JASON COLAVITO
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Books
    • Legends of the Pyramids
    • The Mound Builder Myth
    • Jason and the Argonauts
    • Cult of Alien Gods >
      • Contents
      • Excerpt
      • Image Gallery
    • Foundations of Atlantis
    • Knowing Fear >
      • Contents
      • Excerpt
      • Image Gallery
    • Hideous Bit of Morbidity >
      • Contents
      • Excerpt
      • Image Gallery
    • Cthulhu in World Mythology >
      • Excerpt
      • Image Gallery
      • Necronomicon Fragments
      • Oral Histories
    • Fiction >
      • Short Stories
      • Free Fiction
    • JasonColavito.com Books >
      • Faking History
      • Unearthing the Truth
      • Critical Companion to Ancient Aliens
      • Studies in Ancient Astronautics (Series) >
        • Theosophy on Ancient Astronauts
        • Pyramidiots!
        • Edison's Conquest of Mars
      • Fiction Anthologies >
        • Unseen Horror >
          • Contents
          • Excerpt
        • Moon Men! >
          • Contents
      • The Orphic Argonautica >
        • Contents
        • Excerpt
      • The Faust Book >
        • Contents
        • Excerpt
      • Classic Reprints
      • eBook Minis
    • Free eBooks >
      • Origin of the Space Gods
      • Ancient Atom Bombs
      • Golden Fleeced
      • Ancient America
      • Horror & Science
  • Articles
    • Skeptical Xenoarchaeologist Newsletter >
      • Volumes 1-10 Archive >
        • Volume 1 Archive
        • Volume 2 Archive
        • Volume 3 Archive
        • Volume 4 Archive
        • Volume 5 Archive
        • Volume 6 Archive
        • Volume 7 Archive
        • Volume 8 Archive
        • Volume 9 Archive
        • Volume 10 Archive
      • Volumes 11-20 Archive >
        • Volume 11 Archive
        • Volume 12 Archive
        • Volume 13 Archive
        • Volume 14 Archive
        • Volume 15 Archive
        • Volume 16 Archive
        • Volume 17 Archive
        • Volume 18 Archive
        • Volume 19 Archive
        • Volume 20 Archive
      • Volumes 21-30 Archive >
        • Volume 21 Archive
        • Volume 22 Archive
    • Television Reviews >
      • Ancient Aliens Reviews
      • In Search of Aliens Reviews
      • America Unearthed
      • Pirate Treasure of the Knights Templar
      • Search for the Lost Giants
      • Forbidden History Reviews
      • Expedition Unknown Reviews
      • Legends of the Lost
      • Unexplained + Unexplored
      • Rob Riggle: Global Investigator
    • Book Reviews
    • Galleries >
      • Bad Archaeology
      • Ancient Civilizations >
        • Ancient Egypt
        • Ancient Greece
        • Ancient Near East
        • Ancient Americas
      • Supernatural History
      • Book Image Galleries
    • Videos
    • Collection: Ancient Alien Fraud >
      • Chariots of the Gods at 50
      • Secret History of Ancient Astronauts
      • Of Atlantis and Aliens
      • Aliens and Ancient Texts
      • Profiles in Ancient Astronautics >
        • Erich von Däniken
        • Robert Temple
        • Giorgio Tsoukalos
        • David Childress
      • Blunders in the Sky
      • The Case of the False Quotes
      • Alternative Authors' Quote Fraud
      • David Childress & the Aliens
      • Faking Ancient Art in Uzbekistan
      • Intimations of Persecution
      • Zecharia Sitchin's World
      • Jesus' Alien Ancestors?
      • Extraterrestrial Evolution?
    • Collection: Skeptic Magazine >
      • America Before Review
      • Native American Discovery of Europe
      • Interview: Scott Sigler
      • Golden Fleeced
      • Oh the Horror
      • Discovery of America
      • Supernatural Television
      • Review of Civilization One
      • Who Lost the Middle Ages
      • Charioteer of the Gods
    • Collection: Ancient History >
      • Prehistoric Nuclear War
      • The China Syndrome
      • Atlantis, Mu, and the Maya
      • Easter Island Exposed
      • Who Built the Sphinx?
      • Who Built the Great Pyramid?
      • Archaeological Cover Up?
    • Collection: The Lovecraft Legacy >
      • Pauwels, Bergier, and Lovecraft
      • Lovecraft in Bergier
      • Lovecraft and Scientology
    • Collection: UFOs >
      • Alien Abduction at the Outer Limits
      • Aliens and Anal Probes
      • Ultra-Terrestrials and UFOs
      • Rebels, Queers, and Aliens
    • Scholomance: The Devil's School
    • Prehistory of Chupacabra
    • The Templars, the Holy Grail, & Henry Sinclair
    • Magicians of the Gods Review
    • The Curse of the Pharaohs
    • The Antediluvian Pyramid Myth
    • Whitewashing American Prehistory
    • James Dean's Cursed Porsche
  • The Library
    • Ancient Mysteries >
      • Ancient Texts >
        • Mesopotamian Texts >
          • Atrahasis Epic
          • Epic of Gilgamesh
          • Kutha Creation Legend
          • Babylonian Creation Myth
          • Descent of Ishtar
          • Berossus
          • Comparison of Antediluvian Histories
        • Egyptian Texts >
          • The Shipwrecked Sailor
          • Dream Stela of Thutmose IV
          • The Papyrus of Ani
          • Classical Accounts of the Pyramids
          • Inventory Stela
          • Manetho
          • Eratosthenes' King List
          • The Story of Setna
          • Leon of Pella
          • Diodorus on Egyptian History
          • On Isis and Osiris
          • Famine Stela
          • Old Egyptian Chronicle
          • The Book of Sothis
          • Horapollo
          • Al-Maqrizi's King List
        • Teshub and the Dragon
        • Hermetica >
          • The Three Hermeses
          • Kore Kosmou
          • Corpus Hermeticum
          • The Asclepius
          • The Emerald Tablet
          • Hermetic Fragments
          • Prologue to the Kyranides
          • The Secret of Creation
          • Ancient Alphabets Explained
          • Prologue to Ibn Umayl's Silvery Water
          • Book of the 24 Philosophers
          • Aurora of the Philosophers
        • Hesiod's Theogony
        • Periplus of Hanno
        • Ctesias' Indica
        • Sanchuniathon
        • Sima Qian
        • Syncellus's Enoch Fragments
        • The Book of Enoch
        • Slavonic Enoch
        • Sepher Yetzirah
        • Tacitus' Germania
        • De Dea Syria
        • Aelian's Various Histories
        • Julius Africanus' Chronography
        • Eusebius' Chronicle
        • Chinese Accounts of Rome
        • Ancient Chinese Automaton
        • The Orphic Argonautica
        • Fragments of Panodorus
        • Annianus on the Watchers
        • The Watchers and Antediluvian Wisdom
      • Medieval Texts >
        • Medieval Legends of Ancient Egypt >
          • Medieval Pyramid Lore
          • John Malalas on Ancient Egypt
          • Fragments of Abenephius
          • Akhbar al-zaman
          • Ibrahim ibn Wasif Shah
          • Murtada ibn al-‘Afif
          • Al-Maqrizi on the Pyramids
          • Al-Suyuti on the Pyramids
        • The Hunt for Noah's Ark
        • Isidore of Seville
        • Book of Liang: Fusang
        • Agobard on Magonia
        • Book of Thousands
        • Voyage of Saint Brendan
        • Power of Art and of Nature
        • Travels of Sir John Mandeville
        • Yazidi Revelation and Black Book
        • Al-Biruni on the Great Flood
        • Voyage of the Zeno Brothers
        • The Kensington Runestone (Hoax)
        • Islamic Discovery of America
        • The Aztec Creation Myth
      • Lost Civilizations >
        • Atlantis >
          • Plato's Atlantis Dialogues >
            • Timaeus
            • Critias
          • Fragments on Atlantis
          • Panchaea: The Other Atlantis
          • Eumalos on Atlantis (Hoax)
          • Gómara on Atlantis
          • Sardinia and Atlantis
          • Santorini and Atlantis
          • The Mound Builders and Atlantis
          • Donnelly's Atlantis
          • Atlantis in Morocco
          • Atlantis and the Sea Peoples
          • W. Scott-Elliot >
            • The Story of Atlantis
