclear waste. Strangely, it’s also a deeply conservative region that hates the tyrannical federal government.

Reply
Tri-Cities Resident
9/10/2019 03:09:06 am

So what the flying f*ck is your idiotic libtard point? Would you rather we do nothing and just let all of that toxic radioactive waste contaminate the soil and water supply which would lead to the deaths of millions?

Klunt
9/10/2019 01:25:56 pm

Angleton had a good idea back in the 60s: reroute some of the radioactive material to Israel so they could safely enclose it in bombs rather than poisoning people by leaving it laying about.

Kent Scales
9/7/2019 01:04:33 am

"My critics might scream bloody murder that Ancient Aliens isn’t meant to appeal to old conservative men, but why then are all the commercials for pick-up trucks, “made in America” pick-up truck accessories, beer, dress suits, meat, and hunting goods?"

You have a queer idea of old conservative men. Please stop promoting your young gay liberal who-knows-what agenda.

"I apparently remembered only partial, whitewashed versions of events I thought I knew backward and forward."

Have you figured out who your abuser was? That's the simple answer, of course you blocked it out.

Reply
Doc Rock
9/7/2019 10:46:31 am

Given the statements just in the past two weeks by candidates for the Democratic nomination about fossil fuel, automobiles, guns, eating meat, etc. one might see some relevance to that statement. But then again I know more than a few Dems who wear Mossy Oak and drive a gas guzzling pick-up with a gun rack. I suspect a lot of them will decide to go hunting instead of voting on Election Day.

Reply
Joe Kent
9/7/2019 01:15:50 pm

Yeah, it's like saying you're a Republican if you own a screwdriver. Calm down everyone, the analogy is screwdriver to pickup truck, not gun. Of course that works too.

I remember the time I pinned the third Medal of Honor on Smedley Butler just after the 9/11 attack when I was Vice President...and after offering a prayer to my Native American ancestors asked him "How much deductible do you pay every year?" If elected I pledge to make the removal of Muammar Gadhafi from power a priority. It's really the best thing for Libya.

FROGHEMOTH
9/7/2019 05:00:15 pm

So, you mentioned queer old conservatives and young gay liberals. Sounds like you're the one intentionally blocking something out. Why not come out yourself?

You'll be a lot happier embracing who you really are. You do know that homosexuals are people too, right?

Reply
Joe Kent
9/7/2019 11:35:48 pm

Oh there's no coming out needed, girlfriend! I'm as gay as the day is long and can suck cock for miles with a smile.

Let's hear about you! I like doing guys and being done by guys. What's your sitch? Holla!

FROGHEMOTH
9/8/2019 10:50:30 am

In that case, you da man!

Me? I love everyone, my brother! I don't have a black book with phone numbers, I just carry the white pages around!

Joe Kent
9/10/2019 10:38:20 pm

Only racists use the White Pages. Why are you a racist?

FROGHEMOTH
9/12/2019 10:22:11 pm

Yes I’m racist! Everyone who isn’t green sucks!

Kent klark
9/7/2019 10:13:40 am

Body shaming is a great way to review a tv show.

Reply
Kent
9/7/2019 12:09:01 pm

Jason,

It sounds like you are suggesting Look Magazine is reliable. What are you thoughts on the reliability of Time Magazine?

"Not to put too fine a point on it, but as I discovered this week, even those of us with sharp, clear memories can be blindsided to discover that our memories don’t match the past. After five decades, I credit his testimony less than I do my own memory of just two decades ago—and I apparently remembered only partial, whitewashed versions of events I thought I knew backward and forward. The segment ends by alleging that the government conspired to cover up the story."

Yeah, memories are tricky problematic things. That's all you've shown.

Reply
Why conservatives will never get the black vote
9/7/2019 12:53:45 pm

To counter the liberal media bias of the time, I guess people should have been reading William F. Buckley’s Weekly Standard in the 1950’s when he wrote “Why the South Must Prevail.”

https://adamgomez.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/whythesouthmustprevail-1957.pdf

Reply
Correction
9/7/2019 01:02:21 pm

National Review

Kent
9/7/2019 02:22:19 pm

Buckley to his credit also argued for jury nullification in that very article. And also to his credit said:

"It is tempting and convenient to block the progress of a minority
whose services, as menials, are economically useful. Let the South never permit itself to do this "

Also to his credit he never called Jews "termites" who practice a "gutter religion" nor did he ever call New York City "Hymietown". Nor did he ever incite murder like Al Sharpton, FBI informant, nor did he ever stomp a man to death on a sidewalk like Don King. Ooops! Almost forgot: he also never firebombed an entire city block killing 6 adults and 5 children and destroying 65 houses because some people were pooping in their front yard like Wilson Goode. And to keep it integrated he never burned 26 American children to death like Bill Clinton.

