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UFO Conference Really Wants Aliens to Be Bible-Based

4/16/2014

27 Comments

 
I did it! I didn’t think I’d be able to squeeze my entire anthology of ancient texts used by fringe historians into the publisher’s limit of 125,000 words, but after completing the first draft of the full text, I clocked in at 124,800 words, which includes the texts, commentaries, book overview, and the chapter introductions. I’ll probably do some trimming here and there, but I thrilled that I managed to get everything in without having to sacrifice any texts.
Along the way (i.e., yesterday), I also solved an interesting minor puzzle that I’m sure you aren’t interested in but I’ll tell you about anyway. When Buenaventura Bonnet tried in 1944 to explain how Don Manuel Osuna Saviñón had fabricated a medieval text documenting a medieval Arab voyage to the Canary Islands and/or America in 999 CE (which I discussed here), he didn’t know how the author came up with the name Abdelmehc, whom he had identified as the reigning monarch of the Caliphate of Cordoba when the voyage took place. Buenaventura Bonnet correctly noted that there was no caliph of Cordoba by that name, for Hisham II was the monarch in that year, but he could go no further than that. When I realized that the typesetter had mistaken “li” for an “h” the puzzle pieces started to fall into place. “Abdelmelic” was an early Romanization of Abd al-Malik, the hajib of Cordoba under Hisham II from 1002 to 1008 CE. He was the de facto governor of Spain because Hisham was a non-entity. The discrepancy in dates is probably because early nineteenth century histories of Spain claimed that Abd al-Malik had been made “emir of Almagreb” after winning a battle in 987. At that time, emir meant “general” rather than prince or sovereign, and our author has mistaken the military title for a royal one.

However, I had been concerned that I devoted too much space in the book to the myth of the Watchers and the Nephilim. I shouldn’t have worried. Yesterday, Buzzfeed’s Katie Heaney reported on her trip last week to the 55th UFO/ET Paranormal and Metaphysical Congress at the New Jersey Paranormal and Consciousness Conference. There she heard 57 conspiracy theories about aliens, of which a surprising number were devoted to religious mysteries, particularly those of the Book of Enoch and Genesis 6. Heaney didn’t quite understand all the subtleties since she hasn’t become an expert in Biblical ufology like all of us who put up with so much ancient astronaut ridiculousness, but I was shocked at just how thoroughly ufology and ancient astronautics have become synonymous, and both with New Age religion.

Let’s take a look at some of the conspiracies Heaney heard:
49. English occultist Aleister Crowley let the demon Lam into our world through an inter-dimensional portal, via Satanic ritual.

48. Later, Crowley’s portal, located at Area 51, was enlarged by rocket scientist Jack Parsons and L. Ron Hubbard. This began the modern UFO era.

47. This is not the same inter-dimensional portal that was located on the top of The Tower of Babel. But they’re related.
Star gates! An inter-dimensional portal atop the Tower of Babel is a new one on me, but in researching the issue I found that it is a popular theme among Nephilim researchers. According to one conspiracy theory, because the building of the Tower meant that “nothing would be restrained from” humankind (Genesis 11:6), this can be nothing less than knowledge of how to manipulate the space-time continuum—because what else could it possibly be? A more detailed version, compiled from the random selection of various texts to support the idea that the Tower transported Nephilim to and from Mars, can be found here.
44. One-third of heavenly angels “fell” with Lucifer, and became demons. These demons are getting onto Earth via the inter-dimensional portals.

43. Demons dress up in “bio-suits” that look like what we think of as grey, black-eyed aliens.
This is a standard Watchers conspiracy theory, but one with the added bonus of making the Watchers into the Greys and tying it to a vaguely technological star gate. Apparently, even Nephilim researchers have trouble imagining magic nowadays and need their angels to have super-iPads.
42. Fallen angels mated with humans once, but NOT twice. This information is presented on a PowerPoint slide titled “5 Reasons Why I Do Not Believe There Was A Second Incursion of Fallen Angels.” I’d badge this BuzzFeed list “SMH” and “TRASHY.”