            • The Lost Lemuria
          • The Lost Atlantis
          • Atlantis in Africa
          • How I Found Atlantis (Hoax)
          • Termier on Atlantis
          • The Critias and Minoan Crete
          • Rebuttal to Termier
          • Further Responses to Termier
          • Flinders Petrie on Atlantis
        • Lost Cities >
          • Miscellaneous Lost Cities
          • The Seven Cities
          • The Lost City of Paititi
          • Manuscript 512
          • The Idolatrous City of Iximaya (Hoax)
          • The 1885 Moberly Lost City Hoax
          • The Elephants of Paredon (Hoax)
        • OOPARTs
        • Oronteus Finaeus Antarctica Map
        • Caucasians in Panama
        • Jefferson's Excavation
        • Fictitious Discoveries in America
        • Against Diffusionism
        • Tunnels Under Peru
        • The Parahyba Inscription (Hoax)
        • Mound Builders
        • Gunung Padang
        • Tales of Enchanted Islands
        • The 1907 Ancient World Map Hoax
        • The 1909 Grand Canyon Hoax
        • The Interglacial Period
        • Solving Oak Island
      • Religious Conspiracies >
        • Pantera, Father of Jesus?
        • Toledot Yeshu
        • Peter of les Vaux-de-Cernay on Cathars
        • Testimony of Jean de Châlons
        • Rosslyn Chapel and the 'Prentice's Pillar
        • The Many Wives of Jesus
        • Templar Infiltration of Labor
        • Louis Martin & the Holy Bloodline
        • The Life of St. Issa (Hoax)
        • On the Person of Jesus Christ
      • Giants in the Earth >
        • Fossil Origins of Myths >
          • Fossil Teeth and Bones of Elephants
          • Fossil Elephants
          • Fossil Bones of Teutobochus
          • Fossil Mammoths and Giants
          • Giants' Bones Dug Out of the Earth
          • Fossils and the Supernatural
          • Fossils, Myth, and Pseudo-History
          • Man During the Stone Age
          • Fossil Bones and Giants
          • American Elephant Myths
          • The Mammoth and the Flood
          • Fossils and Myth
          • Fossil Origin of the Cyclops
          • Mastodon, Mammoth, and Man
        • Fragments on Giants
        • Manichaean Book of Giants
        • Geoffrey on British Giants
        • Alfonso X's Hermetic History of Giants
        • Boccaccio and the Fossil 'Giant'
        • Book of Howth
        • Purchas His Pilgrimage
        • Edmond Temple's 1827 Giant Investigation
        • The Giants of Sardinia
        • Giants and the Sons of God
        • The Magnetism of Evil
        • Tertiary Giants
        • Smithsonian Giant Reports
        • Early American Giants
        • The Giant of Coahuila
        • Jewish Encyclopedia on Giants
        • Index of Giants
        • Newspaper Accounts of Giants
        • Lanier's A Book of Giants
      • Science and History >
        • Halley on Noah's Comet
        • The Newport Tower
        • Iron: The Stone from Heaven
        • Ararat and the Ark
        • Pyramid Facts and Fancies
        • Argonauts before Homer
        • The Deluge
        • Crown Prince Rudolf on the Pyramids
        • Old Mythology in New Apparel
        • Blavatsky on Dinosaurs
        • Teddy Roosevelt on Bigfoot
        • Devil Worship in France
        • Maspero's Review of Akhbar al-zaman
        • The Holy Grail as Lucifer's Crown Jewel
        • The Mutinous Sea
        • The Rock Wall of Rockwall
        • Fabulous Zoology
        • The Origins of Talos
        • Mexican Mythology
        • Chinese Pyramids
        • Maqrizi's Names of the Pharaohs
      • Extreme History >
        • Roman Empire Hoax
        • American Antiquities
        • American Cataclysms
        • England, the Remnant of Judah
        • Historical Chronology of the Mexicans
        • Maspero on the Predynastic Sphinx
        • Vestiges of the Mayas
        • Ragnarok: The Age of Fire and Gravel
        • Origins of the Egyptian People
        • The Secret Doctrine >
          • Volume 1: Cosmogenesis
          • Volume 2: Anthropogenesis
        • Phoenicians in America
        • The Electric Ark
        • Traces of European Influence
        • Prince Henry Sinclair
        • Pyramid Prophecies
        • Templars of Ancient Mexico
        • Chronology and the "Riddle of the Sphinx"
        • The Faith of Ancient Egypt
        • Spirit of the Hour in Archaeology
        • Book of the Damned
        • Great Pyramid As Noah's Ark
        • Richard Shaver's Proofs
    • Alien Encounters >
      • US Government Ancient Astronaut Files >
        • Fortean Society and Columbus
        • Inquiry into Shaver and Palmer
        • The Skyfort Document
        • Whirling Wheels
        • Denver Ancient Astronaut Lecture
        • Soviet Search for Lemuria
        • Visitors from Outer Space
        • Unidentified Flying Objects (Abstract)
        • "Flying Saucers"? They're a Myth
        • UFO Hypothesis Survival Questions
        • Air Force Academy UFO Textbook
        • The Condon Report on Ancient Astronauts
        • Atlantis Discovery Telegrams
        • Ancient Astronaut Society Telegram
        • Noah's Ark Cables
        • The Von Daniken Letter
        • CIA Psychic Probe of Ancient Mars
        • Scott Wolter Lawsuit
        • UFOs in Ancient China
        • CIA Report on Noah's Ark
        • CIA Noah's Ark Memos
        • Congressional Ancient Aliens Testimony
        • Ancient Astronaut and Nibiru Email
        • Congressional Ancient Mars Hearing
        • House UFO Hearing
      • Ancient Extraterrestrials >
        • Premodern UFO Sightings
        • The Moon Hoax
        • Inhabitants of Other Planets
        • Blavatsky on Ancient Astronauts
        • The Stanzas of Dzyan (Hoax)
        • Aerolites and Religion
        • What Is Theosophy?
        • Plane of Ether
        • The Adepts from Venus
      • A Message from Mars
      • Saucer Mystery Solved?
      • Orville Wright on UFOs
      • Interdimensional Flying Saucers
      • Flying Saucers Are Real
      • Report on UFOs
    • The Supernatural >
      • The Devils of Loudun
      • Sublime and Beautiful
      • Voltaire on Vampires
      • Demonology and Witchcraft
      • Thaumaturgia
      • Bulgarian Vampires
      • Religion and Evolution
      • Transylvanian Superstitions
      • Defining a Zombie
      • Dread of the Supernatural
      • Vampires
      • Werewolves and Vampires and Ghouls
      • Science and Fairy Stories
      • The Cursed Car
    • Classic Fiction >
      • Lucian's True History
      • Some Words with a Mummy
      • The Coming Race
      • King Solomon's Mines
      • An Inhabitant of Carcosa
      • The Xipéhuz
      • Lot No. 249
      • The Novel of the Black Seal
      • The Island of Doctor Moreau
      • Pharaoh's Curse
      • Edison's Conquest of Mars
      • The Lost Continent
      • Count Magnus
      • The Mysterious Stranger
      • The Wendigo
      • Sredni Vashtar
      • The Lost World
      • The Red One
      • H. P. Lovecraft >
        • Dagon
        • The Call of Cthulhu
        • History of the Necronomicon
        • At the Mountains of Madness
        • Lovecraft's Library in 1932
      • The Skeptical Poltergeist
      • The Corpse on the Grating
      • The Second Satellite
      • Queen of the Black Coast
      • A Martian Odyssey
    • Classic Genre Movies
    • Miscellaneous Documents >
      • The Balloon-Hoax
      • A Problem in Greek Ethics
      • The Migration of Symbols
      • The Gospel of Intensity
      • De Profundis
      • The Life and Death of Crown Prince Rudolf
      • The Bathtub Hoax
      • Crown Prince Rudolf's Letters
      • Position of Viking Women
      • Employment of Homosexuals
      • James Dean's Scrapbook
      • James Dean's Love Letters
      • The Amazing James Dean Hoax!
    • Free Classic Pseudohistory eBooks
  • About Jason
    • Biography
    • Jason in the Media
    • Contact Jason
    • About JasonColavito.com
    • Terms and Conditions
  • Search

