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Review of Ancient Aliens: Ultimate Evidence S01E01 "Beyond Nazca"

5/15/2015

30 Comments

 
I had no idea that Ancient Aliens: Ultimate Evidence was premiering tonight of the History Channel. There was very little publicity, and up until this afternoon my on-screen cable grid said History was showing an untitled episode to be determined. (Dish Network, I am told, listed the show as a rerun, which, in fairness, it sort of is.) I’m still not clear whether “Beyond Nazca,” as the episode is titled, is part of Ancient Aliens season seven, or is a new series as my cable company lists it. I tried checking the internet, and as of this writing a few minutes before the “series” premiere, there was literally nothing written about the show in the media. It seems that History is pretty sure that ratings for Ancient Aliens are the same no matter what they show or when, so why waste money promoting a new show when the same people will tune in anyway?
The new series, or sub-series, or whatever this monstrosity is, promoted as THE MOST CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE EVER in the on-air promos, at first seemed like it would be a reimagined version of Giorgio Tsoukalos’s In Search of Aliens under another name before revealing itself as a Frankenstein monster of a cut-together instant-rerun compiled by adding new(ish) footage to the skeleton of an old episode. How else to explain the “new” series returning to the well plumbed twice on In Search of Aliens last year and innumerable times on Ancient Aliens itself? The Nazca lines are, even for Ancient Aliens, old news—so old, in fact, that even Erich von Däniken, in his rare moments when he drops part of his mask, concedes that they are not extraterrestrial airport runways, as he first plagiarized from still earlier writers back in 1968’s Chariots of the Gods.

Oh, well: As it happens, this “new” episode is actually recycled almost entirely from Ancient Aliens S05E08 “Beyond Nazca,” to which some new (well, sort of) footage has been added. My review therefore will be my old review, with new criticisms added in, let’s say, blue (links are green).

My S05E08 Review: Ultimately Recycled!
I’m not entirely sure how the Nazca lines ended up becoming synonymous with ancient astronauts. It’s not as though they are a particularly natural fit. Sure, the large animal figures and long geometric shapes are strange, but they don’t really scream alien. Erich von Däniken started the theme in Chariots of the Gods (1968) when he wrote the following lines: “Seen from the air, the clear-cut impression that the 37-mile-long plain of Nazca made on me was that of an airfield! What is so far-fetched about the idea?” 

Even other alternative authors understood that there were problems with this idea. First, since when did flying saucers require landing strips? Second, even the drug-using neo-hippie Graham Hancock recognized in Fingerprints of the Gods (1995) that the soft rock of the Nazca plateau was a terrible choice to land a craft of any weight. As he said, “all are much too soft to have permitted the landing of wheeled flying vehicles.” Maria Reiche, the longtime promoter of the lines, agreed, saying that the UFOs would have “gotten stuck.”

Von Däniken didn’t try to explain or defend his idea, or provide even a scintilla of proof. Nevertheless, Twilight Zone and Night Gallery writer and host Rod Serling was particularly taken by the idea, being an aficionado of airplanes, and a photo of the Nazca lines convinced him the ancient astronaut idea had merit, leading to his participation in the film version of Chariots, called In Search of Ancient Astronauts, an NBC-TV special watched by around a third of all American TV viewers, some 28 million people, which in turn sparked the 1970s ancient astronaut craze and, in the process, made Erich von Däniken a millionaire several times over.

Calling the Nazca lines “runways” was, by sheer chance, von Däniken’s most fateful stab in the dark. 

So, here we are forty-five years later watching Ancient Aliens S05E08 “Beyond Nazca,” where the successors to von Däniken are still promoting the Nazca lines, though with less grounded claims about what the aliens were doing with the plateau’s various zoomorphic and geometric shapes. I’m not really sure what to say about this episode since everything in it was covered in previous episodes, stretching back to the pilot in 2009. [...]