41. Zeus was not an angel. Zeus was a Hero of Old. (?)

40. Goliath was a descendant of Zeus.

39. The Garden of Eden was located in what is now Göbekli Tepe, in Turkey.
Heaney, not being fluent in Biblical allusions, didn’t understand that the conspiracy theorist wanted to make Zeus into one of the sons of the Watchers, the heroes of old from Genesis 6:4. This is a standard rationalization of pagan deities going back to the early Church. Typically they were identified with demons outright (Augustine, City of God 7.33, e.g.), but as Cyprian writes in On the Vanity of Idols (6.1), Christians also adopted the euhemeristic idea that the gods of old were antediluvian kings: “That those are no gods whom the common people worship, is known from this: they were formerly kings, who on account of their royal memory subsequently began to be adored by their people even in death” (trans. Robert Ernst Wallace). Modern conspiracy theorists simply apply the euhemerist reading to their belief that the mighty men of old were Nephilim-giants.

Making Göbekli Tepe the Garden of Eden is a new one on me, though. As you can see here, David Rohl and Andrew Collins are promoting the idea based on—wait for it—the Watchers from the Book of Enoch! Again!
37. Mount Hermon is tied to alien-demons, which we know because its topography, symbolic of Satan, is in the shape of a goat. I can definitely see it, once the guy who tells us this draws the outline of a goat over the map.
Mount Hermon, originally a pagan site sacred to the Canaanite gods, and later identified as the home of the Anunnaki in the Old Babylonian Gilgamesh texts, was of course demonized because of—you guessed it—the Book of Enoch, which makes the Watchers descend from heaven at that spot, obviously because of its earlier pagan heritage. The Phoenician writer Sanchuniathon associated the entire Anti-Lebanon mountain range with the civilizing giants of old (Eusebius, Praeparatio Evangelica 1.10).

To this end, take a look at this photo Heaney captured of a presentation by Rob Skiba, a Nephilim conspiracy theorist who believes that America is the fulfillment of world history and the catalyst for the rise of the Antichrist, tied to Freemasonry and (of course) the blood moon tetrads that began this week. How many crazy ideas can you find in this photo?
Picture
Photo: Heather Heaney / Buzzfeed
The promise that the Nephilim are tied to the Roswell incident is my favorite, and I’d have loved to see that part of the slide.
33. Human DNA is 7% alien. (Because they’ve been hooking up with us.)

32. We know this because human DNA has evolved in a greater rate during the last 5000 years than any period before it.
These are claims straight from David Wilcock on Ancient Aliens, and as I explained back when those episodes aired, he read the study all wrong.
17. The Sphinx is 8000 years older than we all thought. (By this point in the day I am like, sure. That sounds right.)

16. The Sphinx was originally a lion, and shrunk due to erosion.

15. The Sphinx’s head is not its original head. When this speaker tells us he believes the Sphinx’s head is a fake, and was replaced, and none of the Egyptologists will admit it, everyone in the audience is pissed, including me.

14. Under the Sphinx is a Hall of Records that details the history of the lost continent of Atlantis. (I have to get under the Sphinx.)
These old chestnuts are still around from the 1990s! Heaney has apparently misunderstood number 16, which should read that the Sphinx originally had a lion’s head (it still has the body of a lion), a standard claim in alternative archaeology, which argues that the head was re-carved, thus explaining its disproportionately small size. The Hall of Records originates with Edgar Cayce, who took many of his ideas directly out of Theosophy and the book Dweller on Two Planets.
13. Our alien overlords, also called “oversouls,” have made agents of masonic societies and the Illuminati
Of course we have the have the Freemasons and the Illuminati, since they are diagnostic of modern conspiracy culture… but where are the Knights Templar? The over-souls seem to refer to concepts from New Age beliefs in which they typically are said to represent fragments of a Gnostic-style Creator’s immortal soul, though, in any case this is more New Age spirituality manifesting as ufology.

So, apparently I made the right call in devoting so much space to Watcher-Nephilim texts; for whatever reason, they are the very center of ancient astronautics.
27 Comments
Matt Mc
4/16/2014 05:34:13 am

Wow, I don't really drink but I think if I was exposed to all that in one day I would need a few drinks.

