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Review of Ancient Aliens S15E05 "The Mystery of the Stone Giants"

2/23/2020

30 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
In New York harbor, a giant copper statue of a woman stands on an island. No one alive today witnessed the construction of the statue, and the beliefs and ideology standing behind its erection are hazy memories, openly mocked by members of the United States government who are the successors of those who put it up. If Ancient Aliens were to be believed, this is proof that America had been colonized by giant women from space, for how else can we explain the presence of such a pointlessly large depiction of a woman wearing a “helmet” shooting “space lasers” from it, or covered in “antennas”? That’s about the depth and quality of this episode. Given the title, though, I would have expected the show to be a little broader in its look at stone statues, since they exist all over the world. We really get only a very narrow focus on Mesoamerica and Easter Island, which serves to make the show less effective than it might have been if anyone had given a shit about their topic.
“The Mystery of the Stone Giants” is premised on an exploration of large stone statues. The first set of statues are the four colossi of Ramesses II at Abu Simbel from the 1200s BCE. William Henry alleges that the statues within the temple, which are illuminated twice a year, absorb energy for some “technological” purpose. The do not, since they are solid rock and contain no moving parts. Immediately, the show compares this to Easter Island, Copan, and Göbelki Tepe, where the representational nature of statues as images of ancestors and gods is transformed into a claim that they were literally godlike in a material sense—that they have superpowers. Jeff Williams, a social media hustler who sells tips to “find gold fast,” shows up to claim that rocks vibrate with mystical energy. He bizarrely alleges that rocks are not “inanimate” because they contain many types of “minerals.” That doesn’t make any sense even by Ancient Aliens standards, but he then blathers about how cellphone EMF is dangerous but that rocks give out as much energy as a cellphone. He seems a bit confused about the difference between being a conductor and being a generator of electricity.
 
All of this, of course, returns to the familiar refrain of Ancient Aliens that the piezoelectric effect found in granite and quartz is somehow mystically important. In the past, they alleged that the granite of obelisks and statues would shoot power to satellites in the sky, but now they allege that because quartz crystals can be used to store data, therefore natural rocks such as granite are actually “5D quartz technology” storing antediluvian alien information. It should, I hope, go without saying that a small manufactured quartz glass storage drive is not the same as a naturally formed crystal or the fragments of quartz embedded in granite. Andrew Collins is very excited that such quartz memory drives could store data “forever,” though I’m sure that a hammer could destroy a civilization’s worth of data in a few seconds.
 
After the break, the show travels to Mexico and Central America to discuss the magnetic fields found in some stone statues, including the Olmec heads.  Archaeologists reported on the magnetism of the Monte Alban statues last year, which is undoubtedly why they refer to those statues here. David Childress calls the ancient peoples of Mexico and Central America “primitive,” and the show asserts that the ancient Americans’ interest in magnetism isn’t just native scientific discovery but rather was “instructions” from “alien visitors,” though they offer not a lick of evidence for the claim. Other cultures discovered magnetism, but the Greeks and Chinese somehow escape the taint of aliens intervention to teach them about magnets. They assert that the Olmec stone heads “were intended to be used for data storage,” though they do not explain how a naturally formed solid rock functions for data storage. Futurist and entrepreneur Nova Spivack tries, though, by alleging, vaguely, that “nanotechnology” encoded data into the stones. How, exactly, does he get people to invest with him or sell him their businesses, given that he seems to be a complete looney tune fantasizing about space aliens?
 
Next up, the show visits the Maya city of Copan in Honduras, repeating the allegation that the Maya “vanished,” though they are still living in the same area today. Giorgio Tsoukalos visits Copan with archaeologist David Sedat, who seems very excited about prostituting his own research and Maya culture to the ancient astronaut theory. Tsoukalos interprets every headdress and helmet on the carvings there as space helmets, though they have no glass visors—kind of important for a space helmet to be of any use. Helmets, of course, tend to look the same on the strength of the fact that they have to cover heads that are of the same shape.
 
Tsoukalos summarizes the ancient astronaut theory for Sedat and then tells Sedat that Mesopotamian gods wore the “exact same or similar” headdresses to those of the Maya gods. Sedat is seen to nod in agreement and then claim that the Maya statues were “memory chip banks” full of crystals that vibrate data. If that were the case, the broken stele should have revealed these memory chips, and yet they are not there. Sedat, however, doesn’t mean what Tsoukalos means. He seems to be under the impression that crystal retain impressions of the past and could be “unlocked” to release the impressions formed during the carving process. This is also nutty, but New Age dingbat ideas are not the same as asserting that the statues were computer chips.  
 