We open with footage, and a bit of narration, from In Search of Aliens, and it seems that this show is going to differ from its predecessors only in that Giorgio Tsoukalos, who narrates the opening of the hour, seems to have recorded some new voiceovers to add some new material to the 2014 material. Oddly enough, Tsoukalos’s new narration is much worse than the recycled parts, with a heavier accent and slower delivery. There is so little attention paid to how this show was assembled by adding In Search of Aliens footage to S05E08 that Tsoukalos c. 2015 threw to clips of himself from 2013, with different hair. It is especially jarring when we see, without explanation, the long-dead Philip Coppens pop up from beyond the grave, reanimated to deliver repeat discussions of the Nazca lines, already morbid when they reanimated him in 2013.

The show starts with a potted history of the Nazca lines, including their recognition in early aerial flyovers. It’s probably worth noting that the lines are not “carved” into the desert so much as they are swept into them. The dark iron-oxide rocks scattered on the desert floor were pushed aside, exposing the brighter yellow clay ground beneath. It is a massive undertaking in terms of volume, but the actual construction of a single figure was not particularly arduous. The narrator eventually reveals this, more quickly than in the original episode, where the revelation was delayed until several pundits try to tell us how massive and complex and difficult the lines are.

So, since the construction of the lines doesn’t seem to be in question (at least not at first), the only question to debate is the reason for the lines’ existence. Giorgio Tsoukalos, surprisingly, shoots down the theory that the Nazca had hot air balloons, a popular claim but one without supporting evidence, arguing that the Spanish chroniclers would have written down such things. Since they did not, without any written record, “therefore, it didn’t exist.” He is unaware of the irony that the Spanish recorded no aliens either, and by his logic they therefore don’t exist, QED!

The show’s pundits want us to believe that the lines were meant to be seen from above, and some idiot (Linda Moutlon Howe) actually tries to resurrect the runway hypothesis, suggesting—despite the narrator’s own earlier statements—that the Great Triangle geoglyph appeared “pushed down” rather than cleared off, to a depth of (I believe she said) 24 inches, which is untrue since the lines are at best 1-2 inches deep. Giorgio Tsoukalos tones it down a bit, arguing that an alien rover or probe was scratching its way across the plateau on a research mission, but the narrator had already dismissed these possibilities, so why engage them now?

One segment from the original episode was removed here and can be read in my original review. Instead, around 10 past the hour, Hugh Newman tries to tell us the Incan god Viracocha was actually “connected to the Anunnaki,” but whatever segment this was lifted from is so truncated that the claim makes no sense and sort of hangs in the air, a stale reminder of more interesting versions of the same show that Ancient Aliens had done so many times before.

Next up, we review the Nazca astronaut, supposedly (according to Childress) either an astronaut or a Nazca waving to them. I can’t possibly dignify this since both Frank Johnson and I have previously explained how this figure is in fact a fisherman (as you can tell by the fish he holds), meant to signal coastal people that the highland Nazca were willing to trade fish. Ancient astronaut writers care nothing for the peoples who actually used such carvings, of course, because that requires acknowledging human action.

I have no idea what von Däniken is talking about when he says that the magnetic field beneath each line is anomalous and that the conductivity of the ground under each line is 8,000 times stronger than anywhere else at Nazca. Is he perhaps referring to the well-known magnetic anomaly in the Nazca plate (in the ocean, not on the plateau, though they share a name) caused by magnetized basalt? The only references I can find to magnetic fields at the plateau itself involve dowsing for ley lines, which is not really going to give you a measurement (or facts, but whatever).

Jason Martell tells us that Nazca must have been a mining outpost for nitrates, but no one on the show can quite explain why aliens would want nitrates, though Philip Coppens suggests it was for space travel, illustrated with computer-generated spaceships. Perhaps they enjoyed hot dogs? Oddly, no one thinks to look for the alleged mines the aliens would have used. Surely, if aliens had engaged in industrial levels of mining, there should have been some evidence that vast quantities of minerals had been removed from Nazca. 


So, after the second commercial, at the halfway point, we go back to Tiwanaku to restate material from [2012’s] S04E06 “Mysteries of Puma Punku.” (Puma Punku and Tiwanaku were part of the same larger complex.) This time, because Tiwanaku is east of Nazca, we hear that the Nazca lines “point” to Tiwanaku, which is silly since the lines are all over the plateau, so different lines (and there are 800 of them) point to different places.