Reply
true... (j.a.d)
4/16/2014 05:50:01 am

Matt Mc --- i do think we are distant cousins...

i know that Ron Paul does not have me quoting

H.L Mencken's 1925 updates from Tennessee.

https://archive.org/details/colonelalexander00raym

http://www.islandregister.com/huestis1.html

http://www.shelburneharbourboattours.com/mcnuttsadventure.htm

Reply
Matt Mc
4/16/2014 05:57:37 am

I have to admit I am sadly disappointed that there was no mention of the clockwork elves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BKzuzjjCro

J.A.D
4/16/2014 06:30:06 am

if this story is true...
http://www.islandregister.com/huestis1.html

The story goes... that Major John Andre, a British officer was the go-between for General Benedict Arnold and the British, and that he was imprisoned at '76 Stonehouse or Mabie's Inn. Mabie was of good family and was a French Huguenot expelled from France. Thomas was arrested by rebel troops just before the end of the war and was probably also held at the Inn. Phoebe had been born in the house and Thomas ended up married to the daughter of the inkeeper????? - so says alan.huestis@ns.sympatico.ca

there is a really really really big birch
tree on Alex McNutt's lil island. in the
1780s when T.Huestis went to N.S we
here in E.O Wilson's good ole USA had
nearly 90% of our big old growth trees...

J.A.D
4/16/2014 06:37:01 am

tank = ww1+2 vehicle that gas guzzles
tank = thingie NEO is inside in MATRIX in 1999
tank = whut i hope happens to Rick S's Iowa bandwagon

http://natureandculture.org/who-we-are/our-team/eo-wilson

thinktank = consensus building device for Woodrow Wilson's
young idealistic protege, the dude who married his 5th cousin.
GOTO New Deal. dude had no military background, but he...

[jad]
4/16/2014 07:23:22 am

http://www.fdrfourfreedomspark.org/events

[jad]
4/16/2014 07:25:24 am

was curious about the 'foo-fighters" of L.A in '42
http://www.fdrfourfreedomspark.org/events/entry/april-events

[jad]
4/16/2014 07:38:35 am

ZEUS= horny dude very promiscuous & randy
HERC = Zeus's half Titan son
David = guy whose river pebble did more
than give Goliath a headache...

If Goliath hath an almost Trojan Olympian bloodline
akin to Augustus Caesar, that dates way back to an
auld Atlantean Sea Empire that had colonies over
three great oceans in their ICE AGE formality...then
lets either hand EDEN to North Africa or Mongolia!!!

Reply
rand paul is whumping senator rick S in early IOWA gop 2016 polls
4/16/2014 05:42:23 am

today's good news as we contemplate this missive from
the political bandwagon of Sen. Rick S's antiThesis hegelian
answer to FDR clever brainTrust ww2 era thinktank system

Reply
warning warning warning will robinson...
4/16/2014 06:41:20 am

GOV.JEB BUSH toyz often with
and/or about a 2016 or 20/20 run
but my BEN FRANKLIN bifocals
see Rand Paul loomin (99.9% large.

Reply
) ---- rand may sweep N.H in early 2016
4/16/2014 06:49:08 am

(99.9% + ) = (99.9%) me bad.
by 2050 Jason C's blog will let us
edit our missives and mistakes, i
do indeed opine! i hope Jason keeps
our quips on lil CD-WORMs and does
not succinctly assume the Freedom
of Information act will hand him my old
opines i placed here, after he goes to
the N$A with a very logical internet request.
i can even hand him a notary public signed
document where he can tell all how gonzo
semi-literate i was. he hath my permission
to publish my better & vintage missives if
they hint at Hunter Thompson's Wild Turkey
mind-engrams. GOTO trek episode about the
computer created by kind Doctor Daystrom...

Reply
FOIA= Wise Alphabet Soup via our GOv't
4/16/2014 06:56:47 am

Jason, wait 30 years and then read my gonzo entrails.
i wuz at the Black Vault, got semi-banned. i opined at
nice Whitley Strieber's site. i even debated EFC at young
Eugene Roddenberry's Philosophy Sphere. i may have been
opinionated. ASK me who ARATUS was at the RPFs in
Feb 2008 to say Feb of 2014. i have indeedy opined. i am
ducking out from some of my online friends as 2016 looms.
i even sat inside a chatroom as DOUG WEED talked about
current events and our past tense presidents. you do have
a blog that is a curious creature that can go high, middle & low
brow in nano-seconds, when things get intense. i even have
left opines at the onlinebigbrother(OBB)site, its been fun as
my opines contrast big Bro15usa with season two of the new
BB*CAN that just got very intense. i also opine on Survivor,