Review of In Search of Aliens S01E03 "The Mystery of Loch Ness"

8/9/2014

54 Comments

 
After last week’s anti-Semitic debacle, In Search of Aliens turns to a less controversial subject, the Loch Ness Monster. Yes, episode S01E03 “The Mystery of Loch Ness” plumbs the depths of that utterly uninteresting cryptozoological search for a dinosaur-like creature in a small Scottish lake. What does this have to do with aliens? Good question. I think they ride on its back like Aquaman, or perhaps they signed a peace treaty with the monster to ensure its survival during the K-T boundary event that wiped out the dinosaurs. Show host Giorgio Tsoukalos once asserted that the Grey aliens signed just such a treaty with the coelacanth, so why not also with what Tsoukalos calls “the beast, the monster of Loch Ness”?
I find it interesting that the producers feel comfortable having Tsoukalos refer right at the top of the show to the Loch Ness monster and other sea serpents as “cryptids,” without explaining that this is a term used by cryptozoologists to describe undiscovered animals. This implies either carelessness or a belief that the audience for a show putatively about aliens is already familiar with cryptozoology. Even without Tsoukalos’s voice-over suggestion that sea serpents were brought to earth by space aliens, this is a bit of an odd assumption to make.

Tsoukalos gives us a potted history of the Loch Ness monster and its attendant cash-generating industry, presenting the “Surgeon’s Photo” of the Loch Ness monster. Its creator admitted the fraud in 1994, but Tsoukalos doesn’t disclose this until nearly ten minutes into the show. It’s also interesting that for an “ancient astronaut theorist,” Tsoukalos doesn’t immediately mention the ancient history of the monster, dating back to St. Columba’s battle with it in the early Middle Ages (Adamnan, Life of St. Columba 2.28). It will be discussed later, however. At any rate, we meet Steve Feltham, who claims to have devoted his life to hunting for the Loch Ness monster (henceforth “Nessie”) from his RV bedecked with Nessie kitsch. He makes and sells Nessie figurines to fund his research activities. “I’m living my life’s ambition,” Feltham says.

But in meeting Feltham, Tsoukalos makes a startling admission that reveals the heavy hand of the Prometheus Entertainment producers in shaping this slipshod show: “My expertise is ancient astronauts, so I’m not quite sure how Nessie fits into that realm, but it is a part of the unknown.” In the introduction, Tsoukalos claimed to be certain he knew the real alien connection to Nessie, but it is evident from his unrehearsed admission that he is simply shoehorning aliens into a monster hunt for the purposes of television. Is this simply a cynical exercise in mystery-mongering filtered through the network’s belief in the star power of Giorgio Tsoukalos?

Tsoukalos is quite taken by the fact that there is quartz at Loch Ness because “quartz is sometimes associated with the ancient astronaut theory.” Oh really? And who put it in the theory? Right: Your friends at Ancient Aliens. He acts like he and his “colleagues” aren’t directly responsible for these ideas, and that they have some sort of Platonic existence beyond his own involvement in promoting them. Tsoukalos reviews old Ancient Aliens claims that Egyptian obelisks used the quartz crystals embedded in their granite to shoot piezoelectricity to orbiting UFOs. Tsoukalos claims that he is at Loch Ness to investigate whether quartz at Loch Ness means Nessie has an alien connection, but since Tsoukalos doesn’t actually investigate this on site, or even mention it again while in Scotland, this almost seems to be a post hoc rationalization layered on top of the monster hunt in post-production to marry the footage to material gathered later in America.

Instead, we “investigate” a sonar image of the monster, and Feltham talks about spaceships and the hollow earth theory. Even Tsoukalos admits that he does not believe in a hollow earth, but he’s open to the idea that aliens are hiding from us “deep underwater.” He claims that the Native American Thunderbird is a spaceship that rises up from the lake. Tsoukalos wonders if the Loch Ness monster is actually… wait for it… “an alien craft.” Remember that for later because Tsoukalos won’t.

After the break, Tsoukalos goes on a stakeout to hunt for the monster, which we are no longer pretending is a spaceship. The sonar image from earlier is analyzed and compared to a plesiosaur. Tsoukalos travels to the Loch Ness Center to meet Adrian Shine, who has devoted forty years of his life to studying Nessie sightings, according to Tsoukalos.

Shine describes the many failures to find Nessie with science, including his own. Shine says that he has invented “new ways” to investigate Nessie that involve “treating anecdotes as data.” In other words, when science fails, treat folklore as real. Shine shows Tsoukalos a box of 300 Nessie sighting reports from the 1960s, and Tsoukalos introduces St. Columba’s battle with the monster around 565 CE. He neglects to note that St. Columba battled the monster in the River Ness, rather than the Loch. No description of the monster occurs in the text, much less the dragon-like sea serpent shown on screen. The illustration used for Columba is the same one that appears on his Wikipedia page, from a 1906 book. According to Shine, the monster Columba battled was actually a shape-shifting water-horse, from Celtic mythology.

Tsoukalos asserts that the water-horse and Nessie are the same, which undercuts his earlier thesis that the monster is a spaceship. In Life of St. Columba 2.28, St. Adamnan writes that the monster bit people, which is not really the behavior of a spaceship.

Tsoukalos, though, gives up on Loch Ness and after the commercial break travels to Vermont to visit Lake Champlain and its alleged lake monster, Champ. Tsoukalos admits that “there is no scientific evidence of Champ’s existence,” but that doesn’t stop him from speculating about whether Champ and Nessie commute between their lakes via a tunnel or a wormhole. What would the monsters eat in the weeks it would take to swim through a 3,000-mile narrow tunnel? I guess alien monsters pack a sandwich for the trip.

Here we get into some problems. After meeting with local historian Linda Bowen (the show’s first female guest!), Tsoukalos claims that Samuel de Champlain claimed to have seen a “strange creature” in the lake in 1609. This is not true. The famous quotation claiming he saw a “20-foot serpent thick as a barrel, and a head like a horse” came from a 1970 Vermont Life magazine article. It’s a fake. His real sighting is of a gar, a type of a fish:
[T]here is also a great abundance of many species of fish. Amongst others there is one called by the natives Chaousarou, which is of various lengths; but the largest of them, as these tribes have told me, are from eight to ten feet long. I have seen some five feet long, which were as big as my thigh, and had a head as large as my two fists, with a snout two feet and a half long, and a double row of very sharp, dangerous teeth. Its body has a good deal the shape of the pike; but it is protected by scales of a silvery gray colour and so strong that a dagger could not pierce them. (source)
Tsoukalos said that Native Americans had an account of a lake monster, which is true, but it is Gitaskog (or Tatoskok), the underwater panther or underwater horned serpent, a common mythic motif in Algonquian lore found all across the eastern half of North America.

Tsoukalos is dumbfounded by the famous 1977 photograph of Champ taken by Sandra Mansi. He claims not to have seen the photograph before (does he not watch H2?), and he asserts that it has never been debunked. While he is technically correct that the photograph has never determined to be a fake, skeptics such as Joe Nickell have identified the “monster” seen in the photograph as a log or fallen tree branch. Nickell also determined that at the place in the lake Mansi estimated the creature to be was actually only 12 feet deep, making it seem difficult for a large dinosaur-like creature to swim in such shallow water.

We return to a discussion of Gitaskog by speaking with an Abenaki chief, Don Stevens, the show’s non-white guest! Wow--In Search of Aliens made amazing progress this week on the diversity front. The Abenaki are not recognized by the federal government, and the state of Vermont recognized Stevens’s band only in 2011, at Stevens’s urging. Stevens is quite obviously influenced by modern science fiction, and in his telling—unsupported by ethnographic accounts from before the space age—the Abenaki are descended from alien-like gods who sailed across the Milky Way until they spied a blue planet and descended to search for water. Here’s how the story was told in 1949, and it does not match Stevens’s version. No Milky Way, no blue planet. Tsoukalos asserts that the cosmic turtle that formed the earth in Native myths is the same as the flying turtles Tsoukalos says are a part of Mayan lore and also the same as a UFO. This is interesting because back on Ancient Aliens, in a segment recently repackaged for the “Alien Transports” special edition, Tsoukalos claims that the same turtle sculpture that he now identifies as a UFO was actually a personal-sizes hovercraft-jetpack. Get your story straight!

At any rate, none of this has anything to do with sea monsters.

After the break, Tsoukalos goes on a hunt for Champ because we need to waste a few more minutes in fruitless adventure. Tsoukalos asks a geologist if he believes that a monster lives in the lake, which is about as relevant as asking a biologist if he thinks rocks give off mystery vibrations. The geologist tells Tsoukalos that there is a lot of quartz in the lake, like at Loch Ness. “Could it really be a coincidence?” Tsoukalos asks.