Based on this Childress tells us that Nazca is a way-station on the way to Tiwanaku, via airship. An imaginary airship, mind you, since that hasn’t been established as being true. Another connection is the ritual elongation of skulls across the Andes, which Howe denies is the result of head-binding (she thinks it’s genetic engineering), but in this version material on Egypt is cut for time. But elongated skulls are well-known anthropologically, and head-binding to produce such skulls (typically as a sign of social stratification) has been observed down to the present.

The show suggests that the fall of the Middle Horizon civilizations (Nazca, Tiwanaku, and the unnamed Wari) was the result of alien intervention and catastrophic earthquakes. They make no effort to understand that South America was full of interconnected peoples and vast trade networks that experienced widespread disruption and collapse as a result of cultural forces and environmental factors. As a point of fact, though, the Nazca are actually an Early Intermediate culture, flourishing about 200 years before the Tiwanaku. Late Nazca ends by 800 CE, while Tiwanaku flourished for another two centuries before its collapse. It wasn’t simultaneous, unless you also think Napoleon and Giorgio Tsoukalos are roughly contemporaries.

Here the show adds a segment in which we splice in pieces of Tsoukalos’s In Search of Aliens episode in which he looked at elongated skulls in Paracas that even he failed to conclude were alien in origin, and he throws to the next segment from the 2013 episode.

Sadly, after the next commercial we move to North America to revive the old mound builder myth. We look at the Fort Ancient culture’s Serpent Mound of Ohio, a very famous earthwork. We hear from a Zuni elder, Clifford Mahooty, who is also a believer in ancient astronauts, but he’s talking about his southwestern mythology and erroneously claiming it is identical to the (lost) mythology of the Fort Ancient a thousand years earlier and a thousand miles away. So, the serpent can’t be proved to be Quetzalcoatl. We also get the ethnocentric master-adjective—“primitive”—to describe the Fort Ancient, discounting their ability to use baskets to pile dirt in big heaps. This, of course, required outside intervention for the poor, benighted Native people. […]

As we return, footage from the In Search of Aliens episode related to the Peruvian “Band of Holes” are spliced in, but with apparently new narration derived from a recent Ancient Aliens episode claiming that the long line of holes was used to transmit numerical messages by lighting fires in binary code from within the holes. Even Tsoukalos expresses doubt about this, so who am I to argue with Tsoukalos’s skepticism of so weird an idea?

After the new segment, Tsoukalos links to the Band of Holes to crop circles, which have long been acknowledged as hoaxes by the men who created them, even though ancient alien pundits refuse to believe this. He claims that crop circles and the Band of Holes are both “recently discovered,” which connects them for him, though the original connection between mounds and crop circles, omitted here, was perhaps stronger. The show tries to retain the mystery by acknowledging that some circles are hoaxes but others are simply too complex to be made by humans. Many successful attempts to replicate such circles have proven this to be an unsustainable hypothesis. Even Erich von Däniken agrees the crop circles are alien, and he tells us that we are “too stupid” and “too arrogant” to understand them at a deep level. I will agree that he believes he is too stupid to understand what a crop circle really is.

As we pull in for a landing, we discuss “new” discoveries (which they later admit were found first in 1927) of stone circles in the Middle East. These are relatively crude circles with spokes. They are often associated with burials and have solar alignments. None has yet been excavated, and archaeologists aren’t sure yet what they were used for, though the likely guess is burial markers or early worship sites. Sadly, the humorous part of the original episode in which the talking heads plagiarized this [2011] article and then speculated about circles got cut out of this episode for time, refocusing the segment on Nazca. A new ending to the show has Tsoukalos asking whether Nazca served as a communication beacon to other aliens, and Tsoukalos declares the lines to be proof (his word) of aliens, evidence “not even the skeptics can ignore!” If the first five time Ancient Aliens and In Search of Aliens made the exact same case failed to convince me, I fail to see how saying it louder and more insistently will change my mind.