So yeah, Bill Buckley was a reptilian monster. But in the scheme of things, strictly a penny ante operator that the Federation could never get involved with.

Anonymous Turd
9/8/2019 11:03:10 pm

So the standard response to any criticism of someone if it lights your tampon string is "at least he never killed 11 people." Brilliant contribution to the discussion.

Kent
9/9/2019 10:20:42 am

And you think period shaming is preferable? I should get to a menstrual hut until I'm ritually clean enough for you?

Machala
9/7/2019 12:21:00 pm

"...After five decades, I credit his testimony less than I do my own memory of just two decades ago—and I apparently remembered only partial, whitewashed versions of events I thought I knew backward and forward..."

That is why is is called <His-story>. Our history is simply a story recalled as we subconsciouly wish it to be. It is colored by our own misperceptions and biased memory.

Reply
Poopyhead
9/7/2019 02:35:05 pm

Machala,

I know you know that's a fake back-etymology but it's still good.

But "Our history is simply a story recalled as we subconsciouly wish it to be. It is colored by our own misperceptions and biased memory."

Sounds like something a Holocaust Denier would say. Of course it bears remembering that history is written by the winners and all history is the history of crime.

Reply
Machala
9/7/2019 05:45:41 pm

I was thinking further back in time than the Third Reich and the Holocaust.

Because of a couple recent researches, I was thinking of the Greek historians Herodotus and Thucydides and Romans Tacitus, Livy, and Suetonius.

Still, I have never encountered anyone in either my reading or lifetime that has tried to pervert history the way Donald Trump does. Talk about deniers!

Reply
Poopyhead
9/7/2019 11:23:45 pm

Huh, that's interesting. You think Donald Trump is worse than Stalin and all Holocaust deniers?

How specifically? Or is it just "I don't like that guy?"

Reply
Machala
9/8/2019 02:35:13 pm

Poopyhead,
Trump shares many traits with the Holocaust deniers - including a racist desire to obfuscate the historic facts to suit a specific agenda. While Hitler, Stalin, Mao and many others were, like Trump, meglomaniacs and socio/psychopaths, although they perverted the facts to suit their own ends, none was a pathological liar like Donald Trump. I've known Trump since 1969 and the man has never been able to tell the truth about anything. He has always been a liar and a thief. Unfortunately, he has become a pathological liar who can no longer distinguish fact from fiction and is living in a reality totally of his own imagination and paranoia.
And you're right. I don't like the man. I never have.

Poopyhead
9/8/2019 03:16:59 pm

You've known Trump since he was 23? I suspect "I've known Trump since 1969" means you got fired in 1969 and retroactively blame Trump. Don't be someone who cannot cope.

Poopyhead
9/10/2019 07:18:46 pm

How do you account for all the births in Auschwitz? With extra food rations for pregnant women?

How do you account for the tattoos? Why number the prisoners before you kill them? Tattooing is not a quick process.

How do you account for the widespread use of Zyklon-B in the United States as an insecticide in the 1930s?

How do you account for Jerzy Kozinsky and Elie Wiesel, the two main Holocaust liars of the 20th Century?

Kentie McBoogerballs
9/7/2019 11:38:56 pm

Chapter 1: Douglas had to poop. His butt was all stinky because he had to poop so badly. There was a gross woman named Rebecca who was sunbathing all naked, and she was fat. Douglas walked up to her and said, "I need to poop." "Okay," Rebecca replied, "I like poop." Douglas squatted down [turns the page] over the fat sunbathing lady and went poop. The poop sat there on Rebecca's boobs looking like a wiener.

Reply
Hal
9/8/2019 01:56:41 am

Finally! The guy Jason raped cones forward!

Reply
Phil McCrackin
9/14/2019 09:31:27 am

That’s a story of the ages. I can’t wait to read the book. McBoogerBalls will go down in history as a true author, statesman and all around “greatest of all time” storyteller. Well done , McBoogerBalls. Well done. I also anticipate the 2nd installment relating to the “wiener turd” on the ladies cleavage.

Reply
Hugh Janus
9/14/2019 09:53:13 am

Mr. McBoogerballs literary works are found to contain some of the best writing in the history of language! His tome on the guy that sharted on a fat broads lung-warts was true literature. That book will be used in advanced lit classes for years to come.
His refreshing take on spewing butt gravy is to be intellectually savored.

An Anonymous Nerd
9/8/2019 10:47:20 am

Dear defenders of the Fringe/Right that pop onto these comments when Mr. Colavito reviews these shows:

I must point out to you that the celebrities you defend who sell you this stuff neither know, nor care about, you. Stop defending them as though they did. It's creepy.