In California, physicist John Brandenburg talks about quartz with Tsoukalos. He discusses piezoelectricity and claims that stressing quartz can generate electromagnetic fields that can affect the structure of space-time at the quantum level. Something seemed off, so I checked on the man in the white lab coat. I knew I recognized him from somewhere. He is in fact a physicist but he’s also an ancient alien theorist who appeared on Syfy’s Aliens on the Moon “documentary” last month. He asserted there that the moon is home to hostile alien bases and demanded military intervention on the moon to contain the alien menace. He believes Mars was once populated by a humanlike race and destroyed by nuclear weapons. He also claims to have made an astounding discovery that goes beyond Einstein to unite gravity and quantum mechanics. Some of this is surely relevant to understanding his claims here. To look more credible, Brandenburg is wearing a white lab coat and standing in a classroom.

After the final break Tsoukalos briefly admits that Brandenburg has made weird claims about Mars, and Brandenburg claims that Nessie and Champ pop in and out of their lakes through wormholes created by stressing the quartz around those lakes, allowing creatures from hundreds of millions of years ago to wander into our reality via time travel. If you keep up with British or Canadian television, you will recognize this as the plot of the TV series Primeval and Primeval: New World—which even used “crystals” to visualize the wormholes! To paraphrase Tsoukalos, “could it really be a coincidence” that claims of crystal-generated wormholes spitting out prehistoric monsters emerge right after science fiction imagines them? It’s sort of like the way star gates became all the rage in fringe literature right after the movie Stargate.

So what is the evidence that the buried quartz around the lakes is generating these wormhole-creating fields? Surely such massive amounts of power should (a) be measureable and (b) have an effect on electromagnetic devices in the lake and in the surrounding areas. Yet no one’s pacemaker gives out whenever Nessie pops by, and no scientific survey has ever recorded one of these wormhole-generating bursts of piezoelectricity. I guess that’s because it’s all “quantum” and therefore magical.

Tsoukalos calls this the “perfect solution” because “everyone is right.”

…except for Tsoukalos, who long ago (i.e. 45 minutes earlier in this episode) claimed that Nessie was a spaceship. Did we forget that? We did, because no one really expects viewers to remember the beginning of the episode all the way at the end, not when we have time portals!

Oh, and speaking of things we’re supposed to forget: Tsoukalos was searching for aliens. How would naturally-occurring wormholes to Earth’s past (assuming they exist) have anything to do with aliens?

I guess we’re supposed to just shut up and keep watching.

54 Comments
Jessica
8/9/2014 04:14:18 am

'Tsoukalos asserts that the water-horse and Nessie are the same, which undercuts his earlier thesis that the monster is a spaceship. In Life of St. Columba 2.28, St. Adamnan writes that the monster bit people, which is not really the behavior of a spaceship.'

The biting described in the Life of St. Columba is OBVIOUSLY a misinterpretation of the sensation from being shot with a spacecraft's laser guns. Not unlike how Forest Gump describes getting shot in the buttocks as being bit by some creature whilst in the jungles of Vietnam.

Reply
Gregor
8/9/2014 05:10:06 am

And all that ice cream they gave him was so he wouldn't notice the third-degree burns & radiation-induced tissue necrosis! Lieutenant Dan wasn't so lucky... the space alien zapp-zapps got his legs :(

Reply
EP
8/9/2014 05:49:15 am

@ Jessica

Your ironic interpretation is unironically a lot more intelligent than anything they said.

Reply
Jessica
8/10/2014 07:07:20 pm

I don't think it's possible to say anything as unintelligent as what is said on this show. Trying to uncover an Illuminati conspiracy by examining shampoo ads would be more thought provoking than Giorgio investigating Nessie.

EP
8/11/2014 04:13:33 am

No one can just take a compliment these days :)

EP
8/9/2014 04:26:01 am

"The geologist tells Tsoukalos that there is a lot of quartz in the lake, like at Loch Ness. “Could it really be a coincidence?” Tsoukalos asks."

I bet there's also water in both lakes. I just blew your mind, admit it.

Reply
Gregor
8/9/2014 05:06:44 am

There's also radioactive fallout in Loch Ness. Obviously the aliens caused the Chernobyl disaster, knowing that some of the radioactive material would be carried across Europe and into Scotland, irradiating the Loch. Now, any time they want to stop by and see their human-plesiosaur-grey-bigfoot hybrid, they just have to tune their warp-space-radar-scanners to find that particular kind of radiation from anywhere in the universe!

Err, I mean, everything I just said... but with a question mark! I'M ONLY ASS-KING ZE KWESTZIONS! DEEZ MAN-STREAM SKOLARS IGNORE ALL ZE KWESTZION MAHKS!

Reply
Only Me
8/9/2014 03:06:31 pm

One is a lake, the other a...

Giorgio?

Giorgio: "Lockkkkkkkkkk!"

Reply
Clint Knapp
8/9/2014 05:04:02 am

Wait. Thunder Birds are underwater UFOs, but Water Panther is just a lake monster that may be a cosmic turtle jetpack? What the hell?

Oh, right. Native Americans can't be trusted to know the difference between flying and swimming now? Way to set that bar higher, H2.

Reply
Gregor
8/9/2014 05:14:30 am

I must admit, I only watched about 2-3 minutes of this. I suffered through the pseudo-Indiana Jones bullshit, but as soon as he said "Loch Ness", I cursed (loudly) at the tv and stomped off. 100% "I can't even deal with this".

I suppose this is the way the show will progress, though? Roping in increasingly unrelated subject matter in order to tie it to UFOs / Aliens by the most gossamer of threads? Can't wait for the Jersey Devil episode wherein it's revealed that it was actually a human-cow-bear-pig-horse hybrid that escaped the containment fields while the crew was busy ploughing some unsuspecting farmer.

Reply
Giorgio
8/9/2014 09:45:32 am

Thanks for giving me ideas for season 2!

Reply
Greg
8/10/2014 06:23:02 am

You could also team up with Al Gore and do a Man-bear-pig episode!

Zach
8/10/2014 07:37:18 am

@ Greg

Yeah, but who could ever take them cereal?

Zach
8/9/2014 05:36:32 am

Jason, you might find it interesting that in the April 1928 issue of Amazing Stories, there was a story called "The Ancient Horror," written by a writer name Hal Grant. I wanted to bring it up because the monster described in the story and the drawing alongside it resembles the Loch Ness monster. Here is a link to the issue:

http://www.pulpmags.org/PDFs/AMS_1928_04/index.html

It is on page 56. The story is very uncanny, in how much it is similar to both the Loch Ness monster, and "Champ." And if I recall, the story of the Loch Ness Monster took off in the early 1930's following the Surgeon's photo hoax. I don't know how much of an influence it would have had on the legend, but it still shouldn't be ignored.

Reply
EP
8/9/2014 05:52:43 am

OMG it's so dopey looking and adorable!

Reply
Zach
8/9/2014 06:34:55 am

I know right. Kinda goes against the whole "horror" idea. It's like something out of an old Disney cartoon.

Gregor
8/9/2014 06:39:36 am

...aaaaand I finally get a Mass Effect reference: the MSV Hugo Gernsback.

EP
8/9/2014 06:50:44 am

@ Gregor

You're not one of those people who wonder what Tali's sweat tastes like, are you?

Gregor
8/9/2014 06:58:50 am

@EP

... well I am now.

...Goddamnit.

spookyparadigm
8/9/2014 09:29:28 am

Never mind that, check out the absolutely bog standard flying saucers on p. 39.

Reply
EP
8/9/2014 09:41:47 am

...using their tractor beams on Die Glocke!

cdlefhcie
8/9/2014 08:25:51 am

Quartz? Really? Quartz is not exactly a rare mineral. I saw plenty of quartz when I was a kid. Although, I lived on the Chesapeake Bay and there was a legend of Chessie, the sea monster who lived in the bay. Oh my god, it is all coming together now. GIORGIO WAS RIGHT!! I will never doubt you again, you crazy haired man.

Reply
spookyparadigm
8/9/2014 09:25:46 am

"this is a bit of an odd assumption to make."

Kids seem to know this term, if based on nothing else than the legion of youtube videos they make of sea monsters and Bigfoot and such, incorporation in video games, etc..

History Channel, TLC (before it became what it is today), Discovery, and now Animal Planet have been running Monster shows close to daily since the mid-1990s. This stuff has always appealed to kids (I probably would have ended up here anyway, but the most direct link I can remember is a 5-year old me transitioning from interest in dinosaurs to the Loch Ness Monster via tv, National Geographic, and the books at my local public library).