In the next segment, Sedat claims that stele are “supernatural personas” that can “travel through time” two million years in each direction. He seems to be speaking symbolically of the Maya rulers’ boasts to have witnessed astronomical phenomena in the deep past and far future through their “eternal” statues, but Tsoukalos takes the poorly worded claim literally, and imagines them a time machine.
 
As we move on, we look at the Toltec Atlantean statues at Tula (a conventional name, not actually from Atlantis), and Tsoukalos asserts that their warrior armor is in fact space-walking equipment. I’m certain spacesuits had at least 50% fewer feathers. Childress asserts that the moai of Easter Island could “influence” people by beaming out “energy” at them. He then returns to the longstanding Ancient Aliens claim, derived from twentieth century ley lines nonsense via Ivan T. Sanderson’s speculative fantasies, that there is a world energy grid where ancient sites stand.
 
Finally, as this weirdly rambling, unfocused show rolls downhill to a landing, it asserts that granite statues are “portals” that can open doors to other dimensions. It ought to be clear enough that this isn’t the case, since they have opened no doors to any living witness, but I suppose that explains what happens when you lose your keys: The granite countertops in your kitchen have sucked them into the Twilight Zone. It seems, though, that Childress understands that these claims are refuted by the simple fact of the portals’ nonexistence, so he offers the even more ridiculous idea that they only function when the complete “world system” of stone statues is in place and complete. That might have made sense except that the statues the show sites were erected between 10,000 BCE and c. 1200 CE, meaning that there was literally no time in human history when all of those statues were standing and ejaculating their phallic ancient astronaut energy loads the same time. So, either the system never worked, or the statues don’t work together, or Ancient Aliens and its friends made the whole thing up.
30 Comments
Hal
2/23/2020 10:27:30 am

The magnetic qualities of the Olmec heads was reported in the 1980s. Maybe you should do some research before you spew a lie.

Reply
No ONe Cares
2/23/2020 01:29:44 pm

Prove it?

Reply
Jason Colavito link
2/23/2020 01:38:07 pm

Last year there was a flurry of media coverage because of a study in Monte Alban of their magnetic properties, suggesting they were purposeful and not coincidental. I will clarify that I am referring to that study, which is what Ancient Aliens obviously googled.

Reply
David Evans
2/24/2020 10:05:45 am

Maybe you should think before you spew allegations of lying. Jason is not denying that the heads have magnetic properties. He is denying that they were used for data storage. He is right to do so since there is no coherent explanation of how they could be so used, nor any reason to believe it.

Reply
AMHC
2/24/2020 01:01:04 pm

The support that Jason FAILS to mention is called The Sheldrake hypothesis. Jason could have included this, but for the purposes of keeping this captive audience in a constant state of open hostility, he omitted it. Why can't Jason pass on information IN THE PUBLIC INTEREST? Surely, some of the denziens of this web Outpost on the fringe would like to LOOK UP SHELDRAKE? Is Jason a closeted Narcissist? I wonder....one small step from data storage to ephemeral energy to how oxytocin EXPLAINS AND JUSTIFIES the pathological struggle to LEAVE a real Narcissist?

Reply
Kent
2/24/2020 01:38:34 pm

You can be relied on to spout the stupidest nonsense available can't you? You're higher on the mental patient scale than Anthony Warren and that's saying something.

Sheldrake and his ideas are a tiny cloud of dust in the rearview mirror, not even yesterday's news.

AMHC
2/24/2020 11:48:58 pm

Sheldrake is a classic example of the last Barb I threw to Jason about what could have made a better article when he was posting about the so called "Professional" archaeologist who sold her soul to AA for the money. He failed to discuss serialization but went on to criticize AA for creating stand alone episodes and called the model repetitive. Sheldrake in this case is the same thing. We're discussing A STAND ALONE SERIES OF EPISODES and this means that FOR EVERY NEW VIEWER WHO GOOGLES SOMETHING JASON HAS TO KEEP UP THE PACE AND STOP SLACKING. HE HAS TO MENTION SHELDRAKE. How many new AA viewers HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SHELDRAKE? What's your hate based agenda if not Narcissism? Your OBSESSION WITH YOUR STUNTED EMOTIONAL GROWTH VAMPIRIZING A WEB SITE FOR EVERY CRUMB OF MEANING A NIHILIST LIKE YOU CAN SMASH SOMEONE OVER THE HEAD TO JUSTIFY YOUR EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATION. That's my opinion Kent. Sheldrake may have been disproved but PERRENIALISM SPRINGS ETERNAL.

