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Review of Rob Riggle: Global Investigator S01E01/E03 "Pirate Booty"

4/2/2020

21 Comments

 
Picture
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Rob Riggle: Global Investigator failed hard in its first two outings in a plum Sunday night timeslot on the Discovery Channel, attracting only around 650,000 viewers, half the audience of its lead-in. The half-baked comedy fringe history pseudodocumentary series was a bust with viewers, so Discovery pulled it from the schedule for a month. The network attempted to relaunch the show, at least to burn off the remaining episodes. Sadly, COVID-19 may have thrown this disappointing failure an undeserved lifeline as homebound viewers turn to cable for entertainment options. Ratings are up across the board, but it remains to be seen if Riggle’s misbegotten effort yields results.
This episode was originally intended to be the show’s pilot but is airing out of order because Discovery had hoped that the planned season finale, the Atlantis episode, would have served as a stronger introduction to the series and draw in viewers. Well, that got shot all to hell when viewers tuned out. I am labeling this S01E03 here because the network has renumbered the episodes to follow broadcast order.
 
As regular readers know, I am not very interested in pirate treasure. So this episode is a rather dull slog for me because Riggle went in search of the alleged booty of Black Caesar, a fictitious and supposedly gigantic African chieftain who became first a slave, and then a pirate captain, and then a member of Blackbeard’s crew. (While no records support his existence, the Encyclopedia Britannica repeated his story uncritically.) According to Florida legend, Black Caesar buried his pirate treasure on Elliot Key, and he is alleged to have kept a prison colony of captured sailors and a massive harem of a hundred kidnapped women on Captiva Island. Legend says he was executed in Virginia in 1718 after being captured following Blackbeard’s death. The story has no historical grounding or records to support it, and Black Caesar in all likelihood never existed. Nevertheless, he supposedly originated the phrase “dead men tell no tales.”
 
The Black Caesar name also applied to a probably also fictitious and also supposedly gigantic Haitian slave named Henri Caesar who took up the cause of piracy a century later and was also associated with Elliot Key. He, too, supposedly buried treasure on Elliot Key and had a harem on Capitva Island. The treasure has been estimated to be worth $6 million or $18 million depending on which fantasist you read. This one supposedly drank himself into blundering errors, falling captive to the Spanish, and dying in their custody in 1829, burned to death, according to some tales. Or, if you believe another variant, he simply disappeared. Or, maybe the U.S. Navy killed him. All these versions can be found in various accounts. Sometimes, to differentiate, this second Caesar is called “Caesar Le Grande.”
 
It’s not terribly hard to see the two Caesars’ stories as folkloric variants of one another. There were more. A man named Boe Pent claimed just before his 1915 death to have seen Black Caesar, sometime in the 1820s or 1830s, but this Black Caesar was the African warlord, not the Haitian slave, and was apparently as strong as an ox and both greedy and stupid. It’s pretty clear he was just repeating a hodgepodge of local lore, in a somewhat confused way. And on it goes, one story after another, none with a shred of evidence to support their reality.
 
There is at least a little bit of truth to the stories, however, if not real Black Caesars. There really were black pirates, for example, and they scandalized the colonial world because pirate society gave them equal rights to white pirates, including an equal share of the booty. Apparently, “Black Caesar” served as a nickname racist white folk applied to any black dude who had a position of authority among pirates, and the stories related above coalesced around the name. A British map of 1774 lists a “Black Caesar’s Creek” in the Florida Keys (it is today’s Caesars Creek), so the story must be at least that old. The legends, however, are full of anachronisms and fanciful details and are quite obviously of later vintage.
 