Meanwhile, "flying turtles of Maya lore"? What the what now? What we consider Orion's belt was represented as a turtle with the three hearthstones of creation on its back, but I must be forgetting the bits about flying turtles.

Reply
EP
8/9/2014 09:44:32 am

Mayan flying turtle is a well-documented cryptid:

http://www.tripadvisor.ca/LocationPhotoDirectLink-g150812-i38395185-Playa_del_Carmen_Yucatan_Peninsula.html

Reply
Gregor
8/9/2014 11:58:35 am

It's turtles! Turtles all the way down!

Jason Colavito link
8/9/2014 10:26:52 am

I don't think you're forgetting anything. I'd be inclined to think they made it all up on Ancient Aliens and Tsoukalos is just repeating it. As far as I can tell, "flying turtle" is the name of a Zapotec iconographic element, not an actual myth, let alone a Maya one.

Reply
spookyparadigm
8/9/2014 10:57:43 am

I see now, it is a Zapotec thing, though flying may not be the best way to put it.

Screaming Eagle
8/10/2014 09:15:29 am

Long live Maturin, guardian of one of the Twelve Beams.

Clint Knapp
8/11/2014 04:06:26 am

Behold the turtle of enormous girth; upon his shell he holds the earth. His thought is slow, but always kind. He holds us all within his mind.

EP
8/11/2014 04:14:23 am

@ Clint Knapp

...but enough about David Childress.

.
8/9/2014 10:13:48 am

"After the final break Tsoukalos briefly admits that Brandenburg has made weird claims about Mars, and Brandenburg claims that Nessie and Champ pop in and out of their lakes through wormholes created by stressing the quartz around those lakes, allowing creatures from hundreds of millions of years ago to wander into our reality via time travel. If you keep up with British or Canadian television, you will recognize this as the plot of the TV series Primeval and Primeval: New World—which even used “crystals” to visualize the wormholes! To paraphrase Tsoukalos, “could it really be a coincidence” that claims of crystal-generated wormholes spitting out prehistoric monsters emerge right after science fiction imagines them? It’s sort of like the way star gates became all the rage in fringe literature right after the ×movie Stargate."

i happily discovered PRIMEVAL the TV series on good
ole Netflix! it is a good Sci-Fi series, it has its moments.
this does not excuse GT's antics or salesmanship at all.

Reply
. link
8/9/2014 10:24:02 am

Dr Who made time travel look easy as we saw
the Tardis move about the universe, if one can
traverse a wormhole, one also becomes a novice
time traveler even if its for a split second. the basic
assumption is that the energy needed for a launch
has any trips purely as one way and not round trip...

http://astroreview.com/issue/n-a/article/scientists-present-new-unified-field-theory-completes-einsteins-quest-for-a-way-to-unify-gravity-and-electro-magnetism

Reply
. link
8/9/2014 10:33:55 am

another story about theoretical physics and wormholes

http://theempowermentfactor.wordpress.com/2013/08/24/meet-the-nasa-scientist-devising-a-starship-warp-drive/

the paradigm shifts as each new hypothesis begs for a
way for it to be tested. String Theory has yet to pull away
from metaphysics solidly into standard text science. if it is
to be eventually successful, this is like Darwinists agreeing
that we humans have ancestors who were briefly Aquatic
Apes before our Savannah phase that is legendary and
contingent on a dryer climate after several phase cycles.

Paul Cargile
8/11/2014 03:17:06 am

The article you posted refers to the ideas of a Dr. John Brandenburg. Is that the same man from the episode under discussion?

Reply
Uncle Ron
8/9/2014 02:10:44 pm

"I find it interesting that the producers feel comfortable having Tsoukalos refer right at the top of the show to the Loch Ness monster and other sea serpents as 'cryptids,'... This implies either carelessness or a belief that the audience for a show putatively about aliens is already familiar with cryptozoology."

More likely it's a belief that the audience for the show is so completely ignorant that they will think that giving these creatures a scientific-sounding name implies that they are real.

Reply
666
8/9/2014 10:27:53 pm

Again, nothing new - it's all been done before

Frederick William Holiday, Dragon and the Disc: An Investigation into the Totally Fantastic, Sidgwick & Jackson Ltd 1973

Reply
.
8/10/2014 06:10:58 am

Good observation, Triple Six! i am a fan of STAR TREK!

------> "What does this have to do with aliens? Good question. I think they ride on its back like Aquaman, or perhaps they signed a peace treaty with the monster to ensure its survival during the K-T boundary event that wiped out the dinosaurs. Show host Giorgio Tsoukalos once asserted that the Grey aliens signed just such a treaty with the coelacanth, so why not also with what Tsoukalos calls “the beast, the monster of Loch Ness”? "

((((((((((((((drumrolls)))))))))))))))))

Of the all the Trek movies, the one where Kirk and crew go back
in time into our own era to save the whales from extinction is not
one of the ones the fans totally praised at the time. The K-T event
begs a question, its almost a time travel paradox... if one wants
evolution to go through its course, would it make sense to collect
up a "Noah's Ark" zoo prior to the predictable and certain event,
wait a while, and then release the animals back into the wild as
the environment stabilizes? Coelacanths do not manipulate
pens with their flippers, signing treaties may be impossible, but
if a very churlishly stubborn E.T Alien species is trying to bring
back Permian, Jurassic or Cretaceous sea beasties by releasing
the same into our rivers or lakes, only to see the animals die
out once again, this would be a rather nifty science fiction flic.
We are under pressure to take down some of our old dams so
that after we restock the streams and rivers of our West Coast,
we will see salmon in abundance once more. The way we are
dealing with our impact on the rest of the planet begs this as
a more intelligent idea. GT purely is a pitchman and showman.
Scott Wolter knows when he sounds stupid, but GT is still on a
learning curve. I have more respect for Stanton Friedman, period.

Duke of URL
8/10/2014 04:27:09 am

"...Egyptian obelisks used the quartz crystals embedded in their granite to shoot piezoelectricity to orbiting UFOs."
"...stressing quartz can generate electromagnetic fields that can affect the structure of space-time at the quantum level."
The Rockies (not far west of where I live) are heavily loaded with all sorts of quartz.
AT LAST, an explanation for the citizens of Boulder!

Reply
Clint Knapp
8/10/2014 06:11:49 am

Unfortunately, so is the rest of the Earth. Quartz is the second most common mineral in the crust. The mystery of Boulder's inhabitants continues. "I don't know, therefore aliens!" might have to suffice.

Reply
EP
8/10/2014 06:41:19 am

Some things are better left unexplained.

.
8/10/2014 06:54:28 am

Charles Fort was brilliant
when only half explaining
things. Solid claims need
a proof positive. ENJOY!!!
http://www.forteana.org/

Mick Youther
8/10/2014 08:48:53 am

I have to take exception to you review of In Search of Aliens S01E03 "The Mystery of Loch Ness". Lock Ness is not a small Scottish lake. It is a large Scottish lake .Loch Ness is the largest lake in Britain by volume and contains nearly double the amount of water in all the lakes of England and Wales combined. The rest of the review was spot-on--as usual.

Reply
Jason Colavito link
8/10/2014 09:02:59 am

You're absolutely right that it's the biggest lake in the British Isles. I guess it depends on your frame of reference. Living near the Great Lakes, I would describe most others as small. But in a European context, certainly it's a large lake. In context, it's roughly one-third the size of Cayuga Lake, near my hometown, by surface area, and I never thought of Cayuga Lake as a big lake. I guess it's all relative!

Reply
.
8/11/2014 04:45:24 am

Aptly said, Jason! That big long skinny lake that splits 1/3rd
of the state of Tennessee away from the other two thirds of it
is not due to the big melt as the Ice Age ended, instead its an
accomplishment of FDR's TVA. Has anyone compared Loch
Ness to the lake on all good maps of Ireland that does seem
to have quite a bit of water in it? Great modifies Lakes, they are
indeed a most unique water-way system and part of our border
with Canada, by implication we can picture the extent of the last
glacial sheet in its full magnificence. Greenland is almost a
continent, if looked at in a new context, but that is another insight.

Kal
8/11/2014 11:49:06 am

Ness, the mythical sea monster becomes a dinosaur only after movies like Jurassic Park. All sightings are hoaxes or drunken boaters out on the loch. Maybe the turtle reference is to tie into that awful Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles remake. Are this AA guys trying to invent a cult? This Ness thing is not the way to do it.