Hey AMHC
2/25/2020 02:45:08 am

What good are such comments from a formulated religious fundamentalist.

An Anonymous Nerd
2/25/2020 07:31:27 am

1 - Calm down.

2 - Sorry to have to tell you this but your favorite Fringe celebrities in all probability do not care about you. (Neither does any other celebrity you happen to like.)

3 - "The Sheldrake hypothesis" is misnamed. Essentially it's standard new age material given inappropriate credence because it's spouted by someone who has an advanced degree in a semi-related field. The essential substance (is that the right term?) of it seems nothing you can't get the gist of from "Star Wars." I totally understood why Mr. Colavito didn't mention it. It's not even directly related to the topic.

-An Anonymous Nerd

Riley H Venable
2/27/2020 04:21:49 pm

I've missed y'all. Life got busy. I can't even remember my old screen name here.

Mr. Colavito,

Good to see the quality of your work is as good or better than ever.
Also good to see that most commenters are fact based and supportive.

Not surprised that Kooks still post here. I wonder if it is the same kooks under new aliases. I guess the population of kooks who read this blog and comment could be larger than I ever realized.

Mick
3/1/2020 10:44:49 am

What "captive audience"? You don't have to be here, and are welcome to leave at any time.

Aaa
2/23/2020 10:57:59 am

The stone spheres of Costa-Rica would be an interesting topic if AA has not covered it already. Nobobody seems to know how, why and when these spheres were made.

Reply
Rock Knocker
2/23/2020 07:34:36 pm

Really? Wikipedia seems to know....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_spheres_of_Costa_Rica

.

Reply
Jim
2/23/2020 09:58:25 pm

So now Wikipedia and Nobobody know about them,,,,, sounds like the cat is out of the bag !

AwkwardMoment
2/24/2020 01:01:59 pm

You obviously didn't read what you linked. There is barely one vague sentence about the origin of the spheres

Kent
2/24/2020 05:13:36 pm

This vague sentence?

"The spheres range in size from a few centimetres to over 2 metres (6.6 ft) in diameter, and weigh up to 15 tons. Most are sculpted from gabbro, the coarse-grained equivalent of basalt. There are a dozen or so made from shell-rich limestone, and another dozen made from a sandstone.

They appear to have been made by hammering natural boulders with other rocks, then polishing with sand. The degree of finishing and precision of working varies considerably. The gabbro came from sites in the hills, several kilometres away from where the finished spheres are found, though some unfinished spheres remain in the hills. They are used for decoration."

Sal
2/24/2020 05:30:23 pm

“They appear to have been made by hammering natural boulders with other rocks, then polishing with sand.”

He wasn’t referring to your old man bowel movements.

Minnie
2/25/2020 03:45:47 am

_“They appear to have been made by hammering natural boulders with other rocks, then polishing with sand.”_

This can easily put to a scientific test. Let the scientist hammer and polish on of these with sand into a perfect or close to perfect sphere.

Kent
2/25/2020 02:04:42 pm

You mean like untrained children used to grind glass telescope mirrors to much finer tolerances than these "perfect or close to perfect spheres"? Do you mean like people cut diamonds?

Do you think Michaelangelo's David came that smooth from the factory?

Hitting and rubbing things is not new technology.

Timmy
2/23/2020 07:02:52 pm

Whenever AA discusses the "energy' or "magnetism" of a monument or statue or "grid point" they should be required to report the magnitude of the "effect". I think they would find that 100% of the cases register no more than background in the surrounding area.But then there would be no "mystery".

Reply
David Childress
2/24/2020 09:44:48 am

The Olmec stone statue heads are obviously magnets used by the Nephilim to stick Babylonian tablet hieratic report cards on to time travelling alien refrigerators.

Reply
Dr. Whodat
2/27/2020 04:44:47 pm

I think you may be on to something, yet your theory fails to explain the Bigfoots (Biggest) traveling in flying saucers.

Reply
Pacal
2/24/2020 02:03:34 pm

Well, well so:

"Tsoukalos interprets every headdress and helmet on the carvings there as space helmets, though they have no glass visors—kind of important for a space helmet to be of any use. Helmets, of course, tend to look the same on the strength of the fact that they have to cover heads that are of the same shape."