Anyway, I have about zero interest in fictitious eighteenth-century pirate treasure and this hour was particularly light on content, so you will forgive me if I summarize the show rather briefly.
Segment 1
Riggle begins by deciding to follow the myth of the second Black Caesar vanishing without a trace, along with the $6 million estimate for the second Caesar’s treasure. Why? He’s clearly not the original Black Caesar, given the 1774 map. (The first Caesar arrives in Segment 3.) Anyway, Riggle simply asserts that Henri Caesar was a real person though the only evidence given is a published version of his fictitious legend. David Sloan, a ghost tour operator, gives Riggle the Wikipedia version of Caesar’s life, but Riggle admits that his team simply used Google to research the story. Riggle meets up with some “professional treasure hunters” in the hope of locating Henri Caesar’s fictitious treasure. This involves diving off the Florida Keys to look for it, though the legend says nothing about the money being underwater—certainly an odd place to bury treasure. Riggle becomes very excited when he finds a coin (actually, a shell) and then freaks out when a shark swims by.
 
Segment 2
The second segment picks up with more footage of sharks, and Riggle picks up a corroded length of metal that one of the treasure hunters says is a sheath for a sword. Weapons expert Ashley Hlebinsky of the Buffalo Bill Center of the West shows Riggle a lot of weapons, though this is irrelevant to the treasure hunt, while on board a recreation of a sixteenth century Spanish galleon, which is also irrelevant to a supposedly nineteenth century treasure.
Segment 3
After the bottom of the hour reset and recap, Hlebinsky tells Riggle the scabbard is from U.S. Navy issue from the 1860s. Next up, Riggle meets Brad Bertelli, a local journalist and tour guide. I was relieved to see that Bertelli set Riggle straight on the existence of a first Black Caesar and the 1774 map bearing Caesar’s name, which prompts some poor attempts at comedy as Riggle pretends not to know about this while everyone else does. Riggle then decides to go to Elliot Key to hunt the first Black Caesar’s treasure. However, Riggle promptly misunderstands even this very simple story and wrongly asserts that the second Black Caesar went to Elliot Key to bury his treasure where the first Black Caesar happened to live. It doesn’t make much sense, but Riggle is really wedded to the Henri Caesar story for some reason.
Segment 4
Operating under the assumption that Elliot Key’s treasure belongs to the second Black Caesar, Riggle meets with another treasure hunter to probe the waters around Caesar’s Rock and Caesars Creek. Elements of the two Black Caesars’ stories blend together as they fruitlessly search for “treasure” with metal detectors. It’s irresponsible of Discovery to promote what is basically looting of archaeological sites by glamorizing digging random holes in search of gold and historical loot. While they may not have broken any laws (they are only seen collecting from the exposed surface and the ocean floor, though they spoke of digging holes), many viewers will not likely ride the line so closely, and the emphasis on treasure over archaeological context serves, of course, to encourage destructive action.
Segment 5
A brief interstitial chronicled the removal of a Burmese python from the site Riggle was scanning for treasure. The final segment found our hero uncovering a spike “100 years old,” which for some bizarre reason he declares “pretty close” to Henri Caesar’s 200-year-old equipment. Another bit of bad scripted comedy finds one of the treasure hunters from earlier reminding Riggle that there are two Black Caesars. It isn’t funny, and it isn’t well staged. At the end, Riggle found three chunks of metal identified as Spanish coins from the eighteenth century. There is no way to link them to any specific person, so the results are … pointless, once again.
 
The comedy, it goes without saying, was forced, lazy, obvious, and unfunny.
21 Comments
Rock Knocker
4/2/2020 11:33:19 pm

A decade or more ago I watched the “History” channel for historical information and context. Recently I have watched it for comedy relief, and for background material to demonstrate bad science to my students. Now I watch the Smithsonian Channel for science, but I fear that even that venue will succumb to the draw of the money/pseudoscience succubus. More’s the pity.....

Reply
Ken
4/3/2020 12:28:28 am

How long do you suspect it will be before Marty and Rick Lagina are excavating Eliot key?

Reply
An Anonymous Nerd
4/3/2020 07:52:07 am

How long before Rick and Morty are on the History Channel? They are about as real as anything Marty and Rick Lagina, or anyone from Ancient Aliens, go after.