And one poster commented that the Star Trek about the whales. 'The Voyage Home', wasn't popular with fans at the time, but it was one of the best and most loved over all.

Crystals and dinos as the like does sound like Primeval, and that cheesy cartoon, Inhumanoids, and that comic book, Primortals. But it goes back to Land of the Lost, not the Farrell version, the 1970s version, where the bug eyed lizard aliens had crystals. Aha!

Maybe this T. dude with the hair should mix up his fantasy shows in with his wild assumptions! Yes, maybe next week they will actually do one on how to clone dinosaurs from fossils in amber, or how to remove Spock's brain to run a planet, or perhaps how to get space marines to use a stargate to go visit the zenomorph from alien, but watch for acid blood.

Reply
kal
8/11/2014 11:50:40 am

Meant to say that Voyage Home was actually quite popular.

Reply
Quatloo Jackson
8/21/2014 01:52:29 pm

This is the dumbest non-alien/ufo non connection from H2 yet. What's next? Perhaps the myth regarding the moon-green cheese connection. Aliens make that cheese you know.....................as ancient astronaut theorists belive.

Reply
Amanda
9/4/2014 11:53:03 am

In an old episode of Doctor Who, Nessie is a submarine created by aliens. Maybe he's confusing it with a documentary?

Reply
Jeremy
12/31/2014 05:44:17 am

Dinosaur-like? Plesiosaurs are NOT dinosaurs! Plesiosaurs and dinosaurs are on opposite branches of the diapsid family tree. Plesiosaurs died out during the Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event. Their closest living relatives are lepidosaurs (lizards, snakes, amphisbaenians, and tuatara). Dinosaurs, however, did not all die out as birds still exist. Ever eat fried chicken? You're eating a dinosaur.

Reply
The GRIM!
4/22/2015 11:51:27 am

TSOUKALOS IS A SIMPLETON!

Reply
Craig
4/23/2015 01:46:26 pm

Your commentary is certainly rather ascorbic and edgy . . (?)

Reply
summer link
5/18/2015 03:10:37 am

TSOUKALOS, for some of his errors, makes light years of sense compared to that of most mainstream scientists and academicians.

Give him a hard time if you like but he has, single-handedly done more for people who are sick and tired of the lies and people who are interested in biblical history than anyone.

Or are we all simply to remain content accepting the idea that a group of scrawny people....IN LOINCLOTHS...built a 5 story structure by pulling several ton bricks up inclines, for decades,.....to house a dead guy. (OH YEAH.....that makes PLENTY of sense)

You grab a large number of people TODAY and you have even a fraction of audacity to suggest that they, who live their lives in cubicle-like homes, must work their collective a--es off for 20 or so years to construct a 5 story structure, that, in it's completion, will be used to house someone's....dead body, and you will either be laughed at, mocked and ridiculed by the media at large, or the workers would riot.

So, I am EXPECTED to believe that somehow, thousands of years ago, people would have had NO PROBLEM....at all, with having to move around several ton formations....just to put a dead body in?
Really??? Oh yeah, the Egyptians would have been okay with that.
And people call Mr.Tsoukalos nuts.

Spare me!!!

What makes far more sense: the above or beings used high tech to simply levitate the stones into place??
I'm going with the latter. Even from a purely sociological perspective, the people would have revolted.

We have this idiot version in our heads that the ancient egyptians were these mindless automatons who simply worked like ants all day, worshipped a god-king, and were willing to build to the sky if need be, in order to please their god-king.
Give me a break!!!

People back then probably had the same hang ups that they have now. Not everyone was some starry-eyed ape who just obeyed. Like in that movie 'Star Gate' where everyone of the inhabitants are just a bunch of brain dead monkeys who drop to their knees anytime something appears, which they do not understand.

Tsoukalos is merely challenging all of us......to do something that is NEVER in vogue - THINK.

Sure, he may get somethings wrong but he also brings COMMON SENSE to the table.
That theory he has about the Loch being a gateway or portel may not be too far off.

I cannot stand people who criticize these Ancient Astronaut Theorists.
Tell, me.....do any of these 'scientists' have any better theories??? No. They have NOTHING. No one still has come up with a PLAUSIBLE way in which the pyramids were made nor what they were used for. No one. Everyone can criticize but after decades and decades....not one scientist or academician offered anything of substance.

Tsoukalos even tackles texts like The Book of Enoch, a book which the churches SHOULD be teaching, but do not.
Tsoukalos isn't even Christian but his show teaches more biblical history than one gets from a LIFETIME in church!!!!

The Fallen Watchers, Noah's birth, Enoch....what MOST christians don't realize is that the Book of Enoch is central to understanding the first parts of Genesis, which is nothing more than a summarized version of events...which is why the vast majority of christians are still left in the dark...and it's a travesty.

One reason people criticize him is because they have NOTHING to give.
The other reason is that "mommy wants all the cookies and cakes to herself." By telling the kids that there is a monster behind the closet (where her secret stash lies) she can continue to enjoy, in secret, that which she is keeping from the ignorant masses. Pure Hypocrisy.

DARPA and other agencies have long experimented with the SAME sh-- which they hire out agents, to call stupid, when a person like Tsoukalos mentions it.
So, Tsoukalos mentions...'Time Travel'

Not a moment after the word leaves his lips, agents, charged with keeping an eye out for anyone with 'mad' or 'radical', quickly jump on it, as if on cue, in the form of bloggers, journalists, ect, to shut down any and all interest by calling his ideas QUACKERY. Meanwhile....in some underground facilities, DARPA is experimenting with the SAME SH-- THAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK IS 'CRAZY'.

They want to keep the world dumb while they have access to exotic technology.

There is ACTUALLY a department in charge of perusing websites and monitoring TruthBringers...so that they can discredit them.

WAKE UP PEOPLE. People like Tsoukalos are our 'modern day prophets'/conspiracy theorists

Noah was the 1st official 'conspiracy theorist' and he had morons that cursed his name as well.....yeah, and they eventually got a nice 'shower'.


Reply
Rob
8/9/2016 11:03:02 am

Oh dear... beyond help I fear.

Reply
Shelby
3/9/2018 09:56:12 pm

The pyramid builders have been researched and well documented by scientists for years. People did build them and it did take a long time. Same situation in medieval Europe with their cathedrals, castles, and fortresses; many folks spent many years building large buildings they would never reside in.

Perhaps these people were forced labor, perhaps they had more foresight and thought, this building will stand forever and my children will use it, my grand children will use it, etc. You know, that whole “seven generations down the road” thinking.

If any of these shows of Georgio’s could stay on topic longer than 3 minutes, maybe they could be taken more serious, but they’re so off the wall and ADD, it’s a joke. Hanger 1 Files was yanked after two seasons and that was INTERESTING and cohesive. Why was it cancelled?

Ancient Aliens is on what, season 11? and junk, with spin off shows full of the same garbage. I just watched one where grey aliens are presented as human/ant hybrids I think? Couldn’t follow it - one second we’re hanging out with Mohammed, next minute we’re talking about Greek warriors, and some lady in 1970 hanging out with a praying mantis on a UFO. Then there’s pictures of ants, spiders, and maybe a Hopi flood legend?

Georgio has taken this absence of clear topic and transferred it to his own show. How he keeps getting them with his terrible speech impediment I don’t know. It’s...aliens! Or...whatever...

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Blog
    Picture

    Author

    I am an author and researcher focusing on pop culture, science, and history. Bylines: New Republic, Esquire, Slate, etc. There's more about me in the About Jason tab.

    Become a Patron!
    Tweets by JasonColavito
    Picture

    Newsletters

    Enter your email below to subscribe to my newsletter for updates on my latest projects, blog posts, and activities, and subscribe to Culture & Curiosities, my Substack newsletter.

    powered by TinyLetter

    Blog Roll

    Ancient Aliens Debunked
    Picture
    A Hot Cup of Joe
    ArchyFantasies
    Bad UFOs
    Mammoth Tales
    Matthew R. X. Dentith
    PaleoBabble
    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Alternative Archaeology
    Alternative Archaeology
    Alternative History
    Alternative History
    America Unearthed
    Ancient Aliens
    Ancient Astronauts
    Ancient History
    Ancient Texts
    Ancient Texts
    Archaeology
    Atlantis
    Conspiracies
    Giants
    Habsburgs
    Horror
    King Arthur
    Knights Templar
    Lovecraft
    Mythology
    Occult
    Popular Culture
    Popular Culture
    Projects
    Pyramids
    Racism
    Science
    Skepticism
    Ufos
    Weird Old Art
    Weird Things
    White Nationalism

    Terms & Conditions

    Please read all applicable terms and conditions before posting a comment on this blog. Posting a comment constitutes your agreement to abide by the terms and conditions linked herein.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010

    RSS Feed

Picture
Home  |  Blog  |  Books  | Contact  |  About Jason | Terms & Conditions
© 2010-2023 Jason Colavito. All rights reserved.