Overall, it looks like the Ultimate Evidence series is little more than recycled old episodes recut with recycled chunks of In Search of Aliens, making it not just useless but doubly so, and also an insult to viewers, especially when History swore on air that these episodes would be THE MOST CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE EVER! I can’t imagine I’ll be reviewing further episodes of this “new” series unless it is to splice in new comments on old reviews for THE MOST CONCLUSIVE DEBUNKING EVER. Maybe I should just save myself the time and rerun my old reviews wholesale and see if anyone notices the few places where they will diverge from what appears on screen! After all, History seems to feel that you will accept a rerun as a new revelation, so clearly they feel the audience is dumb as a box of rocks.

30 Comments
Only Me
5/15/2015 05:35:45 pm

I suggest you edit your homepage to read:

Jason Colavito, Skeptical Xenoarchaeologist
THE MOST CONCLUSIVE DEBUNKING EVER

Go with it. You know you want to. :)

Reply
Denise Spear
5/19/2015 11:31:36 am

I second that :-)

Reply
paradoxo.gr link
6/4/2015 08:41:19 pm

mr.Colavito

Most propably never existed ancient aliens in the way Tsoukalos (Greek like me) put it.
Some of this bizzare work arround the world can be explained as
an effort to reach their gods.
We have to search and find who these 'gods' were and if they try
even today to manipulate our present (Vallee).
Sorry for my English.

Keep up the good work and don`t forget that there might be something else responsible for many 'anomalies' through history.

Reply
Hypatia
5/15/2015 05:42:56 pm

So you're saying that History repeats itself; or more precisely, recycles itself cheaply with cut-and-paste.

Reply
Only Me
5/15/2015 07:49:19 pm

I remember when people called History the "Hitler Channel". So, they replaced Nazis with aliens, while AA suggests connections between Nazis and aliens, and History doesn't give a shit as long as they have ratings and revenue.

And Scott Wolter will be returning later this year.

Crap baskets.

Reply
Bob Jase
5/16/2015 04:58:06 am

Its kind of like throwing bad sci fi & outdated archeology into a blender.

Reply
Alaric
5/16/2015 05:08:48 am

That really should be the blurb on the cover of CHARIOTS OF THE GODS.

Reply
Clete
5/16/2015 05:11:34 am

I believe the Nazca lines where messages to ancient alien vistors. The lines should be translated as "This is a good place to take a dump."

Reply
Shane Sullivan
5/16/2015 06:33:12 am

Did you hear that part at the end? Giorgio doesn't just believe, he KNOWS!

...That we should keep an open mind about the possibility that perhaps we might not be alone, maybe, according to last month's Reddit AMA.

Reply
Jason Colavito link
5/16/2015 06:52:05 am

Does it really surprise you that he's happy to read whatever lines the producers script for him? It sounds a lot like Ancient Aliens tried to add some extra rhetorical spice to try to make an otherwise useless rerun generate some attention. Or, we could take him at his word and imagine that he suddenly discovered "proof" between last month and now--except that he seems to have shot those segments before the AMA!

Reply
Shane Sullivan
5/16/2015 07:02:28 am

Eh, "know", "think", "remote chance", "100% certain"--they're all the same to him.

Albert Macias
5/16/2015 08:31:42 am

This show is such a joke! The history channel is a joke now!

Reply
Albert Macias
5/16/2015 08:39:07 am

In truth I think this show and the others like it are racist! They deny that Indians were to stupid to build with rocks or carve rocks that are granite or sandstone. When in fact all you have to do is add sand to a stone to grind it down, just like the Egyptians!

Reply
Only Me
5/16/2015 09:11:32 am

You did mean they *imply* "that Indians were to stupid", not *deny*, right?

Reply
Kevin
5/16/2015 11:47:25 am

Uhhhh, Scott Wolter's stupidity keeps growing everyday:



Scott WolterMay 13, 2015 at 6:31 AM
Neil,

Nielsen's report is very biased as we had a falling out over money he owes me for the "Compelling New Evidence" book. The release agent for the mold did cause a temporary darkening of the scratched areas at the bottom of the grooves after the mold was removed. However, the scratched areas gradually lightened and the temporary darkening is now gone. It was strictly a visual thing, light when wood or concrete gets darker when wet, but then returns to its original color when it dries.