-An Anonymous Nerd

Reply
Doc Rock
4/3/2020 07:12:53 am

You have to be able to pay operating expenses (food, rum, powder and ammo, guns, etc.) for extended periods of time and then divvy up the treasure among a hundred or so guys. Maybe I watched too many Errol Flynn movies but I think that crew who lost limbs or an eye in battle got the equivalent of a substantial pirate insurance payout. Would seem to me that there wouldn't be enough left over too bury as treasure. I don't think that a hundred guys who are ready to hit the nearest port and party are that interested in hearing, "hey guys let's bury this 10 million bucks and come back and get it in another couple years."

Reply
Nick Danger
4/3/2020 09:41:03 am

IIRC, Captain Kidd was the only pirate documented to have buried treasure. He was going to turn himself in (as I recall), and use the treasure as a bargaining chip, so he hid the treasure.

I've heard of no other cases of buried treasure.

Reply
An Anonymous Nerd
4/3/2020 10:59:02 am

According to some books and documentaries (there were others, but the only books I remember specifically were one called "Under the Black Flag" and another that was specifically about the Barbary Corsairs but touched on piracy generally as well), you're essentially correct.

Well not about the whole "take care of the injured thing," as I recall. But definitely about the dudes Hell-bent on partying not being interested in burying anything. They spent it as fast as, or faster than, it came in.

-An Anonymous Nerd

Reply
Machala
4/3/2020 03:25:43 pm

Unlike modern workers comp programs, the pirates’ compensation was more about maintaining motivation in the face of danger rather than a social safety-net after the fact. Pirates who were injured during their duty were often rewarded for their sacrifice. The loss of a limb or an eye carried a very specific reward in gold. More than that, the amounts were based on the relative weight of the sacrifice. For example, losing your right arm was worth more than your left, and in the case of losing both, a pirate was often rewarded more than the combined price of the two.

http://www.businessinsurance.org/the-rich-history-of-workers-compensation/

An Anonymous Nerd
4/3/2020 05:37:59 pm

[Unlike modern workers comp programs, the pirates’ compensation was more about maintaining motivation in the face of danger rather than a social safety-net after the fact.]

Cool. New information. Thank you.

As it turns out I've read a fair amount about the history of Workers' Compensation and this never came up before. Wonder why.

Oh well. Thank you, either way! I've bookmarked that for later.

-An Anonymous Nerd

Jim
4/3/2020 09:24:10 am

"In reality, pirates burying treasure was rare. The only pirate known to have actually buried treasure was William Kidd,"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buried_treasure

Reply
E.P. Grondine
4/3/2020 12:24:06 pm

Hi Jason -

I think that you do not understand.

They can turn out more shit than you have time for your life.

What if you worked on a nice translation of Al Idrisi instead of ephemeral reviews?

Or your pyramid myths book?

We all have our obsessions of thought. but mine has been impact events. Despite the well organized and funded "scepticism" of them, I learned a while back that I am usually a couple decades ahead of many people, if not 40 years ahead of them. Yes, your future will be interesting.

I have also begun to realize that sometimes you just sit back and let others catch up. I really do not have time to rub it in their faces, but simply move on.

Your reviews are entertaining. but...

Reply
An Anonymous Nerd
4/3/2020 12:37:36 pm

Mr. Colavito's reviews, I would argue, are important and necessary. They draw attention to his work and they serve as an important resource for debunking this kind of stuff. Discouraging it is counter-productive.

-An Anonymous Nerd

Reply
E.P. Grondine
4/4/2020 10:51:59 am

AN -

Theosophist themes have been used for entertainment for a long time now. Jason obsesses about Lovecraft, but he is peripheral. Take a look at the Indiana Jones movies, or Aquaman.

An Anonymous Nerd
4/6/2020 09:10:45 am

[AN -

Theosophist themes have been used for entertainment for a long time now. Jason obsesses about Lovecraft, but he is peripheral. Take a look at the Indiana Jones movies, or Aquaman.]

Ok, a couple of things here.

One, Mr. Colavito mostly deals with Lovecraft partly (I would assume) out of personal preference, and mostly (from what I can tell) because Lovecraft is foundational for this sort of stuff. Lovecraft's stuff is a lot older than Indiana Jones or Aquaman. And was heavily influential long before either of those fictions.