-An Anonymous Nerd

Reply
Booger scrotum fan
9/14/2019 10:02:18 am

As a literary agent, I highly recommend the advanced wisdom of Mr McBoogerballs. He is a giant among writers. The prose that deeply describes the bacon strip left on a ugly fat bitches sagging tits (after booby-screwing) is simply brilliant. His deft handling of verbiage requirements describing fecal lubricants for the rolls of fat contained within the cottage-cheese-like butt texture is overwhelming. I can n

Reply
e.p. Grondine
9/8/2019 03:52:38 pm

Look, Asshole.

Jason is a Shit For Brains.

Reply
E.P. Grondine
9/8/2019 10:15:52 pm

Jason, this is not me.

Reply
R. Smullyan
9/8/2019 10:41:00 pm

Sending a message saying "This is not me" is a problem.

This is not me.

Not me
9/8/2019 10:43:10 pm

For the record?

I am also not me.

No one is me.

Wiki Forever
9/9/2019 10:17:34 am

"Plagiarism is not in itself a crime,"
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plagiarism

Doesn’t need wiki
9/9/2019 05:00:53 pm

While there is no actual crime labeled “plagiarism,” the act could constitute criminal fraud under certain circumstances. I’ve never heard of it being criminally prosecuted in the US though.

Derrida
9/8/2019 10:46:44 pm

Oh that's great!

Looks like everyone is ready for me.

Reply
TONY S.
9/9/2019 09:53:52 am

What the heck is going on with these comment sections lately? Not that they aren't amusing!

Reply
Doc Rock
9/9/2019 12:03:03 pm

The comments here are relatively mild compared to before the various members of the Kiddie Table started taking their meds and/or learned to be a bit more selective in picking and engaging their targets.

Reply
I.P. Grondinely
9/9/2019 01:02:30 pm

Look, Asshole.

Doc Rock is every bit as much a pedophile rapist as Jason is.

Rainbow unicorn
9/9/2019 02:44:21 pm

Tony S., maybe you find homophobic and misogynistic jokes and gratuitous foul language to be funny, but I certainly do NOT and I wiIll henceforth be boycotting this blog!

Reply
Don't scare the horses or eat Turing's apple
9/9/2019 03:29:39 pm

If you think saying "queer" is homophobic, take it up with Slate.com, if you think calling Jason a pedophile rapist is misogynistic take it up with the posters, and if you think "gratuitous" foul language is a problem take it up with E.P. Grondine but do it quick because he's old and death-bound. With any luck, this month.

The Squad
9/9/2019 03:51:10 pm

By posting a protest here hasn't Rainbow already taken it up with the posters, including E.P. Grondine or anyone else who the shoe fits for that matter. Great lecture to someone suggesting that they do something that they have already done. What is next telling Jason he needs to review the episode of Ancient Aliens that he just reviewed here?

Curvy Coed Creampie Session
9/9/2019 05:37:09 pm

Usually when people say they're leaving it really means "be on the lookout for my next post."

Bezalel
9/10/2019 01:07:02 am

My characteristically dark foreboding notions and turbid thoughts have been eradicated by the many hilarious contributions to this blog.

Very refreshing!

Thank you
You know who you are

Reply
Free editing service
9/10/2019 01:54:32 am

“Turgid” would be a more appropriate description of whatever thoughts inspired your worthless contributions.

Reply
Bezalel
9/10/2019 01:36:59 am

And now back to turbid...
Jason said

"All I could think is that this same show suggests that aliens have mastered wormholes and can channel world-destroying dark matter from other dimensions and have piezoelectric space lasers and can direct asteroids to kill whole species, and somehow they are worried about a nuclear bomb?"

THANK YOU
THIS NEEDS TO BE SHOVED DOWN ALIENISTS THROATS.

So many people have no logic who believe otherwise.

The only people on the planet who would be gravely concerned about the status, location and operation of nuclear weapons are our own military personnel working for the highest levels. What I have stated on numerous occasions.

What better way to scare the living bejesus out of the Generals Colonels Majors and the Commanders all the way down to Sergeants and everybody else who are handling and operating this equipment......than a PERCEIVED uber technological "outside" threat.
Keeps them honest and remembering "Be careful with that axe Eugene!!"

Basic human management. Shock value works.

Ufos that appear to be interested in nuclear installations are no more than that.

Our own
Advanced
Technology
(No not back engineered...rather ENGINEERED)

10x more plausible than extraterrestrial.
No evidence whatsoever they are from another solar system. No compelling evidence aliens are here or ever have been.

