Before I begin today, I have an announcement: This past week, I welcomed into the world my son, and it has been an exciting and hectic time for everyone! He is a healthy and active newborn, and he weighed in at almost 10 pounds, which was quite a surprise, and as you can imagine, it has been a bit of a transition. As a result of my new arrival, I will no longer be able to review Ancient Aliens episodes in real time as they air. Depending on the baby’s schedule, I will try to fit it in sometime over the weekend, but I can’t guarantee it. Over the next few weeks, you will see the number of blog posts decrease while I take some much-deserved paternity leave, and also because I don’t think I can write on zero sleep. Now, on to today’s discussion of the American Heroes Channel’s efforts to compete with Ancient Aliens. Wow… That was…. Derivative. Last night I watched an episode of UFOs: The Lost Evidence from the AHC channel, a Discovery network on which I have previously appeared. The episode, entitled “Ancient UFO Earth Landings,” covered the ancient astronaut theory. Whereas I was on to debunk the claim, this new series was designed to promote ancient aliens. It was a total rip-off of Ancient Aliens, and I’ve never seen such a close copy of Ancient Aliens, right down to hiring the same people who appear on the History channel show, including Richard Dolan, Mike Bara, and Nick Pope, all of whom are repeating the same claims that they made on Ancient Aliens. John Greenewald of Unsealed: Alien Files, an earlier bush-league Ancient Aliens rip-off, also appears. The show’s narrator even includes a refrain, “UFO researchers say…” that is a clear copy of Ancient Aliens’ “ancient astronaut theorists say…”
Otherwise, the show covered many of the same claims about the Maya we’ve heard many times before, particularly Pakal’s coffin lid as a so-called “rocket ship,” a claim going back to Chariots of the Gods. To this, they added a bunch of claims about various pieces of world art that look like 1960s space suits or midcentury aliens and robots, mostly taken from Chariots and its imitators.
More humorously, the show’s budget copy-and-paste research fails them when they misidentify the Columbian gold bees—the “airplane” that Giorgio Tsoukalos wears on his label as an “Olmec bird monster.” So when Pope claims that the “bird monster” is an “exact” duplicate of a modern delta-wing fighter jet, is he just agreeing with the producers sight-unseen, or does he not understand the material he claims to be an expert on? Pope claims that “some” people identify dragons and Quetzalcoatl as spaceships with exhaust flames. Yes. That’s Ancient Aliens, where the claim dribbled out of Tsoukalos’s lips several times. Another segment gives Zecharia Sitchin’s views of Sumerian and Babylonian culture, without crediting him, and Pope tells us that ziggurats were used as UFO landing pads, as though mud brick could withstand having a giant space ship plunk down atop their fragile towers. Dolan claims that pyramids and ziggurats all could be connected “more than we have realized” because he doesn’t understand that tapered buildings are the most stable when building high in the absence of steel frames. The narrator adds that people around the world couldn’t have developed the same intellectual level and interests without UFO guidance. What knowledge was this? Piling rocks atop one another, except when it was dirt or mud bricks. The show also cites Sitchin’s “translations” of Mesopotamian texts to “prove” that aliens called Annunaki created human beings. But here the show is extremely deceptive. It alleges that no one understood Mesopotamian texts until Zecharia Sitchin became part of a “new generation” who translated tablets that had been “forgotten” for a century, as though all of the scholarly work between their discovery in the 1800s and Sitchin in 1976 never happened. Never mind that Sitchin’s translations are wrong, conflating different languages and mixing and matching elements of language and grammar at will. According to the show, handbags held by various world gods prove that aliens spread knowledge of fashionable accessorizing around the world because otherwise who would ever think to put a handle on a pouch in order to carry things? Overall, the program was a rather straightforward plagiarism of Ancient Aliens, right down to its choice of talking heads. The only thing that was truly interesting is the discovery that even on the Discovery family of networks a bizarre double-standard occurs: Any show that looks at ancient astronaut theories skeptically must include ancient astronaut theorists for “balance,” but any show that advocates ancient astronaut theories uncritically can have on only ancient astronaut theorists with no opposing view.
41 Comments
Mary Baker
6/9/2017 10:15:34 am
Congratulations on the baby. Your line between personal and professional is fine, but well-maintained.
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Shane Sullivan
6/9/2017 11:09:24 am
Congratulation!
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Tom Mellett
6/9/2017 11:24:12 am
Congratulations on the birth of your son, Jason! I just welcomed a new grandson on June 1.
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Gunn (for old times' sakes)
6/9/2017 11:42:49 am
Congratulations!
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Clete
6/9/2017 11:53:29 am
I, too, wish to offer both you and your wife congratulations on the birth of your son. I would not be too concerned with addition blogs about ancient aliens. The stable of talking heads who drone on about ancient aliens are repeating the same tired arguments and conclusions they have used now for something like ten, fifteen years. Their message will never change. I suspect twenty years from now they will be singing the same tired song.
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BigNick
6/9/2017 11:55:36 am
Congratulations!