Reply
i even admit i drove poor JAKE of PageOneKentucky.com up the wall
4/16/2014 07:07:28 am

http://pageonekentucky.com/ being female, i can opine
on cute young rand paul. being male, jake often opines on
mitch mcConnell's political bedfellows and holdings in life.
had rand done a buzz cut in 2010 like some of ron's people
wanted, either trey grayson or jack conway would have been
very happy on election day. i am an old earth creationist in
an indirect way. i am einsteinian in my confusion, newtonian
when drunk or simplistic, and my asperger's shows more
than my @$$ does in public. i want to FIOA myself but dare not.
http://www.sos.ky.gov/Pages/default.aspx Trey Grayson was
a great SEC' of STATE, he might be very GOP + cabinet level.

Reply
J.A.D
4/16/2014 07:12:33 am

the tv show BIG BANG THEORY and or otherwise... y'all
know in '52 in D.C in our UFO lore there WAS a ufo flap.
expect them back in 2052 or by 2052 if i can opine on a
twin of Einstein profoundly, relatively speaking. i am not
sure that the Roswell N.M "et.s" were humanoid, cyborg
or clever A.Is like STTNG's Commander Data, but they may
possibly return as in real soon, now. i do often opine on this.

Reply
i LUV to opine on GOV BESHEAR's infamous ARK PARK in KY
4/16/2014 07:14:57 am

if Rand is on the GOP ticket, it would be a
way cool site for a future 2016 veep debate

Reply
Only Me
4/16/2014 07:45:42 am

J.A.D., leave the political stuff for the political blogs, please.

Also, can you place all your thoughts into one or two comments? You're jumping all over the place, and I really don't know what point you're trying to make. Make it easy for a fella, LOL!

Reply
Matt Mc
4/16/2014 07:52:16 am

Agreed

Reply
o.k
4/16/2014 07:55:22 am

cool.
am too gonzo.
[jad]

Reply
Only Me
4/16/2014 08:00:26 am

No problem. I guess I'm too used to the hyperventilators and not the hyperactive.

Reply
Dave Lewis
4/16/2014 01:27:56 pm

I never have a clue as to what JAD is talking about!

((((((drum rolls))))))))
4/16/2014 07:57:47 am

flat out, young earth creationists drop zeros in all dates.

100,ooo B.C =/= 10,000 B.C =/= 1,OOO B.C

Reply
Shane Sullivan
4/16/2014 08:41:55 am

"Apparently, even Nephilim researchers have trouble imagining magic nowadays and need their angels to have super-iPads."

Tell me about it. I recently read an article about how John Dee's "Great Tablet" was a piece of hardware for downloading and processing four-dimensional data.

I guess during all his crystal gazing sessions he was really skyping with planetary angels.

Reply
Varika
4/17/2014 07:16:48 am

Imagine if Dee wound up transported to modern-day America and was handed an iphone with one of those nifty astronomy apps that lets you hold it up and see the constellations outlined and with trajectory lines and all that...he'd break down and cry desperately to have one of these "Baby Great Tablets" and then we'd NEVER get him onto the Android wagon.

Reply
KIF
4/18/2014 04:19:10 am

Dee's success was due to Queen Elizabeth I.
He was jettisoned by King James I and died in misery

Shane C
4/16/2014 11:38:26 am

An inter-dimensional portal located at the Tower of Babel? That sounds like the plot of of the 1999 PC/N64 game Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine. Makes me wonder if the Babel portal theory is an old or new idea. I guess I just find it intriguing how conspiracy theries can independently mirror fiction, particularly video games because I assume the proponents have no idea there exists some that are similar to their theories. Even Scott Wolter's ideas seem to mirror the Assassins Creed series.

Reply
Robin Swope
4/16/2014 04:58:05 pm

This reminds me of some fundamental Christian eschatology seminars that I attended when I was young.

Reply
Kal
4/18/2014 09:27:44 am

Tinfoil hat time. Makes you wonder if there were aliens out there, are they seeing our ridiculous conspiracies about aliens as real or paranoia? I suspect they know better and consider our planet too demented to actually land on.

Maybe they should make a Roland Emmerich movie combining the Bermuda Triangle, Egyptians, Atlantis and Area 51 and Gray Aliens.

"They didn't come to invade us. They came to steal our men!" Tagline from cheesy 70's space vixen monster movie.

Reply

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