We should be thankful that our Brass had the intellectual fortitude and creativity to generate such a secret infrastructure/dept/technology.

Likely saved the planet from destruction due to some wet behind the ears officer from throwing the wrong switch pressing the wrong button or mis-wiring that interlock circuit.

The overarching need for oversight begs this answer.

Don't respond without study and consideration.

Bitches



Reply
Kent
9/10/2019 07:07:45 pm

Fortunately we have several atomic weapons stored in underwater facilities off the coast of the Carolinas and Spain.

Reply
Joe Scales
9/10/2019 08:24:41 am

"My critics might scream bloody murder that Ancient Aliens isn’t meant to appeal to old conservative men, but why then are all the commercials for pick-up trucks, “made in America” pick-up truck accessories, beer, dress suits, meat, and hunting goods?"

This critic will remind you that you basically defined a skeptic as being free of bias. As the above is more ass-hattery than skepticism.... I'll give you a pass accordingly.

Reply
Kent
9/10/2019 07:03:01 pm

I don't watch the show so I don't know about "all the commercials" but...

Is Jason saying liberals don't wear suits or eat meat?

Reply
The Squad
9/11/2019 11:23:16 am

How many Republicans compared to Democrats are vegan, vegetarian or advocate for greatly reducing meat consumption.

How many Republicans compared to Democrats are lining up at the sporting goods counter to buy out Walmart's remaining stock of 9mm and .223 ammunition.

How many Republicans compared to Democrats are always posting their latest kills on Facebook while clad head to toe in the latest hunting fashion.

How many Republicans compared to Democrats are cruising around in four-wheel drive pick-ups with "Buy American" or NRA bumper stickers.

Tailor the advertising to the right component of society at the right time and right place. Its basic common sense in advertising and TV programming and a commodity that you are sadly lacking.



Reply
Tudlaw
9/11/2019 12:26:00 pm

9 mm, the favorite round of African-Americans and the cops who make their Lives Matter. .223 is what the taxpayers buy to slaughter and otherwise bother Iraqis, Afghans, and Syrians.

Doc Rock
9/11/2019 01:22:19 pm

Squad,

I'm not sure who you are addressing. If given the choice between investing in a Vegan restaurant or gun shop or pick-up truck dealership in a deep blue blue college town or one in a blood red town full of middle-age folks guess where my money is going. It is just important, however, to avoid falling into the trap of assuming that trends can be taken as universal rules and stereotyping people and places accordingly.

Tudlaw: If you thumb thru any issue of American Rifleman you will see that white folks are quite fond of the 9mm too. I don't know of too many black gang-bangers who can even legally buy 9mm pistols or ammunition. A lot of the crimes committed by them often involve the use of stolen weapons that were legally purchased at places like Gander Mountain or Bob's Grab-N-Go Gunshop. .223 ammunition is used in the military but also heavily used for target shooting, hunting, home defense, etc. That's why you would be hard-pressed to find any business anywhere offering rifle ammunition that doesn't have a stock of this caliber. Of course it helps the popularity of the .223 round that it does have quite the military market. But the same could be said for .45, 7.62, and 30-06 ammunition in the past.

Joe Scales
9/11/2019 02:22:52 pm

"Its basic common sense in advertising and TV programming and a commodity that you are sadly lacking"

It's confirmation bias, you imbecile, as you color Jason's post with your own. I suppose you also happen to believe that the Vice network is republican run as they rebroadcast stoners commentating along with the Ancient Alien rogues gallery.

Now go creep back into anonymity, pending your next embarrassment of a post forcing you to change your moniker yet again. Or grow a pair and use one name so folks can know whose posts to ignore from the get go. You imbecile.

Tudlaw
9/11/2019 03:19:22 pm

I suspect you don't know even one black gang-banger. And as Mr. Grondine has pointed out a man is judged by how many black friends he has.

I don't read American Rifleman because I'm not an NRA member. But I understand that whites also go Indiana Jones and like the Short Round. Then again, whites fund the rap music industry.

My main home defense strategy is not being home.

Bezalel
9/12/2019 01:07:15 am

Scales
It's remarkable how consistently you resort to name calling when your pathetically ignorant arguments fall to shit.

Take the blinders off and learn objectivity because you haven't begun to approach it

Joe Scales
9/12/2019 09:53:03 am

Bezalel, you imbecile. I'm not going to waste an argument on partisan puppets or people who have clearly shown they use Google for brains; as if the simple act of contributing here makes them smart somehow. I used to just ignore them, but when their ankle-nipping becomes incessant, then they get my rebuke accordingly. They're the ones choosing to engage. Otherwise I'd be fine simply letting them revel in their imbecility.

