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Review of Ancient Aliens S15E01 "The Mystery of Nan Madol"

1/26/2020

31 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
As Ancient Aliens rolls into its fifteenth season only a few weeks after the close of its previous season, there are a few changes. The History Channel moved the series from its longtime Friday at 9 PM berth to a new Saturday at 10 PM timeslot, likely in response to the show’s year-long decline in ratings. This time last year, the show had round 1.2 million viewers. By the end of 2019, that number had fallen to around 800,000 against rival Discovery’s popular treasure-hunting series, which draw three times the audience. With a third of the show’s audience evaporating, History shifted the show to TV’s graveyard, but it hasn’t abandoned its strategy of using the series as the TV equivalent of wallpaper, airing reruns in daylong marathons. With the lower expectations of Saturday night, the show’s core audience can still make it a success if it holds its own against much less potent competition.
Many things, however, have stayed the same. The show is still repetitive as hell. Nan Madol has been a staple of Ancient Aliens since its early days, and in season six they devoted a chunk of an episode on “forbidden islands” to the ancient site, and I covered their arguments at the time. These are repeated again wholesale in this episode. Back then, as I wrote, they spoke of
… Nan Madol and its massive basalt ruins constructed atop 92 manmade islands off Pohnpei. The show argues that the people of the city, being primitive brown people, simply could not have built them on their own because the blocks are too heavy for ancient people to lift and transport using muscle, ropes, levers, and boats. That’s just silly! Instead, sorcerers used “auditive levitation” to fly the stone using magic sound waves. Remains of this sound wave technology, of course, conveniently disappeared without a trace. The show asserts that the city is cursed and that the German governor died in 1907 the day after visiting the site as a result of the curse. Dr. Viktor Berg, the German colonial deputy governor of Pohnpei at the time, in fact died of sunstroke and exhaustion, according to the official records, shortly after excavating the tomb of Isokelekel. Later excavators of the tomb suffered no ill effects. The show fails to note that the “curse” was invoked at the time because Berg had been hated by the natives for his imposition of harsh German colonial policies, including disarmament and restrictions on cultural expression. It was part of native efforts to resist colonial rule, a constant source of tension during the German administration of the island.

The “second,” sunken city off Nan Madol offered up by David Childress does not exist. Repeated dives have found only natural rock formations.
And guess what? We hear the same thing again this time! Indeed, I’m pretty sure some of the computer graphics appeared in earlier episodes.
 
This time, however, ancient astronaut theorists Giorgio Tsoukalos and David Childress got a free vacation of the episode. The show paid for them to visit Nan Madol to shoot scenes for the show. “Will they solve the mystery of one of the world’s most baffling sites?” narrator Robert Clotworthy asks. No, they will not.
 
I have to say that it really sounds like Clotworthy is phoning it in this season. In parts of the narration, his voiceover almost seemed as if it had been cobbled together out of spliced audio, though I’m sure that wasn’t the case. He did have some strange mid-word pauses, however.
 
The show starts with a potted history of Nan Madol and then starts to make some uncomfortable claims. First, they assert that there is no reason for Nan Madol to exist since Pacific Islanders have no need for “advanced” large-scale cities. That’s pretty racist. Childress adds that the Pacific Islanders couldn’t have built the islands’ sophisticated irrigation system because… well, I guess because they’re brown. They don’t even offer an argument as to why indigenous people couldn’t have been responsible. They just assume the audience will accept that native peoples couldn’t do smart-person stuff. They also attack archaeology by arguing that there is no real way to date the site, so it must therefore be much older. For them, context doesn’t matter, so they reject the lack of evidence for occupation of Nan Madol prior to around 1100 CE.
 
Tsoukalos and Childress arrive in Nan Madol, and Micronesia sends its top official in charge of cultural preservation, Augustine “Gus” Kohler, to greet them and say some weird things about being unable to move the basalt blocks around the island. Another official, the country’s director of its national archives, claims that space aliens built the site. Micronesia seems to be in dire need of better science education.
 
Tsoukalos, without evidence, asserts that the site is “thousands of years older than mainstream archaeology suggests.” Childress agrees and asserts that archaeologists are hiding truth because they don’t want to admit to large-scale megalithic construction in prehistoric times.
 