Nielsen has tried to make an issue of the molding process (that he was also a part of) to try and discredit me. The molding process did not alter the artifact physically or chemically in any way. It's comprised of very tough minerals, but some people try to muddy the waters to serve their own agenda.

The KRS is just fine.

Reply

NeilMay 13, 2015 at 1:43 PM
Thanks for the information Scott. That's interesting since Neilson never said anything about being involved in the moulding process. How was he involved?

Reply

Scott WolterMay 13, 2015 at 2:47 PM
Neil,

At the time, Dick and I worked together daily and no decisions were made about the KRS unless we were in agreement to proceed. However, this is not about assigning blame and attacking me personally and professionally as Dick has been want to do for the past nearly ten years. The reality is there is nothing problematic about the molding of the stone or with any of the geological work I did on the KRS.

I just read the geological "report" Dick has posted on his website and the Swedes basically confirmed my findings in the narrative, but their conclusions show disagreement with some of my findings. The problem is they have no factual basis for the formulation of their opinions. Keep in mind the Swedes were very hostile toward the KRS and my work when I was there in 2003, so to read these negative opinions is not at all surprising.

In any case, the weathering of the KRS inscription is at least two centuries too old for a 19th century hoax and based on simple logic must be genuine. End of story IMHO.

Reply
Replies

AnonymousMay 15, 2015 at 7:59 AM
Can you please post the link to the Swedish report on your work?


Sal

Reply

Scott WolterMay 15, 2015 at 9:13 AM
Sal,

The link is already posted above, but I think this "report" has been edited by Nielsen as the conclusions are inconsistent with the comments in the narrative and a couple of the conclusions don't make sense coming from a competent geologist. These are just rambling comments and not a professionally written report. There is no proper structure to it, no photographs, no supporting data, no references, it's nothing that I take very seriously.

Regardless, there isn't anything damning to my geological conclusions anyway.

Reply
Replies

AnonymousMay 15, 2015 at 12:14 PM
Sorry I missed that link above. There are references however, on the last page. It also seems that the authors had been communicating with you concerning your findings. Was this before the Larsson papers were discovered? Because that's when most who were willing to see the KRS as possibly authentic, jumped ship.



Sal

Reply

Scott WolterMay 15, 2015 at 12:56 PM
Sal,

The Larsson Papers came out at about the same time. You have to understand the mentality of the Swedish academics to understand what happened during this time. There was a century-long, highly negative attitude toward the KRS based primarily on aspects of the inscription that today are no longer valid. To be fair, there are still questions to be answered, but the simple explanation is we're talking about a one-of-a-kind document that was not treated in a proper scientific way from the beginning. And we all know how hard it is to erase a bad reputation; especially when the rumors came from supposedly reputable people.

Professor Henrik Williams had just been reprimanded by the University in Uppsala, in 2003, for suggesting the KRS be restudied based upon my discovery of the two dots over the "a" rune in the word "har." This discovery erased the only word in the inscription that was indeed a modern word and made it an Old Swedish word. When the Larsson Papers came out it gave Williams the opportunity to make the KRS go away by claiming this could have been the modern source for the runes, so he "jumped."

The sad part is neither he nor any of his colleagues had the courage to acknowledge the obvious. The Larsson Papers are obviously Masonic in origin and the Swedish text above the runic alphabet that contained the KRS runes (not all the problematic runes BTW) clearly states it's ancient origins. The obvious conclusion Williams should have reached was the characters are much older and evolved over time from secret Baltic region Cistercian/Knights Templar alphabets into later Freemasonic secret coded alphabets. The problem for academics is they know nothing about Cistercian/Templar/masonic

Reply
David Bradbury
5/16/2015 09:13:49 pm

FWIW, here's my take on the KRS, knocked together some years ago, but now with dead links restored:
http://www.pastpresented.ukart.com/krs1.htm

Reply
Uncle Ron
5/17/2015 03:31:55 am

Intriguing; and to me it makes more sense, for the reasons you point out, than accepting the KRS at face value.