As Jason said himself, skeptics are free of bias... so you all have some work to do. Come back after a sober reflection upon that, and then maybe I'll argue with you. Till then... revel in your own imbecility. You imbecile.

Larry Tate
9/12/2019 01:32:51 pm

Joe makes an excellent point, said no advertising exec or market researcher ever. This is what happens when people meet their spouses at family reunions and then procreate.

Joe Scales
9/13/2019 09:32:57 pm

Well Mr. Tate, though Darin never had the balls to tell you what a brown-nosed, running dog you are... I'll do him a solid. Actually watching Ancient Aliens commercials at the moment. Though you trust our host to be free of bias, I certainly wouldn't take such a leap of faith. And yeah, other than the usual insurance company commercials, push for rental cars and wireless provider plugs... I did see one push for what seemed to be "meat". But lo and behold... it was for an "Impossible Whopper". Yeah, a veggie burger. You imbecile. Ancient Aliens is pushing veggie burgers. There's the beef.

Jason man... tell me you didn't think an Impossible Burger commercial was for "meat". And yeah, I don't suspect you'll ever own up to it. But just for future reference... it's a veggie burger man. A veggie burger.

Bezalel
9/14/2019 04:10:26 pm

Scales

Jesus what a gift!
Thanks for proving my point so quickly. You are the ankle-nipper here and the most triggered partisan this board possesses.

Run along now I think I saw some kibble and bits in the corner.

Joe Scales
9/14/2019 09:48:12 pm

Oh, the old rubber and glue thing.
And you think I proved your point...

Bezalel... you imbecile.

Jim
9/15/2019 11:51:22 am

Joe:
"And you think I proved your point..."

Oh, but you did Joe, lol

" But lo and behold... it was for an "Impossible Whopper". Yeah, a veggie burger."

Except Jason never said anything about a "Impossible Whopper".,
YOU MADE THAT UP !

Seems to be a bit of a pattern with you, attacking Jason for something he didn't even say, something that you introduced into the conversation.

http://www.jasoncolavito.com/blog/friday-roundup-hunting-hitler-star-blames-shootings-on-feminization-plus-jimmy-church-comes-out-against-to-the-stars#comments

"Except Jason didn't generalize that all of these shootings are done by right-leaning males. You made that up.
Which of course means that you are, in fact the one who is being intellectually dishonest."

We are all laughing at your oh so patently obvious machinations Joe. What a buffoon !

Kent
9/15/2019 02:39:27 pm

"Except Jason never said anything about a "Impossible Whopper".,
YOU MADE THAT UP !"

Jim, I think Mr.Scales's point was precisely that "Jason never said anything about a [sic] 'Impossible Whopper'" but referred to a commercial for something that is marketed as NOT meat as a commercial for meat. I haven't seen the show so didn't see the commercials; It's possible Mr. Scales missed a commercial for actual meat.

It's really pretty simple.

Kent
9/15/2019 04:25:26 pm

Also, Jim, and just to be clear you say:

"Except Jason never said anything about a 'Impossible Whopper'.,
YOU MADE THAT UP !"

Since Mr. Scales never said Jason said anything about a [sic]"Impossible Whopper" he couldn't have "MADE THAT UP!"

Jim. Are you okay? It's like you just want a fight and don't think through what you want to fight about. Jim.

Twiddledumber's Bane
9/15/2019 06:37:58 pm


Joe Scales
9/13/2019 09:53:55 pm

Were the "meat" commercials you saw last week for Burger King's Impossible Burger? Come on man... be honest.

Bloody Murder
9/15/2019 06:55:29 pm

"My critics might scream ... meat, and hunting goods?"

Hmm, you never see anyone advertising "hunting bads".

In a world where corpses move for up to a year after death, why couldn't meat scream? Now I'm hungry for steak tartare on a Saltine.

Joe Scales
9/15/2019 11:04:24 pm

Jim, you imbecile. How many times did you tell yourself you won that last exchange? By doing what... that last word thing. But I'm glad you linked to it. That's the one where I cornered you with the same argument I'd been making all along. The one you missed. The one google couldn't figure out for you. And for that last word, you even quoted it again.. and amazingly said I had somehow moved the goalposts. Jim, you imbecile. You're really that stupid. That dumb. That ignorant.

Now please... though I'm sure you'll get your last words in, and maybe even quote things piece by piece. Out of context. As is your want. But know this Jim. I know you're an imbecile. Pat yourself on the back all you want. Pretend it's your fierce intellect that will have me not engaging you on this forum. No Jim. I wish to ignore you because you are an imbecile. Now an ankle-nipper.

'twas that tilting at windmills that unbalanced you Jim. How ironic.