Much of the discussion revolves around the question of whether human beings can move heavy things. Tsoukalos intentionally misunderstood an expert’s claim that calculus was needed to understand the physics of the bending of a doorway’s lintel under the weight of the wall above, and he therefore concludes that the builders of the site possessed calculus to engineer its doors. Calculus describes the doorframe, but it is obviously unnecessary to know that you need to put a big heavy beam across the doorframe to carry the weight. There is no indication that the beam was calculated to be the absolute minimum strength to carry the weight or any other factor that would suggest the use of calculus.
 
Eventually, they start talking about ghosts and claim the city is haunted and then imply that there is “something mankind is not yet meant to discover” under the city—basically Cthulhu in R’lyeh.
 
After a break, the show again marvels that stone is heavy and people in the past took so much effort to move stones. Tsoukalos and Childress find many different ways to imagine that Pacific Islanders weren’t able to do this, at one point claiming that “aerial surveys” were needed to quarry rock! The claim that the stones were levitated into place appears again, but now the two magician brothers who raised them have been transformed into “strange visitors” in order to imply they are space aliens rather than immigrants from Polynesia. They are also identified here as giants, though the claim does not appear in the non-fringe versions of the story I have access to. Alternative legends that birds carried the stones to the site are introduced as well, though the show implies that these birds are airplanes or drones and folds it into the story of the magician brothers as though they were one and the same.
 
As we spin toward the end of the show, our heroes attempt to hunt for the fictional “second” Nan Madol, the one underwater, using a submarine drone. The show tells us that the underwater cite is “pre-Flood” and dates back to 12,500 BCE. The show simply asserts that some natural formations under the water are a city. The failure of their drones is attributed to underwater alien technology in the underwater basalt. They decide that the basalt has been magnetized as part of an anti-gravity scheme, which ought to be easy enough to test with a magnet, but no one thinks to do that.
 
Childress declares Nan Madol as “naval” base and an airport for various types of ships traveling from Asia to Mexico and Peru. Clotworthy, in openly Christian terms, says this was “pre-Flood,” referring again to Noah’s Flood and Genesis. As ought to be obvious, there is no infrastructure at Nan Madol to support airplanes, nor is there any evidence of a port that could support and service massive warships in the style of imperial Europe or imperial China. Both Tsoukalos and Childress suggest that the city had to have been built before Noah’s Flood when the sea level was lower, though this negates their claim only minutes earlier that the current Nan Madol was built atop an Ice Age city. It can’t be both simultaneously, but the ancient astronaut theorists don’t want to risk accidentally admitting that humans could build things in water without alien help.
 
The show doesn’t really have a conclusion. It just sort of stops when they realize time is up. Clotworthy doesn’t even bother to raise his voice to its usual conclusion crescendo.
 
If I had to attribute the decline in Ancient Aliens’ ratings to a cause, it is probably this: For the first ten years, the show reveled in its own lunacy, throwing a wild array of claims at the wall in each episode and never lighting on any one topic for longer than a few minutes. Now in its dotage and struggling to fill time, they turn over each hour to a slower, more painfully boring vacation travelogue that only feints at times toward space aliens and spends the remainder of its hour basically summarizing the Wikipedia article about whatever the week’s topic is. It’s just not fun anymore, and I imagine that audiences get bored. I know I do. Ancient Aliens was never good television, but I could appreciate the pacing and scope in earlier years. Now, it’s just … so … slow.
31 Comments
Machala
1/26/2020 06:22:11 pm

Jason, your review has been up all day and I am ( at 6:30 pm CST ) the first post...yesterday's post that started with my basically saying most people don't give a damn about AA anymore, has ( of this time) 35 posts. Does that tell you anything?

Reply
AC
1/26/2020 11:30:25 pm

Before you posted your comment, there was a protracted flame war on this thread between Kent and Jim that was centered around issues of spelling and grammar with special emphasis on the use of dashes for certain compound-words. The argument became extremely bitter with accusations of stalking that included much foul language. It got so bad that Jason was forced to delete all 150 comments and so when you arrived the comments section was completely blank.