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TONY S.
6/9/2017 12:32:31 pm
Congratulations, Jason!! Becoming a father is a wonderful thing! My son was born 13 years ago, and every day is still an adventure. All the best to you and your family!
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Crash55
6/9/2017 12:32:35 pm
Congratulations
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peter kirchmeir
6/9/2017 12:35:27 pm
Congratulations at a healthy arrival. We hope the mother is also healthy.
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Day Late and Dollar Short
6/9/2017 01:19:38 pm
Congratulations to all involved!
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Bob Jase
6/9/2017 01:35:37 pm
Congratulations on the kid! Just DVR the shows and watch them while you're walking around in the middle of the night trying to settle the little guy down - and yes, it is worth it!
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David Bradbury
6/9/2017 02:33:14 pm
I'm not sure it's a good idea to subject an impressionable young person to a regular diet of pseudo-facts. Imagine if his first word was "Zecharia"!
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Jim
6/9/2017 02:41:13 pm
Congratulations,,,,, now the poop gets real !!!,, lol
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An Over-Educated Grunt
6/9/2017 03:09:34 pm
As a father of four, you have my deepest sympathies... condolences... congratulations. One of those is accurate here, but which depends on the day.
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An Over-Educated Grunt
6/9/2017 03:34:55 pm
Well at least now we know how your keyboard got all sweaty, know what I mean, know what I mean, eh, nudge nudge wink wink.
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Kathleen
6/10/2017 07:26:08 am
But does that explain the crumbs?
An Over-Educated Grunt
6/11/2017 02:06:54 pm
If having children can't explain crumbs somewhere, nothing can.
Murgatroyd
6/9/2017 03:12:09 pm
Many congratulations, Jason!
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Scott Hamilton
6/9/2017 04:45:17 pm
Congratulations!
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Only Me
6/9/2017 05:00:45 pm
Congratulations and best wishes to you and yours, Jason.
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Chris Lovegrove
6/9/2017 06:54:54 pm
Congratulations, Jason. What fantastic news!
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Giorgio Tsoukalous
6/9/2017 08:17:06 pm
I am right you are wrong Jason. I will debate you ant place anytime live on my great show.
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TONY S.
6/10/2017 12:18:16 am
Where is "ant place" ? I'd like to be there to see it.
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Clete
6/10/2017 08:33:15 am
Most ant colonies have a queen. Is that you, Giorgio?
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Frank
6/11/2017 11:40:05 am
Is this really you? Are you the one and only real, Giorgio Tsoukalous? Not that I really believe it, but anything is possible. Therefore, in the case that you may be he, I have been meaning to ask you, or any other Ancient Aliens proponent these two questions. If the aliens are our gods and/or creators, who then created the aliens? the second question is this. If these aliens had such advanced technology that allowed them to travel from the distant stars of their origin to our earth, then why do we have all these native and ancient descriptions of "flames" and "smoke" trailing many of the aliens' space crafts? Fossil/chemical fuel used for interstellar travel?
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Kathleen
6/11/2017 11:46:16 am
If you smell hair spray, it's probably him.
Ken
6/9/2017 11:20:30 pm
Congrats Jason!!.
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Kathleen
6/10/2017 12:52:29 am
Congratulations! Every day will be filled with joy! Babies are the best, and habit-forming.
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BigNick
6/10/2017 09:37:08 am
Not trying to be a jerk or start an argument, but babies are not the best. Toddlers are far superior to babies in every way.
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Kathleen
6/10/2017 08:58:34 pm
No argument here! My two year old granddaughter is the cat's pajamas!
Clint Knapp
6/10/2017 04:26:55 am
A bit late, but congratulations on fatherhood, Jason. I'm sure it'll be quite the adjustment, but you'll do fine. I hope the baby's healthy and you and yours are happy for many years to come.
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Alaric
6/10/2017 09:29:05 am
Congratulations!!!
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Jean Stone
6/10/2017 12:21:22 pm
Congratulations, Jason!
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Jonathan
6/10/2017 01:59:39 pm
Congratulations, Jason!
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6/11/2017 08:12:01 am
Congrats Jason! We will all try to cope with your reduced output as best we can. Seriously, we want you enjoy this time!
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Liam
6/11/2017 12:38:25 pm
Congratulations Jason, Couldn't be happier for you!!!
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Pacal
6/11/2017 02:36:12 pm
First Jason. congratulations on fatherhood and I hope mother and child are doing well and will continue to do well.
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Durham
6/11/2017 09:38:16 pm
Congratulations, Jason!
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Sticker
6/14/2017 01:40:36 pm
Oh, I am so happy for you and your family! Congratulations! And yeah, you might not be able to get much done for a while, but we'll survive. Enjoy him while he's little --- it goes so, so fast.
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RiverM
6/16/2017 07:48:41 pm
Congratulations on your baby boy!
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AuthorI am an author and researcher focusing on pop culture, science, and history. Bylines: New Republic, Esquire, Slate, etc. There's more about me in the About Jason tab. Newsletters
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