Jim
9/16/2019 12:23:18 am

So, a week after Jason reviews Ancient Aliens, Joe sees a commercial on TV flogging veggie burgers. Joe then deduces that when Jason used the word "meat" he really meant " veggie burgers" because,,,,er,,,,um,,I dunno,,,,I just saw a commercial for a razor, so maybe Jason was talking about a razor ?

Spaghetti logic

Kent
9/16/2019 02:02:02 am

Jim. "So, a week after Jason reviews Ancient Aliens, Joe sees a commercial on TV flogging veggie burgers."

Now who's "MADE THAT UP"ing? Jim. Jimbecile.

twiddledumber's bane
9/16/2019 09:48:05 am

Tweedledumber:

"Now who's "MADE THAT UP"ing? Jim."

Tweedledum 9/13/2019 09:32:57 pm:

" Actually watching Ancient Aliens commercials at the moment. Though you trust our host to be free of bias, I certainly wouldn't take such a leap of faith. And yeah, other than the usual insurance company commercials, push for rental cars and wireless provider plugs... I did see one push for what seemed to be "meat". But lo and behold... it was for an "Impossible Whopper". "

What a pair of clowns you two are.

Joe Scales
9/16/2019 10:10:35 am

"What a pair of clowns you two are."

And what a pair of glasses you need, you blind imbecile. Can't you read? First off, Ancient Aliens shows a commercial for a veggie burger that appears as a sizzling Whopper. Now this in and of itself questions who the advertisers of the show are appealing to. So that point was made to Mr. Tate, and of course evades an imbecile such as yourself. Then the question was asked of Jason if perhaps he saw this commercial too and didn't realize the Impossible Whopper was a veggie burger. Fair question. But of course not for partisan ass-hats such as yourself, quoting me out of context and incompletely. And yet your moronic stupor has you feeling somehow victorious. You imbecile.

So it really doesn't matter what you think or what you type; yet again with a different moniker. Because each and every time you post, it's an embarrassment of reading miscomprehension. You're not clever. You're not funny. You're an imbecile.
.

Jim
9/16/2019 11:09:31 am

Tweedledum :

"First off, Ancient Aliens shows a commercial for a veggie burger that appears as a sizzling Whopper."

Um, nope, Ancient Aliens don't show a commercial, the channel chooses what commercial and when to play them,,,,, oh, now I see, you think that every Ancient Aliens rerun has the exact same set of commercials as the original airing, not so Joe, not so.

" Then the question was asked of Jason if perhaps he saw this commercial too and didn't realize the Impossible Whopper was a veggie burger. Fair question."

Sorry, it wasn't a fair question, it was posed as an insult.
Jason ignored the insult and didn't respond as is normal for nonsensical questions, what's that saying ?
"The eagle kills no flies"

" But of course not for partisan ass-hats such as yourself,"

As I may have mentioned before, I am Canadian, certainly not a democrat. But of course in your extreme narrow minded world view and partisanship you can only see people as being of American Democrats or Republicans. Anyone who disagrees with you must therefore be a Democrat, because that's just Joe; the unbiased deep thinker.

" quoting me out of context"

Where did I do this ?

"and incompletely'

Feel free to add anything pertinent.

As for your last paragraph.
"So it really doesn't matter what you think or what you type;'

And yet, here you are, so watcha gonna do Joe ? Are ya goin' to hurl more insults ? That always makes a self convincing argument for those with limited mental acuity. Have at it.

Joe Scales
9/16/2019 11:28:46 am

Jim, you imbecile. I wasn't addressing you. I know this hurts... but you are simply too stupid to engage in rational discourse. So I am left again with pointing out the obvious. You are an imbecile. That is my only response to you. For this and all other times you stupidly choose to mischaracterize reality as you nip at my ankles. Jim. You are an imbecile.

JIM
9/16/2019 11:54:45 am

Joe:

"Jim, you imbecile. I wasn't addressing you."

Bwahahahahaha
So, like, who were you addressing ?
You best hurl a lot more insults and non sequiturs to cover up this laughable statement.
Have at it Joe, lots and lots more insults, show us your high intellect. I've got it, call me an imbecile, that always shows off your intellectual superiority.

Joe Scales
9/16/2019 12:44:52 pm

"So, like, who were you addressing ?"

The person I quoted, you imbecile. The one who I wrote was posting "yet again with a different moniker". And note, you imbecile, you cut that portion off your quote of mine to make it appear as if I was addressing you. Are you using different monikers Jim? Maybe you are. I don't know. I don't care. But I wasn't addressing you with that last post Jim and anyone who isn't an imbecile can see it.

Now they can see it too Jim. You are an imbecile. Case closed, I'm afraid.