Reply
Machala
1/27/2020 11:11:44 am

Thanks for the information and apologies to Jason!
But it is sad, isn't it, that the majority of the posts on this blog have nothing to do with Jason's information and opinion, and everything to do with personal attacks and totally off-topic rants?

Jim
1/27/2020 11:31:39 am

Machala, what AC said is nonsense,,, didn't happen.
Just more of the usual garbage littering the comments.

Jason's opinion
1/27/2020 06:41:04 pm

It's well known that Jason's opinions are based on defending Christian belief. Knock Daniken off his perch and get on with believing in the Bible.

Theresa
1/26/2020 06:58:13 pm

The ancient astronaut theorists always say they can’t understand how something is done - so it must be aliens - even if there are experts who know and understand how it was accomplished.

I don’t understand how we got to the moon - must be aliens - even though there are astrophysicists and engineers who know it was done.

Reply
ANNABEL
1/27/2020 02:06:52 am

Exactly how did they move 50 ton stones?

Reply
Timothy Newman
1/27/2020 04:44:54 am

Sledges, levers, ropes, and people. Sometimes shovels or other digging equipment. Water in some cases. A ship or boat if you're going over water, which is quite a lot easier for longer distances. Experimental archaeology has tested quite a few possible methods, and there's sometimes evidence remaining at sites showing what was done.

Annabel
1/27/2020 05:49:37 am

Any links to such test where 50 ton stones have been put on top of one another?

Jr. Time Lord
1/27/2020 11:50:37 am

I have seen a woman raise an 11 ton obelisk with a kite.

Longblondesilver
1/27/2020 03:51:15 pm

I have an 11 inch “obelisk” that’s been raised many times by women!

Jr. Time Lord
1/27/2020 04:46:01 pm

The difference is I'm insane and make a lot of stuff up.

Deb
1/26/2020 07:18:02 pm

I sure hope Dr. Burton from UCLA got a hefty honorarium...

Reply
William Fitzgerald
1/26/2020 07:58:41 pm

"Micronesia seems to be in dire need of better science education."

Certainly. But, give them a little credit: even if you do think the natives are dumb, they're probably cunning enough to go along with whatever the white man wants to hear in order to intrigue tourists to visit; or more importantly convince tourists to spend their money.

Reply
Timmy
1/26/2020 10:10:44 pm

Any logical person's first question would be "How the hell did ancient people do that?" . And then brainstorm some possibilities. AA never asks that question, because in most cases the answer is obvious: Lots of manpower, a little ingenuity and plenty of time to try, fail, and try again. But I guess there would be no show unless "Aliens must have done it...".

Reply
Kent
1/26/2020 11:19:11 pm

The whole point of magnets is you don't need a magnet to tell if something is magnetized. In my day a 9 year old would have known this. SMFH.

Reply
JJR
1/27/2020 01:06:22 am

Did you use magnets to lobotomize yourself before you became a permanent in-patient?

Reply
Shaggy T. Dope
1/27/2020 01:41:49 pm

Fukken anti-gravity magnets. How do they work?

Reply
An Anonymous Nerd
1/27/2020 08:18:42 pm

Part of the problem of course is that, even if we knew more about this culture and this site, the Fringe would just disbelieve everything that real research has uncovered -- they do it time and time again to sites we know a good bit about such as Baalbek and the Pyramids.

But also there's the fact that there's just not a lot known about this site and especially how they did it. A little basic reading and listening suggests that the site was built at the command of a governing structure that, later on, folks were happy to see go. Also the culture passed their traditions verbally and had a prohibition of sorts on telling the entire story all at once. So we simply don't know how the site was built. There also seems to be some problems taking care of the site properly now.

But should we assume aliens or something else outlandish, because of that? The answer is now for the simple reasons that there's no specific reason to, and there are a lot of reasons to think that pre-modern cultures could have because they did elsewhere. Really quite simple. And 50 tons isn't that big compared to other stones that pre-modern cultures did indeed quarry and move and place.

As simple as that, really.

Here are some links. I didn't have time today to go to a library to see if I could find book references.