  • Home
  • Blog
  • Books
    • Legends of the Pyramids
    • The Mound Builder Myth
    • Jason and the Argonauts
    • Cult of Alien Gods >
      • Contents
      • Excerpt
      • Image Gallery
    • Foundations of Atlantis
    • Knowing Fear >
      • Contents
      • Excerpt
      • Image Gallery
    • Hideous Bit of Morbidity >
      • Contents
      • Excerpt
      • Image Gallery
    • Cthulhu in World Mythology >
      • Excerpt
      • Image Gallery
      • Necronomicon Fragments
      • Oral Histories
    • Fiction >
      • Short Stories
      • Free Fiction
    • JasonColavito.com Books >
      • Faking History
      • Unearthing the Truth
      • Critical Companion to Ancient Aliens
      • Studies in Ancient Astronautics (Series) >
        • Theosophy on Ancient Astronauts
        • Pyramidiots!
        • Edison's Conquest of Mars
      • Fiction Anthologies >
        • Unseen Horror >
          • Contents
          • Excerpt
        • Moon Men! >
          • Contents
      • The Orphic Argonautica >
        • Contents
        • Excerpt
      • The Faust Book >
        • Contents
        • Excerpt
      • Classic Reprints
      • eBook Minis
    • Free eBooks >
      • Origin of the Space Gods
      • Ancient Atom Bombs
      • Golden Fleeced
      • Ancient America
      • Horror & Science
  • Articles
    • Skeptical Xenoarchaeologist Newsletter >
      • Volumes 1-10 Archive >
        • Volume 1 Archive
        • Volume 2 Archive
        • Volume 3 Archive
        • Volume 4 Archive
        • Volume 5 Archive
        • Volume 6 Archive
        • Volume 7 Archive
        • Volume 8 Archive
        • Volume 9 Archive
        • Volume 10 Archive
      • Volumes 11-20 Archive >
        • Volume 11 Archive
        • Volume 12 Archive
        • Volume 13 Archive
        • Volume 14 Archive
        • Volume 15 Archive
        • Volume 16 Archive
        • Volume 17 Archive
        • Volume 18 Archive
        • Volume 19 Archive
        • Volume 20 Archive
      • Volumes 21-30 Archive >
        • Volume 21 Archive
        • Volume 22 Archive
    • Television Reviews >
      • Ancient Aliens Reviews
      • In Search of Aliens Reviews
      • America Unearthed
      • Pirate Treasure of the Knights Templar
      • Search for the Lost Giants
      • Forbidden History Reviews
      • Expedition Unknown Reviews
      • Legends of the Lost
      • Unexplained + Unexplored
      • Rob Riggle: Global Investigator
    • Book Reviews
    • Galleries >
      • Bad Archaeology
      • Ancient Civilizations >
        • Ancient Egypt
        • Ancient Greece
        • Ancient Near East
        • Ancient Americas
      • Supernatural History
      • Book Image Galleries
    • Videos
    • Collection: Ancient Alien Fraud >
      • Chariots of the Gods at 50
      • Secret History of Ancient Astronauts
      • Of Atlantis and Aliens
      • Aliens and Ancient Texts
      • Profiles in Ancient Astronautics >
        • Erich von Däniken
        • Robert Temple
        • Giorgio Tsoukalos
        • David Childress
      • Blunders in the Sky
      • The Case of the False Quotes
      • Alternative Authors' Quote Fraud
      • David Childress & the Aliens
      • Faking Ancient Art in Uzbekistan
      • Intimations of Persecution
      • Zecharia Sitchin's World
      • Jesus' Alien Ancestors?
      • Extraterrestrial Evolution?
    • Collection: Skeptic Magazine >
      • America Before Review
      • Native American Discovery of Europe
      • Interview: Scott Sigler
      • Golden Fleeced
      • Oh the Horror
      • Discovery of America
      • Supernatural Television
      • Review of Civilization One
      • Who Lost the Middle Ages
      • Charioteer of the Gods
    • Collection: Ancient History >
      • Prehistoric Nuclear War
      • The China Syndrome
      • Atlantis, Mu, and the Maya
      • Easter Island Exposed
      • Who Built the Sphinx?
      • Who Built the Great Pyramid?
      • Archaeological Cover Up?
    • Collection: The Lovecraft Legacy >
      • Pauwels, Bergier, and Lovecraft
      • Lovecraft in Bergier
      • Lovecraft and Scientology
    • Collection: UFOs >
      • Alien Abduction at the Outer Limits
      • Aliens and Anal Probes
      • Ultra-Terrestrials and UFOs
      • Rebels, Queers, and Aliens
    • Scholomance: The Devil's School
    • Prehistory of Chupacabra
    • The Templars, the Holy Grail, & Henry Sinclair
    • Magicians of the Gods Review
    • The Curse of the Pharaohs
    • The Antediluvian Pyramid Myth
    • Whitewashing American Prehistory
    • James Dean's Cursed Porsche
  • The Library
    • Ancient Mysteries >
      • Ancient Texts >
        • Mesopotamian Texts >
          • Atrahasis Epic
          • Epic of Gilgamesh
          • Kutha Creation Legend
          • Babylonian Creation Myth
          • Descent of Ishtar
          • Berossus
          • Comparison of Antediluvian Histories
        • Egyptian Texts >
          • The Shipwrecked Sailor
          • Dream Stela of Thutmose IV
          • The Papyrus of Ani
          • Classical Accounts of the Pyramids
          • Inventory Stela
          • Manetho
          • Eratosthenes' King List
          • The Story of Setna
          • Leon of Pella
          • Diodorus on Egyptian History
          • On Isis and Osiris
          • Famine Stela
          • Old Egyptian Chronicle
          • The Book of Sothis
          • Horapollo
          • Al-Maqrizi's King List
        • Teshub and the Dragon
        • Hermetica >
          • The Three Hermeses
          • Kore Kosmou
          • Corpus Hermeticum
          • The Asclepius
          • The Emerald Tablet
          • Hermetic Fragments
          • Prologue to the Kyranides
          • The Secret of Creation
          • Ancient Alphabets Explained
          • Prologue to Ibn Umayl's Silvery Water
          • Book of the 24 Philosophers
          • Aurora of the Philosophers
        • Hesiod's Theogony
        • Periplus of Hanno
        • Ctesias' Indica
        • Sanchuniathon
        • Sima Qian
        • Syncellus's Enoch Fragments
        • The Book of Enoch
        • Slavonic Enoch
        • Sepher Yetzirah
        • Tacitus' Germania
        • De Dea Syria
        • Aelian's Various Histories
        • Julius Africanus' Chronography
        • Eusebius' Chronicle
        • Chinese Accounts of Rome
        • Ancient Chinese Automaton
        • The Orphic Argonautica
        • Fragments of Panodorus
        • Annianus on the Watchers
        • The Watchers and Antediluvian Wisdom
      • Medieval Texts >
        • Medieval Legends of Ancient Egypt >
          • Medieval Pyramid Lore
          • John Malalas on Ancient Egypt
          • Fragments of Abenephius
          • Akhbar al-zaman
          • Ibrahim ibn Wasif Shah
          • Murtada ibn al-‘Afif
          • Al-Maqrizi on the Pyramids
          • Al-Suyuti on the Pyramids
        • The Hunt for Noah's Ark
        • Isidore of Seville
        • Book of Liang: Fusang
        • Agobard on Magonia
        • Book of Thousands
        • Voyage of Saint Brendan
        • Power of Art and of Nature
        • Travels of Sir John Mandeville
        • Yazidi Revelation and Black Book
        • Al-Biruni on the Great Flood
        • Voyage of the Zeno Brothers
        • The Kensington Runestone (Hoax)
        • Islamic Discovery of America
        • The Aztec Creation Myth
      • Lost Civilizations >
        • Atlantis >
          • Plato's Atlantis Dialogues >
            • Timaeus
            • Critias
          • Fragments on Atlantis
          • Panchaea: The Other Atlantis
          • Eumalos on Atlantis (Hoax)
          • Gómara on Atlantis
          • Sardinia and Atlantis
          • Santorini and Atlantis
          • The Mound Builders and Atlantis
          • Donnelly's Atlantis
          • Atlantis in Morocco
          • Atlantis and the Sea Peoples
          • W. Scott-Elliot >
            • The Story of Atlantis