Only Me
5/17/2015 08:15:25 am

I tip my hat to you, David. I can tell you put some serious thought into your hypothesis. I've always had the feeling the "best" evidence to support the authenticity of the KRS could also be used to discount it. Thank you for sharing this.

Hypatia
5/18/2015 03:35:00 am

Thanks, David. It makes a lot of sense.

Sometimes I wondered if the loch Ness Monster had not been boosted way back to spook the Romans from invading.

ginger wentworth
5/17/2015 10:11:41 pm

I understand that funny feeling when you realize you've totally missed something like the proof that Aliens have visited. I felt like that when the Indonesian plane disappeared and a girl on the news said to her fellow anchor in a serious, newswoman voice: "Do you think it could be aliens, or something new?"
I swear to God. And he said something thoughtful and masculine back. I was totally proud to be an American.

Reply
Hypatia
5/18/2015 03:26:48 am

;) What did he say?

Reply
ginger wentworth
5/18/2015 09:51:52 am

Sorry-- in the email he sends Sundays JC says that in the publicity for this patched up rerun they describe it as presenting the "most conclusive evidence ever" of alien presence. He says the conclusive evidence passed him right by.
This anchorwoman must have seen that same show-- so did her co-worker. That was funny but awful.

Hypatia
5/18/2015 02:40:35 pm

Yes, I was wondering what the thoughtful and masculine reply from the anchorman was...:)
perhaps " Not to worry, dear. Our American technology experts on such abductions are working on it as we speak."

Hypatia
5/18/2015 03:01:47 pm

Then the cameraman can be heard mumbling: "yeah, wormhole abductions, we've just opened a new can of worms."

Mike Donovan
5/18/2015 05:10:51 am

This is a new thing these cable shows are doing. They add a little something to old episodes and re-air them as new with something added after a colon. River Monsters: Unhooked. Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence. Sometimes they show lost footage. Sometimes they have little post-it notes on screen. But is it basically the same episode.

Reply
THE GRIM REAPER
5/22/2015 01:01:10 pm

AND THE BIG ONE IS THAT MORON KEN STORCH SAYING ABOUT NAZCA "THEY CAN BE SEEN FROM SPACE"
HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE TO BELIEVE THIS MORON? NOT EVEN THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA CAN BE SEEN FROM SPACE, LET ALONE SOME SAND DRAWINGS!

Reply
Bob the Alien
6/18/2015 06:30:15 pm

Actually, the great wall of China is one of the few man made things that can be seen from space.

Reply
Day Late and Dollar Short
6/19/2015 07:05:32 am

Arguably. Apparently not very often, and only in the earth's lower orbit, but that's where the astronauts hang out, so...still counts?

http://www.nasa.gov/vision/space/workinginspace/great_wall.html

That Guy
11/5/2015 07:27:36 pm

While I seriously doubt intelligent aliens have ever visited Earth (or even have a clue its inhabited) it can't be entirely ruled out. I only wish there was a more serious show that would investigate scientific mysteries..a new In Search Of, if you will.

Reply
STEVE WARDLE
8/25/2022 12:19:53 pm

ISNT IT ABOUT TIME THE HISTORY CHANNEL TOOK THIS PSEUDOSCIENTIFIC CRAP OFF THE AIR?....ITS AN AVALANCHE OF ILL INFORMED BULLSHIT PROMOTED BY SO CALLED 'EXPERTS' WHO ARE NOTHING BUT BLATANT PROFITEERS CASHING IN ON THE GULLIBILITY AND SCIENTIFIC APATHY OF THE TIMES..... FOLKS, LEARN SOME CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS AND AT THE SAME TIME EMBRACE COMMON SENSE (A THING WHICH, DESPITE THE NAME, IS SO IRONICALLY IN SHORT SUPPLY THESE DAYS!... 😂😂😂... REGARDS STEVE.. 👍👍

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        • Fragments on Giants
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