What the hell!?

And has for Archaeologist Sedat well yes it does look like he is playing along.

Lets look at this in detail.

1. Mayan glyphs can know be largely, if not entirely, read. So we know in fair detail the history of the sight and probably the names of many of the people wearing the alleged space helmets.Oh and the inscriptions largely record the actions of the Copan Dynasty and make no reference to ET. And of course the space helmets just happen to have feathers in them. Whatever.

2. Even the most superficial research will reveal that the Mayan collapse occurred over a period of about century has revealed by the last dated inscriptions. However it appears that much of the collapse was the ending of dynasties and cultural products associated with that. Some sites did not experience significant depopulation for quite a while after the collapse. Copan seems to have, after the end of it's dynasty and termination of dynastic building politics to have been largely abandoned. However it's hinterland seems to have experienced little change for several centuries, unlike some other Mayan sites.

3. The above is easily found out. To me it is painfully obvious that Tsoukalos is simply not interested in doing even the most minimal research and certainly his ignoring of the fact that contemporary documents don't report ET is shall we say interesting. As for Sedat if he is playing along with this crap - just ugh!!!

Reply
Toltec Television
2/24/2020 02:39:37 pm

"...Tsoukalos is simply not interested in doing even the most minimal research and certainly his ignoring of the fact.."

Of course not! Giorgio Tsoukalos is a former body-builder contest promoter with a BA in Communications from Ithaca. He's not a scientist, not a researcher, and an authority on anything! He merely reads the script from the teleprompter written by one of the many hacks - like Max Thompson or Kevin Burns - hired by History Channel's AA producers. Giorgio is nothing but a Talking Head with a bad hair cut who only cares about keeping himself in the limelight and employed.

Reply
Jr. Time Lord
2/24/2020 04:18:32 pm

https://images.app.goo.gl/UDawq8A2hosZhmkz8


Nearly lost my coffee when I saw this.

Jr. Anthony Warren
2/24/2020 05:05:34 pm

Yes, seeing one's own image is often jarring.

So lonely,

Kal
2/24/2020 04:42:02 pm

Sheldrake's morphic resonance theory, akak Rupert's Resonance, has been debunked, or is at least untestable. According to Scientific American, those surveyed in the 2005 study were given biased information in the study and came to the conclusion that both the data about psychic memory and the data about seeing none were flawed. They could not prove through any peer reviewed analysis that it was testable.

Nonetheless, it does not apply here, as Rupert's Resonance is the theory that "people can tell through some extra sense that people are being stared at", which does not apply to rocks and crystals.

The skewed results did so causal issues. The ones who tested out as having this sense had an unusually high fear or fight or flight response, to certain staring tests. The other control group did not, and were not prone to the same. Hence there was not enough data in either group to conclude they had ESP or that it wasn't just their normal perception of 'being watched in a possible hostile environment". If the respondents were in a much "safer feeling" place, they did not have such issues.

My brief analysis of the articles in question did not include wikipedia. Rupert's Resonance is basically what makes some people very paranoid or scared in given situations, and is not ESP at all, but a very ancient trigger from when humans were more tribal and had more fear of the unknown.

Classical fiction not withstanding, including the works of xenophobic Lovecraft.

And the Mayans are not gone.

Reply
Lyn
3/1/2020 01:52:14 pm

I was interested to hear about Rupert's Resonance being the theory that "people can tell through some extra sense that people are being stared at" As a child in church during boring sermons, I, and a nuber of friends used to while away the time by staring at the back of someone's head who was sitting several pews ahead. Invariably, after several minutes they would become uneasy and turn around, glancing behind them. To us, it was a game, and it never occurred to me to wonder how it worked. THAT it worked was to us self-evident. In later days I assumed it was some residual instinct that warned a person they were being watched and this could indicate danger. I find it interesting to hear there is some sort of study on it.

Reply
Lyn
3/1/2020 03:29:31 pm

And having gone away and read the article on this that I found, I now find it still more interesting - and possibly confusing - that it is said not to work. It certainly worked for us, even factoring in scientific explanations as to how we only thought that it did. Sorry, It worked for us. And I have no idea why scientists couldn't replicate something half a dozen of us did for some five years. I'm now wondering if it had anythng to do with all of us being pre-pubescent.

Reply
this link link
3/5/2020 02:03:50 am

Your topic is very great and useful for us…thank you

Reply

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