Larry Tate
9/16/2019 01:15:17 pm

After the Trump rally lets all head to Burger King for a round of veggie burgers, said no one ever. It is common sense to engage in market saturation advertising when rolling out a new product like the veggie burger. The surprise would be not seeing this ad all over the place. Common sense, Tyro, common sense.

Kent
9/16/2019 01:25:25 pm

Jim. Facts not in evidence. You make an assumption that Mr. Scales saw a rerun rather than the first broadcast of the episode and argue as if that were true. Jim.

Joe Scales
9/16/2019 01:36:53 pm

Just slink away Mr. Tate. Like the rest of the brown-nosers here, you're not really helping Jason confront his bias issues.

Twiddledumber's Bane
9/16/2019 04:19:06 pm

Kent:

"Jim. Facts not in evidence. You make an assumption that Mr. Scales saw a rerun rather than the first broadcast of the episode and argue as if that were true. Jim."

Facts in evidence there Kentypoo, not my fault you don't understand our dating system.

Joe Scales: 9/13/2019 09:32:57 pm:

" Actually watching Ancient Aliens commercials at the moment."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe, so who did you think you were addressing here ?

"So it really doesn't matter what you think or what you type; yet again with a different moniker."

I guess you can continue to play dumb on this, you do it so well.
Makes me wonder just who you think you are fooling here ?
Not me, don't think Larry Tate is buying in, Bezalel ? nope; "Jesus what a gift!
Thanks for proving my point so quickly."

Only Americannegrodiscodankentetc seems to agree with you and he doesn't even understand our dating system.

And remember:
" Pretend it's your fierce intellect that will have me not engaging you on this forum. No Jim. I wish to ignore you because you are an imbecile."

Way to not engage me ! Should we expect another round of blazing insults accompanied by yet more examples of you making a fool of yourself ?

Kent
9/16/2019 06:17:35 pm

Bane: In a world without DVRs or BitTorrent or on demand viewing from one's cable provider or any number of streaming services that would be a good point. Lacking evidence or testimony it's not so good. You need to keep up with the times.

C for effort.

https://www.history.com/shows/ancient-aliens/season-14/episode-14

Kent
9/16/2019 06:23:28 pm

Bane:

"'Pretend it's your fierce intellect that will have me not engaging you on this forum. No Jim. I wish to ignore you because you are an imbecile.'

Way to not engage me ! Should we expect another round of blazing insults accompanied by yet more examples of you making a fool of yourself ?"

Remind me, who are you when you're home?

Twiddledumber's Bane
9/16/2019 07:15:50 pm

Many names:

" Lacking evidence or testimony it's not so good."

Cool, so you have evidence Jason saw the same commercials as what Joe describes ??????? Show me there big fella !!! Lol I thought not.

Jason:

"but why then are all the commercials for pick-up trucks, “made in America” pick-up truck accessories, beer, dress suits, meat, and hunting goods?

Joe:

" And yeah, other than the usual insurance company commercials, push for rental cars and wireless provider plugs... I did see one push for what seemed to be "meat". But lo and behold... it was for an "Impossible Whopper"

Does that even sound remotely like the same commercials ?
Well does it ????

Let s face it, it was Scales who made a bunch of dumbassed assumptions and laid this crap on Jason.
Or as Joe likes to put it, being intellectually dishonest.
There are your precious facts not in evidence.

Sorry Kentypoo, I can spare no more time today working with the mentally handycapped, perhaps some other time.

P.S. Have you and Scales ever been in the same room together at the same time ?

Kent
9/16/2019 07:44:53 pm

"Cool, so you have evidence Jason saw the same commercials as what Joe describes ??????? Show me there big fella !!! Lol I thought not."

That's a Jim strategy. Your alter has taught you well. Or did you teach him? You're asking me to know whether Jason or Mr. Scales walked out during a commercial break or did not. Jim.

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/argument.php

Lol? = 23 Skidoo!

Jim
9/16/2019 08:59:38 pm

"That's a Jim strategy. Your alter has taught you well. Or did you teach him? You're asking me to know whether Jason or Mr. Scales walked out during a commercial break or did not. Jim."

Exactly Kent, so you agree with me that Joe is making a bunch of evidence free assumptions and is out of line.
Thanks Kent.

Joe Scales
9/16/2019 09:05:32 pm

"Way to not engage me ! "

Wait a minute here Jim. So I tell you I would like nothing better than to ignore you. And in response, you change your moniker to engage me. Wow. That's certifiable Jim. I mean... I may be in your head, but I'm not actually IN there to know what you're up to.