Two, more importantly, one would not watch Indiana Jones or Aquaman, or read Aquaman or Lovecraft for that matter, and expect accuracy. (Not reasonably, anyway.....) However, the History Channel, Discovery Channel, etc., are places where one reasonably could expect to find accuracy.

Except you don't.

But because of the brand name, good odds too many will believe it.

Hence, the need for articulate debunking. Hence, Mr. Colavito.

-An Anonymous Nerd

E.P. Grondne
4/6/2020 12:25:56 pm

AN -

Jason's introduction to these themes was through Lovecraft.
Minie was nor.

I do not expect to find much of value anywhere on broadcast television. I usually go to Youtube for university archaeology lectures and BBC shows.

Large ancient stone structures fascinate viewers. In the case of Mr. Childress, I find his current explanations of thme as being the result of alien contact far less objectionable than his earlier explanations of them through Le Plongen's theosophy. As W. K.C. Guthrie pointed out long ago, belief in reincarnation is dangerous for a society.

As far as Native American history goes, long ago I gave up any hope in finding much accuracy anywhere in popular culture or much of academia, for that matter.

Kent
4/3/2020 04:18:25 pm

"impact events. Despite the well organized and funded "scepticism" of them"

This is reminiscent of Wolter's delusions of Nazi Jesuits from the Smithsonian. Last time the subject said he was fifteen years ahead, now it's forty years.

Reply
E.P. Grondine
4/4/2020 01:46:08 pm

I saw an article on the hooked cross over at Coshocton years ago. I suppose I could over to the Denison Library and find it again, but the important thing is that it preceded Mr. Wolters work by years, and he has never acknowledged it

I am pretty certain tht you do not understand how the fringe industry works.

Organized funding for impact studies stopped following Gene Shoemaker's death. A lot of the scepticim over recent impact research has come from the reaction to Velikovsky's delusional work

Joe Scales
4/4/2020 09:57:21 am

"The comedy, it goes without saying, was forced, lazy, obvious, and unfunny."

And unfortunately, par for the course for the comments section...

Reply
E.P. Grondine
4/4/2020 10:59:30 am

Hi Joe -

I find the stories of black pirates intriguing, so given the poor quality of this show, other better made shows are likely to follow. Ever heard of Estevan?

Reply
E.P. Grondine
4/4/2020 02:04:06 pm

Hi Jason -

I placed my order for your book today, and Amazon provided me with a quick look at the first chapter. A few notes -

Jefferson's Indian materials were lost in their entirety during his move back to Monticello following his Presidency.. A tremendous loss.

The earlier remains at Ischia were from the Dallas Culture, and most likely those people were destroyed by the Bald Mountain Impact ca. 952 CE. Lamar is Mushkogean, and dates from their migration east.

There was a nice set of Shawnee remains at Redstone Pennsylvania, and as they were on the route to Pittsburgh, they were seen quite early and were very well known before the Shawnee remains in Ohio were known.

There was a certain selectivity in relaying Native reports on the earthworks in colonial times. And this continues to this day.

You left the Five Nations driving the Shawnee out of their lands ca 1680 CE, which is how the entire generation of this bit of nonsense started. I addition to trying to fit Natve Americans into the Bible and Plato's tale of Atlantis there was also the motive of stealing their lands.



Reply
Kurt Stallings
4/4/2020 02:41:50 pm

Jason, I hate any depiction suggesting suffering of animals, so I'm basically with you. But in a way isn't starting with the dead carcass of a non-sentient herd animal an extraordinarily precise way to depict the "History" Channel's yawning retread of 90s-era retreads of 70s-era retreads of 19th century confabulations?

Reply
Lyn McConchie
4/5/2020 03:41:40 pm

We have covid19 in New Zealand. The power that be have apparently dcided the affliction isn't sufficient. We also now have The Curse of Oak Island running on free-to-air. AHHHHHHHH. I can only assume that whoever signed this up never watched any of it, and knows nothing about it. Or they perhaps assumed that misery loves company. Oh well, I can amuse myself by not watching it.

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