On Nan Madol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fdreKvuqgs

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/nan-madol-the-city-built-on-coral-reefs-147288758/

On ancient building techniques generally, see the various references here:

https://www.ancientaliensdebunked.com/baalbek

-An Anonymous Nerd

Reply
Straight 'outta Aegypt
1/28/2020 12:13:52 am

"Fringe..."

You just got to let go of this man. You with your "Fringe" bullshit.

First of all? You're right here sitting on it. It may be presently called by you, or even others as, "The Fringe", but nevertheless: here you are.

Second of all? It's (the "Fringe") going to change positions faster than you can say "Fringe". So chill with your butt-crack-regretful-wedgie-"Fringe"-bullshit.

52-year-old American males are not the goddamned "Fringe".

You, are the goddamned "Fringe".

Suck it up, know that your dreams of individuality have been robbed, and drive on.

Jesus!

Reply
An Anonymous Nerd
1/28/2020 08:27:58 pm

Yes, when the Fringe is sadly as commonly accepted, well-funded, and politically connected as it is these days, it's hard to define.

But, this is what I mean when I use the term: Folks who look at something such as historical documents, ancient sites, historical events, scientific data or observations, things of that nature, and perform analyses, adhere to views, and/or come to conclusions that are outside the mainstream views of those who actually are qualified to examine whatever the subject matter is.

For a hypothetical example if you were to look at a fire, and conclude that it literally was a demon, I would say "no, that is a potentially dangerous chemical process." And I would consider your view to be "Fringe."

For a real example, I'll draw from religion because that's obviously an important topic for you. If a very religious Christian were to look at dinosaur bones and say that these creatures must have existed alongside, and been domesticated by, humanity, I would say "no, there is specific evidence that they existed a very long time before humanity." And I would consider that view to be "Fringe."

For another real example: the "Solutrean hypothesis" has been a perfectly legitimate, if unlikely, academic proposition. The Fringe adopted it, and that's where it belongs now.

Everyone knows that supernatural things happen in the Bible by the way. There is no good reason to keep pointing that out, and it's rarely if ever in response to anything anyone ever said here, especially Mr. Colavito.

-An Anonymous Nerd

Straight 'outta Aegypt
1/28/2020 11:27:12 pm

Thanks for your response. I'm short on time, and everything else at the moment, as I'm sure we all are, but I wanted to respond promptly enough to favorably manage this connection, and in order to honor the time you spent responding. In other words: I've always liked you. Hi!

"Yes, when the Fringe is sadly as commonly accepted, well-funded, and politically connected as it is these days, it's hard to define."

So, I know you get what I mean in terms of The Fringe changing position. I don't know what happened there, either, but would you agree that "it" being "well-funded, and politically connected" happened only 4 years ago? That's how I experienced it. Sure, it's been creeping in, to my knowledge, since maybe 2010, but my experience depends on where I place my attention, so I obviously wasn't keeping up since the inception of AA, but only because it wasn't on my 'threat-radar', cuz I was focused on other crap. Anyhoo, short version is that as a fellow Nerd that's what I meant by having our individuality robbed. I mean, Christ-On-A-Crutch! They've hijacked Lovecraft. J pointed that out. I can't believe I can buy a stuffed plushie Cthulhu. Right?

"But, this is what I mean when I use the term: Folks who look at something such as historical documents, ancient sites, historical events, scientific data or observations, things of that nature, and perform analyses, adhere to views, and/or come to conclusions that are outside the mainstream views of those who actually are qualified to examine whatever the subject matter is."

So, in terms of "qualifications"? I no longer believe that some single college degree can provide the scope of knowledge to understand any of this shit. Nope. It would require a systems theory-approach. Otherwise? You and I agree on that. Really pisses me off when anyone gets all: "human beings couldn't accomplish that". I don't care what color that may have been when they built it.

"For a hypothetical example if you were to look at a fire, and conclude that it literally was a demon, I would say "no, that is a potentially dangerous chemical process." And I would consider your view to be "Fringe."" (Fix you punctuation 😊)

Okay, thanks, did not need the pedagogy. But I get where you are coming from.