            • The Lost Lemuria
          • The Lost Atlantis
          • Atlantis in Africa
          • How I Found Atlantis (Hoax)
          • Termier on Atlantis
          • The Critias and Minoan Crete
          • Rebuttal to Termier
          • Further Responses to Termier
          • Flinders Petrie on Atlantis
        • Lost Cities >
          • Miscellaneous Lost Cities
          • The Seven Cities
          • The Lost City of Paititi
          • Manuscript 512
          • The Idolatrous City of Iximaya (Hoax)
          • The 1885 Moberly Lost City Hoax
          • The Elephants of Paredon (Hoax)
        • OOPARTs
        • Oronteus Finaeus Antarctica Map
        • Caucasians in Panama
        • Jefferson's Excavation
        • Fictitious Discoveries in America
        • Against Diffusionism
        • Tunnels Under Peru
        • The Parahyba Inscription (Hoax)
        • Mound Builders
        • Gunung Padang
        • Tales of Enchanted Islands
        • The 1907 Ancient World Map Hoax
        • The 1909 Grand Canyon Hoax
        • The Interglacial Period
        • Solving Oak Island
      • Religious Conspiracies >
        • Pantera, Father of Jesus?
        • Toledot Yeshu
        • Peter of les Vaux-de-Cernay on Cathars
        • Testimony of Jean de Châlons
        • Rosslyn Chapel and the 'Prentice's Pillar
        • The Many Wives of Jesus
        • Templar Infiltration of Labor
        • Louis Martin & the Holy Bloodline
        • The Life of St. Issa (Hoax)
        • On the Person of Jesus Christ
      • Giants in the Earth >
        • Fossil Origins of Myths >
          • Fossil Teeth and Bones of Elephants
          • Fossil Elephants
          • Fossil Bones of Teutobochus
          • Fossil Mammoths and Giants
          • Giants' Bones Dug Out of the Earth
          • Fossils and the Supernatural
          • Fossils, Myth, and Pseudo-History
          • Man During the Stone Age
          • Fossil Bones and Giants
          • American Elephant Myths
          • The Mammoth and the Flood
          • Fossils and Myth
          • Fossil Origin of the Cyclops
          • Mastodon, Mammoth, and Man
        • Fragments on Giants
        • Manichaean Book of Giants
        • Geoffrey on British Giants
        • Alfonso X's Hermetic History of Giants
        • Boccaccio and the Fossil 'Giant'
        • Book of Howth
        • Purchas His Pilgrimage
        • Edmond Temple's 1827 Giant Investigation
        • The Giants of Sardinia
        • Giants and the Sons of God
        • The Magnetism of Evil
        • Tertiary Giants
        • Smithsonian Giant Reports
        • Early American Giants
        • The Giant of Coahuila
        • Jewish Encyclopedia on Giants
        • Index of Giants
        • Newspaper Accounts of Giants
        • Lanier's A Book of Giants
      • Science and History >
        • Halley on Noah's Comet
        • The Newport Tower
        • Iron: The Stone from Heaven
        • Ararat and the Ark
        • Pyramid Facts and Fancies
        • Argonauts before Homer
        • The Deluge
        • Crown Prince Rudolf on the Pyramids
        • Old Mythology in New Apparel
        • Blavatsky on Dinosaurs
        • Teddy Roosevelt on Bigfoot
        • Devil Worship in France
        • Maspero's Review of Akhbar al-zaman
        • The Holy Grail as Lucifer's Crown Jewel
        • The Mutinous Sea
        • The Rock Wall of Rockwall
        • Fabulous Zoology
        • The Origins of Talos
        • Mexican Mythology
        • Chinese Pyramids
        • Maqrizi's Names of the Pharaohs
      • Extreme History >
        • Roman Empire Hoax
        • American Antiquities
        • American Cataclysms
        • England, the Remnant of Judah
        • Historical Chronology of the Mexicans
        • Maspero on the Predynastic Sphinx
        • Vestiges of the Mayas
        • Ragnarok: The Age of Fire and Gravel
        • Origins of the Egyptian People
        • The Secret Doctrine >
          • Volume 1: Cosmogenesis
          • Volume 2: Anthropogenesis
        • Phoenicians in America
        • The Electric Ark
        • Traces of European Influence
        • Prince Henry Sinclair
        • Pyramid Prophecies
        • Templars of Ancient Mexico
        • Chronology and the "Riddle of the Sphinx"
        • The Faith of Ancient Egypt
        • Spirit of the Hour in Archaeology
        • Book of the Damned
        • Great Pyramid As Noah's Ark
        • Richard Shaver's Proofs
    • Alien Encounters >
      • US Government Ancient Astronaut Files >
        • Fortean Society and Columbus
        • Inquiry into Shaver and Palmer
        • The Skyfort Document
        • Whirling Wheels
        • Denver Ancient Astronaut Lecture
        • Soviet Search for Lemuria
        • Visitors from Outer Space
        • Unidentified Flying Objects (Abstract)
        • "Flying Saucers"? They're a Myth
        • UFO Hypothesis Survival Questions
        • Air Force Academy UFO Textbook
        • The Condon Report on Ancient Astronauts
        • Atlantis Discovery Telegrams
        • Ancient Astronaut Society Telegram
        • Noah's Ark Cables
        • The Von Daniken Letter
        • CIA Psychic Probe of Ancient Mars
        • Scott Wolter Lawsuit
        • UFOs in Ancient China
        • CIA Report on Noah's Ark
        • CIA Noah's Ark Memos
        • Congressional Ancient Aliens Testimony
        • Ancient Astronaut and Nibiru Email
        • Congressional Ancient Mars Hearing
        • House UFO Hearing
      • Ancient Extraterrestrials >
        • Premodern UFO Sightings
        • The Moon Hoax
        • Inhabitants of Other Planets
        • Blavatsky on Ancient Astronauts
        • The Stanzas of Dzyan (Hoax)
        • Aerolites and Religion
        • What Is Theosophy?
        • Plane of Ether
        • The Adepts from Venus
      • A Message from Mars
      • Saucer Mystery Solved?
      • Orville Wright on UFOs
      • Interdimensional Flying Saucers
      • Flying Saucers Are Real
      • Report on UFOs
    • The Supernatural >
      • The Devils of Loudun
      • Sublime and Beautiful
      • Voltaire on Vampires
      • Demonology and Witchcraft
      • Thaumaturgia
      • Bulgarian Vampires
      • Religion and Evolution
      • Transylvanian Superstitions
      • Defining a Zombie
      • Dread of the Supernatural
      • Vampires
      • Werewolves and Vampires and Ghouls
      • Science and Fairy Stories
      • The Cursed Car
    • Classic Fiction >
      • Lucian's True History
      • Some Words with a Mummy
      • The Coming Race
      • King Solomon's Mines
      • An Inhabitant of Carcosa
      • The Xipéhuz
      • Lot No. 249
      • The Novel of the Black Seal
      • The Island of Doctor Moreau
      • Pharaoh's Curse
      • Edison's Conquest of Mars
      • The Lost Continent
      • Count Magnus
      • The Mysterious Stranger
      • The Wendigo
      • Sredni Vashtar
      • The Lost World
      • The Red One
      • H. P. Lovecraft >
        • Dagon
        • The Call of Cthulhu
        • History of the Necronomicon
        • At the Mountains of Madness
        • Lovecraft's Library in 1932
      • The Skeptical Poltergeist
      • The Corpse on the Grating
      • The Second Satellite
      • Queen of the Black Coast
      • A Martian Odyssey
    • Classic Genre Movies
    • Miscellaneous Documents >
      • The Balloon-Hoax
      • A Problem in Greek Ethics
      • The Migration of Symbols
      • The Gospel of Intensity
      • De Profundis
      • The Life and Death of Crown Prince Rudolf
      • The Bathtub Hoax
      • Crown Prince Rudolf's Letters
      • Position of Viking Women
      • Employment of Homosexuals
      • James Dean's Scrapbook
      • James Dean's Love Letters
      • The Amazing James Dean Hoax!
    • Free Classic Pseudohistory eBooks
  • About Jason
    • Biography
    • Jason in the Media
    • Contact Jason
    • About JasonColavito.com
    • Terms and Conditions
  • Search