Seems more like you're making up new screen names to support your own imbecilic endeavors here on this board. That's really, truly pathetic Jim. The sock-puppet master. Heck, Wolter has nothing on you. In fact, you and Gunn now have more in common. You have absolutely lost it Jim. So you imagine yourself as some demon-slaying hero? Bane? As if. You don't even know what day it is Jim. What day it is.

I told you man, it's that tilting at windmills that have you unbalanced. Now it's time for me to step away from the lunatic. Like I need yet another cyber-stalker. Jim, you crazed, psychotic imbecile.

Kent
9/16/2019 09:37:54 pm

"Exactly Kent, so you agree with me that Joe is making a bunch of evidence free assumptions and is out of line."

No, Jim. Sounds like you got the short end of the stick on this one. I'm saying you have reinvented yourself as an effwad who will argue against anything just for the sake of it, without regard to logic. Jim

How long until you tell me that I'm not saying what I say I'm saying? Jim.

Now I'm going to cuddle you and snuggle you like Mary in Taboo V until you let me talk to "Maureen". Jim.

Jim
9/17/2019 10:35:48 am

Joe:

" And in response, you change your moniker to engage me."

Um, but you knew that four or five posts ago, you really suck at playing dumb, almost as much as you do playing smart. I suppose we can try you out as a door stop, but this will be your last chance.

Kent:

"Now I'm going to cuddle you and snuggle you like Mary in Taboo V until you let me talk to "Maureen". Jim."

How large is your porn collection ?

Joe Scales
9/17/2019 11:29:56 am

To the person who changes their moniker each time they nip at my ankles on this board. I apologize for believing you to be this Bane character. Bane has now been revealed to be a psychotic imbecile, who likely also is learning disabled, created to bolster his own posts. Perhaps to avoid such confusion in the future, I will have to stop responding to those that change their screen names with each post, as I have stopped responding to the psychotic imbecile in question. Unfortunately, him being both psychotic and moronic, I don't expect the same courtesy in kind.

Jim
9/17/2019 11:55:45 am

Joe:

" I have stopped responding to the psychotic imbecile in question."

Thank you for your prompt response.

Doc Rock
9/11/2019 09:39:27 pm

Can anyone translate from the Tudlawese? This version of him is particularly tough to read although perhaps it might make more sense if I had not limited myself to two glasses of chard at the Olive Garden this evening.

Reply
Horse Worshipping Nacht Hag
9/11/2019 11:24:31 pm

"Can anyone translate from the Tudlawese?"

This for you can be done by me.

For a small fee.

I need about tree fiddy.

Reply
Jr. Time Lord
9/11/2019 11:56:15 pm

"I need about tree fiddy."

Damn you, Loch Ness Monster! Stay out of Doc's wallet!!!

Reply
HORSE WORSHIPPING NACHT HAG
9/12/2019 12:14:21 am

If you wish to scrye the Tudlaw scree?

You will pay this nominal fee.

Now, don't piss us off.

Jr. Time Lord
9/12/2019 02:53:03 am

"My critics might scream bloody murder that Ancient Aliens isn’t meant to appeal to old conservative men, but why then are all the commercials for pick-up trucks, “made in America” pick-up truck accessories, beer, dress suits, meat, and hunting goods?"

Actually, the commercials are usually for Preparation H, Tucks, Low T pills, reverse mortgages, erectile dysfunction pills, AARP, incontinence products, hearing aids, hair regrowth products, and Life Alert. I'm not even joking.


"Giorgio Tsoukalos has put on weight and his hairline is retreating faster than a UFO in the presence of a video camera. I say this as someone who went nearly bald at 30."

You sound like one of my friends giving me shit for having my full head of hair turn white. Like I tell them, "It could turn purple for all I care, as long as it stays."


"The fifth segment revisits the very familiar claim seen in episodes stretching back to the 2009 pilot that Mohenjo Daro was destroyed by nuclear weapons, its buildings vitrified into glass, its people massacred."

That story is much older than you think. I first heard it in October of 1992 when my sperm donor called me for the first time. Apparently, he's into pseudoscience/fringe/Woo too. Strange because, I haven't seen the man since I was 8 months old.

Reply
Kent
9/12/2019 06:09:23 am

How do you know what Jason thinks?

On the bright side, you apparently have a pipeline of free sperm!

Reply
Soul Sucked
9/14/2019 12:21:45 pm

Sounds like the commercials on Alex Jones show.

Reply
Terlit
9/14/2019 09:24:26 am

Test

Reply
e.p. Grondine
9/22/2019 01:28:26 am

I've oozed my bodyweight of goo in a giant sculpture yet no one listens to me..

Reply
RANDOLPH CARTER
9/22/2019 12:28:52 pm

I've seen your sculpture by the light of a gibbous moon... I fled.

Reply

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