"For a real example, I'll draw from religion because that's obviously an important topic for you. If a very religious Christian were to look at dinosaur bones and say that these creatures must have existed alongside, and been domesticated by, humanity, I would say "no, there is specific evidence that they existed a very long time before humanity." And I would consider that view to be "Fringe."

This one pisses me off. You apparently have me confused with someone else. You managed to ID me as a Christian: Good Job! But i sincerely do not require the "dinosaur-speech". That's weak-sauce, Brotherman. I'm here along with you.

Christ has been dragging Western Philosophy down the street by its ankles for a long time, and for good reasons. I'm sure we'll get to this later. Otherwise? There were times in the past when my fellow Christians would have burned me with glee. I forgive them for that, though.

"For another real example: the "Solutrean hypothesis" has been a perfectly legitimate, if unlikely, academic proposition. The Fringe adopted it, and that's where it belongs now."

No: The Fringe is everywhere, everyone has one, and everyone participates. That hypothesis is bullshit, and it's owned by folks like CRASH55.

"Everyone knows that supernatural things happen in the Bible by the way. There is no good reason to keep pointing that out, and it's rarely if ever in response to anything anyone ever said here, especially Mr. Colavito."

There's no such thing as "The Supernatural", and I'm fairly certain at this point that you are not truly my Anonymous Nerd. But thats okay.

Allllrighty then!

Enjoy whatever it is that Trolls eat for dinner. Sleep tite.

Straight 'outta Aegypt
1/28/2020 12:27:47 am

Don't be shy. You can have a reasonable conversation with me. I already know you're smarter than I am.

I'm just flabbergasted by your "Fringe" nonsense.

Reply
The Bible and Judeo-Christianity is Fringe
1/28/2020 03:08:51 am

What is all this bullshit that there is no supernatural or paranormal stuff in the Bible ?? Even the birth of Jesus Christ was supernatural and paranormal, having been born of a virgin. And the Nativity stories are not historical at all because Jesus Christ never existed - his "life" having been contrived during the Second Century.

Ancient Egypt and Pyramids
1/28/2020 03:13:20 am

You wanna know the facts about Ancient Egypt and the Pyramids - that's all hokum and ancient religious mumbo-jumbo that adds up to nothing at all. Just read the Pyramid Texts. It's all there. Rituals to non-existent Gods.

Bauval, Gilbert, Hancock and 10,000 BC
1/28/2020 03:17:30 am

Reading and writing wasn't invented until about 3400–3100 BC - and making star maps and constellations is more advanced than that. That puts the 10,000 BC theory into perspective. The same rubbish as Plato's claims about Atlantis made 9,000 years after the said event (if Plato was speaking historically and not metaphorically about Atlantis).

Straight 'outta Aegypt
1/29/2020 12:43:11 am

Kids?

We're stuck here. There is no "out-there" somewhere or anywhere. We're here. That's it.

Not only is there nothing "supernatural", or "paranormal" any where where we are, those words may as well be as fictitious as the concept of an historical "Jesus": none of them exist.

Astronauts eyes dissolve in LEO. Not even "space",in the Boweian sense, I'm just talking LEO. Our bodies dissolve out there. We aren't going anywhere. Ever.

Everything here is simply natural.

Do you know something the rest of us don't?

cruelsister
1/28/2020 08:26:55 am

"the basalt has been magnetized as part of an anti-gravity scheme".

Did they really state this? I guess the fact that basalt typically contains magnetite crystals (ferrous oxide) and is naturally magnetic (due to the intense heat of the lava flows which created it) wasn't a sexy enough explanation for them.

A half-assed Geologist knows this (even Scotty W).

Reply
Bob Jase
1/28/2020 06:28:03 pm

So are we to assume that the most technologically advanced civilizations in the galaxy make their buildings out of roughly cut stone?

Reply
Straight 'outta Aegypt
1/28/2020 11:52:58 pm

Nice shot, Man.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xrGST3l7NV0

Reply
Christine Erikson link
2/9/2020 01:31:53 am

basically the unexamined premise of ancient aliens mentality is that humans can't pick their noses without breaking their arms. if aliens were involved in anything, we probably taught them cyclopean building and they taught us oddball electrical stuff

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